Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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  • Marjorie Willcox
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Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23, 2018.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I m sure everyone on our forum had a very bad day. I just kept myself very busy all. Since I live in Florida and it is in the 70's I worked outside all day long. I feel Julian is with when I am outside. He knew I just loved the outdoors…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, It is so true, my Julian and I celebrated everyday of our life together like you an Joseph. We were Blessed."
Thursday
Linda Engberg left a comment for Lisa
"Welcome to Online Grief Support it is a great community."
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks everyone. I was upset that we couldn't share our posts, now I am fine. Thanks"
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No Idea Joe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I didn't know that. I guess this will my last post. What a shame. I will now be without my support friends. Thanks to all for your support."
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Thank's for sharing. One phase that I hate is when people say " Julian wouldn't want you to be unhappy". What the hell do they know what Julian liked.  As you stated I now I now live in my my own universe."
Feb 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I talk about my Husband to my family and friends. If they don't like it, then don't talk to me. It's getting to the point where I don't care what they think. Just because most people did…"
Feb 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Monty, That you for sharing you thoughts with the me."
Feb 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Everyone, I am so glad I have this group o share my thoughts. Just recently it seems like I am losing support from my family. They don't call me as much anyone and rarely answer my posts on Facebook. I know the reason why. When I do talk…"
Feb 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Feb 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Everyone, I can relate to every ones post. I would sell my soul to the Devil if I could have him back in good health. I find that if I keep busy, the pain is not as bad. I run, do yard work and help my neighbors. I really don't need my…"
Feb 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again your post tells me what has exactly happened to me. No one will never understand what we are going through. The best way I can explain this others is if they listen to the song "Everyday" by Phil Collins. Today is…"
Feb 3
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thanks for your great explanation of this prayer. I have said it over and over since losing My Julian in 2013. I know I will never recover and don't want to. I know I can never change. All I want is for God to take me to him.  "
Feb 1

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About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 1:50am on July 30, 2017, Alice Thompson said…
Linda, I'm so glad Babie J is at least a little better. My heart goes out to you.
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

joe kelly replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Dear Jade, I wish I had some advice for you because when I sign in, I notice that you often sign in I guess to check if anything new has been posted.  Being lonely after losing your Love after so many years together is a major part of all who…"
12 hours ago
Holly Baldwin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
13 hours ago
Dennis C. and Virginia G are now friends
23 hours ago
Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
Saturday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, it gives me such a lift to hear about your new gig — sounds perfect! Lucky kids too, great when they can connect with an adult who also makes them laugh.   Your comment re the spirit world app that Avi came across brought back a…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, things like that scare the crap out of me. I mean, how do you know that you are actually communicating with your mom, and not something bad? I believe that you may open yourself to something that may attach itself to you. That's just…"
Friday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lisa
"Dear Lisa, I send you my heartfelt condolences as well as a welcome to our website. It is a safe place to come and talk or vent about your loss. Talking is very helpful in sorting out how to move forward. I would like to share a paragraph from what…"
Friday
P updated their profile
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No we should not, God is the only communicator Avi, you are right. We should not disturb the deceased, they are in peace, it is us who are not in peace. I still struggle everyday, I just have come to recognize that this is my new life.  "
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I m sure everyone on our forum had a very bad day. I just kept myself very busy all. Since I live in Florida and it is in the 70's I worked outside all day long. I feel Julian is with when I am outside. He knew I just loved the outdoors…"
Friday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Friends,  Few days back I came to know an app EquoVox which can help you communicate with your loved ones who are deceased. It seems be fake to me but have seen some videos on you tube people claiming its real. Did anybody on this group…"
Friday
Profile IconValerie Groh, diane, Lisa and 6 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday

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