I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 622
Latest Activity: 21 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Fired my grief therapist 2 Replies

Started by HelenB. Last reply by HelenB on Tuesday.

My mother was the GREATEST!!!! 8 Replies

Started by Nick. Last reply by HelenB on Tuesday.

Losing my mom at a young age 7 Replies

Started by Sarah . Last reply by Lisa Green Apr 21.

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Comment by rhonda jean 21 hours ago
Ps to Lisa: feel no guilt in doing what you need to do. I feel the same way about celebrating, and you have every right in the world to do what feels right for you. In my heart i feel peace will come to us all someday and we will feel like celebrating their lives and legacies, each in our own due time!
Comment by rhonda jean 21 hours ago
Thank you all so much for responding. It is so nice to hear the ways in which you all are trying to cope in your own ways. I understand how tough it is and I wish you all some solace and peace in knowing how much you were cherished and loved. This is what I hold on to...that my lovely mom loved me and my children fiercely and would want me to enjoy them, no matter how much I and they may be missing her! I plan to visit her mom, my nana, unless she runs off to a casino somewhere lol. She is now 89 and going through her second round chemo in 2 years. An amazing and inspiring lady whom I know my mom would want me to be there for when she cannot do so herself.
My thoughts and prayers will also be with you all on this beautiful yet difficult day!
Comment by Nancy Dynes yesterday
Last year we buried my mom the day before Mothers Day. We spent Mothers Day driving from Iowa back to South Carolina, me crying all the way. My husband asked me how he could help. I wanted to stop near Gatlinburg to walk by the river. It was out of the way, but we've been going there several times a year since our children
were babies. There is a cabin on a mountain river there where I
always feel I can restore my soul. My husband took me and I let
the sound of the river soothe my grief, even as I wept. He told me he felt it was time to buy our very own cabin. I think he wanted
to give me something positive to focus on. We called a realtor that very day and closed on our cabin in July. I've found getting away to the cabin has helped me in my grieving process. The memories at home (my mom's brain cancer diagnosis and last, horrifying days in a medicated coma in hospice) often overwhelm me.

This year we are spending Mothers Day weekend at our cabin with our grown children and young grandchildren. On Mothers Day we will picnic in the mountains by the river. I will have pictures of my mom on the table. I will take joy in watching my grandchildren enjoying the same place that we have loved for so many years. I will remember my mom and let the sound of the river soothe my soul once again.
Comment by sheryl gay yesterday

My husband has made reservations for a nice Sunday brunch with our son, who is going to University an hour away. Will miss my other son (twin) he is at a University in Saint Louis. Last year my husband which loves to cook made my mom & her fiance a delicious brunch very special. It's going to be hard it will be 8 months on Mother's Day, I found her passed from a massive heart attack> So many people couldn't believe it she was so pretty, never looked her age. Miss my mom everyday, but very blessed that I could involve her in my kids lives. Her last day was with my son(which lives close to my mom) they had dinner together and had a great time! That is such a blessing!! it helps with my grieving.

Comment by HelenB on Tuesday
Lisa- my dad has dementia and is completely lost now & my family totally fell apart since my mom's death & the time leading up to it. It's like they all were killed in a car crash. So, my dad's personality has changed & he used to be fun and mellow and he his angry. My siblings stress him out & scare me. So, I won't be having Mother's Day again and I doubt I'll be able to even see my dad on Father's Day or his birthday. I'm so heartbroken.
Comment by Lisa Green on Tuesday

It occurred to me yesterday that I will never again have the chance to make memories with my Mom. All the memories I have with her is all I am ever going to have. That was a hard reality. My Mom loved me in a way that I can only compare as being as close as the love of God will ever be. She poured out love and tenderness to me and my brothers and sister. My Dad is so completely lost that his grief has made him rude and hateful most of the time. He had a lot of this before Mom passed but now, we just want to be able to call him and get that same kind of acceptance and unending love that Mom gave always and he tries but its just not the same. He would do anything for us kids but he does it complaining and that's hard to handle. We want to help him and just be with him but its hard. I guess I am looking for something that just won't ever be again in my life. Its that complete and utter acceptance from Mom. 

Rhonda; this will be my first Mother's Day without Mom. I will be in church (most likely crying) just like Mom and I always was before on Sunday mornings. Then, I'm going to her house to have a cookout with my dad and brother and sister and plan to plant an azalea bush in her honor. I will also be visiting her grave site at the cemetery and I hope to install the garden bench by her grave that she requested in a letter to me about her wishes if she ever passed. Last weekend, I laid a cement foundation for the bench and the bench itself is laying in my living room floor. I feel like it's one of the last things I can do for her. She wrote that she wanted a bench at her grave site so that her kids could sit and tell her about our lives. So, that's what I am going to do. That evening, I am going out to eat with my husband and his mother though I don't feel much like celebrating. I'm feeling a little guilty already about that and the fact that I am not traveling to my kids's dad's to pick them up as I always do. It's 3 hours away and usually I get them on Friday and take them back on Sunday.  This year I'm just not going to travel on Mother's Day. I'm hoping that my teenage kids understand that. I don't know if they do. 

Comment by jill smith on Tuesday

Hi Rhonda,

Last year was my first Mother's Day without my mom. I planned a few things that day that helped me get through the day. My mom loved lemons and lemon trees. So we planted a lemon tree in her honor. We also cooked one of her favorite meals that she loved to make us growing up. We also got helium balloons and we wrote messages to her. 

This year I plan on doing the same...I think I am going to get an angel for my garden. I have a spot in my yard that has some of her plants. 

It is a hard holiday to endure. I will pray for everyone here. 

Comment by Megan on Tuesday
Mother's Day was a few weeks ago in Ireland. I spent it with my husband's family. It was not great, but the day was never going to be great regardless of what I did. I feel that staying busy was probably better than staying at home and being miserable. Xx
Comment by rhonda jean on Tuesday
I would like to ask you all a question. How will you all spend mothers day? My mom died just prior to mothers day last year and i am fairly sure I was still in shock. This year I am stillactively grieving and I just cannot bear the idea of mothers day without her. We actually used to go out on Monday or Tuesday after mothers day to shopand do stuff...she tended to be with her mom (off gambling usually lol) on the Sunday and i was with my 3 girls. I can honestly say i want to skip it this year but my daughters and husband would be upset and I dont want that. BIG SIGH...what to do?
So I thought I would reach out to you all and see how any of you have coped or planned to on this difficult day.
Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.
Comment by HelenB on Tuesday
Thx nancy, I need a lot more than prayers, but thank you.

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