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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce. Many of us have lost more than one person or event. Come share!

Members: 291
Latest Activity: Sep 11

Discussion Forum

When it rains, it pours!

I've lost 6 family members within a 20-month time period; our teen was recently diagnosed with a life-long mental illness, my spouse is underemployed and stressed, and I am unable to work due to our…Continue

Started by Holding on to Christ Jan 24.

Car accident and the a suicide 4 Replies

Hello. My name is sara. So on the 18th of feb at exactly 3pm my grandad passed away then at 3.02pm my nan died. They were involved in a massive car accident. And they were gone. That day change my…Continue

Started by Sara. Last reply by Sara Sep 12, 2017.

Murder, Suicide, And living in fear 3 Replies

I don't even know if I can do this. My mind is weary and my thoughts are scattered. And death is all around me. In fact it consumes me as I still search for answers and try to understand them all. My…Continue

Started by Janet Shores Hoogendyk. Last reply by Belle Merc Jun 23, 2017.

Why do we think we have more time with someone? 1 Reply

I always felt I should have said more about how I felt about them, did more for them or did more with them. My youngest sister and I lived together, she had OCD and I have ADD so most of the time we…Continue

Started by Babz Worel. Last reply by dream moon JO B Nov 7, 2016.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 11:08pm

Hi. I used to belong to just the "I Miss My Mom" because I lost my Mom in Feb 14th 2017. April 9th...20 days ago, my sister's husband died suddenly. It is effecting me not only because I love my sister and really admired her husband, but also because this is another loss so soon after the first. For my sister, it is a double whammy because both of us were close to Mom and still mourn her loss. This is bringing back up a lot of sadness and tears are falling as I write this.

Bluebell

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 12:19pm

My apologies to you, Hannah, for my misinterpretation.   I now understand what your counselor was saying.  Yes, finding people who understand is extremely helpful for sharing.  Oddly enough, I find great comfort in my working on genealogy.  Learning how they lived and the struggles they survived are testimonials to the human spirit.  My best to you all.

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:13pm

sorry for evrys 1 s loss had so mush loss loss in lst 6 yrs 

i no evry loss is diffo thy is

loss my dad in 1212

loss my dad in 2012

so mush loss in 12

evry

yr seams 2 be loss it wz 

loss a cat in 2016 had her for 16/17 yrs i did 

got robdd in 2017 i wz 

lozzin mom befre shes gon 2 alz/dem

soorry  if im ramlin 2 mush

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:09pm

sorry for evrys loss

had so mush loss in lst 6 yrs 

Comment by Hannah S on January 23, 2018 at 12:07pm

My apologies for not clarifying or sounding insensitive, my counsellor meant it in the way of we are dealing with a lot - as in it's rare for people to have multiple losses. It is so hard to heal when we keep getting bombarded by loss. Reaching out on here with people who have experienced loss on such large levels is very helpful.

I am deeply sorry for your losses Kris. I do too feel those around me too sometimes. It's difficult navigating life without them. I know the pain will never go away but we do learn to cope.My thoughts are with you. 

I do whole heartedly believe you when you say they have made you a better person. I believe that the people I have lost really shaped me into the woman I am today and I am so thankful I got the opportunities to be such big parts in their lives. 

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 11:22am

Hi Jo and Hannah,

I don't believe that only war or natural disaster survivors are the only ones dealing with multiple losses.  I've had in the space of a six years I've lost five close friends, my mother, her sister, a neighbor and nephew-in-law, both to suicide, and two fur kids who were a part of my life for 18 years.

No, it doesn't seem fair.  And I have spent a good bit of time in trying to accept that dying is a part of life.  Sometimes the circumstances of a death have made it easier to accept because our loved ones are free from pain--Mom's stroke that left her brain dead; my aunt's complications from cancer, or organ failure.   In the case of my nephew, I still have a lot of anger toward him but also realize that he too was in great pain--emotionally.  

What I miss most are the holes they left in the fabric of my life.  Yet I often hear in my head the wisdom and love of my Mother, dear friends, and even my fur kids.  So I guess they haven't entirely left me.  I am a better person because of them.   I have come to be more compassionate towards my self and others.  

I hope this may help.  Sending you prayers.

 

    

Comment by Jo l on January 22, 2018 at 7:52pm

Hi all I've lost most of my family in the past 10 years or so and my bf 4 months ago its been very hard to deal with I ask why this has happened and don't have any answers it just doesn't seem fair 

Comment by Hannah S on January 22, 2018 at 5:17pm

I'm recently a victim to multiple loss myself. It's not fair, nor easy to deal with. Any tips? 

My counsellor said generally only people who go to war or deal with a natural disaster are the ones who are faced with multiple loss. 

Comment by Lost soul on January 6, 2018 at 1:42am

I lost my mother when I was four year old, my grandmother when I was 9, grandfather when I was 20, father when I was 31 , got abandoned and divorced by my husband ,lost job too,...its all dark dark n dark.....please help :(

Comment by Moira Lynch on August 10, 2017 at 6:45am

Hi group. Reaching out in desperation. Lost my job in June, my brother in July and my best friend just moved out of state a week ago. Call this the summer of sorrows. Also in the past 5 years have lost my mother, my Godmother and Godfather. Was divorced a year ago in June. It is complicated by earlier losses that went ungrieved. Feeling overwhelmed and close to despair but trying to find some light in everyday. Question: how do you keep moving through grief? 

 

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Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
3 hours ago
Aimee Hall Fuszard updated their profile photo
3 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Joe for your posts. In a weird way it gives me a lift.  How?  Because I know that I am not making up how hard this suffering is.   My closest friend and sibling also know how I feel about dying and I know I would not have to…"
4 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe that is incredible. thanks for the time and energy sharing. i think ill look at some of your suggestions and see what will work for me. for me this week has been hard. 1 week until first anniversary of her death, i don't know what to…"
6 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Read second post first Morgan. Had to break it up into two parts and did it backwards."
7 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
""As the years are passing I feel the need more and more." When I read some of you guys suffering so long, it gives me great fear that despite my health neglect, and legal preparations, I don't know when it will actually come to…"
7 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, "I read your words and it brings me to my knees."  I keep asking God to let me go many times a day.  I tell Him/Her/It that I will never relent until my prayer is answered.  I ask my love to keep asking too and have…"
7 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Bluebird for nice comment about my Julian. He was so caring and was my rock. Being with him for 24/7 for 13 years of our retirement was bliss, I thank God for this time together.  Morgan & Joe I keep believing there is eternal love…"
11 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I read your words and it brings me to my knees.  I so want to join my husband.  As the years are passing I feel the need more and more.  I am not sure I understand totally how your OBE has given you more faith that somehow we…"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice…"
12 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, Your Julian looks like such a nice man in that photo; what a lovely smile! Joe, Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are right."
15 hours ago
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life…"
15 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Bluebird, It is impossible for us to know for absolutely sure what exactly happens when we die.  Oh, how I would love her to appear before me and tell me she's here and waiting for me, but I also know that she can't do that…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, I am so glad that the folks on this forum feel the same way I do. Society is always trying to label people, if we don't agree with them they think we are weird or crazy. My sweet Husband Julian taught me to ignore what other people…"
19 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry, I meant Linda and Monty and Joe."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I fully agree with you both, Linda and Monty. My deep and abiding grief is the only response I could possibly have to my husband's death. My soulmate was torn from me, and I don't know if his wonderful soul still exists, or if I will ever…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Daylight India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want.  Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. "
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months…"
yesterday

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