All Blog Posts (2,349)

Learning to ENJOY life again

Sometimes we get so caght up ih the realms of the what ifs and the have nots and the souldn´t, couldn´t wouldn´t. And what we miss is to find joy in the small things, to smile for the right reasons, and simply EXIST. We put so much pressure in that smile to happen that the guilt or whatever problem shuts the opportunities to ENJOY some more, and allow all to go and fall in place with a little less participation and letting time for things to eventually fall into place. It´s as if we trust…

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Added by silvia maria on April 26, 2017 at 9:14am — No Comments

Shifting the mind to the PRESENT

Shifting the mind to the PRESENT is not only good, but necessary. THe PRESENT is the only time that EXISTS. The FUTURE and PAST are not real. They are a construct of our feelings and experiences and projections. The past is not only facts but attributted feelings and worth of experiences. Some taught, some were good, and some we chosse to forget. No matter what bringing the past to the present and projecting forward is a CHOICE. And most of us grieving don´t FEEL it´s a choice. In fact, we…

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Added by silvia maria on April 25, 2017 at 11:42am — No Comments

SAFE HEAVEN, a MENTAL SPACE

Many of us wonder if there will ever be PEACE. It does depend upon PEACE is mentally a real possibility. Meaning, you can´t achive what you don´t believe you DESERVE. As SOULS, we don´t come to this existence in pairs, and there is a reason people walk in and out our lives in one way or another, and that is because they are no longer NEEDED, and most likely it´s not for us to decide. It´s contemplation of what is and was that will lead to this very valuable conclusion. Creating to the soul a…

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Added by silvia maria on April 24, 2017 at 1:30pm — 2 Comments

From the Heart

What does success in coping with death mean to you? Does it mean you can now walk your dog through the neighborhood and actually look up and smile as people go by?  Does it mean you went and bought flowers for the oak barrel that has been neglected for the past year? Does it mean you made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in God knows how long?  Or did you just go for a ride without crying or talk to your kids about something stupid and inconsequential?

      There are no…

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Added by Mike on April 24, 2017 at 10:40am — No Comments

Finally one day I woke up feeeling ALRIGHT

After so many days and nights in this internal struggle to LIVE in this body and mind that more resembled a world war, being mty body the place and my soul the victim. Only echos of hurt propagating this waves of internal constand struggle. I removed myself from a lot of things, so I could sort out what was internal and triggers and just finding peace was a hard enough JOB. And out there more crap to my crap when craptometer is already running on overload. TODAY I FEEL ALRIGHT. First day in…

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Added by silvia maria on April 24, 2017 at 8:26am — No Comments

just want to die

why can't I die 

Added by Jane on April 23, 2017 at 6:33pm — 3 Comments

Energy and boredom

I am just so god damn tired. Everything takes a ridiculous, enormous amount of energy. A simple trip to the store, getting a haircut, many times just getting out of bed in the first place. It is exhausting. The first death anniversary I went into a block. The second has felt like a second knock out punch when I'm still in the critical care unit from the first one 2 years ago. I haven't even begun to recover. Just struggle to survive. I'm fighting for a life I've given up on.

Taking a…

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Added by rachel_micele on April 23, 2017 at 4:23pm — 2 Comments

Fighting feelings just WEARS DOWN...the HEALING CURVE

Healing is not about fighting feelings. I think the more we fight them the more neglected they become and come back worse and in ways that makes for a poor outles to say the least. These feelings cannot be neglected, and yet cannot be just discarted. THey have to be DEALTH with. In the realms of HEALING, we must recoup enough to no longer need them....to be able to let go, detach. It´s so much easier said than done. Some we think we are done with return from the dead given triggers and…

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Added by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 1:18pm — No Comments

What can I do TODAY to make me feel better?

I remeber asking that myself sometimes when the worry sleeps with me and is stil present in the morning. Almost like a nightmare we fight the mind off to sleep, and it´s right there in the minute we wake up. For me thats the time to put some positive input in the brain. And since heading out and about even for a dog walk can be difficult with the pains in my back, I must try something else. Medicines altering the brain, I am very allergic. Thus in the times I´ve been in bed for over 6 years…

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Added by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 1:01pm — No Comments

Guided Meditation by Louise Hay

Here is something to help rescuing the mind from the negative thinking by replacing by positive thinking and ALLOW HEALING to take place. Guided meditation and music helps to bring the mindset back to the present and in the positive side of life. My favorites are from LOUISE HAY. There is more online. ENJOY!

Morning guided meditation 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jNV1FV-_Os

Self Love…

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Added by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 12:00pm — No Comments

Touching the HURT the wrong way...set the right DISTANCE

As I start regaining grounds of my OWN LIFE, it´s amazing how many people love to through some crap to get a negative reaction. Of course if they touch my HURT the WRONG WAY, they gained just MORE DISTANCE form my feelings and life. It´s not about them. It´s about TIME my life is ABOUT ME. If they cared to SUPPORT my HEALING, they WOULD NOT be doing that. Settting me off will work just perfect knowing exactly where my HURT is, but in fact what they just EARNED was a greater physical distance…

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Added by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 11:13am — No Comments

Accepting CHANGE, avoiding setbacks

Life CHANGES all the time according to our perception and choices and opportunities presented to us. Some changes are more abrupt and unwelcome than others. And some are more than welcome anytime. And we can´t wait for that change to happen. Fact is CHANGES are part of life, and acceptance makes a little easier every day. Coping with loss of course is time consuming and hard. And even when we come to accept, peers around us love to throw us right back where we were. By reminding how good it…

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Added by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 10:30am — No Comments

HEALING...TIME investment!

When we are healing, there is something obvious to us that may not be perceived by most. That time is just a convention. Time in our clocks are just for the rotation of the earth and makes easier to plan our dayly tasks. But healing makes day and nights alike and suffering seems a forever and around and beyond the clocks issue. Comes and goes the hurt with no invitation or time of the day. I think if we were to truly give TIME a meaning, we would have to know HOW LONG we would be alive…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 11:11pm — No Comments

The BIG PICTURE

Being the caregiver changed where I was going in more ways I could sense at the time. I was to remain single to take care of my ill mother. I was to have no life other than from emergency to emergency. I was to work and take care of myself AFTER the needs of my mother were taken care. I was not to go anywhere outside the city boundaries, and always near home and with the cel phone charged. I was not to drink one drop of alcohol just in case any emergency came up and I needed to drive. I was…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 5:30pm — No Comments

All the ghost places

Strangely recently I caught myself in this repetitive loop of my mind taking me repeatedly to this GHOST PLACE. Well, a place I used to have happy moments with my mother. It´s a place we used to go have lunch or just relax having some pop to drink. It´s a pub at night, buffet at lunch time. Basicallty it´s run by a large family and open 24 hrs a day every day of the week. It´s just across my street, thus in my way in and out to other places. For about a good couple months I have been…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 3:30pm — 4 Comments

A New Look at the 7 Emotional States of Loss By Dr. Natasha Josefowitz

By Dr. Natasha Josefowitz

Everyone deals with pain differently. What helps me is trying to understand it. When my husband died, the pain was so intense that I wondered whether I would survive it. I did survive and decided to learn and write about the pain of loss and the process of healing. I used my own experience after the death of my husband four years ago, my cousin and my…

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Added by Nora on April 22, 2017 at 3:30pm — 1 Comment

Accepting GRIEF is a lonely place, not alone necessarily

One thing I learned in the roller coaster there is to recoup, nearly NO ONE is the right company. Most don´t understand the triggers and after they see what does they blame instead of SUPPORTING and being a healing part of the process. I am used to lots of people wherever I go and do what I need to do. But when it comes from this emotional stage where balance is very fragile on my own, I had to pick wisely and be VERY SELECTIVE. Most people i the family are way behind and try one way or…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 3:14pm — No Comments

Talk is CHEAP...I just DO IT

I remember when the family got involved in care giving after so many times they were called to help but couldn´t care less, in fact most had a LOT to SAY. But little DOING. But roles reverse, don´t they? I kept doing and all their critique was just lesson learned to do more and talk less. Because talk is useless around people who swallowed the truth in their tiny small little worlds. THE SAME PEOPLE finelly getting involved was that mess multiplied into one bad choice after the other. But…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 1:43pm — No Comments

Moving life FORWARD, against all odds

Moving life forward is relative, isn´t it? Basically there is no point in getting into action mode until we understand WHERE we are going or WHY. In the many hard times and multiple losses in my life, I gained EXPERIENCE that life is not about who MOVES FASTER, rather who chooses wisely the DIRECTION they are advancing life TOWARDS. There are too many roads to take and much to invest of time, energy, and resources. In society, it´s common to confuse wealth with health, doing versus quietly…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Finding NEW BALANCE

Sometimes we suffer from wanting a lot things that are not to our actual benefit. I find most of the loops in our minds leading to acke for the lack of anything can be simply because we are not sleeping well. And because of all we went through, the mind goes back to what it was. But it´s not by facing the world´s crap or putting the face out there to get hit that we get anywhere GOOD in ters of life balance. In fact, it´s quite the opposite. Limit exposre and realize when exceds craptometer…

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Added by silvia maria on April 22, 2017 at 10:02am — No Comments

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Latest Activity

Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right. I pray that you find some enjoyment on your day off. Sending hugs and love you way, Bluebell"
3 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, being a hospice nurse has to be tough I think you are right because of your own experience you will be stronger than you think. I am off today and I am going to run errands it helps to occupy my mind, but not completely.  "
6 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I just read the recent posts and wanted to say how only this evening I was thanking the universe that we humans are mortal. Whether it takes another 30 years (and like Jackie the thought of another 30 years terrifies me and saddens me beyond words)…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
12 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
13 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
14 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
14 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
14 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
14 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
15 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
15 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
17 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
18 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
19 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
19 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
21 hours ago

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