Denise
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About my Loss:
My husband died 6/19/2016

This is all so new

My husband of 26 years (we were a couple for 36 yrs) died this morning. He had diabetes for 20 yrs, sarchoidosis which attacked his liver and was on dialysis for the last 5 yrs. I am numb. We have two children in their 20's who live with us and I am like everyone else on this thread, my husband LOVED us and we knew it, Although he has rebounded many other times when we were told he would not make it, this time everything was just too much and his heart just stoppped beating. I can not figure out how to go on, but I know that he would want me to do so, for myself, my children and for him. Everyone who met him loved him and his faith carried him through - each time he rebounded he said God wanted him here for a reason and then preceeded to love everyone he met. We had a huge party last month and he saw family and friends and we had a marvelous time. So glad we had that memory among many others.  We just moved  into a new house last year and one of our last conversations he said he wanted us to enjoy the house. It has not been 24 hrs (he died 6/19/2016) and I can't imagine going to bed tonight knowing he will not walk into this house . I am rambling, I joined because I KNOW I will need to talk to others who have lost a spouse. I feel a little better reading some of the threads

Denise's Blog

Neutral

Yesterday, I had to pick up copies of George's death certificates and it totally devastated me. It did not bother me when I received the copies, I pretended that it did not bother me because I put the copies face down in the back of the car and did not look at them until later that night. I have not read the whole certificate but after I skimmed it looking at the cause of death I fell apart but I forced myself to hold it together until I started sobbing while watching TV with our daughter. I…

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Posted on June 25, 2016 at 6:50am — 4 Comments

Today is not a good one

Today I have not been able to move. I have moved through my house, and have been on the deck but not out to interact with others and I think that it is necessary for me to get outside and speak to or see anyone other than my children. Today is so hard. My body aches and feels like lead, I know that these feelings will come and go and they have over the past few days, but today the cloud is lingering longer than usual and I am afraid if I let it take hold I will never be able to get out from…

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Posted on June 22, 2016 at 1:29pm — 2 Comments

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Latest Activity

Aright updated their profile
5 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
Thursday
Mandy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
Wednesday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
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Oct 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
Oct 8
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
Oct 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"How are you all doing?  I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.  Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
Oct 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"What a horrible price to pay for love. "
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
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Dayna commented on Kim Darichuk's status
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"
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Kim Darichuk posted a status
"Lost my mom may 1st I'm 34 years old having an extremely hard time we were so so close this was so sudden and I am so lost.. I carry on"
Sep 30

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