Richard Rivera
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  • Union City, NJ
  • United States
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TODAY DECEMBER 2nd IS MY FIRST YEAR WITHOUT ANNETTE

Has a year really gone by that fast? I'm sitting outside, the sun is out and TV's weather beutiful. Only I sit alone. Annette and I sat next to each other every day and talked about how the birds…Continue

Started Dec 2, 2017

LOOKING FOR CHILDLESS WIDOW/ERS IN THE HUDSON COUNTY, NEW JERSEY AREA

I  trying to find a grieving group where the members DO NOT HAVE support via family members. Their relatives, their children etc...I'm trying to start a group for those like myself who have no…Continue

Started Nov 30, 2017

MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
6 Replies

This December 2nd will mark the first full year of my wife's death. I am still alone. In the dark. ANd I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my life. A full year and each day feels like the first…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Nov 29, 2017.

TIMES HAVE GOTTEN WORSE... WISH IT WEREN'T SO..
3 Replies

It's been a while since I posted anything. I think I needed to tell others what's been going on since my beloved wife Annette died last December 2nd. We had no children, no friends or relatives. All…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Oct 25, 2017.

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Latest Activity

Frances Koonce replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Dear Richard, it’s been several months since you posted and I’m concerned about your well being.I’ve only been visiting this forum for about a week or so, but I’m trying to learn about others as I know mutual support is…"
Aug 7
Pam and Richard Rivera are now friends
Jul 29
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"It's been almost 2 years now and I still wake up screaming out Annette's name. I am living in terror. I am  living in hell. I even find myself heading toward homelessness soon. I was turned down for a 3rd time for ss disability.…"
Jun 2
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"You are absolutely wrong, at least in terms of trying to apply your view on this to every grieving person. I am not in the least bit confused, I know exactly how I feel, and what I do & don't want. I want my husband -- he is my soulmate, my…"
Jun 1
Robin M Bond replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Hi there, it is very difficult to live alone and spend a whole life in loneliness. I think in every phase of life you need someone who cares for you, make you smile and love you. I think you need to take the help of professionals who can help you…"
Apr 12
Kelley J Lopez replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FIRST BIRTHDAY ALONE...
"I am sorry to hear this. But I wish you happy birthday and good wishes for you."
Jan 10
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

TODAY DECEMBER 2nd IS MY FIRST YEAR WITHOUT ANNETTE

Has a year really gone by that fast? I'm sitting outside, the sun is out and TV's weather beutiful. Only I sit alone. Annette and I sat next to each other every day and talked about how the birds chirp led and squirrels could race past us. Arrying thief munchies to their nests.All that is gone. I sit alone, my breathing today is at it's worse. Even when we were obese we suffered together. It made us appreciate life so much more. Now the pain of grief and body makes life beyond unfulfilling.…See More
Dec 2, 2017
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

LOOKING FOR CHILDLESS WIDOW/ERS IN THE HUDSON COUNTY, NEW JERSEY AREA

I  trying to find a grieving group where the members DO NOT HAVE support via family members. Their relatives, their children etc...I'm trying to start a group for those like myself who have no children, no family or friends. Who have fallen through the cracks and wonder why they keep suffering alone.Tragic tho a loss is, imagine being so alone in the world and in mental and physical pain with little or no hope left -- and no one to help.I want to start a support group for those who have…See More
Nov 30, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"David: I have yet to get the bloodwork results back. I ned to contact the doctor for the follow up this week. I don't know, I keep begging Annette to forgive me, take me with her. I continue even with the first full year of her death I scream…"
Nov 29, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"Hello Richard, Sorry you're not doing well. Hopefully the results of your bloodwork will give your provider somewhere to begin with treatment - what do they say? What kind of work do you do?  If you can't do it anymore, aren't…"
Nov 29, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"David Thank you for responding to my post I don’t know why I am in the condition that I am in but hopefully the bloodwork will be more detailed as always time is running out I could no longer carry this weight of 459 pounds my knees are…"
Nov 29, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"Bless you Richard, You're pulling all my strings. I too cry out for my beloved to come for me and not leave me behind; it's been my worst nightmare. Is there some physical malfunction the reason for your weight gain?  What does your…"
Nov 28, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"I keep screaming into the night. I cry out to Annette to come for me. I beg her not to leave me behind. I wait and wait. My health is such that my morbid obesity has gotten even worse. I have over 15 pounds of lymphatic fluid increase in just a few…"
Nov 28, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"I'm so sorry, Richard The loss of your dear Annette would be more than enough to handle.  You also have health and financial problems, and a job you dislike - all so overwhelming. I understand how you want it all over and be with your…"
Nov 27, 2017
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL

This December 2nd will mark the first full year of my wife's death. I am still alone. In the dark. ANd I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my life. A full year and each day feels like the first day I lost Annette.I go to a job so unfulfilling, where each day I get closer to being let go (for whatever reason). It's a matter of time. My health is now at a point where the fluid sack between my legs has actually grown. The pain is indescribable. I don't know how much longer I have left until…See More
Nov 27, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to bobby parks's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE
"Dear Bobby: I really do feel the agony and suffering you’re going through. I lost my wife December 2nd. We were childless. We had only each other. I live alone. No friends not even a goldfish. Despite your tradegy, you still have a son who so…"
Nov 6, 2017

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.

Comment Wall (5 comments)

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At 5:22pm on May 18, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you are doing better today.  I know how terrible it is to lose the lose you love. Sometimes the grief is unbearable.  I wish I knew how to deal with this terrrible sadness.  I guess we just have to go through it, it's like a storm that has to end. Take care of yourself.   Bev   

At 4:03pm on May 16, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you can begin to accept what has happened to you.  I prey that for myself also.  Life without your love is terrible.  What can we do?  I guess, we try to accept what we cannot change, but for me, right now that doesn't seem possible.  I hope you  can find your way, I hope I can too.  I  keep thinking, "better to love and lost, than not to have loved at all".  Sounds good but doesn't work for me.

At 8:35pm on May 15, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Yesterday, Richard, was a very sad day without my husband celebrating mother's day with me.  As I was lying in bed later in the day, I looke up at the ceiling and I saw a basket of beautiful flowers.  I never had hallucinations in my lifetime, and I don't know what a near death experience is, but I thought I would  share this with you.  Bev

At 8:17pm on December 25, 2016, morgan said…

Its what we all keep praying for Richard.  Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out.  Some hours can be unbearable.  Some minutes we try to breathe.  Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.  

Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long.  I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees.  And yes,  tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar.  We just bear it.  Endure it.  And this time of year is definitely very very hard.  People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge.  Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard.  Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....

At 3:12pm on December 25, 2016, Richard Rivera said…
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.

Richard Rivera's Blog

LOOKING TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE HOW HAS HAD A RECORDED NDE

Hello:

I'm looking to (either in this forum or privately by email) to speak to those of you who have had a NDE. 

I wanted to understand certain aspects of the NDE and hope someone can clarify some questions I have.

I'd be forever grateful...

Thanks

Richard Rivera

Posted on May 15, 2017 at 2:40pm — 4 Comments

 
 
 

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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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6 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
Saturday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
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SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
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Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So I have been really busy at work and with moving, but of course at night when I get in bed I cry and cry. I finally have come to realize this will be the new normal I guess, I do not think I will every stop missing my mom ever..."
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"Pamela Cancer is indeed a plague. Death from cancer is only part of the story. The journey from diagnosis to death is horrific and overwhelming. Even though cancer effects a lot of people, there are so many that just don't understand how…"
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