Pamela philipp
  • Female
  • Hobart, IN
  • United States
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Understanding grief
10 Replies

There has been things on this site I understand and some things I don't however with that being said here is my opinion on recent things I have read about grief I lost my mother and my husband within…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by JO B Jan 24.

At the end of my rope
2 Replies

I don't know if I can go on much longer the pain is so excruciating it's getting harder each day it's coming up on 15 months since my husband passed away from cancer and I am having trouble sleeping…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 6, 2016.

Why does everyone say that things will get easier?
6 Replies

I don't understand why people keep telling me that things are going to get easier when people ask me how I am like a friend of mine that I've been friends with for over 30 years she lost her husband…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by annjulie Dec 7, 2016.

Feeling more lost than ever
5 Replies

It's been just a little over a year since my mom and my husband passed I've had no contact with my family because obviously they think I'm fine it's funny how when you lose somebody you find out…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Nov 20, 2016.

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Pamela philipp's Page

Latest Activity

Pamela philipp replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Move on? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thankyou Kevin I appreciate that a lot this is why I like this site hope you have a good day thanks again"
Mar 30
Pamela philipp replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Move on? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't understand why people think that time makes things easier or better it's been 18 months since I lost my mother 9-6-15 and my husband 9-14-15 it's just getting worse plus the fact that my so called friends and family…"
Mar 29
JO B replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"no 1 gets it till it hapens 2 thm thn thy dnt get it still evn i dnt deep in me all i say s whu why why why i ask am i a nasty persn i do  is t my falt i ask i do i ask a 1000000000000000000000000 qus or mor evry day i do"
Jan 24
Pamela philipp replied to Maxey's discussion Comfort in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Maxey I absolutely understand how you feel my so called family and friends stopped talking to me after my husbands memorial service I guess they think I should be fine by now because it's been 16 months and I guess they think I should just be…"
Jan 16
Pamela philipp commented on Brenda Ann's group Has your faith been tested or lost with the death of your loved one?
"I don't know if I have actually lost faith in God I just don't understand before the loss of my mother and the loss of my husband a week apart I would say I was extremely faithful in God I remember sitting with my husband reading passages…"
Jan 13
Pamela philipp replied to brenda mcintyre's discussion lost in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Brenda first I am truly sorry for your loss my children are grown as well my daughter moved out of state just a few months before my husband passed he passed in September of 2015 Life has not been the same since there isn't a day that goes by…"
Jan 13
bluebird replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"You are very welcome, Pamela. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}"
Jan 12
Pamela philipp replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"Thankyou bluebird I appreciate what you said and you are right"
Jan 12
JO B replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"thnx my cat of 16 yrs wz mor undstanin thn humens cud be i wud cry on her fur wen my dad died she wud lic me is 2 say sorry humn mom shes gon now iv 2 new kittys i luv dealy i do 2  iv noted cats dogs seam 2 hav mor hume humenn fealins thn…"
Jan 12
AnneJ replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"Jo, I read and listened to you as you went through the sadness of knowing your good companion, your kitty, was going to pass away. I have a guy like that, too. He's a big, old, male cat who has kept me company for these last years and I pretend…"
Jan 12
JO B replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"all i no i i wish i cud run 2 go s wear wear no 1 can tell me way i shud feal i no s 1 got anodyed it me for getin upset over lozin my cat of 16 yrs she wz only 1 it  got me thru a lot of multi los she did aftr  my dad died i seam 2 hav a…"
Jan 12
bluebird replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"Pamela, That's horrible that you lost your mother and your husband so close to each other. I'm sorry. As for people who criticize or accuse you of "wallowing" -- my advice is to ignore them.  Clearly they experience and deal…"
Jan 11
Pamela philipp and Louise are now friends
Jan 11
Pamela philipp replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"Louise thankyou it's true empathy does go a long way that's the whole purpose of this website so we could vent and not feel judged about how we feel or how long we grieve and we the grieving (not wallowing) are on this site for however…"
Jan 11
Louise replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"Pamela, I agree with every word. Thank you for writing this. What someone feels is never wrong, everyone is different and we should all learn to be more accepting of each other and not so judgemental. I was really upset by the "wallowing"…"
Jan 11
JO B replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Understanding grief
"so sorry on yore loss had so mush multi loss sisne 2012 thn nov had 2 get my fur kid of 16 yrs put 2 sleep wish kl d nely kild me ot did  my moms ill shes got dem/alz so i no she not goin2 get ber betr shes not  i cum on hear idnt feal so…"
Jan 11

Profile Information

About Me:
Married 23years mother of two grandmother of seven
About my Loss:
My mom passed on sept 6th 2015 and then my husband passed sept 14th 2015 eight days after my mom how do you go on from there and also my wedding anniversary is August 15th it will be 24 years and no I will never stop saying I'm married because I am I guess the worst thing is no one in my family seems to care no one calls or has talked to me since the memorial for my husband how can I keep going on and the only reason I'm still here is because I promised my husband I wouldn't follow him into the dark but I really don't know how to live anymore without him and I still am not dealing with my mothers passing either so now what do I do and it makes me doubt there is a god or heaven how could a god that loves you hurt you like that

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Pamela philipp's Blog

Trouble sleeping still

Does anybody else have trouble sleeping I can't seem to fall sleep I'm up night after night really really late usually wind up crying myself to sleep but no matter how tired I am I just don't sleep does anyone else have that problem i've had this problem since my husband got sick and it seems to of gotten worse almost 14 months he's been gone

Posted on November 12, 2016 at 8:06pm — 9 Comments

I feel like I have the plague

My mom and husband passed within eight days of each other in September of 2015. And now for the last year all my family has left me completely alone they don't call why is it when you lose someone like that everyone disappears all the people that said they were going to be there for you is not don't they understand how hurtful that is how do you handle that ???

Posted on October 8, 2016 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:23am on December 28, 2016, Diana, Grief Counselor said…

Hi,  you may wish to check out the following link.  It's from Dr. Oz.  Let me know what you think of his suggestions.  http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-All-Natural-Cures-for-Anxiety

At 10:05pm on November 12, 2016, Lisa said…
Please know that you are not alone. Nights are difficult with thoughts racing and wanting to sleep but you can't. I have to tell myself over and over to let the thoughts go. It's not easy but you made a promise to your husband and he wants you to be ok. Let me know how you are, please.
At 12:47pm on November 12, 2016, Fran said…

Pamela, I share your pain. My husband's diagnosis seems similar to your husband's. Not discovered for way too long and then much too late. Stage IV lung cancer. Just passed 2 years since he died. It's only now that I am starting to feel much of anything. He suffered for 8 or 9 months after the official diagnosis...but we were told it had probably been there for 4 years already. And that's what I don't understand...he'd been thru a couple of surgeries including a nose surgery just a month before diagnosis...why wasn't it discovered earlier? Anyhow, now I have to handle all the "little things" that he would've done. He survived to our 27th anniversary. Decisions were joint or he'd make it based on some input from me. It's taken me this long to just decide to repaint our bedroom! For me, finding myself, finding out what I want without any input from him , well, I'm just lost! I don't know who I am without him. I have 2 adult children who live with me and help keep things going, without them I'd be even worse. I have friends who are more supportive than my siblings. Thank God for them. Anyhow Pamela, we continue because we must.  Know that you are not alone on this forum. We all hurt. We all support each other thru this "new normal".

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right. I pray that you find some enjoyment on your day off. Sending hugs and love you way, Bluebell"
3 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, being a hospice nurse has to be tough I think you are right because of your own experience you will be stronger than you think. I am off today and I am going to run errands it helps to occupy my mind, but not completely.  "
6 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I just read the recent posts and wanted to say how only this evening I was thanking the universe that we humans are mortal. Whether it takes another 30 years (and like Jackie the thought of another 30 years terrifies me and saddens me beyond words)…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
12 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
13 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
14 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
14 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
14 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
14 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
15 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
16 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
17 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
18 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
19 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
19 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
21 hours ago

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