"Yes, it is absolutely obvious that you are a loving son. And we all have our own stories. I know why I feel guilty but I do not pretend to know why anyone else here feels guilty, unless they tell us of course. And I want to be honest. I want to look…"
Circumstances were hostile because there were some personal issues happening which created hindrances in my mother's treatment. Also I used to be in panic due to which I shouted on her a lot for not following the protocols. I…"
"Avi, not sure what is meant by circumstances were hostile — are you referring to the stressfulness of the whole situation, or something more specific?
Either way, I’m really sorry that you’re in such pain, and from what…"
"1. Guilt- Not taking care of her enough. Leaving her for months as the circumstances were hostile. Shouting on her during her treatment.
2. Regrets- Not talking to my mom enough when she was alive. Taking her for granted.
I will live…"
"Theresa, I'm trying as well, but this is something that my mom and I had talked about. Mom wanted me to go on with a smile on my face. If it had been me who had died, I know that it would have haunted my mom the same as her death is haunting…"
"Yes I still cry probably too much, but I do realize I have to go on and live my life, take care of my senior dog and keep going.
Sometimes it hits me really hard, I'll turn off the radio in the car and start talking to my mom, thinking my gosh…"
"I sure know that feeling. I was thinking about this today. I have faith that my mom is in heaven. And, yes I would rather be in heaven with my mom than be here. But here's the really sad things. Even if there is nothing after we die, I would…"
"Avi, I have been thinking about your post all day. And I do not want you to feel like you are alone at all. There's not a day that goes by, not an hour when I don't think about my mom. And I think for people like me and Theresa, days…"
"I envy people also Brett that have a loving support system to help them through what we are going through.
God is love and he wants us to be compassionate and kind, and he will always be by our side.
I believe that"
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
I am 26, a Licensed Massage Therapist and a mother to a beautiful 5 year old little girl.
About my Loss:
~I lost my uncle to pancreatic cancer on 10-18-09
~I lost my Papaw to liver cancer 10-20-08
~I lost my Nana to Lung Cancer 12-4-08
~I lost my sweet Mom 6-8-09. In 2006 we found out that she had breast cancer, she had surgery and radiation. Everything was good for awhile. Then in August of 2008 we found out that it was in her Liver, Gall Bladder, Bile Duct and Lymph Nodes in the central part of her chest. She had surgery to remove everything that could be safely removed. In Sept she got a Staph infection and we almost lost her. November, she started Chemo....She was 2 treatments away from being finished with chemo when we found out that she was in Acute Renal Failure (5-19-09), two days later we found out that her Liver had failed and that there was nothing left that they could do for her. She died June 8, 2009 at 1:10pm.
Comment Wall (10 comments)
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I work up this morning...and thought "what a bummer". I really have no meaning to my life. My mother has been gone 3 weeks Monday. Cancer...that murderer of our loved ones. She was my darling mom. Without my faith..I would just kiss this thing we call life goodbye. This site and all of you have been almost my sole support. I pray a lot. I miss her. I hope you are going to have a decent day today. I will try. Mustering up the energy and desire to do something normal like go to the movies. XO Sue
I am a 26 year old dental hygiene student and mother of a little girl who is almost four. Last Dec. my Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer. We lost her this past summer. She was only 49. I felt like I was the only young girl who lost her mom--until I joined this community. It is so hard, and I miss her so much. Sometimes I think im ok and can see a future for myself and my family, and sometimes I cant hardly get out of bed. I hope you and your family are well.
I am sorry about your mom too. I just lost my mom on Jan 22 and I am only 32 years old, young like you. We never expect to lose our moms this early in life. Its just horrible! I miss her so much and it hasn't even been a month yet. We are best friends! K
Karen I am so sorry you just lost your Mom. It's been a few years for me but I think about my Mom everyday and say hello to her. My husband had cancer 3 yrs ago and they said he was "cured". Now he is having liver problems and I'm scared the cancer may be back. We just never know what life will deal us. Hang in there and know that you are in my prayers and thoughts.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom when I was 18 years old. Then a Sister, a Brother, my Father and recently my Brother to cancer. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of them all. It has been 26 years since I lost my Mom. Take comfort in knowing that the memories you have of her or of the two of you together now will one day lead to smiles instead of tears...
I am so sorry for you. I also lost my mother on 10/16/08, father on 12/5/08 and my grandmother on 5/29/09. My mother also had bial duct cancer. It is really hard losing so many of your loved ones in a short period of time. My daughters are 24 & 19 and the family is having such a hard time with this. We miss them so much.
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"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can. I sent a message to ninja to check if I have a setting wrong. I have pics to be seen by friends set. I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time.
Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
"She was sent to save me. There was a fate of that. Too many coincidences to be otherwise. I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship. We both moved to a…"
Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Mary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years. In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery. I wasn't miserable.…"
What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule:
"My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon. And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
"I'm in a constant state of paralysis. I seem only to be able to do things when I know I have to. Simple things go undone. Dust builds up on my bedroom furniture. I look at it and say to myself, I should dust. But…"