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Comment by Jeneley on Friday

Hello,

Last year, I lost my sister and niece (not mother and daughter). My sister was 35, pregnant with her second child, and was murdered by her boyfriend. 6 weeks after her death, we lost my other sister daughter. Im extremely close to my nieces. She was only 5 years old. 

Since then, no justice for my sister and no improvement in my state of mind. I have a very challenging job and prior to last year, I was high performing and very focused. I cant seem to find my way out of this. Fear and anxiety, has found a host in my body. I live in a different state from my family and this pandemic has my anxiety through the roof. Seems harder to get a grip of my emotions lately. 

Comment by Rhonda Partin-Sharp on March 25, 2020 at 2:14pm

Hi.  I'm new to this group.  I've been on a group for losing my Mom and my Dad and there have been others I've lost that I never got in a group for.  My father-in-law passed away on March 14.  I'm sadder than I thought I'd be.  I've been a caregiver for a lot of the people I lost including living with my father-in-law for a while taking care of him.  I'm just sad.  I'm sad he's gone.  I'm sad he suffered at the end.  I'm sad for mistakes I made that I can't forgive myself for.  I'm sad because I'm remembering all of the other people I lost like I'm grieving them again.  I just sad.

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 11:08pm

Hi. I used to belong to just the "I Miss My Mom" because I lost my Mom in Feb 14th 2017. April 9th...20 days ago, my sister's husband died suddenly. It is effecting me not only because I love my sister and really admired her husband, but also because this is another loss so soon after the first. For my sister, it is a double whammy because both of us were close to Mom and still mourn her loss. This is bringing back up a lot of sadness and tears are falling as I write this.

Bluebell

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 12:19pm

My apologies to you, Hannah, for my misinterpretation.   I now understand what your counselor was saying.  Yes, finding people who understand is extremely helpful for sharing.  Oddly enough, I find great comfort in my working on genealogy.  Learning how they lived and the struggles they survived are testimonials to the human spirit.  My best to you all.

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:13pm

sorry for evrys 1 s loss had so mush loss loss in lst 6 yrs 

i no evry loss is diffo thy is

loss my dad in 1212

loss my dad in 2012

so mush loss in 12

evry

yr seams 2 be loss it wz 

loss a cat in 2016 had her for 16/17 yrs i did 

got robdd in 2017 i wz 

lozzin mom befre shes gon 2 alz/dem

soorry  if im ramlin 2 mush

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 23, 2018 at 12:09pm

sorry for evrys loss

had so mush loss in lst 6 yrs 

Comment by Hannah S on January 23, 2018 at 12:07pm

My apologies for not clarifying or sounding insensitive, my counsellor meant it in the way of we are dealing with a lot - as in it's rare for people to have multiple losses. It is so hard to heal when we keep getting bombarded by loss. Reaching out on here with people who have experienced loss on such large levels is very helpful.

I am deeply sorry for your losses Kris. I do too feel those around me too sometimes. It's difficult navigating life without them. I know the pain will never go away but we do learn to cope.My thoughts are with you. 

I do whole heartedly believe you when you say they have made you a better person. I believe that the people I have lost really shaped me into the woman I am today and I am so thankful I got the opportunities to be such big parts in their lives. 

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 11:22am

Hi Jo and Hannah,

I don't believe that only war or natural disaster survivors are the only ones dealing with multiple losses.  I've had in the space of a six years I've lost five close friends, my mother, her sister, a neighbor and nephew-in-law, both to suicide, and two fur kids who were a part of my life for 18 years.

No, it doesn't seem fair.  And I have spent a good bit of time in trying to accept that dying is a part of life.  Sometimes the circumstances of a death have made it easier to accept because our loved ones are free from pain--Mom's stroke that left her brain dead; my aunt's complications from cancer, or organ failure.   In the case of my nephew, I still have a lot of anger toward him but also realize that he too was in great pain--emotionally.  

What I miss most are the holes they left in the fabric of my life.  Yet I often hear in my head the wisdom and love of my Mother, dear friends, and even my fur kids.  So I guess they haven't entirely left me.  I am a better person because of them.   I have come to be more compassionate towards my self and others.  

I hope this may help.  Sending you prayers.

 

    

Comment by Jo l on January 22, 2018 at 7:52pm

Hi all I've lost most of my family in the past 10 years or so and my bf 4 months ago its been very hard to deal with I ask why this has happened and don't have any answers it just doesn't seem fair 

Comment by Hannah S on January 22, 2018 at 5:17pm

I'm recently a victim to multiple loss myself. It's not fair, nor easy to deal with. Any tips? 

My counsellor said generally only people who go to war or deal with a natural disaster are the ones who are faced with multiple loss. 

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