Pamela philipp
  • Female
  • Hobart, IN
  • United States
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Understanding grief
10 Replies

There has been things on this site I understand and some things I don't however with that being said here is my opinion on recent things I have read about grief I lost my mother and my husband within…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Jan 24, 2017.

At the end of my rope
2 Replies

I don't know if I can go on much longer the pain is so excruciating it's getting harder each day it's coming up on 15 months since my husband passed away from cancer and I am having trouble sleeping…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 6, 2016.

Why does everyone say that things will get easier?
6 Replies

I don't understand why people keep telling me that things are going to get easier when people ask me how I am like a friend of mine that I've been friends with for over 30 years she lost her husband…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by annjulie Dec 7, 2016.

Feeling more lost than ever
5 Replies

It's been just a little over a year since my mom and my husband passed I've had no contact with my family because obviously they think I'm fine it's funny how when you lose somebody you find out…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Nov 20, 2016.

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Pamela philipp's Page

Latest Activity

Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Where/how did they bury the manual for life? It has a symbol:$$$$$$"
Jul 23
morgan replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You know whats so powerful about sites like this.   It doesnt gloss over the dysfunction. The utter inhumanity.  Yet at the same time it is the most holistic approach to how we could live.  Each of us helping another.  I cannot…"
Jul 23
Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I know all about the "I just can't." It's not because you don't want to... you try and it's just not there, like turning on a light switch and the bulb doesn't work. You did all you could and knew how to, but it…"
Jul 22
morgan replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Christopher, You have had alot of good to post and i applaud your willingness to keep your focus forward. But for some of us that practical, pragmatic, positive "purpose" does not exist. And age plus length of time with our spouses can…"
Jul 22
Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You had half your soul ripped out... basically. Of course you're going to struggle. Most folks just don't get that because they are still fine. They have not been so deeply wounded and have nothing to compare your struggle to. When I…"
Jul 22
Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Jul 15
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Jul 13
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Jul 12
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"next month it will be three years since I lost my mom the problem I have is eight days after I lost her I lost my husband as well and I honestly haven't grieved for her at all also I carry a lot of anger when it comes to my mother growing up…"
Jul 12
Pamela philipp joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Jul 12
Pamela philipp added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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FAILING

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to move forward as people say, I cant get through a day without breaking down, I have been told its time to start living my life and I just want to scream WHAT LIFE!!!!!! I don't know what to do I'm just existing for my children and grandchildren other wise I would of gave up a long time ago and because…See More
Jul 12
bluebird commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Alone
"Pamela, My husband died nearly 6 years ago, and I am still as hurt and sad and angry and grieving as I was the day he died. I can only imagine how horrible it must be to have had two people so dear to you die so closely together. I know what you…"
Jun 10
Pamela philipp joined donna henderson's group
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
Jun 6
Avi commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Alone
"Hi Pamela You are not alone. Your loved ones are with you and would like you to be happy. I lost my mother on 15 May 18 and was shattered for few days but she still see me and I believe that I will meet her someday in heaven or the journey."
Jun 6
Virginia G commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Alone
"Pamela,  It has been over three months since I lost my Mom, my very best friend, my whole world.  I feel the same things you do.  I have friends and some family to talk to and even see a therapist but it doesnt help.  One thing…"
Jun 6
Pamela philipp commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Alone
"Thank you billy jo for your kind words unfortunately I have no way to talk to anyone because I have no health insurance since I lost my husband so although I have thought about talking to someone I can’t but I really appreciate your kindness…"
Jun 4

Profile Information

About Me:
Married 23years mother of two grandmother of seven
About my Loss:
My mom passed on sept 6th 2015 and then my husband passed sept 14th 2015 eight days after my mom how do you go on from there and also my wedding anniversary is August 15th it will be 24 years and no I will never stop saying I'm married because I am I guess the worst thing is no one in my family seems to care no one calls or has talked to me since the memorial for my husband how can I keep going on and the only reason I'm still here is because I promised my husband I wouldn't follow him into the dark but I really don't know how to live anymore without him and I still am not dealing with my mothers passing either so now what do I do and it makes me doubt there is a god or heaven how could a god that loves you hurt you like that

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Pamela philipp's Blog

Alone

I lost my mother on 9/6/15 then eight days later on 9/14/15 I lost my husband and 2 1/2 years later I am so lost the heartache is more unbearable every day and I feel like I have been in this horrific nightmare and I can’t wake up I have never felt so much pain ever in my life people keep telling me in time you will be ok but honestly I know that’s not true I know im just existing I stopped living when my whole world turned upside down I don’t know how to keep going I just pretend every day…

Continue

Posted on June 4, 2018 at 3:55pm — 5 Comments

Empty

It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to… Continue

Posted on September 25, 2017 at 9:20am — 3 Comments

Lost

In September it will be two years since I lost my mother 9-6-15 and my husband 9-14-15 and since they left my family absolutely abandoned me no one talks to me no one seems to care if I'm OK all my friends that say they're my friends are liars they never talk to me either and it makes me start to wonder what the hell did I do so wrong that makes your family and your so-called friends just stop communicating when I ask if they're going to come visit soon they all have excuses oh I can't I'm too… Continue

Posted on July 2, 2017 at 2:41pm — 3 Comments

Trouble sleeping still

Does anybody else have trouble sleeping I can't seem to fall sleep I'm up night after night really really late usually wind up crying myself to sleep but no matter how tired I am I just don't sleep does anyone else have that problem i've had this problem since my husband got sick and it seems to of gotten worse almost 14 months he's been gone

Posted on November 12, 2016 at 8:06pm — 9 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:23am on December 28, 2016, Jarvis said…

Hi,  you may wish to check out the following link.  It's from Dr. Oz.  Let me know what you think of his suggestions.  http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-All-Natural-Cures-for-Anxiety

At 10:05pm on November 12, 2016, Lisa said…
Please know that you are not alone. Nights are difficult with thoughts racing and wanting to sleep but you can't. I have to tell myself over and over to let the thoughts go. It's not easy but you made a promise to your husband and he wants you to be ok. Let me know how you are, please.
At 12:47pm on November 12, 2016, Fran said…

Pamela, I share your pain. My husband's diagnosis seems similar to your husband's. Not discovered for way too long and then much too late. Stage IV lung cancer. Just passed 2 years since he died. It's only now that I am starting to feel much of anything. He suffered for 8 or 9 months after the official diagnosis...but we were told it had probably been there for 4 years already. And that's what I don't understand...he'd been thru a couple of surgeries including a nose surgery just a month before diagnosis...why wasn't it discovered earlier? Anyhow, now I have to handle all the "little things" that he would've done. He survived to our 27th anniversary. Decisions were joint or he'd make it based on some input from me. It's taken me this long to just decide to repaint our bedroom! For me, finding myself, finding out what I want without any input from him , well, I'm just lost! I don't know who I am without him. I have 2 adult children who live with me and help keep things going, without them I'd be even worse. I have friends who are more supportive than my siblings. Thank God for them. Anyhow Pamela, we continue because we must.  Know that you are not alone on this forum. We all hurt. We all support each other thru this "new normal".

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm glad that I was with my mom when she passed over. I was the last person that she saw and I was able to tell her that it was okay, but you bet I was haunted by all that I saw. There is no good way."
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No she always used to say to me “you never know when it will be your time” I’m mad at myself for not being there and the reason was that I stopped at her house on the way to the hospital thinking they will have to get her settled…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJade Rogers, Butterfly, Tammy* and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
3 hours ago
Butterfly left a comment for Avi
"Hi , I lost my mother on April 14, 2018. Was with her when she passed. Love if her life. It was hard watching her go and seeing the fight in her face and her knowing that was it as far as being with me again in physical body. She is now a gorgeous…"
3 hours ago
Joy left a comment for Frances Koonce
"Thanks for your message Frances. I just saw it. I appreciate your kind words. God bless you.  I don’t post on this site likebI did when my mom first died. It’s still hard adjusting to her not being here.  Her death has helped…"
4 hours ago
Joy and Frances Koonce are now friends
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, so glad for you I so wish I could have the same experience I finally after much though realized what it is that I am having a hard time with about my moms death.....why did she go in CA, I cry and realize that I will live with not knowing…"
4 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have made a decision to take baby steps to recover from the trauma of the bleed in my brain. The first step I am working on is thinking of myself as a whole person who has the desire and courage to return to living a life without thinking of…"
7 hours ago
Ginger commented on Susan Dee Leatham's blog post While I was sleeping
"Thanks Susan,for this very inspiring post, I lost my daughter on Feb. 18,2018 and reading this has given me so much more peace as I talk to her  everyday."
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm glad I was able to help a bit.  :)"
23 hours ago
Elynn m replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you bluebird for the kind words.  That's a great idea to write to our friends.   I still send Christmas cards, and birthday cards, but I should send a card once in awhile too. Thank you for the advice."
yesterday
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm sorry you're feeling so down.  It's good that you have your children and your sister-in-law, but no one can take the place of your husband.  As far as your friends, it's quite possible that they just don't know…"
yesterday
Donna Barringer updated their profile
yesterday
Profile IconDonna Barringer and Angel Moore joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Crystal K and Avi are now friends
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn and Monty I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J."
Friday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"thank you Monty for your comments.  I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say.   I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends,…"
Friday
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn sorry so to hear of your loss and how your feeling. My wife passed December last year and i have also found that people have stopped calling and don't come around. I too am feeling isolated and alone. Luckily for me i have my sister…"
Friday

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