Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg and joe kelly are now friends
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe You still have a wedding anniversary. Just because she is in Heaven and you are on Earth you still celebrate it together. That is the way I think when I celebrate any key event that happened in our lives. The attached poem is why I believe."
Dec 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Now that almost 6 years have passed from losing my Beloved, Husband, Julian, I find myself not one bit better. Like you I have tried everything to go on this world. Each year finds me worse. I find that living in isolation with my sweet dog…"
Dec 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, I have the same issue you have. I do not function properly. My mind wanders all the time, I must have "widows grief too. Thanks for sharing, Linda"
Dec 2
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Thank you for giving me your input on the issue with my niece. Now I understand that my grief does not fall into the complicated grief group, as there will never be a new me. I was diagnosed by my doctor and psychiatrist with this type of…"
Nov 28
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks for sharing Joe & Monty. My Husband still lives in my mind and heart and he will forever until I join him. "
Nov 27
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Friends, I would like to get your input as to what complicated grief is. I have had it for over 6 years but my niece who lost her Husband feels all grief is complicated. I disagree with her because my Husband and I were true soulmates, we shared…"
Nov 26
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks to all of you for sharing you feelings, This forum is the only thing that keeps me going. I accept that I will never be any better than the day Julian died. It's the price to pay for love an a soulmate. I jut don't fit in the world…"
Nov 23
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is my 6th Thanksgiving without my Husband. I wish I could go away and hide somewhere. I will have to put on my Happy face for my guests and pretend I am alright. It is getting harder every year."
Nov 22
Linda Engberg and Virginia G are now friends
Nov 19
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
Nov 17
Linda Engberg shared Kristina Rose's photo on Facebook
Nov 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan and Trina, Thanks for the two beautiful posts. We are so lucky to have this forum.It is a place we can come to and not be judged by the world for the way we feel. This is the only support we have to make it through our daily lives. Thank…"
Nov 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jen, You hit the nail on the head that all people on this site didn't have the kind of love we had with our spouses. They were our soulmates and we were as one."
Nov 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi John, I still have the car my Husband and  bought in 2003. I keep it in tip top shape because it is still part of him and brings me comfort. After almost six years I still attend the annual workshop "Hope for the Holidays" given by…"
Nov 13
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, You are right about the U.S. culture, I am considered a weirdo because I haven't got over my Husband's death and I don't really care what they think. I think that they never had a love like my husband and I had. Thank God for…"
Nov 12

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About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 1:50am on July 30, 2017, Alice Thompson said…
Linda, I'm so glad Babie J is at least a little better. My heart goes out to you.
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
22 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
23 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
yesterday
morgan and joe kelly are now friends
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
yesterday
Profile IconCilvia and Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
Saturday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
Saturday
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So I have been really busy at work and with moving, but of course at night when I get in bed I cry and cry. I finally have come to realize this will be the new normal I guess, I do not think I will every stop missing my mom ever..."
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"Pamela Cancer is indeed a plague. Death from cancer is only part of the story. The journey from diagnosis to death is horrific and overwhelming. Even though cancer effects a lot of people, there are so many that just don't understand how…"
Friday
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Thursday

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