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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 672
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

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My Mom's Journey. 2 Replies

Started by Jennifer. Last reply by Theresa Mar 12.

Fired my grief therapist 4 Replies

Started by HelenB. Last reply by BLUEBELL Mar 4.

Participate in research to help grieving children 4 Replies

Started by Veronica. Last reply by Veronica Jan 18.

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Comment by BLUEBELL 3 hours ago

Theresa

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right.

I pray that you find some enjoyment on your day off.

Sending hugs and love you way,

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa 6 hours ago

Bluebell, being a hospice nurse has to be tough

I think you are right because of your own experience you will be stronger than you think.

I am off today and I am going to run errands it helps to occupy my mind, but not completely.

 

Comment by BLUEBELL 14 hours ago

I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my Mom. My plan now is to start work again at the end of May, beginning of June. I am afraid though that because of the nature of my job( a Hospice RN), it is going to tear me apart when one of my patients dies. Maybe not though. Maybe I will be okay. Maybe I will even have more to offer the patient and their families because of my own experience of bringing Mom home from the hospital on Hospice. I know what a tough decision it was for me even though I knew all the signs were pointing that way.

Mom only lived  a day and a half before she passed away at home. I am glad I ask my family to come from out of town to be with her right away instead of waiting. That way, they did have some quality time with her while she was alert and knew them. 

I have to say that I had no idea how profoundly my Mother's death would effect me. I thought I would be prepared. I knew I would grieve, but the intensity of the sense of loss and the feeling of being alone is more than I can put into words.

Bluebell

Comment by Heather 15 hours ago
Hi Theresa,
It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started working with a new student this year and it has challenged me beyond words... I have come home from work so incredibly sad. I would sit in bed and just cry. This is the first time in over 20 years of working with children that I am questioning if I should stay in this field. I am so apathetic. I want to care and go the extra mile ( like I used to) but I have nothing left in reserve. I can't quit, because I finally have a benefit plan and some job security. My family relies on that security as do I. I have the option of posting out of the school and starting over with another student but the concern there is that I could end up with a child that needs even more than the student I have now. Lots to think about, but (like you) I keep praying to my Mom asking for her help and guidance. Hopefully, our Mom's can find away to show/help us find the right path. Thinking of you and hoping you find the answers you need. Take good care, Theresa.
Heather
Comment by Theresa 15 hours ago
Heather
I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania
You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone
Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I don't care but I'm hoping my attitude changes
I probably shouldn't say this I've been at my job for 16 years I can't deal with people anymore I've had it it's a thankless job sadly enough
I pray every day for God to please help me and then I say to my mom please mom I need you now help me through this
Comment by Heather 17 hours ago
Hi Theresa,
I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to go be with my mom at the hospital). I had to tell people on the first day back in September what had happened. As you can imagine, that was a real conversation stopper:-(. I've never really formed any meaningful relationships at work or clicked with anyone, so I've spent this year with no one to talk to about the many stages and faces of my grief. It's probably not professional to bring it to work any way, but still it would have made a world of difference to have a friendly face on those bad days. It really is true that people are so self absorbed in their own problems. I guess I'm that way too, since I just can't relate to others and feel so negative since mom died. Who really wants to be around that?! I'm hoping that this too shall pass and the colour will come back when the time is right. I know when we had a beautiful sunny day a few days ago (we have had some miserably wet weather the last month or so), I felt lighter and happier than I had in a long while. It was a GOOD:-) day! Then it was rainy again:-(! That's the way it goes, I guess:-p...Sorry to ramble, but just wanted you to know that I understand your feelings.
Wishing you peace, always
Heather
Comment by Theresa 17 hours ago

No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now.

Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one

I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so unfazed it just amazes me.  I'm like hello your mom just died and all  you care about is what is real and what is not in her jewelry collection.

Someone at work today told me I am always in a mood, I was thinking to myself please give me a break, he lost his dad three years ago, he was adopted and he just carries on....

I talk to my mom all the time and ask her please help me.

Maybe I'm selfish, but right now I don't care.   :)!

Comment by BLUEBELL yesterday

My best friends parrot died yesterday and it is hitting me very hard. I am not dealing with it well right now. Lots of tears and sadness. Will this never stop? I do not think it is all about the parrot. It is tied in with my Mom's death somehow. I am supporting my friend though this the best that I can. but my own issues keep creeping in. Does that make me a selfish person? I do not want to be.

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa yesterday

Nancy yes I do and I am glad that I found this site, because I know that I am not alone.

Bluebell, Nancy is right it will be a tough few months, sometimes when I am driving, I say mom I miss you so much

Rhonda glad to see you are back, ,may I ask about your mom?

Comment by Nancy Dynes yesterday
I completely agree, Rhonda.
 

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