Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
“It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it. For if it has withdrawn, being merely beguiled by pleasures and preoccupations, it starts up again and from its very respite gains force to savage us. But the grief that has been conquered by reason is calmed for ever. I am not therefore going to prescribe for you those remedies which I know many people have used, that you divert or cheer yourself by a long or pleasant journey…
I wrote this poem many years ago when my mother and my second mother, my mother-in-law, were both dying of cancer. They died a week apart. It was helpful to me then and is helpful to me now. I hope it can be helpful for some of you.
Children of the Light
We are children of the light,
Each fracturing the light
Into his own incandescent dance of joy.
Blinded by our senses
We do not see the light that binds us.
Added by Miriam Holmes on February 8, 2020 at 5:28pm — No Comments
The widespread practice of a viewing of the body and wake at a funeral home is not helpful to me as it seems to be for so many people. But I do need to say goodbye formally, in a memorial service. As a person of faith, I prefer religious services; but some formal rite of farewell, some ritual recognition that a life has ended is still important, if the family is not religious. It has always been important to mankind, and it is important to me. My uncle wanted nothing, no service, no…Continue
Added by Miriam Holmes on February 4, 2020 at 9:12pm — No Comments
Edna St. Vincent Millay
If I could have
Two things in one:
The peace of the grave,
And the light of the sun;
My hands across
My thin breast-bone,
But aware of the moss
Invading the stone,
Aware of the flight
Of the golden flicker
With his wing to the light;
To hear him nicker
And drum with his bill
On the rotted…
Added by M Adams on February 4, 2020 at 11:06am — No Comments
An uncle in our family committed suicide. For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen. We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again. And after five years she was done and could move on. I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot.
It took a long time to develop my…Continue
This morning there was a crescent moon. I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon." I got all choked up seeing it. Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart. He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards. But no more. More tears to fight back. Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there. I have never had anyone else do that for me. I…Continue
Added by Miriam Holmes on January 22, 2020 at 7:14pm — No Comments
"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
— C. S. LEWIS
hello i am 30 years old and just have resentley lost my spouse/love of life/king two mounths agoo all of a sudden he was only 23 years old about a mounth before he passed we took a break for a reason i not wont to say but he did something now 12 hours before he dise he is on his hands and nees begging me back i say no and walk away for him to die i ooved him with everything i have and miss him so much and just dont now what to do i have peopletelling me they understand but i dont think they…Continue
Added by heathert on July 3, 2019 at 11:34pm — No Comments
Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.
I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.
I guess there isn't much to say anymore. I miss him so much. He was like my brother and it feels weird and wrong and different. It's weird to think a year ago we were laughing and were so close. Its weird to think that someone who was once so beautiful and full of life is now rotting six feet underground in a wooden box. I'm not sure of my religious beliefs but I think I hope he's either moved onto the next life or has his own personal heaven with everyone he loved. I hope he has his…Continue
Today is different for me and yet it isn’t. During the night when I woke, I could feel sadness though it didn’t seem to be a focused sadness. It was just there. And then I ended up having what I think was something like a panic attack. We were prescribed a very weak dose of an antianxiety med by our doctor so I took one of those and was able to sleep at last!
But in a way, I just put off what I was feeling and so today is again a sad day. My…Continue
Added by Charles Alexander on May 13, 2019 at 11:47am — No Comments
This is the second thing I wrote in my journal a few days ago.
On this day that would have been our sons birthday, I find that I cannot celebrate his life quite yet because I’m still grieving him. It’s only been twelve days since he left us and at times it still feels like he’s here.
A brief flash in the corner of the eye that looks like him. The simple glance to his bedroom door…Continue
Added by Charles Alexander on May 12, 2019 at 10:29pm — No Comments
This is an entry that I wrote in my personal journal. I'm adding them to begin my blog.
Our son chose suicide in the early morning hours on Friday, April fifth of this year (2019). As is always the case in these situations, my wife and I have many questions. Many of those questions will never be answered, simply because Phil isn’t here to answer them. Of the others, I’m sure we’ll eventually figure out the answers.…Continue
i no iv askt stuff on off l hav for 7 yrs on hear on off sineses iv bean hear
got let gooodd gud pepplee suffr
wen u get bad pepplee it kill or hyrtt hurtt not suffr 1 bit in lifee suffrr
gud peepplee i no suffr coz of god i ask why]
wen bad pepllee do bad stuff lk kill rapee molestr peppllee go free not be punchessd ty do not
i get mad wen i hear kids died
peplee it do no harmm 2 no 1 die bad detahtss deathss y thy do
Added by dream moon JO B on April 12, 2019 at 5:32pm — No Comments
31 days and counting. Can't say his name without crying, can't talk about the death without crying, can't think about him without crying, can't write this without crying. I want it to stop.
Recent postings on “I miss my mom” brought back memories of moments with my mom when I would get very anxious and frustrated, when I would raise my voice and so on. My mom was very forgiving of me, and very understanding — she got how worried I was about her, especially but not exclusively during latter years of complex health issues, and she appreciated that I was trying my best to help. She was grateful to me, and expressed gratitude, which was sometimes uncomfortable, but I was also so…Continue
It's been almost 3 and a half years since I lost the love of my life. In that time, I moved my parents in with me, because I owed them so much. Last year, my 91 year old Pops told me"happy birthday" 6 days before my birthday and the day the docs were sending him to the nursing home.....the last thing he said to me. Now, my mom is terrified that she is going to die in the heart surgery that she has scheduled for Friday. Hey, I'm terrified as well. I did karaoke as a side line, because I…Continue
Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 12, 2019 at 1:40am — No Comments