Pamela philipp
  • Female
  • Hobart, IN
  • United States
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Defeated
1 Reply

I am at the point of just being done I am totally defeated I just want to give up  I didn't know it would be so hard to be alone I walk around pretending everything is fine when nothing is fine and…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Virginia G Feb 18.

Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
4 Replies

how do I deal with this horrible disease that is taking my family little by little I lost my husband to this horrible disease and my brother is still battling his cancer for many years and now his…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Pamela philipp Dec 26, 2018.

Understanding grief
10 Replies

There has been things on this site I understand and some things I don't however with that being said here is my opinion on recent things I have read about grief I lost my mother and my husband within…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Jan 24, 2017.

At the end of my rope
2 Replies

I don't know if I can go on much longer the pain is so excruciating it's getting harder each day it's coming up on 15 months since my husband passed away from cancer and I am having trouble sleeping…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 6, 2016.

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Latest Activity

Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
Feb 18
Pamela philipp posted a discussion

Defeated

I am at the point of just being done I am totally defeated I just want to give up  I didn't know it would be so hard to be alone I walk around pretending everything is fine when nothing is fine and nobody gets it and I thought I could feel better being on this web site but even this isn't working I just don't know what to do I hate being here I give up See More
Feb 4
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am…See More
Jan 16
Pamela philipp replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"dear Connie I understand how you feel it has been three years and three months since I lost my husband and I agree with you that I wish people would stop telling me that in time I will heal or that it gets easier,  for me that is all a lie I am…"
Dec 26, 2018
Connie miller replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"I lost my husband on November 25th 2018 he had stage 4 cancer I lost him within 3 months. This Christmas was so hard. I'm tired of people who haven't lost anyone that it gets easier. All I need is time. I'm so ss for everyone who lost…"
Dec 25, 2018
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"thank you Brett Bowman  for your truly kind words and advice it means a lot to me and your right I don't feel like I have grieved for her at all but I will try your advice thank you so much have a blessed day"
Dec 20, 2018
dream moon JO B replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"big c is evil loss lot of famly to it evn frinds nboz  my religen is spirtsalm it is but big c is evil lk dem/alz it is evil i prey thy can rid o it i do sines joingg spooks churchh im not only 1 its loss famly coz of big c evn alz /dem bth…"
Dec 17, 2018
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life…"
Dec 13, 2018
Dennis C. replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"Pamela Cancer is indeed a plague. Death from cancer is only part of the story. The journey from diagnosis to death is horrific and overwhelming. Even though cancer effects a lot of people, there are so many that just don't understand how…"
Dec 7, 2018
M Adams commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, so sorry you're having to deal with this -- of course it's great that you're able to let your daughter move her family into your home when she's in need of support, but she must respect that it is your home and you decide…"
Dec 1, 2018
Virginia G commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"I don’t think you should put anything away that you don’t want to.  Why?  You aren’t going to stop loving the person.  My cousins tried to tell me how I should be acting so I stopped going there for comfort and they…"
Nov 30, 2018
Pamela philipp posted a discussion

Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this

how do I deal with this horrible disease that is taking my family little by little I lost my husband to this horrible disease and my brother is still battling his cancer for many years and now his wife my sister in-law has stage four metastatic breast cancer I don't know how to handle this anymore I just don't understand. I lost my husband in September of 2015 he was first diagnosed with stage two throat cancer then he went in for a pet scan and they found a second and separate cancer in his…See More
Nov 30, 2018
Pamela philipp commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"hi Michael I agree with all that you said it has been a little over three years since I lost my mom 9-6-15 and then the love of my life my husband on9-14-15 and I am as lost as ever we were married in august of1992 I miss him every day"
Nov 30, 2018
Pamela philipp left a comment for Virginia G
"hi Virginia how are you today ? hope you are better wishing you a better day"
Nov 30, 2018
Virginia G and Pamela philipp are now friends
Nov 29, 2018
Pamela philipp commented on Virginia G's blog post No reason to live
"I am so sorry for your heartache sadly I understand how you feel it has been a little over three years since I lost my mom and then my husband and I have been lost ever since but I believe this site is a way to scream out how you feel and its okay…"
Nov 29, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
Married 23years mother of two grandmother of seven
About my Loss:
My mom passed on sept 6th 2015 and then my husband passed sept 14th 2015 eight days after my mom how do you go on from there and also my wedding anniversary is August 15th it will be 24 years and no I will never stop saying I'm married because I am I guess the worst thing is no one in my family seems to care no one calls or has talked to me since the memorial for my husband how can I keep going on and the only reason I'm still here is because I promised my husband I wouldn't follow him into the dark but I really don't know how to live anymore without him and I still am not dealing with my mothers passing either so now what do I do and it makes me doubt there is a god or heaven how could a god that loves you hurt you like that

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Pamela philipp's Blog

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

Continue

Posted on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Posted on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

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Posted on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Alone

I lost my mother on 9/6/15 then eight days later on 9/14/15 I lost my husband and 2 1/2 years later I am so lost the heartache is more unbearable every day and I feel like I have been in this horrific nightmare and I can’t wake up I have never felt so much pain ever in my life people keep telling me in time you will be ok but honestly I know that’s not true I know im just existing I stopped living when my whole world turned upside down I don’t know how to keep going I just pretend every day…

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Posted on June 4, 2018 at 3:55pm — 5 Comments

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 8:04am on November 17, 2018, Denise Lavoie said…
Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is gone.My heart is brokenToday l have to take it one minute at a time if I go any faster I colaspe mentally.l guess we experience all these feelings in different ways cause l relate to what everyone is saying.l know l have a hard time verbalizing how l feel.Thanks for being there.
At 9:23am on December 28, 2016, Jarvis said…

Hi,  you may wish to check out the following link.  It's from Dr. Oz.  Let me know what you think of his suggestions.  http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-All-Natural-Cures-for-Anxiety

At 10:05pm on November 12, 2016, Lisa said…
Please know that you are not alone. Nights are difficult with thoughts racing and wanting to sleep but you can't. I have to tell myself over and over to let the thoughts go. It's not easy but you made a promise to your husband and he wants you to be ok. Let me know how you are, please.
At 12:47pm on November 12, 2016, Fran said…

Pamela, I share your pain. My husband's diagnosis seems similar to your husband's. Not discovered for way too long and then much too late. Stage IV lung cancer. Just passed 2 years since he died. It's only now that I am starting to feel much of anything. He suffered for 8 or 9 months after the official diagnosis...but we were told it had probably been there for 4 years already. And that's what I don't understand...he'd been thru a couple of surgeries including a nose surgery just a month before diagnosis...why wasn't it discovered earlier? Anyhow, now I have to handle all the "little things" that he would've done. He survived to our 27th anniversary. Decisions were joint or he'd make it based on some input from me. It's taken me this long to just decide to repaint our bedroom! For me, finding myself, finding out what I want without any input from him , well, I'm just lost! I don't know who I am without him. I have 2 adult children who live with me and help keep things going, without them I'd be even worse. I have friends who are more supportive than my siblings. Thank God for them. Anyhow Pamela, we continue because we must.  Know that you are not alone on this forum. We all hurt. We all support each other thru this "new normal".

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The triggers are one of the hardest thing. Just hearing a song, driving down a familiar street, a smell, a television show, can all bring back a painful memory. Even if they invoke a nice memory, it still hurts because of lost time, not being able…"
35 minutes ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you so much!  It hurts, but it helps to share with others.  Some days are better than others & there are triggers.  I am so happy for Avi, his daughter & father.  She will love having her grandfather there.  I…"
44 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sue, if we can ever answer any questions that you may have about what you are experiencing, please let us know. Everyone's story is different, but the feeling of loss that we all have is familiar. This is a group of people who understand."
52 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, it's amazing how the Lord took care of both you and your dad. As happy as I am for you, I think I may be even more happy for your dad. This gives him a reason to get up in the morning, and gives him someone to focus that lost love on. You…"
54 minutes ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, I appreciate your message.  So glad you have you little daughter.  That is wonderful for her to be with your Dad.  Take care, will be thinking of you & your family.  "
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys my little girl has moved on with me now after spending 8 months at her maternal grand mother's place. Now me, my wife and my father lives together. My father who was alone after my mother's death has a new hope and motivation to live…"
5 hours ago
Brenda joined donna henderson's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
yesterday
Brenda updated their profile
yesterday
Brenda is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Liserh updated their profile
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello Dream moon Jo B, Good to see you back on the site. "
Wednesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I am so sorry.  I hope things are better for you & thank you for your message.  I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.  Take care & will be thinking of you,"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sue, I am so sorry. I know. Believe me, we know. And I wish that I could say something more. Something horrible happened to me today. The worst possible thing that could have happened, beyond losing my dog. I'm not sick or anything, but my…"
Wednesday
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"iv loss lot of pepplee iv lovd dealy to big c iv got to say gud by to sum 1 iv new for ovf 36 yrs to big c im 44 im her oldeds nbor i am  iv lovd her dealyy still do i do iv lovd dead pepelel for yrs if no 1 gets it no 1 will only on hear thy do"
Tuesday
dream moon JO B commented on Jarvis's blog post After Death Communication
"iv smeltt beef gravyy on off lastt few dayss dad luvd beef he did evenn beef gravy he did lk his arond  iv learndd lots off spook churchh i ahv hav seertenn smellls let u no thy hear evn told me i need to slow get a/r in my body sortedd to lk i…"
Tuesday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no but i o to spirtt churchh i di it giv me ansersss it did ti  y told me to livmy life i do it did 1 of familyy cum trhu agan its tim i put m sf 1st iv pitnorhterts 1st for 2 long now tim to put me 1st"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This was my first holiday without my Mom.  She passed in March 2019.  Good Friday was rough.  I was looking forward to spending a long weekend with her.  Trying to stay busy, but I miss her so much.  Mornings are really bad…"
Monday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks for thinking of me Avi — hope you’re doing well and enjoying your little girl.  This is the first Easter without my mother. Losing her has really changed things, it seems that she and I (and my husband) were the ones who…"
Monday
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Monday

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