All Blog Posts (2,529)

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

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Added by Pamela philipp on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am — No Comments

The Gardener by Patricia Hooper

The Gardener

Since the phlox are dying 



and the daisies with their bright bodies



have shattered in the wind,



I go out among these last dancers,

cutting to the…
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Added by M Adams on December 11, 2018 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Strategies for feeling better -- sound reasonable

[These recommendations from psychiatrist/tv personality Dr Amen came via this morning's e-mail -- despite the 'celebrity doctor' context and the rather directional tone, they seem worth consideration, at least I basically agree with them, and am trying to implement them -- will paste below in case they are of potential interest to others on this site.]

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There is a saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go…

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Added by M Adams on November 21, 2018 at 10:08pm — No Comments

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Added by Pamela philipp on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

Who copes best with loss? Men or women?

In Jane Austen's novel Persuasion, Captain Harville and Anne Elliot, surprised by a bereaved friend's intention to remarry, debate who loves longer, men or women, and how they weather loss of love.

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... with a quivering lip [Captain Harville] wound up

the whole by adding, "Poor Fanny! she would not have forgotten him so soon!"

"No," replied Anne, in a low, feeling voice. "That I can easily believe."

"It was not in her nature. She doted…

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Added by M Adams on November 7, 2018 at 3:30pm — No Comments

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.

Added by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 2:12am — 1 Comment

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen…

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Added by M Adams on October 10, 2018 at 4:37pm — No Comments

To my mum

There will never be a day where I don’t think about you, there could be weeks where it doesn’t cripple me that you’ve gone then all of a sudden it’s like a bus has hit me And it’s like that morning all over again. There’s no pain like this. It’s like someone’s pulled the curtains on your life it’s over now you’ve got to make a new one with no reason as to why or how to do it. The people that you thought would come and show you what to do or be there are no where to be seen…

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Added by Daniella on October 10, 2018 at 4:51am — No Comments

What happens when a person dies?

The pain of losing a loved one in death is unlike any other. What tends to add to the grief is the unknown. What happens when a person dies? I find comfort in a Holy writing that states, “the dead know nothing at all”. (Ecc. 9:5) If the dead know nothing, how can they suffer?

 

I rest my hope on such a…

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Added by Mike H. on September 29, 2018 at 7:37am — 1 Comment

Brief on Grief

Hi beautiful people,



I lost my father last year, a few months before starting my Masters in Innovation & Future Technologies.

I have used his loss as a source of inspiration for my project, and will really appreciate your participation.



Below is a link to my survey (which, is not very long):

https://goo.gl/forms/Qw74fKCXAKHtwXXk2



All information will remain confidential and will only be used for…

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Added by Alex on September 25, 2018 at 7:31am — No Comments

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  A…

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  All I could do was cry, and tell her I was going to miss her.  She told me to stop. I decided to take my leave from work as soon as I could, told her I was going into work to do that.  And I did.  But she did not wait for me.  She died the next morning, and I did not make it there in…

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Added by Lia Lynch on September 16, 2018 at 5:52am — No Comments

Is there a chance to see my dead loved ones again?

Well, I sure hope so. What a joy it would be to see them again. It would take a miracle, but is this possible? The Scriptures speak of a resurrection of the dead (John 5: 28,29). There are also nine Scriptural examples of people rising from the dead.* I hold on to the hope of one day seeing them again!

*1 Kings 17:17-24; 2 Kings 4:32-37; 13:20, 21; Matthew 28:5-7; Luke 7:11-17; 8:40-56; John 11:39-43; Acts 9:36-42; and 20:7-12.

Added by Mike H. on September 15, 2018 at 8:00am — 1 Comment

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

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Added by Pamela philipp on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Are my loved ones suffering after death?

After the death of a loved one, I always wondered were they suffering after death. It is interesting to note that the Holy writings state "the dead know nothing at all" (Ec. 9:5) It is comforting to know that my dead loved ones are not suffering and for that matter, cannot cause any suffering. This Scriptural teaching has provided so much relief for me and many others.

Added by Mike H. on September 9, 2018 at 8:31am — No Comments

More than one kind of leaving

“I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.”



― Dorothy B. Hughes, In a Lonely Place

For a long time after my husband died, I couldn't read.  Before the ability to focus that way came back, I found that certain phrases and passages that I'd encountered long ago were appearing in my mind and sticking there, and that continues to happen, though I am able to do a certain amount of reading now.  Many of the phrases…

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Added by M Adams on September 5, 2018 at 2:18pm — No Comments

Receiving and Providing Support

As with many people, when I lose a loved one in death I seek support. Rightfully so, the death of a loved can be the most difficult time of a person's life. I also would like to take this opportunity to relay to others the same support I received. This support may provide comfort for others as it did for me. When a person dies, the questions that come to my mind are:

  1. Are my loved ones suffering after death?
  2. Is there a chance to see my dead loved ones…
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Added by Mike H. on September 1, 2018 at 6:18am — No Comments

One Breath at a Time

I have the big hurt right now. I keep expecting him to log onto Facebook and send me a message. Or a text. Or something that would symbolize that he is here. And then I remember that he isn’t. That the last text or IM I will ever receive is from August 12. That there was no tomorrow for him. Just me. And everyone that liked or loved him. 

And it bothers me so much knowing he isn’t going to respond. He isn’t going to reach out. He can’t. That I just can’t wrap my brain around…

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Added by Amber on August 29, 2018 at 6:53pm — No Comments

I Don’t Know How

I lost my lifemate 15 days ago. We viewed the body and have had the memorial. We were given ashes that were split up between his children, his sister, myself and two friends. I couldn’t function yesterday at all and the weekend was bad too. I don’t know how to figure out this grieving process. This isn’t the first person I have lost. It is the first person that I was in love with and had plans with. 

As part of a tribute to him, I am buying him a headstone and burying some of…

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Added by Amber on August 28, 2018 at 1:35pm — 1 Comment

Hopefully Good News....

Do You Love Cats? I am just wondering if this might be of interest to anyone here, as I took in a beautiful black kitty with the…
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Added by Cynthia R Fuhrman on August 26, 2018 at 6:23pm — No Comments

"There Is No Other Bond Like The Bond Of A Daddy & Daughter... Heaven & Earth Separate Us For Now But A Bond Like Ours Is Unbroken, Always Showing Me He's Here..."

​​Hello, My name is Amanda, I actually came across this page literally by accident however I have a strong feeling it "wasn't accidental" I was actually looking for information about "signs" from loved ones because every time I am outside a dragonfly appears and just hovers around until I go back inside, at first I didn't think much of it but here recently I began really noticing the pattern and it's honestly every time I am outside at my home (many times throughout the day) so I decided to…

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Added by Amanda Stout on August 21, 2018 at 8:47am — 3 Comments

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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
1 hour ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
4 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
18 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday

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