All Blog Posts (2,312)

Anniversary Dates

Last night was tough....very tough.  2 years ago, I thought he was going to die then. It was an emotional month while he was in ICU and step down.  But, it was the same date (5 months ago) that he went to his peace and I went here.  Today was not good either...especially when my mom realized what yesterday was and facebook showed a memory of him last year...almost healthy.  Some one said that the dates are hard, but it gets more routine.

There are times that I  wonder if I was too…


Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 22, 2017 at 6:15pm — No Comments

I miss my dad so much

My father died of a stroke in January. I am still devastated as he was the best person I ever met and I just loved him so much. I have stopped interacting with people once I leave work. I was never very social and now I just want to be alone or with cats. I come home, overeat on unhealthy food and get into the bed with my cat by 9p.

Added by Ann on March 21, 2017 at 6:51pm — No Comments

I don't know what to title this

Tomorrow is that day....that horrible day when everything started to go to crap.  When he quit cooking for our riders, he went on a memorial run for a friend of ours that got in an accident the year before....the day that he got into his accident....and died in the ambulance.....I saw the chopper set down, and an acquaintance of mine ran out as the paramedic...and I yelled at him..."That's my hunny in there!  PLEASE take care of him!"....That was 2 years ago.    Yes, I got him for an extra…


Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 20, 2017 at 10:30pm — No Comments

Typical responses associated with Grief

  • Reduced concentration
  • A sense of numbness
  • Disrupted sleeping patterns
  • Changed eating habits
  • Emotional Roller coaster

Added by Diana, Grief Counselor on March 20, 2017 at 2:21pm — 1 Comment

Feels like I killed my Mother.

Hi everyone, I'm posting this from Sweden so please excuse my sometimes broken English..

I live everyday with a terrible burden of guilt for the way my Mom passed.

Here's my 2013 my beloved Mother passed away suffering from pneumonia.

She lived in a nursing home since a second stroke paralized her in 1998.

The last night I was sitting by her bedside for some hours watching her breathe very hard and fast, no pauses.

She was totally awake and alerte and the… Continue

Added by Karin on March 19, 2017 at 4:31pm — 5 Comments

My Valentine

It's been one month that I lost my soulmate on Valentine's Day.  

This has been surreal, because it's like he just disappeared.  Living without him is becoming unbearable.

My love, I'm trying and I want to be strong, but I miss you so much. 

Added by Jewels on March 19, 2017 at 12:57pm — 2 Comments

From the Heart

Remembering back to the day she died is like a brilliant flash of light. Barb died of a massive heart attack brought on by complications from Type 2 diabetes. To me, diabetes is a very …


Added by Mike on March 18, 2017 at 2:10pm — No Comments


Maybe I'm strange. I enjoy my memories.  Granted, it's tough and time is making it a little easier, but I think that it is only because I am learning how to "behave" when I remember.  I felt extremely lucky to have my hunny for the extra year and a half that I got. He died in the ambulance at his accident and if his C1 had chipped 1 mm the other way, he would've died or been paralyzed. Even though that year and a half was hard--I was caregiver for 5 months while he grew in strength and…


Added by Kathleen Jordan on March 17, 2017 at 9:36pm — No Comments

Talking to people about my loss & grief helps me

It's been a month since my partner passed away. I found that talking to people helped me. Today, my Airbnb host gave me an insight that I haven't thought about before we had this conversation. He said that everyone eventually passes away. That is the natural course of life. It is the untimely death of the person that makes it harder to accept this reality. My partner was 40 years old when he passed away. I had many plans before he had cancer. In my mind, we will grow old together. In my…


Added by cin po on March 15, 2017 at 1:00pm — 6 Comments

Letter to you; my other half in heaven

It's been a month but I still vividly remember the day you were gone

I try so hard to accept this painful reality

In a room of emptiness I wishpered slowly: "I could have done more, I should have done more..."

I'm drowning in this ocean full of regrets and guilts

My heart is broken now that you; part of me, is gone forever

Wonder will I ever be whole again

People say time will heal but the pain of losing you is unbearable

They say I've got to… Continue

Added by Valentina Jolley on March 14, 2017 at 6:14pm — 3 Comments

Psalm 121 , the grief prayer.

Psalm 121New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 121

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.

I look up to the mountains—…


Added by Jennifer on March 12, 2017 at 5:02pm — No Comments

Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?

Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?

Are you between the ages of 18-64? If so, researchers from the University of Illinois are interested in hearing your story. We are conducting interviews with individuals who have recently lost a spouse. Interested participants will engage in an audio-recorded interview about their experiences with loss. Interviews will take approximately 45–90 minutes and will remain confidential. Participants who are U.S. citizens,…


Added by Diana, Grief Counselor on March 12, 2017 at 4:30pm — No Comments

Panic attacks

Their are so many stages of grief, I have lost times the amount of times I have gone through them all, this time is different, I'm getting severe panic attacks. Throughout the loss of my father I was also going to a 4 yr relationship with an extremely abusive partner, it took every last bit of strength to leave. I had a full time job as a head chef and I was financially independent. In dec 2016 I lost my job, I was irresponsible and it cost me my job, I have been having a massive blow out,… Continue

Added by Dee on March 11, 2017 at 5:22pm — 3 Comments

Chimes from heaven.

My Mommy died on Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 2:30 P.M. It was the most devastating day of my entire life. I knew her death was certain because she'd had two strokes on both sides of her brain a year apart. It was expected, but never real until the moment it happened. I was asleep when she died. I woke up the minute to the hour she passed on. The movie While You Were Sleeping was my favorite movie of all time, so it is ironic really.

Around midnight I went out on the porch.…


Added by Jennifer on March 11, 2017 at 3:54pm — No Comments


ever sisne iv had so mush loss i feal lk my lifs bean 1 big crash u cdy u cud say so mush loss in 2012 wz bad thn 2013 14 15 16 17 it tims i feal lk im jinx  i do i no its in my hed iv loss nuber of funrels iv bean 2 ovr lst 5 yrs evry 1 difrnt 

sad thng is only tim i sea famly 

Added by JO B on March 10, 2017 at 3:36pm — 2 Comments

My mother lived out her illness for 14 years, with the love of my father and family. For 14 years, we watched my mother, a very strong woman deteriorate. She watched herself deteriorate. I bathed her…

My mother lived out her illness for 14 years, with the love of my father and family. For 14 years, we watched my mother, a very strong woman deteriorate. She watched herself deteriorate. I bathed her, clothed her, did her hair and nails. Her bedroom was downstairs, over looking a beautiful vegetable garden and dwarf apple trees.. My father gave her the best life she could have lived.. Up until she passed away. 14 years of live and dedication, honesty, loyalty. My father was diagnosed with MDS… Continue

Added by Dee on March 2, 2017 at 7:51am — No Comments

My mother, the hero!

I would consider myself a spiritual person.. Born a catholic, but sceptical bout the whole thing. Never been to a psychic or medium, never felt I had or wanted to either. My mother was a teacher, a social worker, a friend, an aunt, a super hero in my eyes. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis around my 16th birthday. Actually, no she was diagnosed with depression by a shabby doctor, for 3 years of this 'depression' her meds were upped and upped.. Only for the second opinion 3 years later… Continue

Added by Dee on February 27, 2017 at 5:42am — 2 Comments

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   mom

Added by kim on February 25, 2017 at 9:39am — No Comments

The "How Are You?" Question

One of my friends (who hasn't contacted me for weeks) sent me a cutesy picture of a cat and a message which asked "how are you?". Cat picture aside, I am tired of this question, particularly when I feel the person asking it just wants to hear I am feeling better. As if that is possible for me five months after my husband's suicide. After I lost the love of my life, my joy and my happiness.I don't know how to answer the how are you question anymore, but I will be damned if I'm going to put on a… Continue

Added by Louise on February 25, 2017 at 12:30am — 11 Comments

4 Years and i still cry.

I am scared .

My grief is all day and all night .

I think of my partner every day all day.

It is not healthy at all.

Added by Elizabeth skelsey on February 24, 2017 at 4:15am — 2 Comments

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Paula Marie commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It will soon be four years since I lost my mom and today the grief is worse than ever ... I wonder will it ever go away ... and do I even want it to go? I don't mind the constant sadness, but it often becomes so overwhelming in it's…"
15 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
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Tanya commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, grieving is hard work because at some point you have to pick yourself up.  So your emotions go up and down.  Thankfully between my daughter and work, I'm busy.  That helps otherwise I would be a mess.  The finality of…"
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Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, YES!! I almost forgot about this but I used to do the same thing. We would be out for dinner and I'd see a daughter with her elderly mother, and I just kept looking at them thinking how lucky she was to still have her mom. Looking…"
23 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Nancy yes I wished that we lived closer also it would be great to talk with you Bluebell, it took me sometime to go shopping, mostly because of panic and anxiety attacks that take over, but I did and still do the same thing I would look at…"
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Tanya, I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
catherine bailey commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post.  Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other.  Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
Lenny commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
Connie K commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Catherine I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
cin po commented on Valentina Jolley's blog post Letter to you; my other half in heaven
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.  I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
cin po left a comment for Fran
"Hi Fran, I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
cin po commented on cin po's blog post Talking to people about my loss & grief helps me
"Hi Jewels, I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
kim commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me.  shawn is the love of my life.  my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness.  im so very…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do I have not had a dream about her yet To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"

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