My wife died last year in May she got so bad in the hospital and would have lived a miserable life after what the hospital did to her that I had the breathing tube removed .For a whole year I was numb to the fact she passed away. In the past few months memories of her dying in the hospital come flooding back,with an increase in weight from eating the wrong food. I find I loved her a lot, but during the marriage it can be described as dysfuctional as well as two people caring for each other.…

it realey anoys me wen i go to funrellss wen peple dont switch off threr cell fones it dose thy cud least switch it off for a bit

i woz at a funrell yday a few plele wear leting thr fones ring thy cud easy turn it off for a bit

i neaded to screame an shout abot it

Can’t find any words 

No photos to take

Inspiration gone

My half full glass has got a break

Lost within myself 

A hollow shell

Am I dreaming or awake

I just can’t tell

Lost within myself

Never to return

I can believe hes gone

Its like a constant burn

This pain just never seems to…

Mommy! 

Happy Mothers' Day. I miss you so much today. The sadness I am feeling lately has even taken over me physically. I find it difficult to eat, sleep, and socialize. I really just wanna break down and cry today but for some reason I just won't let myself. I don't wanna feel helpless and in pain. So I have been trying to escape my emotions with drinking and smoking. I know you wouldn't be happy about this. You must be very…

dose any 1 else go in to a room adn thnk thy hav saw ther lovd 1s siting it the table in the kitchn reding a paper  or go in to th livin room or sea thm watchng tv

or sea thm warking arond th house tht u get uo to go folor thm coz u thng u r gong krazy…

Before life happens and memory fails,

pieces of you here I'll state.

To you, the beauty that bore me life,

I'll never forget, you'll never fade.

- she calls me precious

- she loves Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza and made it our staple celebration treat for birthdays, anniversaries etc.

- she adored Barbara Streisand

- she had a crush on Robert Redford

- her best love advice is: Be with a guy that would treat you like a princess…

Mother’s day * Words For You Mom…

I am ready to give up. I miss my family and with mother's day tomorrow, it will be hard on my mom for it will be 2 months since her mom, my grandmother passed away. All I want for mother's day is to be with my kids and my mom. I have not seen my mom in 4 years cause I can't afford to go home and if i even talk about my family I get yelled at. I am in a bad relationship, I thought I was ready but know that I am not for I still miss my husband. But this person I am with is very controlling. I…

Lonely is the home without you,

Life to us is not the same,

All the world would be like heaven, If we could have you back again.

A light is from our household gone,

A voice we loved…

I have been depressed all through this process since my daughter, Sara, first was in a coma.  Now that she has passed I haven't been feeling much of anything. I am starting to go into a deep depression and wanting to get out.  I feel darkness looming all of the time.  This just started a few day ago.  Her memorial isn't for another week but I feel I shouldn't feel this depressed as I have gone through all of the stages of mourning in the past 4 months since the coma insued. I thought I was…

On May 4th of this year, it was the 30th anniversary of my dad's passing. I lost him when I was a  rebellious, vulnerable individual, lost somewhere between child and adulthood. He'd been sick with a very aggressive form of cancer. He did not tell me. When I look back now, the signs were there, but he did put on a good front. I can't imagine what his wife went through, knowing this, but not letting on to his kids.

I remember going to my apartment and a neighbor saying that the…

It all started back on March  8, 2009, when my husband passed away and I found him. He and our daughter had just gotten in early that morning from a trip to NY to deliver a travel trailer for work. Our daughter and grand-daughter who was only 1 month and 2 days old were still sleeping. My husband, Gene and I were up talking and spending time together before he had to leave later in the evening for another trip out west. We had talked and loved on each other and then he went out to work on…

this wil be the 1st holiday without my son. it will be 2 month on the14 that he passed away. It has already started to hurt. it will also be 30 yrs since my mom died. i'm always  alone on holidays and it just make i  t worse this yr. I feel like im so alone. None of my family has lost a child an they don't understand the pain that i'm going through. it just doesn't go away over night. my other son isdoing the man thing where they try and be  stong and do not want to talk about…

A very special friend died this past May. After sharing several chapters from the book "Gentle Closings -- How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love" with her, I chose to include one of those chapters in her eulogy at her memorial service. We all have special remembrances of our friends and family members. This just reminds us to embrace and celebrate…

I feel so useless..... I can't help anyone with anything even though I want to .. I want to help everyone else who is feeling so much damn pain yet I am so much in pain myself that I feel numb to it most of the time now... then all of a sudden "it" reaches into the depths of my soul and pulls.  I've been trying for months to keep the "I'm fine" thing going and I seem to have it mastered most of the time.  I have so much to say yet when I go to type it here I always end up deleting my words…

I hurt so badly inside.. I want to write in the groups I have joined here but as I read others comments I find that I feel guilty about feeling bad about the loss of my son, my beautiful son.  Its been 31 months since he was killed in a horrific car accident, I have three daughters that are my reason for not giving in to this hurt.  They are getting older, as Damn TIME keeps going even though I feel like I am standing still.  I have had to be stronger than ever in my life these 31 months...…

Mom, I have been reading about life and death. I know that we are supposed to be much more that our bodies, that death means to leave the body and cross to that place, where we see our true selves and are able to understand things much more clearly than we could here on Earth.

 So, I know that you are there, somewhere. But I can't reach you. I can't feel you. I don't know if you hear me when I call you. I'm still in this world and I don't understand. At some point I'll join you, and…

Sincerely, Celena D.

Dear Sgt. Chabot ,

So many words I want to say 

So many I could only say them this way

I want to thank you for all your help

I recognize this was truly hard on your own self 

Thank you for being so kind 

As to not let Austin feel left behind

For being there when I couldn’t be

For comforting him for me 

Thank you for holding his hand 

While he took his last breath, his last stand

My baby…

So, I'm a big dreamer. I have dreams almost every night and up until my sister died, I always had pretty normal dreams. Right after my sister died I dreamed about her a lot. Some were good dreams, remembering things from when we were younger. Some were really bad dreams.

The one that I remember so vividly felt more like an 'out-of-body' experience than a dream.

I dreamt that I was in her apartment with her the night that her boyfriend killed her. She was holding my hand and…