pamela winmill
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  • United Kingdom
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pamela winmill posted a status
"Will this torture ever end i really dont know how much longer i can go on it gets worse everyday"
Jan 1, 2017
pamela winmill commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I just want to sleep and not wake up it gets worse everyday 263  days treated like a leper by so called friends and like an idiot by some of my children and their wives, now at a point where i really dont care anymore "
Dec 21, 2016
pamela winmill commented on Jarvis's blog post You are not Alone!!!
"Feeling really down, each days getting  worse 7 months since i lost the love of my life , i just clicked on and read  your post Diane this was a song Russ and i used to play it is a sign from him that i clicked on and saw it, we are not…"
Nov 12, 2016
pamela winmill shared Jarvis's blog post on Facebook
Nov 12, 2016
pamela winmill commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is my first birthday without my husband 205 days ago he was taken from me 48 years of wonderful marriage, so called friends of 35 years have ignored me and ran inside when they see me and they have been saying they dont know what they have…"
Oct 25, 2016
pamela winmill replied to Ruthie's discussion Holidays coming
"Every year i put decorations all over the house at christmas, Russ cooked dinner and all the family came over, i cant face it this year he played Father Christmas for 25 years and a lady i know  was upset when i said i would not be doing it…"
Oct 19, 2016
pamela winmill replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Wow perfectly  put, love and hugs to you x"
Oct 19, 2016
pamela winmill replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"After 6 months one of my so called friends husband who lives 2 doors away knocked on my door and asked if i would go to their home  on friday for a drink, he said and i quote Russ has been dead now 2 years you should be going out! I have known…"
Oct 18, 2016
pamela winmill replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"We have been friends with our neighbours for 35 years been on holidays every year had dinner parties bbq mostly at our house, been on weekend aways, my husband even helped one of them in financial difficulty, now they run if they see me, one day…"
Sep 9, 2016
Oleta Cato replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Denise,  I too have had friends and neighbors RUN from me.  When I go out to get the mail, if there is a neighbor standing there they turn around and go inside.  I wonder if they think "widowhood" is catchy?  I have one…"
Sep 9, 2016
Denise replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Oleta I totally agree with you, what is wrong with people calling you?? Out of all the family and friends who said, " I will call" or those who say "Call me if you need anything" only two cousins and one friend actually follow…"
Sep 9, 2016
pamela winmill replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im sorry for your loss, know what your going through, but good god what an a hole! Obviously  they dont have any brain cells, my hubbie often stopped for a pint on his way home, he would pick our son up on the way it was their time together…"
Sep 9, 2016
Oleta Cato replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Same thing here.  Not only the same but a FRIEND of my husband's asking me how much $$$ John left me, were my home and cars paid for?  He wanted to know HOW MUCH I HAVE.  I wanted to tell him to kiss my behind.  My husband…"
Sep 8, 2016
Rhiannon Thomas-Bethel replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My husband was killed on his motor bike on his way home from work 9 months ago. He had stopped at a 'watering hole' for a drink before heading home. I had a "close" friend email me several weeks after his death to tell me it was…"
Sep 8, 2016
pamela winmill replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"5 months for me Ruthie, every day gets worse i have walked out of a so called friends house because they said at least you got to have a holiday together before he died, and then her husband raised his glass and said to our so called "friends…"
Sep 7, 2016
Ruthie replied to pamela winmill's discussion people's attitudes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I do not think anyone knows what H_LL it is like until they go through it and only if they Love that person as much as you did your husband.  This is worse than any physical pain.  I am glad you got to experience that kind of intense…"
Sep 7, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Married for 48 years
About my Loss:
My husband went for a walk and died

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At 8:02am on April 9, 2016, Mel Royer said…

I am so sorry for your loss, Pamela. I too lost my Nancy last April 29th. She died in my arms. Her heart just stopped beating.  As I approach the first year without her, I realize how much I was defined by her. Now that she's gone,I truly feel as though I am half a person. I pray that you will find some comfort in the wonderful memories those 48 years brought to you. Everyone here knows how you are feeling and are always ready to help when asked. In this earliest stage of your grief, take care of yourself, eat when you can and distract yourself with activities or just get out of the house. But cry when you need to and let the grief run it's course. You'll always have the love of that special person you lost but it will still hurt. Eventually, I am told, it will ease and you will integrate the ups and downs of that emotional roller coaster into your daily life. After nearly a year, I do have moments of peace and calm and I take those moments to remember the best times I had with my dear soulmate. God Bless you and may you experience "the peace that passeth all understanding" as you grieve your deep loss. 

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
Sunday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Saturday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

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