"You sound very much in the same spot I am in. I lost my husband Oct 15, 2016 and I am just trying to make it to this coming Oct for a short cruise to Catalina and Mexico with my family. After that, I am hoping I will have some relief…"
"Its been four months for me too. I was an aspiring musician. I took it up late in life. I ve barely been able to pick up my guitar. People encourage me to do so, and the few times i have, i've forgotten so much and i dpn't have the…"
Glad to hear of your experience. Im so alone i think daily of ending it all (no plan.) i think people who care for me near me might prevent that. I also fear that this incrdible stress will activate a small cancer and kill me. Id be ok with…"
"I've been trying to go through the grief not "around" it as recommended. It sucks. Tonight i had 2 wines at dinner; im feeling almost human. A couple xanax and some pot and i'll be all set for the night."
"So im trying to clear out my place in anticipation of moving. There is 20 years of stuff, hundreds and hundreds of books, paper etc. i need to get rid of at least75 percent of it. Ive worked all day for several days, plus had done a little over a…"
"Thank you Kathleen. This is just so very awful. Its hell. The definition of hell. Ive been cleaning out my place in anticipation of moving and after throwing out 12 bags of papers, three boxes of books (to book drop) ive maybe made a 20 percent dent…"
I am also on an antidepressant but am still depressed. And i dont sleep. I am retired so i have little to do but think about my precious wife Roxanne. I am thinking about living with her son and his family - like a child, though id have my…"
In the final analysis, do you think moving to be near family was better than staying alone? I have been facing the same choice. I hate being totally alone 90 percent of the time. As I am retired, i sit in my home alone most days thinking up…"
"In anticipation of possibly moving I have been trying to clear my place of clutter. Today i attacked my office. Sfter several hours ive barely made a dent, throwing out stacks of papers, magazines, various crap that had piled up iver 20 years. The…"
"Im not sure but i havent set foot in our place since my wife died three months ago - she died in the house in my arms - and im selling the place and buying another place nearby with her son and his family. Im sure the grief is not going to lessen…"
You sound very much in the same spot I am in. I lost my husband Oct 15, 2016 and I am just trying to make it to this coming Oct for a short cruise to Catalina and Mexico with my family. After that, I am hoping I will have some relief from the loneliness and overwhelming sadness I am feeling now because I don't think I can live like this for very long. My son, my only child just went through a divorce and I have no support from him and I was a child who was passed off to different relatives because my mother was an alcoholic so I have no close family except for my cousins I lived with from age 13 until I got married. The only happiness I had in life was with my husband of 50 years and now he is gone.
I'm glad you are getting some help. If you have the resources, take advantage of it. Therapy and medication on the basis you describe is a real opportunity to get back on your feet. There's no cure for what we're going through but at least we can try to learn to cope the best we can. Let us know how it goes.
Hi, Michael. I think it's fantastic if you go for a two-week "tune up", as my husband would call it. :-) Little would he know that this is really what happens when the one and only in the whole world we love the most is stolen in front of our eyes. I would have given anything to go for a two-week help setting in the first months of this devastation but I didn't even know it was available. Well, I probably knew it was available somewhere but I had zero human beings in my life who actually gave a sh** about my close-to-breakdown, and fewer than zero who could guide me. Go. If you want, of course. But I think you are a lucky guy to have the chance, and I wish for you the very, very best. I look forward to listening to you on this site and how you are doing. It's so good to see John T. here, too. All of us here, we are but sojourners. Bless us for what we're suffering through. Love from AnneJ.
Hi Michael, Carl here I'm coming to Roanoke Wed, if you want to talk I'd like that and it might be good for both of us we are both grieving for our wives I know it's helpful to talk to someone in the same situation .please let me know it may help
Hey Michael, as much as I try to hide my pain I just can't. It gets to the point at times where it feels like I'm gonna have a breakdown because I can't handle it. It truly helps to talk with other people who truly understand this pain. take care my friend.
A psychiatrist had me on so much Xanax the first 4 months that I wasn't even counting how many. I think that's how managed to take care of what I had to and load up and move. For over a year, I didn't drink at all. I finally got off Xanax a year ago in January and started drinking too much beer. I have lost 30 pounds, gained 40, and lost 30 over the past 18 months. I'm healthy and feel I'm throwing that away by being so inactive. It's not by choice. This has been a rollercoaster ride through hell and I'm trapped most of the time.
Hi Michael we talked here several weeks ago my wife passed I'm November I'm visiting here in Roanoke this weekend with my kids,wondering if you wanted to get together .Leg me know it might be a good thing. CARL ACCOMANDO
"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
"Richard. I didn't know your wife nor do I know you but I'm quite sure she is mortified watching you self destruct. She would not want you to give up and hurt her by hurting yourself. She is still with you and you need to respect the love…"
Hello -My name is Karen. I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering. I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist. I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose. I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry.
Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life.
The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me.
I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different
Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way.
But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"