Multiple Losses Group

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Comment by Carmen on August 20, 2010 at 9:06pm

Last thursday i had lost my grandma 2 yrs ago today i lost my dad a yr ago....how am i to deal with all the pain of losing them :(

Comment by gramaokie on July 5, 2010 at 11:08pm

Hello to each of you. This is my first time on this site. My most recent losses started December 2007 when my youngest cousin died from pancreatic cancer. My sister-in-law, who was also my best friend, lost her battle with breast cancer December 2008. My mother found my younger brother dead in his apartment bathroom March 9, 2010. He had had a brain tumor removed in July 2007 and subsequently developed a condition called frontal lobe syndrome. From the time his wife died until we lost him, we had to take over his finances, help him with medications, treatment, etc. He was getting ready to see his neurologist when he apparently had a seizure. Then, on May 4, 2010, my dad had a severe pain in his leg that got progressively worse until he couldn't get up from his chair.. He & Mom waited for my afternoon visit before they called an ambulance. Mom thought he had somehow pulled a muscle. He was admitted to the hospital and the next afternoon he had a seizure and went into a coma. He had been on dialysis 14 years and was a real fighter. God waited until all of the family had time to get here and say "good-bye". He died May 7. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I didn't get to say "good-bye" to my brother, and I miss my daddy more than I ever thought possible. My surviving brother lives five states away. So, I'm trying to help my mom. Beyond that, I'm not motivated to do anything. I know that I've rambled but it helps to share. I don't question God's plan, but I miss my family. I know without being told over & over by well-meaning people that they are all truly in a better place.

Comment by Cheryl on July 5, 2010 at 7:32pm

It's heartbreaking reading everyone's posts but it helps me to know that I'm not alone. I thank each and every one of you for your courage to write whats on your hearts and your strength in being honest. It's hard, this journey we must go on but at least we have a faithful God and each other. My husband and I are going camping Wednesday for a few days (we live in Alaska). I hope the weather gets better (it's been cloudy and rainy, which really depresses me). Hope everyone had a nice 4th, enjoy the coming week. God bless you, Cheryl

Comment by Nikita Worrell on July 5, 2010 at 6:37am

Hello I have had a tough past couple of years. 2008-09 was the hardest for me within 4 months i lost my grandfather my best friend and my great grandmother. Dec22,08 my grandfather was killed in a head on collision . Febuary 7,2009 my best friend passed away of an illness that she had been fighting for 9 years, March 29,09 from an illness . it was very hard for me to except and still is I have moved from tx to ak again and having a problem fighting this all alone i have felt left alone in this world. and it has not stoped more of my family seems to be passing away with in 4 months of each other i had 2 babys die in my family right around the end of 2009. It has changed how i live my life i am always depressed and my dr says there is nothing wrong with me but i know there is. why is it that when it rains on a family it pours ? I need a break from death. its getting to over whelming for me I have wanted to just quit living but i know i cant well I hope I can talk to someone sometime about this I hope that God has blessed each one of yall as he has me with a wonderful family, Everytime i get sad i remember that no matter where i go all my family and friends who have passed will be with me and watching over me .

Comment by Ellen Haugh on May 21, 2010 at 2:44pm

My losses have been ongoing for many yrs. First my sister at 32, She died of a brain herniation due to HIV in 2001. Then a close family friend like a grandpa to my kids the same yr. ironically enough we buried him on my sister birthday. Then my mom that was the hardest. I took care of her at home when she was dying. Honestly hospice came once a day for and hour. I did the rest and it sucked I just wanted to spend time with her and I spent it counting medication all day and night keeping log of when she took this and that. She had cancer, she was 57. Then both her parents at age 90 in 2006 ten days apart. I hold on to that one since they were 90 that there is hope for me to live a long life lol. Then my dad at 54 he was an alcholic and drank himself to death. Now as of today my mom has 2 sisters and one is dying of liver cancer she is 64. I live in fear on daily basis that my life is destined to end sooner than later. I really dont know how much more I can take. I will have 1 aunt left and she is sad to. On top of all of that I had a huge thing happen with my best friend and after 25yrs of friendship that ended to. It felt just like a loss. What scares me the most is I think Im numb. I dont feel much emotion anymore, I feel like oh well another one. I dont know what is worse. I do cry and miss them, but am I just accepting or losing myself in all of it. Im afraid to live because I always think that something else will happen. But I love my kids and they are good. Not ever in trouble. But as a mom I want to take all of their loss and keep for me because they shouldn't have to endure all of this I know they are in as just as much pain and confusion as to why this happens. I guess Im hear because I have to know Im not alone, it sure feels like it sometimes.

Comment by Jennifer Harvel on May 9, 2010 at 7:35pm

My losses started Nov 09 with a cousin, then mom, 2 more cousins, an aunt, my cat to cancer, and another cousin-- all before April 2010. I'be been staying busy with work, but as a teacher with summer coming, I DO NOT look forward to the down time without mom. She and i did everything together: traveling, visiting those cousins, shopping, ball games and just being together. Now what do i do?

Comment by Becky Petrie-Hamilton on May 9, 2010 at 4:01pm

My losses started with my daughter in Feb,2006 in a cae accident,4 months later my husband to cancer,2 months later my cousin who was like a sister to me, then in Jan 2008, my dad and now my soul mate, John. Sometimes I'm not even who I'm grieving for.
John and had been married in May of 1969, which ended in divorce 4 years and one baby later. We had kept in touch all these years. Even though he went his way and I mine. John came out in Sept 2009 to visit and it was like we had never been apart. We both just knew that we should be together. John decided to move from N.Y. to Missouri to be here with me. He moved here in Oct. and we were extremely happy. Both of us felt like teenagers again.In Jan he got sick and was in the hospital-we thought he had pneumonia. and that's when they found spots on his lungs- they did a biopsey the end of Jan and when we went back for the results drs. told us it was small cell cancer and he had 6 months to a year. He decided not to go through any treatment as it would only give him "maybe" 6 more months. We decided to remarry on our anniversary, May2. on April 12 John passed away. I feel very cheated, we were so looking forward to our "golden years" together. I fell confused, forsaken, angry, extremely sad,lost and depressed all at once. The pain or hurt I feel on the loss of John is so more intense.than it was with Larry. I want to understand the "WHY" even though I know in my head I 'm not to question God's reasons but my heart wants an anwser. I feel sick in my soul and I cry at the drop of a hat, I just feel like a robot doing want I have to. sometime the flood of tears just won't stop. I miis John so terribly bad, my heart is not just broken but feels like in is ripped out.

Comment by Amy Kuptz on March 13, 2010 at 12:34pm

Hi I'm Amy. I am new to this site. I guess I should start by explaining my losses. I lost my mother in 2002 after being in a coma for 9 months due to a heart attack. While she was in a coma her sister, my aunt, passed. I then lost my grandmother, their mother also in 2002. In 2003 I then lost my grandfather. In 2005 my other grandmother (dad's side) passed the day before I graduated high school. I also lost my dad's father and brother when I was younger. Then the day before Thanksgiving 2005 another of my mother's sister and her husband died in a car accident, they were on their way home from grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. A year ago I lost my first love to suicide. He had been there for me when my mother passed and we kept in touch after we broke up. He lost his mother also. I also lost my first baby niece last August.
Having wrote all this out I am thinking wow I am strong. But still I don't know how I got this far. I was 16 when my mom died and pretty much raised my sister because my dad took to alcoholism when she passed. It is still so hard and I feel like one day I will just crack. I live with this grief every day even thought it has gotten better it never goes away. These people should be in my life, they can't be replaced and all I can do is give tribute to their memorial.

Comment by Richard Lewis on March 10, 2010 at 4:43pm

As I read these comments I realize, that even though I have been told, Each of us grieve in different ways and at different rates and that loss is very personal. What would bother me very little is a major thing to many others.
So having said that. I would like to talk a little about the "LONELYS" these are the little things that trigger the emptyness that follows the death of a Loved one... For me it has been memorys that for some unknown reason are triggered by the strangest things such as a bird in flight,{ My Youngest son } or Dust on any item {My Wife} A sailboat {my Brother} a sunset { my Grandson}.... These are losses I have had since 2006 the last three since Oct.2009. But they seem to ease as time passes and I know that, although I will never forget. So to each of you I say " I feel your pain and I can assure you that It WILL ease.You are loved and My prayers are with you

Comment by Cheryl on February 2, 2010 at 9:45pm

Bangding I am amazed at your strength and my heart goes out to you, you have been through so much my friend. I know you must be hurting awfully bad inside. Please know that you are among people who can emphasise with you and we care. Take care.
Cheryl

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