Michael
  • Male
  • Woburn, MA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Michael replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Guilt in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Don't go down the guilt road."
Mar 5
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, I have a similar memory that keeps replaying in my mind. Every day, many times a day. I think we have PTSD."
Feb 23
Michael replied to Krystle's discussion February 2nd 2017... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"So sorry about this. We all feel your pain. We've been there."
Feb 21
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wish you could have a happy birthday. I hope one day you will again."
Feb 18
Michael replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, do you have a paypal account?"
Feb 16
Michael replied to Michelle Lynch's discussion Lost my husband.. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Its been four months for me too. I was an aspiring musician. I took it up late in life. I ve barely been able to pick up my guitar. People encourage me to do so, and the few times i have, i've forgotten so much and i dpn't have the…"
Feb 16
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, Glad to hear of your experience. Im so alone i think daily of ending it all (no plan.) i think people who care for me near me might prevent that. I also fear that this incrdible stress will activate a small cancer and kill me. Id be ok with…"
Jan 26
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've been trying to go through the grief not "around" it as recommended. It sucks. Tonight i had 2 wines at dinner; im feeling almost human. A couple xanax and some pot and i'll be all set for the night."
Jan 25
Carl accomando left a comment for Michael
"Hi Michael I'll be in Roanoke tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday if you want t to get a beer or something. Let me know.Carl"
Jan 23
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"So im trying to clear out my place in anticipation of moving. There is 20 years of stuff, hundreds and hundreds of books, paper etc. i need to get rid of at least75 percent of it. Ive worked all day for several days, plus had done a little over a…"
Jan 18
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Kathleen. This is just so very awful. Its hell. The definition of hell. Ive been cleaning out my place in anticipation of moving and after throwing out 12 bags of papers, three boxes of books (to book drop) ive maybe made a 20 percent dent…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathleen I am also on an antidepressant but am still depressed. And i dont sleep. I am retired so i have little to do but think about my precious wife Roxanne. I am thinking about living with her son and his family - like a child, though id have my…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"John In the final analysis, do you think moving to be near family was better than staying alone? I have been facing the same choice. I hate being totally alone 90 percent of the time. As I am retired, i sit in my home alone most days thinking up…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"In anticipation of possibly moving I have been trying to clear my place of clutter. Today i attacked my office. Sfter several hours ive barely made a dent, throwing out stacks of papers, magazines, various crap that had piled up iver 20 years. The…"
Jan 16
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im not sure but i havent set foot in our place since my wife died three months ago - she died in the house in my arms - and im selling the place and buying another place nearby with her son and his family. Im sure the grief is not going to lessen…"
Jan 15
Michael and Kevin Bailey are now friends
Jan 14

Profile Information

About Me:
Am a semi-retired writer. Was married to Roxanne 26 years. I like golf and music when not grieving.
About my Loss:
My wife died Oct 9, of this year (2016)

Comment Wall (34 comments)

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At 11:50am on February 1, 2017, John T. said…

I'm glad you are getting some help.  If you have the resources, take advantage of it.  Therapy and medication on the basis you describe is a real opportunity to get back on your feet.  There's no cure for what we're going through but at least we can try to learn to cope the best we can.  Let us know how it goes.

At 11:39pm on January 31, 2017, AnneJ said…

Hi, Michael. I think it's fantastic if you go for a two-week "tune up", as my husband would call it. :-) Little would he  know that this is really what happens when the one and only in the whole world we love the most is stolen in front of our eyes. I would have given anything to go for a two-week help setting in the first months of this devastation but I didn't even know it was available. Well, I probably knew it was available somewhere but I had zero human beings in my life who actually gave a sh** about my close-to-breakdown, and fewer than zero who could guide me. Go. If you want, of course. But I think you are a lucky guy to have the chance, and I wish for you the very, very best. I look forward to listening to you on this site and how you are doing. It's so good to see John T. here, too. All of us here, we are but sojourners. Bless us for what we're suffering through. Love from AnneJ.

At 5:48pm on January 31, 2017, Carl accomando said…
That's to bad I would like to have met you we both share a devastating loss only someone who is going through it understands .so you no longer live in Virginia?
At 4:53pm on January 31, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael, Carl here I'm coming to Roanoke Wed, if you want to talk I'd like that and it might be good for both of us we are both grieving for our wives I know it's helpful to talk to someone in the same situation .please let me know it may help
At 9:43pm on January 30, 2017, Kevin Bailey said…

Hey Michael, as much as I try to hide my pain I just can't. It gets to the point at times where it feels like I'm gonna have a breakdown because I can't handle it. It truly helps to talk with other people who truly understand this pain. take care my friend.

At 8:37pm on January 25, 2017, John T. said…

A psychiatrist had me on so much Xanax the first 4 months that I wasn't even counting how many.  I think that's how managed to take care of what I had to and load up and move.  For over a year, I didn't drink at all.  I finally got off Xanax a year ago in January and started drinking too much beer.  I have lost 30 pounds, gained 40, and lost 30 over the past 18 months.  I'm healthy and feel I'm throwing that away by being so inactive.  It's not by choice.  This has been a rollercoaster ride through hell and I'm trapped most of the time.

At 4:30pm on January 23, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael I'll be in Roanoke tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday if you want t to get a beer or something. Let me know.Carl
At 10:40am on January 14, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael we talked here several weeks ago my wife passed I'm November I'm visiting here in Roanoke this weekend with my kids,wondering if you wanted to get together .Leg me know it might be a good thing. CARL ACCOMANDO
At 10:25am on January 14, 2017, Carl accomando said…
I'm here in roanoke wondering if you want to get together let me know .carl
At 5:55am on January 8, 2017, brenda mcintyre said…

Hi Michael.....I lost my husband of 27 years in oct too. it was sudden unexpected and so very tragic. I am struggling to live day to day. I cry all the time and fall apart so much its hard to count. I thought me and my husband could get through anything but I was wrong. now I live in agony everyday. just not wanting to do or go anywhere. I do have 2 fantastic kids both young adults and they struggle too. I feel like I let them down because I can hardly function let alone support them in their grief. looks like all of us are just struggling to survive and hoping not to..

 
 
 

Latest Activity

silvia maria posted a blog post

The REBEL inside us

There is a part of being human that is perhaps more evident to who is more an INTROSPECTIVE person. The part in me that the REBEL takes charge and propulse CHANGE. It´s not visible to others necessarily. Because it is in such a deep level, that most don´t quite read right. Works like this. When a lot of people tell you things that are not remotely acceptable, you make a longer distance from them to you. And they wonder what´s wrong, and of course they wont point at themselves reading you wrong…See More
45 minutes ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"Fabulous!  Enjoy the small moments.  I still run my karaoke business, but it was so hard to  sing so many songs without choking up during them.  Now, I've found a way to pull strength from them. I wish I  could explain…"
2 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"Well my friends, a strange thing has happened. This morning I was ranting to you all about not having a sign to say my Shirl is ok and still with me. We run or did run a dog training club together, we have done this since 1995, I am trying to carry…"
2 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"Oh and also can I just say that the worst thin I'm hearing over and over is that she is at peace now. She was at peace before she died, she was reading the paper saying what we were going to watch on TV that evening. She had just enjoyed tea…"
7 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"I'm getting this all the time, iv been told I'm still young enough to meet someone else, wtf! Light at the end of the end of the tunnel, it will get better with time. Keep yourself busy and you won't notice it so much. No one has a…"
7 hours ago
Tasha commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"People are just trying to help I believe. I can't stand when people want to know how they died. Why? I love them, I miss them, their route of departure isn't important. I have experienced much loss in my life, the most recently my…"
10 hours ago
bluebird and Lost with out him are now friends
10 hours ago
pamela k branchaud joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
12 hours ago
beverly zuriff left a comment for AnneJ
"Thank you for your understanding of my grief.  If you have gone through it, you know how terrible it is.  I wish you the best."
15 hours ago
Dolly commented on Diana, Grief Counselor's blog post After Death Communication
"I believe you got your answer Cindi... God is a merciful God and knows our hearts even with everyone else thinks they do... but only He does and only our hearts matter.. we all say and do things that hurt Him and like the best parent ever He loves…"
16 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jerry that is horrendous, how can that have happened, have you only just found this out. How could a disease she didn't have kill her. It's horrible. Thinking of you x"
19 hours ago
Paula Marie replied to cristian criss's discussion Agony after grandmum's death.
"This sounds very much like my experience of losing my amazing mother nearly 4 years ago. I felt totally empty and dead inside, and lost almost every reason to live. I clung to the few things left in my life that had meaning, and really just wanted…"
20 hours ago
Cindi Norton commented on Diana, Grief Counselor's blog post After Death Communication
"My 36 year old son Christopher died April 5th of an alcohol drug overdose.  He is a Christian and fought addictions for many years. I have tremendous guilt praying I could of helped him-saved him.  A few days ago I saw an Angel, just after…"
22 hours ago
Cindi Norton joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
22 hours ago
Maggi Crowston-Boaler replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"October 22nd, 2012, my elder son was told he had late-stage Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Massive tumour on his right lung. Inoperable. Long story short: he went through HELL and he died just a month later. No counselling has ever been offered. I've…"
23 hours ago
Jerry commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"So, I am having to learn all about SUDEP, Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. 13 Saturday's ago today, my beautiful, healthy, adoring, wife has apparently died from this mysterious condition, that is even more mysterious when you don't…"
yesterday
joanne commented on joanne's blog post I want to go back
"Jackie, im so sorry for your loss, my so called friends are also non existent, like you I understand they have lost the fun, happy person I once was, I will never be that person again, that person died when he did. I also understand the family part,…"
yesterday
Jackie cooke commented on joanne's blog post I want to go back
"All this is so true , there is no joy in waking up, every night i won't, it's 7 weeks today since my life came to an end and every day is worse. Friends are non existent,i don't blame them,the happy fun person has gone and all…"
yesterday
Tasha posted a discussion

Sons father died

January 20, my son's father lost his life to addiction. My son is eight years old, it seems so unfair that a little kid has to endure such grief. His father and I grew up together, I knew why he was the way he was. His parents both were addicts and we're in prison. Well tomy ( my son's father ) , continued the cycle. When our son, drake was born, tomy was in prison and it continued through drake's life. Tomy came home from his last stint in prison December 15 and was found dead Jan 20. Only had…See More
yesterday
morgan commented on joanne's blog post I want to go back
"Joanne, The refrain is so similar and familiar for all of us.  I was at Lowes tonight and I was picking up things for the job I am doing and the fellow who was helping me said I should be on a beach somewhere reading a book having a good time…"
yesterday

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