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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 387
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

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Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 6 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.

Loss of spouse… 3 Replies

For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue

Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

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Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:11pm

I still can't see pics here so don't know if it posted.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:10pm

Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot. We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves. You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us. Keep sharing here.  It helps that we know that we're not alone.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 2:00pm

I'm still a mess too Morgan and it just keeps getting worse.  Nothing but going to her will ever help me not be in agony every second of every day.  That being said, it has to happen naturally which really sucks because we don't know when.  It will happen someday though and to spend eternity with her, I'll suffer for as long as it takes.  It's only 4 days away from when she vomited and 6 days away from when she was in the hospital and 64 days till she passed, two years ago.  December 3rd would had been our 50th wedding anniversary and was planning such a great vacation to celebrate it a year before she got sick.  I'm dreading that day, as I am dreading the holidays coming up.  I spend 2 to 3 hour every day at the cemetery.  It'll be all day on Dec. 3rd.  I have such hopes that I die on that day.  What a gift to her that would make.  But I don't think I'm that lucky so not counting on it.  I'm in my 70th year now, not in good health, so it can't be that far off.  Just have to suffer and wait till this damned body of mine gives up.  That's my only "till then".  Joe

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 14, 2019 at 2:00pm

Hi Morgan,

Once again your have posted my exact feelings on losing my beloved Julian. 7 years also.

Life does not go on for me, I am just existing until death takes me and the sooner the better.

Comment by Monty on November 6, 2019 at 4:00pm

Hi All

its been a while since I've posted here, life has been very busy (working looking after the kids and exercising and whatnot).

I hope everyone is well.

I'm going to preface this post with a comment "everyone's journey through grief is different and I don't for one minute expect any of the journeys I've had would be similar to others"

 

I thought that I would drop in and let people know how things are progressing for me.

mostly well.

I've for the last 6-9 months I've been dieting (more like not eating any sugar and trying to eat more whole foods, salad vegies and the likes of).  this has been amazing for me and I've lost over 16Kg about 35 pounds so far

I've been listening to positive audiobooks while out on a walk.

I continue to go to my men's group ( widowers at the bar) and have recently concluded another six-session counselling sessions.

For me focusing on the positives in life has made a huge difference.

Don't get me wrong; I still have moments where I miss my carol deeply and some days it seems to shake me like a tree in a cyclone.

Although I still remember all the good things that carol and l had, I remember whats she said to me in the last few days I had her "she wanted me to live life as she couldn't" with her condition.

I try to honour her by doing the best I can for the boys and me. And push my self to be a little better than the day before.

I've also joined a facebook group "Widowers Support Network"  its a closed group for men.. sorry lady's

its been very good for discussing feelings, questions and advice.

in closing, for me, grief has been a traumatic experience in the near two years since carols passing, and the grief of coping with her debilitating condition and the knowledge that my boys may head down the same path.

I think I've come to grips with most of it 

I continue as written by Dylan Thomas wrote in one of his poem's

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light"

I continue to fight against my dark moments, negativity and things that do not have a positive effect on my and my family's life.

 

please have the very best day you can

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 6, 2019 at 1:22pm

Hi Fran,

So sorry for your loss. It's been 7 years since I lost my Beloved Husband.

I have and never will be the person I was. I have accepted that and just go through the motions. There are no good days for me.

Since the day he died, I died too. 

Comment by Fran on November 6, 2019 at 1:11pm

5 years ago tonite I lost my Love. Since then I check in here periodically to see how others deal with the passage of time. Apparently, pretty similarly. We do what we must. We have "good" days and worse days. Our memories blindside us yet we muddle on. We find that we don't fit into the lives of our family and friends, and we just don't have the strength to fight our way back in. The initial sympathy, understanding and support we receive disappears rather quickly. We are left to our own devices.  5 years of emptiness that seems to be even longer some days. We watch others complain their spouse and want to scream at them to enjoy them while they have them. Sometimes life just isn't fair.

But thank you all for being here and understanding....

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 4, 2019 at 6:30am

Jonathan,

So sorry for the loss of your Wife.

All the friends on this forum are just waiting to join their spouse again. 

It's all we can do. 

Comment by Jonathan on November 4, 2019 at 4:37am

It has been about 16 months since I lost my beloved wife. Still as painful as though she just "sleep in Christ" on 10th July 2018...

Life has been aimless and without any objective since then. Everyday has been slow but to me, everyday that passed is a day that I closer to her and closer to out reunion in heaven where I can hug close to my chest tightly once again and that's for eternity.....

Just hope that that day is not too far off

Comment by morgan on October 28, 2019 at 9:33pm

Linda,  I've been thinking about you wondering how Babie J is?  I just started feeding a feral cat here where I live on the woods and though I refuse to get too attached these little critters also get a piece of our heart.  I think I had gone two full days without crying and then tonight I am back in my hole.  I really hate feeling so abandoned.  I don't even have the energy anymore to explain what triggered it but the beating of my soul just goes on and on.  

What can I do to make it stop?  Nothing......absolutely nothing,

 

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