I am so sorry for your loss, Pamela. I too lost my Nancy last April 29th. She died in my arms. Her heart just stopped beating. As I approach the first year without her, I realize how much I was defined by her. Now that she's gone,I truly feel as though I am half a person. I pray that you will find some comfort in the wonderful memories those 48 years brought to you. Everyone here knows how you are feeling and are always ready to help when asked. In this earliest stage of your grief, take care of yourself, eat when you can and distract yourself with activities or just get out of the house. But cry when you need to and let the grief run it's course. You'll always have the love of that special person you lost but it will still hurt. Eventually, I am told, it will ease and you will integrate the ups and downs of that emotional roller coaster into your daily life. After nearly a year, I do have moments of peace and calm and I take those moments to remember the best times I had with my dear soulmate. God Bless you and may you experience "the peace that passeth all understanding" as you grieve your deep loss.
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.
I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else. So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
"Alice, I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date. I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids. Each year during the "seasonal"…"
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it. I shut her eyes. I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone. They were…"
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
"So I have been really busy at work and with moving, but of course at night when I get in bed I cry and cry.
I finally have come to realize this will be the new normal I guess, I do not think I will every stop missing my mom ever..."
Cancer is indeed a plague. Death from cancer is only part of the story. The journey from diagnosis to death is horrific and overwhelming. Even though cancer effects a lot of people, there are so many that just don't understand how…"