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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Dealing with depression? 12 Replies

Started by Eliza. Last reply by Kisha Aug 4.

Advice regarding my Dad. 4 Replies

Started by David Mc Mahon. Last reply by Marcia Boozer Jun 11.

Lost 2 mom with in a year.

Started by Carolynn Michelle Streater. Jun 3.

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Comment by Melisa C on Friday

I haven't posted in a while, my mom passed in January 2013. I can relate to a lot that I read here. Many times I feel bitter and jealous when I see people who still have their moms and still have that bond in their lives.

I wasn't promised that mom would live forever, but still it's incredibly unfair that she passed away just like that, had I realized she wasn't ok she'd be with me now. Didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

It's not something that I'll get over from, I wonder how the next years are going to be like.

Comment by Casey on Friday

Andre, I understand about the being jealous part completely. I truly do believe when our loved one died too young and too soon, we die as well. Its very hard to reorient one's life and find another reason to live , for me anyways. I found it very hard to accept that for the rest of my life i wont see my mother again. Its just not something i can really move past.

Comment by Danny on Thursday

'In this day in age there are people doing a lot worse things to their parents than being a little verbally abusive'.  Yes I would agree with that one. 

Comment by Danny on Thursday

Yes Andre it is tough to find a reason to go on but just go through the motions for now and postpone any major decisions till much later.  Its tough anyway but way tougher at your age so take it very slow. Write to me if you wish to.

Comment by Andre Clark on Thursday

I try to remain positive Casey, but everyday is different as you all know. I hate to admit that I have become extremely jealous since I lost my mom. When I see senior citizens I get jealous. When I see adults in public with their mothers I get jealous. When I learn that a coworker that's 20-30 years older than me still has his mother I get jealous. Each day I have to fight those evil spirits. All I have left is faith that she's in a better place and I have to try to get there. I'm very new to religion, but it helps me cope with the loss of my mom. 

The one phrase I notice from people online and in the real world is that we all felt like we could of treated our mothers better. We could of been a little nicer. As for myself I always had a hot temper and when I get mad...watch out. I recall one phone conversation with my mom I got real upset over nothing, but she stayed cool. Once we got off the phone I called her back within 5 minutes to apologize. She responded by saying "don't worry about it...I know you was just upset". Then she told me she loved me then we got off the phone again. We all could of been a little nicer, but we shouldn't feel too bad about being verbally abusive...in my opinion. I beat myself up about not being nicer to my mom, but at the end of the day I was nice to her, but there was moments I wasn't nice. I know she knew that I loved her. In this day in age there are people doing a lot worse things to their parents than being a little verbally abusive. That's just me two cents. 

The hardest part for me right now is blocking out the pain that she went through and replacing them with good memories.

PS. My first birthday without her is 3 weeks away and I'm going to be off work for my birthday. Any advice on what I should do?

Comment by Danny on October 12, 2014 at 3:52pm

In fact any loss it is tough to relate unless the person has experienced it but a parent is a parent.  It is normal to feel that our lives have also ended so just going through the motions for now may be the way. 

Comment by Casey on October 12, 2014 at 3:41pm

and to echo everyone's feelings, its true, its impossible to understand or relate to someone's losing their mother unless they experienced the same loss..

Comment by Casey on October 12, 2014 at 3:39pm

Kristin, I can really relare to you because I have no father as well and my mom was/is my everything. I wanted nothing in life except to be with her and take care of her but she cant efen live till her senior years and she suffered so much pain in her last year from cancer..i live with this overwhelming loss everyday and I also have great regrets i didnt appreciate and treat her better ..i have such a strong bond to my mother, people say my life is just starting and I am young but to me, I feel like my life has ended in a huge way because  I cannever be with my mom again in this lifetime.

Comment by Danny on October 12, 2014 at 5:12am

Best to you all.  Yes 30 years is too short for most of us to lose a parent at that age.  Please write to me any of you if you need to talk.

I am always eager to have a network of people with me on this journey.

Comment by Kristin Renee on October 12, 2014 at 3:06am

30 years... it sounds like a long time. But in context of a mother's love it is simultaneously infinitesimal and incalculable. Truly nothing compares. I never had my father's love so I could not know. My Mother was EVERYTHING and I appreciated it much too late. Oh how I wish I could show her just how much she meant to me. How amazing a person she was. She was so unappreciated, she suffered so. I made it my personal life mission to help her so when she died...I took it as failure. I failed her. In the worst possible way. I was the last person to see her, the last chance she had at salvation. Nothing I ever do or say can change that. Nothing will erase the enormous regret, as long as I live.

 

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