Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
For anyone who's lost a sibling. It's worse than people seem to think it is.
Latest Activity: May 15
Yesterday morning at 7am, my grandma called in hysterics that a hospital called her and told her my 32 year old brother had died. My mom and I called the sheriff's office and they said he had been dead 3 or 4 weeks and the landlord had found him the…Continue
Started by Michelle Collison. Last reply by Michelle Collison Apr 30, 2022.
Last month I lost my identical twin sister to a drug overdose. I did not think she was using again and I wish I had seen the signs that I only realized after the fact. So many questions go through my head and I wish I could just ask her, see her,…Continue
Started by Dayna. Last reply by Dayna Oct 24, 2019.
My youngest sister was a 25-year old Cystic Fibrosis patient. After two years waiting for a double-lung transplant, she got the call in December 2012, and underwent the surgery. However, her particular situation caused her to be on certain post-op…Continue
Started by Bridget. Last reply by Kaybei Oct 23, 2019.
On January 11, 2014, my life changed forever. It's one of the most painful experiences that I've faced in my life. I am the youngest of four and my sister was the oldest. She was not only my sister but my best friend. I saw her on a Sunday and less…Continue
Started by Erika Greene-Smith Jul 27, 2016.
I lost my 18 Year old Sister to Cancer on May 14, 2014. This day has changed me forever, I wasn't and still aren't the same person I was. When we first found out that she had cancer - we knew that time was very precious. At first it was rough on so…Continue
Started by Amber O. Last reply by Nicky Hutcheson Jul 26, 2016.
Hi im new here and Im just noticing there hasnt been many discussions.Im hoping to find others that have gone thru the pain of losing a sibling.I lost my only big sister to an accidental overdose nov 6th this yr Im just devasted. I was wanting to…Continue
Started by Elley. Last reply by julia bobbitt Jul 23, 2016.
Thank you so much Nicky, that is a perfect way to put it, "you lose you past and your future". You hit the nail on the head. I appreciate your reaching and may take you up on reaching out when I need to. Thank you for responding. I really appreciate it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is, I am sure, very raw as it is very early days still. When I lost my sister, I read somewhere that when you lose a sibling, you lose your past and your future. Your sibling is the one that knew everything before and, in the usual stream of things, would know everything after as your grow older together so it is really a double whammy. Although I still have my parents and we are very close, if you ever need to reach out and chat, please do. The grief journey is complex and a real rollercoaster, as I am sure you know. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. Take good care. X
My brother, sister, and dog died in a murder-suicide a year ago when I was 19. I'm 21 now and it feels like some things just get worse with time. I never get to see my brother go to college or my sister go to prom. There's just this deafening silence of them not being there. I am lonely a lot without my siblings. It's so exhausting to deal with this everyday. Nobody I know is going through something like this, something that literally is so traumatic and rips your whole life apart. My parents aren't really in my life very much. I just don't know if I'll ever feel okay again. It seems that as much as I try to get better and fill my life with people I still end up empty and feel alone in the end.
Patricia, thank you. It's truly a new miserable world without her. All I can think about everyday is the unfairness of it. I'm still in shock and can't truly believe she is gone, but to some people I don't say that. I've been on a couple of forums and said that and they just want to analyze that and make me feel like something is wrong with me because I'm in denial. Whatever. I"m fucking miserable on a daily basis. I talked to her more than anyone in her life or my life. We talked EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't think anyone realizes just how horrible this is for me. It is absolutely unbearable and this feeling will never go away. In 10 years I know I will feel the same way because I have nothing else going on in my life.
But it's good to talk to others mourning siblings because I don't think people think that's as much as a tragedy as losing a spouse or parent or child. Our pain is always overlooked.
It's very hard to find a discussion group for siblings that is very active. If you have lost a spouse or parent you are always in luck, those are always active. You are right that losing a sibling is worse than people think it is. Your sibling is with you your entire life, just like your parents, but for most you are closer to your siblings.
I lost my older sister and I think I'm losing my mind on a daily basis. Everyone things I'm "doing better" because it's been some months, but I'm getting worse. Basically, everyone else has moved on or don't want to bring it up. We were together all the time and basically did everything together. She was my main social hub, the one I hung out with, so without her I have no outlet. I have nothing. I'm seeing a counselor and she wants me to go to meet up and such. I have looked into it and even joined some but overall it's just depressing. I want what I can never have again. The comfort and ease of being with someone that gets me and knows me. She knew what I liked and always looked out for me. It was fun to have someone care like that.
I know people and I would talk about certain favorite things all the time, yet they would be clueless if I said something like "oh why didn't you get that for me. You know that's my favorite?" They go "It is? I didn't know" and it would be something that I bring up multiple times a day. She knew and remembered and if she saw something like that it would job her memory that it was my favorite. I will never have anyone that will think about me like that again. I would do the same for her, and now I have no one to do that for. Actually, I would do it for other people, but don't give a shit now. No one would think of me like that, so I don't care about anyone else. I'm just miserable. I'm tired of having no one to talk to, no one to make plans with. I only really have my Ma, but she is old and she's my Ma. I don't even want to hang out with her like that. She don't want to do what I want to do. Life is just miserable now.
Yes I can see why you're angry, especially because just the simple action of putting on a seatbelt (like he always did) may have saved his life. I guess possibly the driver swerving was an immediate reaction and unfortunately he probably had no time to think about what he was doing, otherwise I'm sure he would have done whatever had the best chances for everyone in the car. Of course I'm just speculating and have no idea about the details of the accident- how fast the driver was going etc. Does he feel remorse for what happened? Has he spoken to you personally about it? Was he close to your brother?
The circumstances around my sisters' death means that I've also experienced a lot of anger. It was through negligence and careless mistakes that she died. She was the only innocent party in the whole sorry mess. No matter how angry I get the outcome is always the same: she's dead, she's not coming back. No matter how many times I run over the 'What ifs' and 'Whys', I can't change a bloody thing. I understand your heartache xx
Gabrielle, yes it's hard. Everyone else in the car with Andrew came out with Concussions or a couple of broken bones. What upsets me the most is that he didn't have his seat belt on which is unlikely for him, he never went without one on. But we still don't know what exactly happened and how he got the worse of it. I am just upset at the driver mostly because everyone knows if there is ice on the road and a deer jumps in front of you, you don't try to miss it, you hit it, even if it messes up the car but at least everyone including my brother would have been ok. I am still dealing, and still trying to forgive the driver and my brother for not having a seatbelt on. And it's ok about my name, most people spell it wrong.
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