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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 461
Latest Activity: Aug 12

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Dealing with depression? 12 Replies

Started by Eliza. Last reply by Kisha Aug 4.

Advice regarding my Dad. 4 Replies

Started by David Mc Mahon. Last reply by Marcia Boozer Jun 11.

Lost 2 mom with in a year.

Started by Carolynn Michelle Streater. Jun 3.

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Comment by Deb on August 8, 2014 at 11:39pm

I lost my mother on June 25th 2014, We removed her life support, And I held her hand, as she struggled to breathe, She opened her eyes for the first time in a week, and tried to talk, we could see the letter n form, she said it a few times, and we watched as her life slipped away, I have a horrible quilt inside me, that I can't get through. I break down everyday, I can't imagine it ever getting easier. I feel so empty. I took a clipping of her hair, and I have that part of her with me, with so many memories of dinners and get together s , And yes we had many arguments through the years , The one thing I wish we had, was we were not a hugging family, I wished I could hold and hug her so hard, and I hope she knows I loved her so much. with out differences, Today I wished I could just lay down and sleep forever, Antidepressants do not take the pain, and the sadness from my heart. I have no energy to do anything. I just think, and hope there is an after life! Because I have no faith that there is. And my mother is just laying in the darkness of the vault that is closed around her body.   Will I ever see her again, besides in my dreams and in pictures

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on August 8, 2014 at 12:40am

Ron, you have gone through an incredible amount of loss in your life. After my dad and mom passed I went briefly to a grief counselor. Just talking about it helped me. So, I think it's a great idea for you to seek professional help. Sometimes the pain can be hard to bear. We are all hear to talk with you and help you through. Because we know all to well about loss. I am praying for you to find the help you need. You have taken care of everyone, now it's time for you to grieve and eventually begin the healing process.  You will get through this. I don't think we ever get over losing our mom's. They are with us in our hearts forever. But I know you will get through it...

Comment by Ron B on August 6, 2014 at 4:11pm

I think I need to get myself some professional help with my grief..I have had clinical depression for years as it is, but I have always had a purpose...I helped my mom take care of my dad until he passed away in 1995. then my girlfriend and I helped take care of my grand father until he passed in 2002..Then I moved in with grandma to take care of her and my girlfriend would come over to watch her while I was at work until grandma passed in 2006..Then I took care of my girlfriend who had numerous health issues until she passed away in 2008 after 11 years together, then I had 3 cousins and one cousins husband pass away in between, and then I spent the last 12 years taking care of mom up until her death 2 weeks ago.    Now I woke up today totally depressed thinking what is my purpose now? I'm about out of relatives, and I went for a drive thinking about driving my van into a wall at 90mph..I have had thoughts of hurting myself for some time, but now its going to intensify..I'm pretty much a loner, have no personal friends, basically I go through the motions of going to work, and coming home and sleep..I think its about time I get some professional help, or i'll burn out and die early myself.

Comment by Danny on August 2, 2014 at 7:08am

Great Sue thanks for writing.  It is really great to hear the path of people who are a bit further along and have a lot to offer as to how it is say 3 years ago or so.  I am finding it useful to read and chat with them as well. 

Comment by Sue Waxman on August 2, 2014 at 6:52am

Hello Friends,

I have not been on here in awhile. My Mom passed 3 years ago June.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing the pain that you are.

It really never leaves you, you do learn to live with it. You will.

My husband of 20 years left me for a younger woman right before Mom got throat cancer. I lost my business, my house... everything.

I will tell you my heart is different now. Kind of difficult to explain.

My advice is to be the best person YOU can be from this moment forward ro prepare your soul for what comes after this world. Take your pain and be humble, be kind, give what you don't need to someone who does. Make your Mom smile. It is that simple. You and I are living on borrowed time to. Pain is meant to be felt .... it is meant to change you. I myself have cried more than I have laughed. But I can still laugh. Honor your Mom. Let her go and be happy. She deserves your blessing and she needs it. I am here for anyone who needs someone. You are not alone.

Comment by Danny on August 1, 2014 at 6:37pm

Indeed it is a long road.

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on August 1, 2014 at 2:13pm

Ron, my mom has been gone for nearly a year (Aug 24th) will be the 1 year mark. And my dad has been gone for nearly two years (Aug 17th). I still find myself wanting to call my mom especially. I still call her phone number and i try and hang up before I hear the disconnect sound. We were so close, and it is still very painful. I work fulltime also, and was given two weeks off w/o pay. I tried to return, but had a hard time, and I ended up being out for over a month. So, I know exactly how you feel. All you can do is take things one hour at a time. I know she'd want me to be strong and go on. And I know your mom wants the same for you. It takes time though.... 

Comment by Joe H on July 31, 2014 at 11:30pm

Jason Gray's new song expresses just how I feel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ullv_XN2d8M

Comment by Ron B on July 31, 2014 at 5:20pm

well my funeral leave is over, and getting ready to go back to work tonight..I really havent grieved yet, but now adding work back into the mix, i'm feeling it now..How mom would give me an 8pm wakeup call every night and knowing tonight at 8pm, there will be no ring..I've caught myself 3 times so far today thinking about giving mom a call, and then it hits me..I dont know if i'm ready to return to work dealing with customers and trying to be smiling and friendly when i'm tearing apart on the inside, but I dont have a choice because I have to earn money to support myself and pay my bills..,I may have to excuse myself and take little breaks to pull myself together...Its going to be a rough night, but I have a lot of rough nights to look forward to after tonight.

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on July 30, 2014 at 12:09am

Ron, I am truly sorry for your loss. Nobody can ever replace our moms. She will live on in your heart and mind always. It is a real hard & devastating thing to go through. I am forever changed. I pray for you to find peace. Losing my parents has been the most painful experience of my life. Message me if you need to talk.

 

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Zell posted blog posts
1 hour ago
Zell commented on anne's blog post I have just lost it
"I totally agree with you Anne.  My gut instinct totally rebelled against the words of the poem and I had to stop reading it because it grieved my spirit.  God does not take our loved ones for his "selfish" reasons and besides,…"
1 hour ago
anne posted a blog post

I have just lost it

I think I just blew a fuse. I generally do my best to be positive, but today I read a post that said that God picks and chooses who lives and who dies.specifically it said that God chooses children to die so that he has younger angels in heaven. That's such crap. I'm so upset I can barely type. Why would a person post poetry like that? How can writings such as that be of any comfort? Obviously the person who wrote that poem knows nothing of which they write. I understand the need to blame God…See More
6 hours ago
anne commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sorry Linda but reading this made me angry. Those words are crap. I don't as a rule reply anything negative, but those words tipped me over the edge. It's just not true. Death is life. God does not pick and choose who lives and who dies.…"
7 hours ago
Elizabeth replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"God ,is as quiet as the people who have died."
7 hours ago
Stanley Ruiz replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"We are all in the same position .We all suffer and it will never be the same .Part of our hearts has been taken away from  us and we  have to continue living and that is what the  loved ones that we buried want us to do.  IT IS…"
8 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"hears 1 hear a lot at funrells coz iv bean 2 so mush 1s its lft behnd is 1s it suffer so t it is"
8 hours ago
Rachel replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Maryanne, I am so sorry for your loss.  There isn't anything anyone can say that will make you feel better.  I am 2 month into my greiving.  I lost my only child suddenly. She was the only beauty in my life.  As I'm…"
8 hours ago
Michelle H replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Maryanne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. Last year, my 41 year old son died very unexpectedly while on a cruise with his wife. Supposedly from a massive heart attack. I feel your pain."
8 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Exactly. It's not only not fair, it is evil and cruel, as far as i'm concerned."
9 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"multi loss has push me 2 far lst 1 wz in july my eyes is full of tears i cnt sea strt i cant  its not fair bluebird we suffer coz of death we do "
9 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"FUCK this goddamn "test"."
9 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"it feals me evn evry 1 else as wel i bet i evn ask ths 1 as well i do"
9 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on Zell's blog post It seems its going to be a long road...
"it is im so lost coz of death 2 mush death u cud say iv had death on/off sisn my dad died 2 mush death  it can push u 2 far death it can"
9 hours ago
dawn larvan replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Hi marine me too :( lost the love of my life 12 weeks ago fit healthy. 50 yr old on holiday,said he felt funny and died of heart attack in front of me so,can't believe it so know how you feel no kids,so all alone don't,know what to do…"
9 hours ago
Stanley Ruiz replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I AM A GAY MAN AND I LOVED ANOTHER MAN  FOR 47 YEARS SINCE COLLEGE DAYS AND WE WERE BUILDING A HOUSE FOR OUR RETIREMENT YEARS AND HOMEI INVADERS ENTERED MY HOME   MY PARTNER CAME TO MY ASSISTANCE AND   ENTERED THE HOUSE WHEN WE WERE…"
9 hours ago
Rachel posted a blog post

THIS PAINFUL JOURNEY ALONE.

I'm only 2 months into my greif.  And I don't see how it's supposse to get better.  I hurt all the time.  I'm still in the denial stage.  I truly don't feel as though my daughter is really gone.  She was my only child.  She was killed in an auto accident.  She was the only beauty in my life.  I was so proud of her.  She graduate college with a bachelors degree in education.  She was all I had; I'm not married and my "little family" is no more.  I will never hear the patter of little feet…See More
10 hours ago
maryanne reel added a discussion to the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
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He is gone and I cant get him back

I walked into the bedroom 2 months ago to tell my husband to come eat his supper was ready. I found him dead I had just seen him about 2 minutes before and had no idea he was suffering in pain. He died of a massive heart attack. We were married 33 years and together 37 and I cant seem to find joy in anything. I throw out a laugh but inside I am so upset. I dont know what to do or where to go is crying all that is left?See More
10 hours ago
Rhona Clyne posted a status
"Mum it's 1/8 and a year ago today we went into an experience that would separate us. You are always in my heart. I love you Mum x"
11 hours ago
Rhona Clyne posted a photo
12 hours ago

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