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Comment by Brett Bowman on October 8, 2019 at 1:39am

Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly don't want her to be sad. What is powerful for me is knowing that my mom would want me to pull myself out of this and live my life. That gives me inspiration to try. Maybe it will get better one day. I'll keep taking baby steps.

Comment by Avi on October 8, 2019 at 1:22am

How are you all doing? 

I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother. 

Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your emotions. So if you cry a lot, they will also be disheartened but they cannot do anything. It is like you have gone to another country, your mother calls you and says that she is unwell but you cannot come immediately. You will be disturbed so consider the soul who cannot do anything seeing their loved ones cry. 

This made me rethink my emotions. 

Have a nice day all. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 21, 2019 at 12:21am

Hi, Avi. I hope that we are all doing great as well. That's a lot to hope for. When I first lost my mom, the idea of doing great seemed impossible, and it still seems like it is an incredibly hard task. I think of what we are experiencing now is our "new normal." I can't speak for everyone here, but no matter what good happens in our lives, we will always feel a tremendous void. That is the natural course of life though. No one ever hid the reality that as we got older, folks that we loved would die. We always knew, but maybe we thought that would always be tomorrow, not today. Our today came.

I had a very bad dream about my mom. She was on the other side of my bedroom door. She was calling for help. I couldn't get up. In my case, it's my own anxiety that causes these dreams. You can't hide from what is truly inside of you. Even in sleep. Grief forces you to deal with it. It will not be ignored.

It is so great that you feel that your mom is near. Use that. Talk to her. Tell her that you love her and miss her. And take comfort in the knowledge that she hears you.

Comment by Avi on September 20, 2019 at 9:50pm

Hi All

Hope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. 

Comment by SelV on September 9, 2019 at 1:26am

Towards the end of August, I dreamt about my parents. I had many pleasant dreams about my mother since April. Never dreamt of my father so that was the first. My parents were getting married...either celebrating their 60th or 75th wedding anniversary. It was a very happy occasion. My parents were all decked up and smiling away on the dais. I could clearly see my mother grinning and showing off her pearly whites and all. If my parents were alive till today, they would have celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary in July. I hope my mother or both my parents come in my dreams regularly...well at least I see them alive there...my daylights are a living nightmare!

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 8, 2019 at 8:39pm

Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay your life and ask yourself where your joy lies. Let that little baby keep you going. No one can fill the void of the love you lost better than her.

SelV, I understand and appreciate all of that.

Comment by SelV on September 8, 2019 at 8:27pm

Hi Avi...grief comes in waves. When, how or what triggers it...we don't know. Come 15 Sept, it would be 18 months since my mother left me. When my father left me almost 18 years ago, he took a quarter of my energy level with him. When my mother left, she took half of my energy level with her. What's remaining is just a quarter which I spent crying. I don't feel like getting up in the morning, doing the morning chores, go to work, cook, eat or even do household chores. But because I am still alive, I force myself to do things...just going through the motions. I have estranged myself from my siblings, colleagues and even friends. They will never understand. I don't expect them to either. I have to deal with the guilt, regrets, grief and depression...smiling depression all by myself. I have no interest in living and waiting for the day when my mother calls me. I like what Brett said in one of his posts 'soul sick'. That's what I am too. Your daughter...she is your blessing. Take care!

Comment by Avi on September 8, 2019 at 7:58am

Hi All, 

Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world. 

Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me will not understand. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 3, 2019 at 2:24pm

Thanks, Sue. I will look into this.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 30, 2019 at 12:07pm

Thank you, Sue.

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