All Blog Posts (2,491)

Lost a great friend.

I recently received news that my best friend passed away from heroin laced with fentanyl at age 31 on jan 10th. I was in shock and felt like i was in a bad dream. I hadn't heard from him in almost 6 months and figured he was out slamming dope because in the past he would tend to avoid me and my mother (who was like a 2nd mom to him) because he didn't want us seeing him strung out and didn't want to ruin our relationship of trust. May 15th, i arrive home from a job interview and check…

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Added by Andrew on May 21, 2018 at 9:16pm — No Comments

NO MORE SICKNESS, SUFFERING, OR DEATH

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Added by Mike H. on May 2, 2018 at 6:47am — No Comments

Dirge without music -- Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned

With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.

Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,

A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is…

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Added by M Adams on May 1, 2018 at 8:50pm — 1 Comment

Post traumatic stress disorder

I am experiencing post traumatic stress disorder.  Some days I cry a lot, others not much.  I get upset when I don’t cry.  I feel as if I should be crying all day every day because the thing I feared the most my whole life happened.  How have I not had ten heart attacks by now?  Some days I have bad flashbacks of the hospital.  Other days I feel like I can’t process what happened.  Is my mind blocking what happened to protect me from the pain?  Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind.  Am I…

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Added by Virginia G on April 19, 2018 at 6:19am — 3 Comments

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on…

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on occasion. When friends talk about their adult daughters it brings to light the realization that I once had that and I don't anymore and the tears come. I guess when I'm not reminded,I want to still think she is here,only a phone call away. Already many things have changed, we used to talk on the…

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Added by Ginger on April 18, 2018 at 1:00pm — 1 Comment

Something is missing

I feel that a part of me is missing and I don't know what it is. I lost my only daughter to cancer 2 months ago,she was my best friend,she moved to FL with her husband and children but we talked on the phone every Mon. and Thurs. for hours. Before her passing,I was happy and didn't let things bother me,but now it seems like everything  bothers me especially the little things,and I have to force myself to be happy.

Added by Ginger on April 17, 2018 at 12:08pm — No Comments

This Pain is Horrible

They say time will heal the pain but I don't think that will ever happen. I am extremely torn to pieces over the death of my daddy. The pain and random outbursts of sadness is overwhelming. My dad was still young and we still had so much more life planned. I'm so angry of why my daddy had to leave so suddenly and without any warning. It's almost as if its not real. It doesn't feel real and I just want to see him again.

I'm a daddys girl. Everything I did in life I did knowing…

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Added by Sheri Boutte on April 9, 2018 at 10:49am — No Comments

How long can I last?

to all of who have suffered the loss of a spouse,

we have had to endure endless days and nights of immeasurable pain.  A pain that is indescribable to all but to those who are experiencing it.  A chasm so deep that there isn't anything that can fill the void left.

I have times. like I had from November through January, where the pain was so gut wrenching, so unbelievably torturous that I couldnt walk, talk eat or sleep for days at a time.  For this fifth year anniversary it was…

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Added by morgan on March 29, 2018 at 11:37pm — 5 Comments

Can't let go

On February 18,2018 my daughter passed away from cancer. She had been battling it for 5 yrs.and today its been one month that she took her last breath.It still doesn't seem real, I miss her every day, she lived in FL  with her children,grandchildren,and husband,we talked on the phone every Mon. & Thurs.for hours (she was my best friend). I flew down to FL when they  brought her to Hospice,as there was nothing more they could do for her,but to make her comfortable and I sat with her,as…

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Added by Ginger on March 18, 2018 at 3:30pm — 2 Comments

No normal days

    8 days 7 hours and 25 minutes ago I held my daughter as they turned off the machines and she slipped away. It's kind of a blur after that. Organ donations, funeral arraignments, getting her stuff from her apartment, people calling and coming by. So many people saying "if you need anything, just call." But what can they do, really? So much sadness and anger. Through all of it, I keep getting flashes of her face and body as they brought her out of the apartment. I knew when I saw her, blue…

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Added by joseph ty on March 16, 2018 at 1:45am — 1 Comment

So Alone

When does the pain and regret of all the things I coulda done and shoulda said go away? Why do I have to think of it literally every waking moment and even as soon as i wake up in the middle of the night simply because i have to pee and dream about it when I'm actually able to sleep. We were seperated for almost 2 years before he was killed so why does it hurt so bad now that he's gone? Why?.... because he was my best friend, because we still talked. All day. Every…

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Added by Renee Standridge on March 3, 2018 at 7:58pm — 3 Comments

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…

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Added by Jenni H on March 1, 2018 at 4:38pm — 1 Comment

It still hurts jus as much

Today marks 4 months since you left us, and things haven't got any easier!!! It still hurts everyday knowing that my love/ best friend is gone... 

Added by Raven Richardson on February 27, 2018 at 3:53pm — No Comments

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…

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Added by Jenni H on February 17, 2018 at 5:40pm — No Comments

I'm so hurt

I feel like my i have no support. I lost my bf and oct of 2017 and i lost my baby Nov 2017. I'm so hurt. I dont have anybody 2 talk 2. My bf family dont even check on me 2 make sure I'm ok. 

Added by Raven Richardson on February 15, 2018 at 11:37pm — 1 Comment

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find…

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Added by B.Windsor on February 14, 2018 at 8:34pm — No Comments

Loss

I wonder about all the losses I've had in my life I'm 35 and I've lost most of my family everyone that I was close to are gone now the hardest has been losing my bf he was my best friend I wish I could understand why and how I'm suppose to go on what's the purpose of losing everyone I loved and what is my purpose now in life

Added by Jo l on January 29, 2018 at 4:39pm — No Comments

one year and 8 months

This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with as it is for anyone who loses their loved ones. As we get older it is the one thing we can guarantee in this life that we will lose our closest relatives and friends. My first loss was when I was 20 and my grandfather passed away while I was living half way across the country but as hard as that was I got through it. It gave me the sense that I can be strong for my family but this time it's harder. One year, 8 months and…

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Added by Rebecca Clemens on January 23, 2018 at 12:49am — No Comments

Loss of my husband

My husband died 17 months ago of severe acute pancreatitis. He was perfectly well one day and the next day I had to drive him to hospital with severe gut pain.3 days later we were told there was nothing more they could do for him and we had to withdraw the life support. The enzymes of the pancreas destroys itself and the other surrounding organs. They said it was caused by drink but he only drank half a bottle of wine a night. The first few months I was 0.K. Then I crashed and had to be…

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Added by Marjorie Willcox on January 17, 2018 at 1:15pm — 9 Comments

Learning to live without my best friend

A little over 6 months ago I lost my husband of 43 years.  We were only 19 & 20 when we got married so we essentially grew up together.  He has been my best friend, my confidante, my love.  About 5 years ago he developed COPD so we knew our time together might be limited, however many people live several years with COPD by keeping it under control.  Unfortunately, last May, he developed a lung infection and was very sick, in the hospital for the first time in his 63 years.  But once…

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Added by Karen on January 16, 2018 at 8:33pm — No Comments

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was thinking about this today. If I could have my mom back for just one month I would dote on her till the cows came home. The truth is my mom wouldn't have liked that. She didn't like to be doted on. At the end she was very appreciative…"
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you for your post Brett. It not only will help Virginia, it is helping me too. Bluebell"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, our stories are very similar. I was my mom's caretaker as well. I was diagnosed with PTSD after she died. When we have PTSD we can turn just about everything into a worst case scenario. It is so easy to look back and question…"
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Virginia and welcome. May I ask when your dear Mom passed away? Bluebell"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And speaking of therapists, I have ptsd, and sometimes I feel like I don’t fully realize what happened.  I sort of get numb at times and feel guilty about it.  I asked my therapist if it means I don’t care about my Mom.…"
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, just joined the group.  Wanted to comment on Brett’s point about people getting tired of hearing about grief or not understanding it.  I feel like I want to talk about my Mom constantly, whether it’s good times or bad.…"
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Virginia G joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
21 hours ago
Andrew posted a blog post

Lost a great friend.

I recently received news that my best friend passed away from heroin laced with fentanyl at age 31 on jan 10th. I was in shock and felt like i was in a bad dream. I hadn't heard from him in almost 6 months and figured he was out slamming dope because in the past he would tend to avoid me and my mother (who was like a 2nd mom to him) because he didn't want us seeing him strung out and didn't want to ruin our relationship of trust. May 15th, i arrive home from a job interview and check facebook…See More
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morgan replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I want to let you know that everything you are feeling is normal even though it seems so difficult compared to what we thought we had and what we knew.  The death of our spouse is the most difficult thing we will ever face, bar none.…"
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Jen H replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Monty, I lost my husband New Year’s Eve and have a 4 year old. It is extraordinarily hard to put on the happy face, be everything she needs, keep productive at my job, keep the house going and all the other needs of life covered. Bless you…"
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monty thompson added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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My wife passed 5 days before christmas

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the last 2 years she had really declined both in her ability to look after herself, our boys, happiness and quality of life.i tried all i could to try and encourage her to be the best she could given her condition.   Unfortunately this was not enough to stave off a simple cold turning bad overnight and…See More
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Missy updated their profile
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CYBERSIS commented on Ginger's blog post No Title
"Really sorry for your loss. How awful to lose a child. I guess some people are really uncomfortable with grief and just don't know what to say.  I know exactly the loss you feel. I lost my mother in October. I saw her and talked to her…"
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That’s lovely, Linda."
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Beautiful, Linda! "
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oneindigheid updated their profile
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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