It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am not

Because the people should be here it's no longer here

So I found myself headed back to the GriefShare support group last Monday.  I was actually considering stopping my attending. Not because anything has been solved or fixed or resolved, but because things had settled down, and my problems have moved onto other issues.  Then on a random scroll down Facebook lane, I see a posting from Jen's sister, Dallas, that her oldest daughter, Brooklyn, had been killed in Omaha a few days past. This tore me up. This family has endured more pain than any…

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...

Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident,…

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23^rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.

That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential…

   This is my first post....i just was accepted here...and there are tears in my eyes as i write this.  Im struggling and just gonna ramble here...as writing is cathartic to me.  March is NOT a good month, March n September.  Lost mother, father n only sibling in March.....and they were all born within of each other  in September....all  Virgos.  I often wonder why i am still here...

Then i think about it.....i have one daughter and we lost her dad, my hubs of 42 yrs in 2017...she was…

Several years ago therapists #1 and #3 each suggested a writing assignment.  Journal what life would look and feel like had Jen’s accident not happened.  At first the suggestion sounded intriguing, I love writing and find it therapeutic.  After some reflection though, I declined.  There were too many iterations (especially considering the infinite universe theory) and what makes me think that the rosy-colored, cherry-picked version that I focus on would have ever happened?  So many ways…

Having a rough time.  Lost my Mom late June.  Looking for a virtual grieving group meeting?

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Paula

I (intellectually) know that grief cycles, ups and downs, yet I still let myself fall into the thinking that I was somehow getting 'better'.  Memories and thoughts were decreasing in their intensity and frequency.  Even had a couple days in December without thoughts of Jen popping into my mind.  The emotions that followed were not so gut wrenching.  Dreams were absent of her (sometimes even despite requesting she appear).

Then the turn of the year and a completely new dream…

I keep thinking I need to call and check on my mom. I called her every day for so many years, at least once a day. Visited with her, did her shopping, or took her shopping or to a doctor's appointment almost every week and I just keep thinking I need to check on her. Then I remember....

In 2018, (one week before Easter), Jeremy took me to a small town outside of Austin called, Brady, Texas. The reason for this trip? Seeing Mamma Beth (daddy's sister; my aunt) for the first time in 34 years. She'd asked me to help her heal a weird infection below her belt, and under her belly where she couldn't reach to take care of it herself.

The moment we saw each other, I went into her arms, and she held me for 5 minutes before Jeremy and I even walked through the apartment door.…

I know that when you look at the things I’ve posted here that, there are not many posts about Jeremy or any of the other five loved ones I lost in that 2 year period of time. There’s an explanation for that, and I’m going to let y’all know what’s going on with that.

Growing up, my parents did not tell me certain things about life, for example, Jeremy had to explain to me how to know when my bowels were finished moving, but that should’ve come from my…

In my lifetime, I've heard it said that, "A person doesn't love you if they only say, 'I love you' when you're having sex.

Now, my question is:

Why is that?

Technically speaking, there are less than 3 months left until we've been together for 2 years, and it's sad to see the changes that have been made. The one that upsets me the most? The situation with your dog. When I first got to your apartment, you could not stand that Chihuahua, Gigi. Now, she gets an 'Good morning' from you, she gets a kiss on her head from you, and you tell her, 'I love you, my pupper-dog'. You treat the dog better than your own girlfriend.

Jeremy and I are soulmates, no matter if he's living or waiting for me in the afterlife, I have no doubts about that, but I'd like to know is: Will our souls know each other once mine has moved onto the afterlife? I know that everyone has different beliefs on many different aspects of life, but for the most part, when it comes to the subject of 'soulmates' I've found that most everyone I've met, feels the same way about the topic. What do you believe? How do you think soulmates who have…

If someone could tell me about starting groups here, I'd greatly appreciate it because I want to create one, myself.

Joe,

I was told to copy the address from the browser while on my profile page on Wikacy, and you'd be able to find tabs that will lead you to my stories. I hope this works, please, check out the link below, and let me know if you were able to use it. Thanks in advance.

https://wikacy.com/members/iozegxuuu3bj5vm77cih4stkwbh2/profile/

This coming Friday, August 5, 2022, I'll be turning yet another year older (44), and you would think that, as time goes by living without you by my side, would get easier; however, it hasn't gotten any easier for me, at all. I miss you, Jeremy James, with every single day that goes by.

The entire first year after you passed, all I wanted to do was die, but I'm still here without…

Hello, my name is Penny Caywood, but call me Pennywyze, please. The reason I've sought out support online for my grieving is because I've literally got no one to talk with about the things I'm going through. I mean, I've got a boyfriend, Steven who lost his wife 2 days after Jeremy's benefit in 2019, but I don't dare talk about my soulmate and best friend to my old man. However, he has been repeating the same stories from his past for the last 18 months since we've been together,…

Suicide, I’ve found, is not like any other kind of death. My best friend did this…I guess she just couldn’t hang on anymore. How could I have missed this? Im so sorry. Sometimes I forget & think maybe it was a dream. Did she REALLY die? Why hasn’t she called?