"Morgan, yes. It is very difficult. Do you have family near you? Thank God for your neighbor who was kind enough to visit you in your time of need. One thing I've learned through this experience is that when I feel…"
"Rose, I'm sorry for your loss. I was married for 41 years ....always hoped to reach our 50th, but never did. Joe has been gone since september, 2015....seems like yesterday. That's great that you have…"
I'm so sorry. Your husband was so young. It is very hard to imagine life without our precious husbands. We can help each other here. I am very grateful for this site. I am free to express my feelings, because I…"
"I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. That has to be the worst type of loss.....most unexpected. I lost my husband unexpectedly, but he was at the emergency room at the hospital. We did lose our son unexpectedly at home. (From a…"
"My friend just lost her husband before Thanksgiving. I'm trying to reach out to her, because I know how she feels, but she does not seem to want to respond. She's keeping very busy! I feel bad for her, but I guess…"
"This is my third Christmas without Joe. I miss him more each year. I realize how precious he was. Wish he could be here at least a few hours each day with me ! (Physically, so I can hold him agsin). "
"Feeling lonely today. I get really upset because friends haven't been in contact. I keep telling myself that they have their own lives, but I am not accepting that at this time! Is that selfish? I miss Joe so much. He was my best friend here on…"
"Jennifer, there is really nothing you can do about family and friends who say they know what you are going through. We both know that they can't possibly feel what we feel until it happens. I just remind them to tell each other…"
"I do agree, Trials do not come from God. That does not mean we won't have trials.
I agree with James 1:13 and 1corinthians :10:13
Jesus helps me adjust my views. As most of us know, when I am weak, then He is strong (2corinthians…"
"Well-meaning people may say, “Jesus took your loved one away,” but that can cause people – especially children – to be angry at God. 1 Corinthians 15:26 says death is our last enemy. Therefore, we can say, “Death took…"
"Just a few thoughts regarding faith; Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
That doesn't mean that we…"
"Kim, I can see why you miss him so much. He was a wonderful man who touched a lot of lives, that's how my husband, Joe, was. Everywhere he went he touched someone's life. He had a gift of encouragement, and made strangers feel like they…"
Elynn, I am big on praying too. I find that when I'm just about ready to give up and end it all, I start praying. I don't even know who I'm praying to, I just start talking. I do beg and plead. Oh boy do I! I beg that Rocky will come see me in my dreams. It never happens, at least not the way I thought.
I don't know. I get so sad reading these posts where everyone has been years into this and yet they are still in so much pain. That is what I have to look forward to? I can't stand it.
But I keep plodding along. I go to a job I hate, but one that I need. I try to get involved in a hobby, but then drop it because it just feels stupid. I spend all my weekends alone except for my pets. No one calls, no one knows whether I'm alive or dead. So what do we do?
I am so sorry that you are having to be here on this site because like all of us you too are searching for ways to manage the pain of what has just happened. I lost my husband of 35 years three years ago and it is taking me along time to try and reconstruct any kind of life for myself. I have after this long come to the conclusion that we never get over the death of our spouse. If it was a deep connection no matter the time we spent the loss is unbearable. All we can do is try to take tiny steps towards doing basic tasks like hygiene, eating and getting our financial affairs in some sort of order (which is a herculean task in and of itself) and let the rest of the world work itself out because we don't have the energy anymore to do much else.
I ended up having to sell our home and relocate which was difficult although we had lived several places during our marriage it wasn't like I was giving up a special location it was just that it meant I was packing up and moving to be alone. It was hell. But I could not have afforded to stay where I was. Now I find it has nothing to do with location because all that love was inside me not outside me. So downsizing and coming to a new place was not the pain so much as it was the emptiness of him.
Now having had some time pass I still have really hard days. I truly know they will never stop. But I have days thankfully where the pain of the first couple years has subsided. It's unimaginable that a human being can live through years of the kind of pain I have been experiencing. And I cant say I am out of the woods either. The fog can easily descend on me and I have no control just like I had no control for the first two years.
I don't want to make this any worse than it is I am just trying to provide a little tiny bit of perspective on what is a horrible nightmare. That your brain will slowly, ever so slowly, find a few places where it will turn off the pain and allow you some relief. I don't count it as recovery I just count it as the release from the ongoing pain. Anything I can get now that allows me to function without feeling as though I am about to explode is welcome.
41 years is a very long time to get used to another person. No matter what the more difficult parts were (and we all had them) the loss of that individual flesh and body who held us close to them in so many ways is not soothing the brain or giving us reason to live. Until we are given our ticket out we, each of us, bear this tremendous burden and still breathe.
This site (and there are others, although I find this one the best for communicating between individuals) will be a lifeline that I have used to keep myself from digging too deep into the hole. It somehow helps to know that your own misery is also someone else's.
I hope you will find a bit of the light that you will need by walking with us and sharing your grief because we do all understand.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
""Something else that I thought about today... I wish so much that my mom had lived as long as Bluebell's."
"but I also realize that is of no comfort to Bluebell. Once you lose your mom, she is gone. There is no easy…"
"I have not contacted any mediums yet they contact me. I seem to be a bit of a burden to my Wife lol. The constant grieving and crying is apparently quite annoying. I've deeply divulged in the necromantic arts and I now understand why it is not…"
"I went to a medium after my Husband passed away, she was right on the mark. I am going to see her again this fall. her name is Sherri Silvers and happens to live in St. Augustine, Fl by me and she has been on quite a few TV shows."
i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on…"
"Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered…"
I agree with your post, that I will not be reunited with my Husband
Julian if I take my own live and I would devastate my family.
All we can do is wait for our time to come, which I hope is soon. "
"Avi yes she was so young, my heart aches for you.
Brett, you are right sometimes I see people who are older and still have their parents, I and think to myself wow that should be my mom.
Like you said there is no easy way out of…"
"I hope it goes well, too, Avi. I still have a long way to go but I can tell you that crying is good. At least it was for me. It's a release and also an expression of love. I think I feel closer to my mom when I cry. Even if not closer to her…"
"Yesterday night was not great for me. I was thinking that my mom went early, she was only 66 when she died. I also cried in the morning after almost 4-5 days. Sometimes you just want do anything other than feeling grief. Day has just started and I…"
"Trevy, Of course it is difficult to hear of others success in managing their grief where some of us feel so helpless. It doesnt mean that your experience is any less or more relevant to someone elses. We all deal with loss…"
"Theresa, I wish I could do more. We all have different stories. We can tell each other not to feel guilty about so many things, but I realize that you cannot un-see what you saw, and I realize that just the timing of your mom's death was beyond…"