All Blog Posts (2,541)


"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."


Added by M Adams on October 20, 2019 at 12:04am — 1 Comment

so lost andf confused

hello i am 30 years old and just have resentley lost my spouse/love of life/king two mounths agoo all of a sudden he was only 23 years old about a mounth before he passed we took a break for a reason i not wont to say but he did something now 12 hours before he dise he is on his hands and nees begging me back i say no and walk away for him to die i ooved him with everything i have and miss him so much and just dont now what to do i have peopletelling me they understand but i dont think they…


Added by heathert on July 3, 2019 at 11:34pm — No Comments

I'm trying to not blame my dad for my mom's death

My mother passed away last Thursday and my and I just had a newborn baby 2 months ago. My mother and my father are both alcoholics and addicts. They were both doing very badly physically and mentally and my mom was so sick that she wasn't able to drive anywhere in order to get alcohol and so my father would go and get stuff alcohol so that he could drink and she would feed her alcohol knowing that it was killing her. She would continuously fall down the stairs and hit her head and have to go to… Continue

Added by Lauren A Fernandez on July 2, 2019 at 1:42am — 1 Comment

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my mom's birthday. I wish I could spend it with her like I always do but I can't.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through this day or this life without her kindness and love.

Happy birthday my mama. I love you so much.

Added by Chris on June 12, 2019 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

The Numbness Continues.

Most days I feel not much of anything anymore. Numbness, sadness, loneliness but mostly numbness.

Added by Chris on June 11, 2019 at 11:21pm — 1 Comment

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.

I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.

Best, Kelli

Added by Kelli Auerbach on May 17, 2019 at 1:54pm — 1 Comment

Three Months

I guess there isn't much to say anymore. I miss him so much. He was like my brother and it feels weird and wrong and different. It's weird to think a year ago we were laughing and were so close. Its weird to think that someone who was once so beautiful and full of life is now rotting six feet underground in a wooden box. I'm not sure of my religious beliefs but I think I hope he's either moved onto the next life or has his own personal heaven with everyone he loved. I hope he has his…


Added by Zeena on May 13, 2019 at 8:30pm — 1 Comment

An Empty Canvas

 Today is different for me and yet it isn’t. During the night when I woke, I could feel sadness though it didn’t seem to be a focused sadness. It was just there. And then I ended up having what I think was something like a panic attack. We were prescribed a very weak dose of an antianxiety med by our doctor so I took one of those and was able to sleep at last!

But in a way, I just put off what I was feeling and so today is again a sad day. My…


Added by Charles Alexander on May 13, 2019 at 11:47am — No Comments

A birthday without our son

 This is the second thing I wrote in my journal a few days ago.

On this day that would have been our sons birthday, I find that I cannot celebrate his life quite yet because I’m still grieving him. It’s only been twelve days since he left us and at times it still feels like he’s here.

A brief flash in the corner of the eye that looks like him. The simple glance to his bedroom door…


Added by Charles Alexander on May 12, 2019 at 10:29pm — No Comments

Those first days

This is an entry that I wrote in my personal journal. I'm adding them to begin my blog.

Our son chose suicide in the early morning hours on Friday, April fifth of this year (2019). As is always the case in these situations, my wife and I have many questions. Many of those questions will never be answered, simply because Phil isn’t here to answer them. Of the others, I’m sure we’ll eventually figure out the answers.…


Added by Charles Alexander on May 11, 2019 at 7:17pm — 1 Comment

why do god let wong 1s die or sufferrr

i no iv askt stuff on off l hav for 7 yrs on hear on off sineses iv bean hear

why duze

got let gooodd gud pepplee suffr

wen u get bad pepplee it kill or hyrtt hurtt not suffr 1 bit in lifee suffrr 

gud peepplee i no suffr coz of god i ask why]

wen bad pepllee do bad stuff lk kill rapee  molestr  peppllee go free not be punchessd ty do not 

i get mad wen i hear kids died 

peplee it do no harmm 2 no 1 die bad detahtss deathss y thy do

Added by dream moon JO B on April 12, 2019 at 5:32pm — No Comments

When does the crying stop.

31 days and counting. Can't say his name without crying, can't talk about the death without crying, can't think about him without crying, can't write this without crying. I want it to stop.

Added by Anna-Marie on April 7, 2019 at 11:10am — 4 Comments

Bad behaviour

Recent postings on “I miss my mom” brought back memories of moments with my mom when I would get very anxious and frustrated, when I would raise my voice and so on.  My mom was very forgiving of me, and very understanding — she got how worried I was about her, especially but not exclusively during latter years of complex health issues, and she appreciated that I was trying my best to help.  She was grateful to me, and expressed gratitude, which was sometimes uncomfortable, but I was also so…


Added by M Adams on March 14, 2019 at 2:37pm — 1 Comment

Trying to move on

It's been almost 3 and a half years since I lost the love of my life. In that time, I moved my parents in with me, because I owed them so much. Last year, my 91 year old Pops told me"happy birthday" 6 days before my birthday and the day the docs were sending him to the nursing home.....the last thing he said to me. Now, my mom is terrified that she is going to die in the heart surgery that she has scheduled for Friday.  Hey, I'm terrified as well.  I did karaoke as a side line, because I…


Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 12, 2019 at 1:40am — No Comments


There are many mentions of guilt on this site, and it often seems to be assumed that all bereaved people suffer from guilt.  As far as I can tell that isn’t true for me, unless I am in very deep denial.  On the other hand, I feel a lot of shame about being bereaved, being alone, being tearful, distraught, unproductive, etc.  At the same time it seems ridiculous to be ashamed because someone beloved has died, and I haven’t seen other people reflect this feeling, so thought it was just my…


Added by M Adams on March 4, 2019 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Moving on?

I haven't posted here in awhile. The crushing grief that overwhelmed me for so long after my mom died has lifted into more of a grief fog. But some issues within my family have arisen over the past few days, and I'm having a really hard time. And my question is: Why the hell is everyone in such a hurry to "move on?" What is so terrible about being sad, about missing someone? Why is it "normal" to go on with your life like nothing happened, to forget about the past and keep moving forward?…


Added by Bethany on March 3, 2019 at 12:23pm — 1 Comment

still feal it

still feal it




feal it



but still

feal it



not#ateson seakinkin

i am not



Added by dream moon JO B on March 2, 2019 at 6:06pm — No Comments

Twitter box underneath "LATEST ACTIVITY" section

Some have inquired about the twitter box option at the top of the "Latest Activity" section. Apparently, it was an automatic update by Ning. Your privacy is still safe. It's an option for those who connect their personal account here and sync it with their personal twitter account.

If they choose to do so, they are able to share their OWN personal update on twitter by selecting that box before they share their personal update (and nobody else's) here. I hope this clears up any…


Added by Ninja on February 13, 2019 at 4:30pm — No Comments

Epictetus on Love and Loss

In the midst of what feels like unsurvivable loss, how do we moor ourselves to the fact that even the most beautiful, most singularly gratifying things in life are merely on loan from the universe, granted us for the time being?  Two millennia ago, the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus (c. 55–135 AD) argued that the antidote to this gutting grief is found not in hedging ourselves against prospective loss through artificial self-protections but, when loss…


Added by M Adams on February 3, 2019 at 8:06pm — No Comments

Should dignity be sought?

"Blessed is he, who has learned to bear what he cannot change, and to give up with dignity, what he cannot save." Friedrich Schiller

Added by M Adams on February 1, 2019 at 12:00am — No Comments

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jacq kramer is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
4 hours ago
Carol Klotz is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Maria replied to Melissa's discussion I am new here and hoping that I can talk to someone who lost a child to suicide
"Hello Melissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. My son took his own life on August 25th. He was 20 yers old and the pain is almost unbearable. He was a wonderful human being and I miss him every day."
Profile IconLani M., Gina, Maria and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Eileen replied to Melissa's discussion I am new here and hoping that I can talk to someone who lost a child to suicide
"Thank you !! Feels good knowing I have someone I can chat with and understands. Have a peaceful night."
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion I am new here and hoping that I can talk to someone who lost a child to suicide
"I’m sorry for your pain also!! I’m always here if you ever need to talk!! Your friend melissa"
Eileen replied to Melissa's discussion I am new here and hoping that I can talk to someone who lost a child to suicide
"Hello Melissa, never lost a child to suicide. However lost my mother, father and husband. So my heart goes out to you. Stay strong because it's not easy. Your friend Eileen."
Eileen posted a status
"Thanks for accepting me into the group. I am finding it very difficult to move forward so I decided to reach out for online support."
Eileen is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi to everyone,   I am sort of a broken record when it comes to how I have managed to cope with my husbands death.  I can honestly say that for the first four years looking back I was pretty much in a stupor.  The shock after sharing…"
Nov 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Fran, So sorry for your loss. It's been 7 years since I lost my Beloved Husband. I have and never will be the person I was. I have accepted that and just go through the motions. There are no good days for me. Since the day he died, I died…"
Nov 6
Fran commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"5 years ago tonite I lost my Love. Since then I check in here periodically to see how others deal with the passage of time. Apparently, pretty similarly. We do what we must. We have "good" days and worse days. Our memories blindside us yet…"
Nov 6
Terry k is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 6
Sand updated their profile
Nov 4
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jonathan, So sorry for the loss of your Wife. All the friends on this forum are just waiting to join their spouse again.  It's all we can do. "
Nov 4
Jonathan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It has been about 16 months since I lost my beloved wife. Still as painful as though she just "sleep in Christ" on 10th July 2018... Life has been aimless and without any objective since then. Everyday has been slow but to me, everyday…"
Nov 4
Kizzy Tinner is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Oct 29
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda,  I've been thinking about you wondering how Babie J is?  I just started feeding a feral cat here where I live on the woods and though I refuse to get too attached these little critters also get a piece of our heart.  I…"
Oct 28
Blythe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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