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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce. Many of us have lost more than one person or event. Come share!

Members: 292
Latest Activity: Oct 14

Discussion Forum

When it rains, it pours!

I've lost 6 family members within a 20-month time period; our teen was recently diagnosed with a life-long mental illness, my spouse is underemployed and stressed, and I am unable to work due to our…Continue

Started by Holding on to Christ Jan 24, 2018.

Car accident and the a suicide 4 Replies

Hello. My name is sara. So on the 18th of feb at exactly 3pm my grandad passed away then at 3.02pm my nan died. They were involved in a massive car accident. And they were gone. That day change my…Continue

Started by Sara. Last reply by Sara Sep 12, 2017.

Murder, Suicide, And living in fear 3 Replies

I don't even know if I can do this. My mind is weary and my thoughts are scattered. And death is all around me. In fact it consumes me as I still search for answers and try to understand them all. My…Continue

Started by Janet Shores Hoogendyk. Last reply by Belle Merc Jun 23, 2017.

Why do we think we have more time with someone? 1 Reply

I always felt I should have said more about how I felt about them, did more for them or did more with them. My youngest sister and I lived together, she had OCD and I have ADD so most of the time we…Continue

Started by Babz Worel. Last reply by dream moon JO B Nov 7, 2016.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 11:08pm

Hi. I used to belong to just the "I Miss My Mom" because I lost my Mom in Feb 14th 2017. April 9th...20 days ago, my sister's husband died suddenly. It is effecting me not only because I love my sister and really admired her husband, but also because this is another loss so soon after the first. For my sister, it is a double whammy because both of us were close to Mom and still mourn her loss. This is bringing back up a lot of sadness and tears are falling as I write this.

Bluebell

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 12:19pm

My apologies to you, Hannah, for my misinterpretation.   I now understand what your counselor was saying.  Yes, finding people who understand is extremely helpful for sharing.  Oddly enough, I find great comfort in my working on genealogy.  Learning how they lived and the struggles they survived are testimonials to the human spirit.  My best to you all.

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:13pm

sorry for evrys 1 s loss had so mush loss loss in lst 6 yrs 

i no evry loss is diffo thy is

loss my dad in 1212

loss my dad in 2012

so mush loss in 12

evry

yr seams 2 be loss it wz 

loss a cat in 2016 had her for 16/17 yrs i did 

got robdd in 2017 i wz 

lozzin mom befre shes gon 2 alz/dem

soorry  if im ramlin 2 mush

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:09pm

sorry for evrys loss

had so mush loss in lst 6 yrs 

Comment by Hannah S on January 23, 2018 at 12:07pm

My apologies for not clarifying or sounding insensitive, my counsellor meant it in the way of we are dealing with a lot - as in it's rare for people to have multiple losses. It is so hard to heal when we keep getting bombarded by loss. Reaching out on here with people who have experienced loss on such large levels is very helpful.

I am deeply sorry for your losses Kris. I do too feel those around me too sometimes. It's difficult navigating life without them. I know the pain will never go away but we do learn to cope.My thoughts are with you. 

I do whole heartedly believe you when you say they have made you a better person. I believe that the people I have lost really shaped me into the woman I am today and I am so thankful I got the opportunities to be such big parts in their lives. 

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 11:22am

Hi Jo and Hannah,

I don't believe that only war or natural disaster survivors are the only ones dealing with multiple losses.  I've had in the space of a six years I've lost five close friends, my mother, her sister, a neighbor and nephew-in-law, both to suicide, and two fur kids who were a part of my life for 18 years.

No, it doesn't seem fair.  And I have spent a good bit of time in trying to accept that dying is a part of life.  Sometimes the circumstances of a death have made it easier to accept because our loved ones are free from pain--Mom's stroke that left her brain dead; my aunt's complications from cancer, or organ failure.   In the case of my nephew, I still have a lot of anger toward him but also realize that he too was in great pain--emotionally.  

What I miss most are the holes they left in the fabric of my life.  Yet I often hear in my head the wisdom and love of my Mother, dear friends, and even my fur kids.  So I guess they haven't entirely left me.  I am a better person because of them.   I have come to be more compassionate towards my self and others.  

I hope this may help.  Sending you prayers.

 

    

Comment by Jo l on January 22, 2018 at 7:52pm

Hi all I've lost most of my family in the past 10 years or so and my bf 4 months ago its been very hard to deal with I ask why this has happened and don't have any answers it just doesn't seem fair 

Comment by Hannah S on January 22, 2018 at 5:17pm

I'm recently a victim to multiple loss myself. It's not fair, nor easy to deal with. Any tips? 

My counsellor said generally only people who go to war or deal with a natural disaster are the ones who are faced with multiple loss. 

Comment by Lost soul on January 6, 2018 at 1:42am

I lost my mother when I was four year old, my grandmother when I was 9, grandfather when I was 20, father when I was 31 , got abandoned and divorced by my husband ,lost job too,...its all dark dark n dark.....please help :(

Comment by Moira Lynch on August 10, 2017 at 6:45am

Hi group. Reaching out in desperation. Lost my job in June, my brother in July and my best friend just moved out of state a week ago. Call this the summer of sorrows. Also in the past 5 years have lost my mother, my Godmother and Godfather. Was divorced a year ago in June. It is complicated by earlier losses that went ungrieved. Feeling overwhelmed and close to despair but trying to find some light in everyday. Question: how do you keep moving through grief? 

 

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M Adams left a comment for Allen
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, Your message is so moving! Every word you say rings so true! I could have written the message. You express my innermost thoughts and wishes. It's been a little over five years for me since Joseph has been gone, but I feel his lack as…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot. We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves. You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us. Keep sharing here. …"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot.  We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves.  You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us.  I tied…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm still a mess too Morgan and it just keeps getting worse.  Nothing but going to her will ever help me not be in agony every second of every day.  That being said, it has to happen naturally which really sucks because we don't…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Once again your have posted my exact feelings on losing my beloved Julian. 7 years also. Life does not go on for me, I am just existing until death takes me and the sooner the better."
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm still a mess.  Almost seven years later and I still cannot absorb loss in any form.  Doesn'tmatter if its mine or someone else's.  And nothing helps.  I have a best friend who tries valiantly to comfort me.…"
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"Hello Melissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. My son took his own life on August 25th. He was 20 yers old and the pain is almost unbearable. He was a wonderful human being and I miss him every day."
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