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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Its hard accepting my mother's death 6 Replies

Started by Crystal K. Last reply by Luisa Salter Sep 23.

A very special tribute to a mothers love 5 Replies

Started by Paul Kealy. Last reply by Luisa Salter Sep 19.

Song to my mom 2 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Panda Jul 27.

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Comment by Brett Bowman 19 hours ago

I was so glad that I was able to do everything my mom needed as a caretaker but that did not make her death any easier. I still lost her. I still have the finality of death in my mind that hits me every day like a sledge hammer. And it's the same with Boo Bear. That little dog was under my feet for years. And then in a split second she was gone.

Take Abby to see him. Don't tell him about the tumors until you absolutely have to. It's horrible. I had to tell my mom that she was dying. I had to explain to her what it meant to go on Hospice care. I had to wrap up little Boo Bears stiff body in a towel and take her to the vet for disposal. I had to hand her over to someone else. I had to watch the funeral home take away my mom's body on Christmas Eve.

I wish all of you well. That's all I can do is to pray for each of you. And I wish that the world could understand what it means when a person loses someone, or a pet, that they love so much. There is no time frame for mourning. I don't know when or if it ends. I know for sure that it will end on our final day.

I hope and pray that each of us will know love, peace, strength, and happiness until that day comes. I pray that each of you has someone to love you. Being truly loved is the greatest blessing on earth. We all had that with our moms. That is so hard to lose. And next to my mom, I have never experienced love like I have from my little dogs.

Comment by Lisa Green 19 hours ago

Brett, 

Life is so hard and it's definitely not fair. No one should ever have to lose their Mom at any age. 

My mom has been gone for 20 months and I still miss her terribly and I do still talk to her out loud in my car. It makes me feel closer to her I guess. 

Emotions have been high for me these past few weeks because after mom died last year, within a few months, my dad showed some huge signs of dementia/Alzheimer disease. He has a lot of heart issues and diabetes. His dementia has now been diagnosed and for the past 3-4 weeks he was hospitalized and is now in a skilled nursing facility for rehab. I don't think he will be able to come home and I don't know how to tell him that. I feel so guilty for him being there but I know that he's safe and getting the medical attention he needs that I can't provide for him but it feels like I'm losing him now after just losing my mom last year. Saturday I took his dog (boxer) to the vet to have shots so I could take her to see my dad and the nursing home and the vet discovered some tumors on her that have a high chance of being cancer. So, I will probably lose "Abby dog" soon too. 

Life is definitely NOT fair. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on Sunday

Luisa, the best advice I can give you is to be the best caretaker that you can be. Remember, your daughter loves you the same way that you loved your mom at that age. God has given you a tremendous blessing to love on and take care of. There is your happiness. There is your reason to get up each morning. That truly is the circle of life.

Being without little Boo Bear is devastating. That little dog, no matter what life threw at her... she was blind, had diabetes, but she was always happy as long as she was with her daddy. As long as I would give her a scratch and a cuddle she was good to go. I miss that little wet nose and holding her little face next to mine. I just miss her. I just love her and I can't believe that she is gone. It's only been a couple of days since I could pet her and call her my little Boo Bear. It doesn't seem real and it sure doesn't seem fair.

Comment by Luisa Salter on Sunday

I can't imagine losing one of my Mom's pets, Brett this must be devastating to you. My Mom has two cats, they went up to Washington to live with her sister because I could not take them. It was really hard when they left. It was especially hard on my daughter because they were her playmates when we were at my Mom's, which was a lot.

Today I am feeling devastated myself. I feel the huge emptiness in my heart. Preparing for the memorial I've been looking at photos, hearing music that reminds me of her. But the worst part is...it's been over 6 weeks since I've seen her or talked to her, and I just have this feeling of panic, like I need to see her. When I was little I had a lot of separation anxiety when I was away from my Mom. It feels like that again. I just cry and cry, telling my Mom out loud that I miss her, I need her, I wasn't ready. I just can't imagine what life is going to be like without her. I don't know what I will do, who I will turn to. She loved me more than anyone ever has, probably more than anyone ever will. I don't want to be stuck in these feelings but sometimes, like today, I feel like the grief is consuming me. I have a daughter to take care of and I have to work and take care of my life. But this grief is just huge. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on Saturday

I'll be honest with you Luisa. As tough as my mom's funeral and arrangements were, I realized later that I was still in a state of shock when they occurred. I cannot remember very much about those days.

You are right about losing Boo. This is the first time I have ever lost a pet without my mom being here to grieve with me and comfort me. And losing Boo was a very bad trigger. These were my mom's dogs. They were beside me throughout my mom illness and they were my best friends. I couldn't have asked for better buddies, and they have been such an incredible blessing since mom's passing. Plus, I loved Boo with all of my heart. I have never had an animal rely on me like she did. And now I look at her sister and I am just scared to death that she will be gone tomorrow. And Boo's death was so hard. If she had to pass, I wish it could have been quickly. She suffered. She was confused and scared. I will remember that for the rest of my life. All I want is to put her up on my lap and just hug her. It can't be. I can only hope and pray that I will see her and my mom again, in a place where no one ever dies and you never have to say goodbye.

That will always be my hope for me, for you, for all of us.

Comment by Luisa Salter on Saturday
Brett I'm so sorry about losing Boo. I have lost pets before also and it's very painful. terrible that you have to deal with it while you are still deep in grief over losing your Mom. Hugs
Try to believe that God will give you what you need to get through each day. That's where I'm at right now. With the arrival of fall weather here in Oregon, more memories of my mother and a new layer of grief have surfaced. She loved the fall and Halloween was he favorite holiday.
Next weekend will be Mom's memorial service. I've been working on that today, it's really hard going through and choosing photos, flowers etc.
Comment by Brett Bowman on Thursday

Thanks, Lisa. I also feel like death is all around me. Boo's sister is still alive but every time I look at her I feel like she is going to leave me, too.

It's hard. I have never had a little dog rely on me the way that Boo did. She was always close enough to me to bump her little wet nose against me when she needed me. What I wouldn't give to feel that again. 

Comment by Lisa Green on Thursday

Brett,

I can relate to your post a lot. I lost my Mom Feb. 2016 and in June that same year my cat of eight years died. Always before when someone would talk about the pain of losing their pet, I couldn't fully understand that until it happened to me and so soon after my Mom's death. It brought up a lot of feelings that were really hard to deal with. I felt like death was all around me and what was the purpose of living only to die. I don't feel that way now but those feelings were really strong then. I did get another a few months later and while he doesn't take the place of the one I lost, I have feel in love with him just as much and I think I actually appreciate him and all his cuddles even more. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 10, 2017 at 3:56pm

Not well. Losing little Boo was hard enough because I loved her so much, but it also opened up a floodgate of memories. We can't go back. Not even for a day. What I wouldn't give to snuggle with that little bundle of fur right now. I can't. Just like mom. I can't.

Comment by BLUEBELL on October 10, 2017 at 12:02pm

Brett,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog Boo Bear. That has got to be hurting you to your core. How are you doing? I mourned all of my pet's when they have pass away. But because this was your Mom's pup, it seems like it would be especially hard. My heart goes out to you. 

Bluebell 

 

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