All Blog Posts (2,531)

Bad behaviour

Recent postings on “I miss my mom” brought back memories of moments with my mom when I would get very anxious and frustrated, when I would raise my voice and so on.  My mom was very forgiving of me, and very understanding — she got how worried I was about her, especially but not exclusively during latter years of complex health issues, and she appreciated that I was trying my best to help.  She was grateful to me, and expressed gratitude, which was sometimes uncomfortable, but I was also so…

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Added by M Adams on March 14, 2019 at 2:37pm — 1 Comment

Trying to move on

It's been almost 3 and a half years since I lost the love of my life. In that time, I moved my parents in with me, because I owed them so much. Last year, my 91 year old Pops told me"happy birthday" 6 days before my birthday and the day the docs were sending him to the nursing home.....the last thing he said to me. Now, my mom is terrified that she is going to die in the heart surgery that she has scheduled for Friday.  Hey, I'm terrified as well.  I did karaoke as a side line, because I…

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Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 12, 2019 at 1:40am — No Comments

Shame

There are many mentions of guilt on this site, and it often seems to be assumed that all bereaved people suffer from guilt.  As far as I can tell that isn’t true for me, unless I am in very deep denial.  On the other hand, I feel a lot of shame about being bereaved, being alone, being tearful, distraught, unproductive, etc.  At the same time it seems ridiculous to be ashamed because someone beloved has died, and I haven’t seen other people reflect this feeling, so thought it was just my…

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Added by M Adams on March 4, 2019 at 2:52pm — 1 Comment

Moving on?

I haven't posted here in awhile. The crushing grief that overwhelmed me for so long after my mom died has lifted into more of a grief fog. But some issues within my family have arisen over the past few days, and I'm having a really hard time. And my question is: Why the hell is everyone in such a hurry to "move on?" What is so terrible about being sad, about missing someone? Why is it "normal" to go on with your life like nothing happened, to forget about the past and keep moving forward?…

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Added by Bethany on March 3, 2019 at 12:23pm — 1 Comment

still feal it

still feal it

7

yrs

still

feal it

died

3.3.12

but still

feal it

i

am

not#ateson seakinkin

i am not

i…

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Added by dream moon JO B on March 2, 2019 at 6:06pm — No Comments

Twitter box underneath "LATEST ACTIVITY" section

Some have inquired about the twitter box option at the top of the "Latest Activity" section. Apparently, it was an automatic update by Ning. Your privacy is still safe. It's an option for those who connect their personal account here and sync it with their personal twitter account.

If they choose to do so, they are able to share their OWN personal update on twitter by selecting that box before they share their personal update (and nobody else's) here. I hope this clears up any…

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Added by Ninja on February 13, 2019 at 4:30pm — No Comments

Epictetus on Love and Loss

In the midst of what feels like unsurvivable loss, how do we moor ourselves to the fact that even the most beautiful, most singularly gratifying things in life are merely on loan from the universe, granted us for the time being?  Two millennia ago, the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus (c. 55–135 AD) argued that the antidote to this gutting grief is found not in hedging ourselves against prospective loss through artificial self-protections but, when loss…

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Added by M Adams on February 3, 2019 at 8:06pm — No Comments

Should dignity be sought?

"Blessed is he, who has learned to bear what he cannot change, and to give up with dignity, what he cannot save." Friedrich Schiller

Added by M Adams on February 1, 2019 at 12:00am — No Comments

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.

Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.

Added by M Adams on January 20, 2019 at 11:07pm — 1 Comment

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

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Added by Pamela philipp on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am — No Comments

The Gardener by Patricia Hooper

The Gardener

Since the phlox are dying 



and the daisies with their bright bodies



have shattered in the wind,



I go out among these last dancers,

cutting to the…
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Added by M Adams on December 11, 2018 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Strategies for feeling better -- sound reasonable

[These recommendations from psychiatrist/tv personality Dr Amen came via this morning's e-mail -- despite the 'celebrity doctor' context and the rather directional tone, they seem worth consideration, at least I basically agree with them, and am trying to implement them -- will paste below in case they are of potential interest to others on this site.]

***********

There is a saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go…

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Added by M Adams on November 21, 2018 at 10:08pm — No Comments

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Added by Pamela philipp on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

Who copes best with loss? Men or women?

In Jane Austen's novel Persuasion, Captain Harville and Anne Elliot, surprised by a bereaved friend's intention to remarry, debate who loves longer, men or women, and how they weather loss of love.

**************

... with a quivering lip [Captain Harville] wound up

the whole by adding, "Poor Fanny! she would not have forgotten him so soon!"

"No," replied Anne, in a low, feeling voice. "That I can easily believe."

"It was not in her nature. She doted…

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Added by M Adams on November 7, 2018 at 3:30pm — 1 Comment

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.

Added by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 2:12am — 1 Comment

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen…

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Added by M Adams on October 10, 2018 at 4:37pm — No Comments

To my mum

There will never be a day where I don’t think about you, there could be weeks where it doesn’t cripple me that you’ve gone then all of a sudden it’s like a bus has hit me And it’s like that morning all over again. There’s no pain like this. It’s like someone’s pulled the curtains on your life it’s over now you’ve got to make a new one with no reason as to why or how to do it. The people that you thought would come and show you what to do or be there are no where to be seen…

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Added by Daniella on October 10, 2018 at 4:51am — No Comments

What happens when a person dies?

The pain of losing a loved one in death is unlike any other. What tends to add to the grief is the unknown. What happens when a person dies? I find comfort in a Holy writing that states, “the dead know nothing at all”. (Ecc. 9:5) If the dead know nothing, how can they suffer?

 

I rest my hope on such a…

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Added by Mike H. on September 29, 2018 at 7:37am — 1 Comment

Brief on Grief

Hi beautiful people,



I lost my father last year, a few months before starting my Masters in Innovation & Future Technologies.

I have used his loss as a source of inspiration for my project, and will really appreciate your participation.



Below is a link to my survey (which, is not very long):

https://goo.gl/forms/Qw74fKCXAKHtwXXk2



All information will remain confidential and will only be used for…

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Added by Alex on September 25, 2018 at 7:31am — No Comments

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  A…

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  All I could do was cry, and tell her I was going to miss her.  She told me to stop. I decided to take my leave from work as soon as I could, told her I was going into work to do that.  And I did.  But she did not wait for me.  She died the next morning, and I did not make it there in…

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Added by Lia Lynch on September 16, 2018 at 5:52am — 1 Comment

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dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
5 hours ago
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
yesterday
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
yesterday
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"How do you guys have your settings?  I didn't have a problem before a couple of days ago."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can.  I sent a message to ninja  to check if I have a setting wrong.  I have pics to be seen by friends set.  I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"She was sent to save me.  There was a fate of that.  Too many coincidences to be otherwise.  I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship.  We both moved to a…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Wednesday
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Tuesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Tuesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"WOW, that's great! "
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Tuesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in a constant state of paralysis.  I seem only to be able to do things when I know I have to.  Simple things go undone.  Dust builds up on my bedroom furniture.  I look at it and say to myself, I should dust.  But…"
Tuesday

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