Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Alexis, Loved reading her book, after 5 years found this book more down to earth that the grief never goes away"
Sep 27
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Everyone, I just finished the book "It's OK that your're not OK by Megan Devine. It really helped me to realize that this forum is the only place I find where I can share my grief with others and not be criticized. I am so…"
Sep 27
Linda Engberg replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nicole, I would have to say after 5 years that the pain is easier to deal with. "
Sep 27
Linda Engberg replied to Beth Swansboro's discussion Lost my spouse in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Beth, So sorry for your loss. I lost my Husband 5 years ago and still have not come to grips with it. I still see my Psychiatrist every month and am on meds. They say with time you will feel better, but for me I feel worse as time goes by. I hate…"
Sep 25
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Sep 16
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I would have ended my life the day my Husband took his last breath, but the fear of not seeing him again because of my religious upbringing stops me and to this day I pray to God I don't wake up."
Sep 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, My only support going through the most horrible thing that ever happened to me is this forum. We all understand and I mean really understand how will our suffering knowing we will never be normal again. I too have decided that when I lose…"
Sep 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, My grief mirrors yours. Every morning I wake up and hate it that I didn't die in my sleep. The only thing that really keeps me going is my sweet dog Babie J, she is slowly nearing the end of her life and I am having to watch her fail…"
Sep 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Geri, I have a tshirt that has this statement on it."
Aug 31
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn, I live in Florida and live on the East Coast which I find is more expensive to live, when my Husband and I first looked we found the West Coast much cheaper but really crowded so we ended up in St. Augustine, Fl which now be coming very…"
Aug 30
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thanks for sharing this website."
Aug 27
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn and Monty I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J."
Aug 17
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Jeff, So sorry for your loss."
Aug 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Tomorrow is Nat'l Lighthouse Day, I will visit the St. Augustine Lighthouse where I have two pavers in his memory.We both loved Lighthouses and have walked many through our life together, now I walk alone."
Aug 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Beautiful picture of you both, he is very handsome, we are both still married."
Aug 5
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, What a picture picture of you both. Your Husband was very handsome  "
Aug 5

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About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 1:50am on July 30, 2017, Alice Thompson said…
Linda, I'm so glad Babie J is at least a little better. My heart goes out to you.
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

jen brown is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
4 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
14 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
yesterday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie forgive me if I screw this up but the line, "Don't cry for me, cause I live in eternity" runs through me head all the time."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie what a beautiful gift!!!!! That was Daniel, letting you know he's there. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Ginger I left all my sons pictures right where they were I need to see them. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been a while since I've checked in.  I'm actually melting down right now. Don't know what brought it on but can't seem to stop.  I miss everyone and think of all of you all the time.  Michael's…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, a few lost minutes cannot compete with a lifetime of love that you shared with your mom."
Friday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi there.  Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all. Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye.  She was in a…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"As Brett suggests, you sure can be griefstricken without feelings of guilt -- for me guilt doesn't seem relevant to my deep sadness about losing my mother.  It's more a combination of loneliness, shock, emptiness, disappointment…"
Thursday
David is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, me too, the only guilt I have is if I did not stop at her house for three minutes, I would have been there, but I was not. I say it everyday why did I do that..."
Thursday
Virginia G posted a blog post

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.See More
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, what is what’s app?  I don’t have a smart phone."
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The pain seems to get worse everyday.  I guess the numbness is starting to wear off.  I need God to listen to me.  I can’t live like this."
Thursday
M Adams posted a blog post

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen to…See More
Wednesday
M Adams left a comment for Daniella
"On the surface our situations could hardly be more different -- my mother just died, she was 84 years old and had numerous health problems the last five years -- but reading your words touched me, somehow I felt like they were my own, the…"
Wednesday

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