Pamela philipp
  • Female
  • Hobart, IN
  • United States
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Defeated
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I am at the point of just being done I am totally defeated I just want to give up  I didn't know it would be so hard to be alone I walk around pretending everything is fine when nothing is fine and…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Virginia G Feb 18.

Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
4 Replies

how do I deal with this horrible disease that is taking my family little by little I lost my husband to this horrible disease and my brother is still battling his cancer for many years and now his…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Pamela philipp Dec 26, 2018.

Understanding grief
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There has been things on this site I understand and some things I don't however with that being said here is my opinion on recent things I have read about grief I lost my mother and my husband within…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Jan 24, 2017.

At the end of my rope
2 Replies

I don't know if I can go on much longer the pain is so excruciating it's getting harder each day it's coming up on 15 months since my husband passed away from cancer and I am having trouble sleeping…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 6, 2016.

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About Me:
Married 23years mother of two grandmother of seven
About my Loss:
My mom passed on sept 6th 2015 and then my husband passed sept 14th 2015 eight days after my mom how do you go on from there and also my wedding anniversary is August 15th it will be 24 years and no I will never stop saying I'm married because I am I guess the worst thing is no one in my family seems to care no one calls or has talked to me since the memorial for my husband how can I keep going on and the only reason I'm still here is because I promised my husband I wouldn't follow him into the dark but I really don't know how to live anymore without him and I still am not dealing with my mothers passing either so now what do I do and it makes me doubt there is a god or heaven how could a god that loves you hurt you like that

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permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

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Posted on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Posted on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

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Posted on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Alone

I lost my mother on 9/6/15 then eight days later on 9/14/15 I lost my husband and 2 1/2 years later I am so lost the heartache is more unbearable every day and I feel like I have been in this horrific nightmare and I can’t wake up I have never felt so much pain ever in my life people keep telling me in time you will be ok but honestly I know that’s not true I know im just existing I stopped living when my whole world turned upside down I don’t know how to keep going I just pretend every day…

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Posted on June 4, 2018 at 3:55pm — 5 Comments

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 8:04am on November 17, 2018, Denise Lavoie said…
Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is gone.My heart is brokenToday l have to take it one minute at a time if I go any faster I colaspe mentally.l guess we experience all these feelings in different ways cause l relate to what everyone is saying.l know l have a hard time verbalizing how l feel.Thanks for being there.
At 9:23am on December 28, 2016, Jarvis said…

Hi,  you may wish to check out the following link.  It's from Dr. Oz.  Let me know what you think of his suggestions.  http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-All-Natural-Cures-for-Anxiety

At 10:05pm on November 12, 2016, Lisa said…
Please know that you are not alone. Nights are difficult with thoughts racing and wanting to sleep but you can't. I have to tell myself over and over to let the thoughts go. It's not easy but you made a promise to your husband and he wants you to be ok. Let me know how you are, please.
At 12:47pm on November 12, 2016, Fran said…

Pamela, I share your pain. My husband's diagnosis seems similar to your husband's. Not discovered for way too long and then much too late. Stage IV lung cancer. Just passed 2 years since he died. It's only now that I am starting to feel much of anything. He suffered for 8 or 9 months after the official diagnosis...but we were told it had probably been there for 4 years already. And that's what I don't understand...he'd been thru a couple of surgeries including a nose surgery just a month before diagnosis...why wasn't it discovered earlier? Anyhow, now I have to handle all the "little things" that he would've done. He survived to our 27th anniversary. Decisions were joint or he'd make it based on some input from me. It's taken me this long to just decide to repaint our bedroom! For me, finding myself, finding out what I want without any input from him , well, I'm just lost! I don't know who I am without him. I have 2 adult children who live with me and help keep things going, without them I'd be even worse. I have friends who are more supportive than my siblings. Thank God for them. Anyhow Pamela, we continue because we must.  Know that you are not alone on this forum. We all hurt. We all support each other thru this "new normal".

 
 
 

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M Adams left a comment for Allen
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, Your message is so moving! Every word you say rings so true! I could have written the message. You express my innermost thoughts and wishes. It's been a little over five years for me since Joseph has been gone, but I feel his lack as…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot. We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves. You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us. Keep sharing here. …"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot.  We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves.  You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us.  I tied…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm still a mess too Morgan and it just keeps getting worse.  Nothing but going to her will ever help me not be in agony every second of every day.  That being said, it has to happen naturally which really sucks because we don't…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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