Richard Rivera
  • Male
  • Union City, NJ
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I was declined assistance for vocational retraining because I don't have any medical records related to my obesity. I was also turned down again for Social Security disability. I am now just waiting for the day that I run out of money which…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I hope they are able to help you, Richard. Hugs."
Monday
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Blue: I'm afraid it's back to the hospital again. I fainted and collapsed onto the floor against the wall. Seems I can feel a growing mass at the base of my neck that's causing incredible pain and I'm losing consciousness…"
Sunday
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't remember if you said you had already tried this, but maybe also try to get the local news involved.  They usually like to do "local interest" stories, and often report on situations in which someone needs help but…"
Apr 19
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Blue: That's a great idea. problem is I still have to qualify based on SS disability and that in itself is becoming dangerously unlikely. I can only pray that I do get help from social services quickly enough since I'll be running out of…"
Apr 19
rachel_micele replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, regarding your question on suicide I will say first off that I don't know what I personally believe on suicide other than I feel it's a fucking rip off one can kill themselves slowly by drugs or other lifestyle choices but to do…"
Apr 19
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, Perhaps you might want to consider getting a live-in health aid or the like, if your county or state would pay for it?"
Apr 18
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I have to have more blood work done and I'm leaving tomorrow morning in the a.m. My nightmares continue. I keep seeing Annettes swollen face and eyelids. M y black outs are getting worse. I really hurt myself when I fainted onto the floor only…"
Apr 18
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I stumbled on a web site and a question was asked which I'm hoping to get an opinion from those here. It may be a taboo subject so please excuse the long question but when I read it, it really hit me with a huge question mark. Question: If a…"
Apr 10
Richard Rivera replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Matthew: Reading your experience was like looking into a mirror. my wife was 54 and I am 52 we were married 12 years. Together 14. I am very hopeful that you will get through your suffering as we try to get through our own as well. Life has…"
Apr 9
Richard Rivera replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Anne I decided to get a printout of my entire medical record history. It shows abnormal EKGs. it shows well above high blood-pressure. it shows more detailed information about my obesity. I didn't bother reading them untill recently…"
Apr 9
Richard Rivera replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Matthew: I'm in the same state as you. Alone, inside a silent apartment. I'm unemployed, lost my wife and we had no children. I lost her this past December and I'm in living hell 24/7. I am in ill health and was turned down for SS…"
Apr 8
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm going slowly insane. The grief is literally ripping what's left of my sanity. I don't know how much longer I'll last. I looked over my medical records from my last visit to the hospital m. it shows i have blockages in…"
Apr 8
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"It's now midnight Friday. I've just woken up shouting and screaming again my wife's name. I keep seeing her blue lips swollen face God please take Away the Pain and agony from my soul. I have no one. no wife. no children. no…"
Apr 7
rachel_micele replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"If you feel ashamed for breaking down in public, more people have been there than you know. You bolt to find the nearest solitude bathroom stall, nearest corner will you can be out of view, or wear sunglasses inside stores to hide. No reason to feel…"
Apr 7
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Been the worst week. things are getting worse for me mentally and physically and find myself now breaking down crying, sobbing in public. I feel ashamed. all I want is to be with my wife and that's it. that's all I ever needed. I am…"
Apr 7

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 8:17pm on December 25, 2016, morgan said…

Its what we all keep praying for Richard.  Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out.  Some hours can be unbearable.  Some minutes we try to breathe.  Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.  

Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long.  I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees.  And yes,  tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar.  We just bear it.  Endure it.  And this time of year is definitely very very hard.  People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge.  Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard.  Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....

At 3:12pm on December 25, 2016, Richard Rivera said…
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right. I pray that you find some enjoyment on your day off. Sending hugs and love you way, Bluebell"
3 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, being a hospice nurse has to be tough I think you are right because of your own experience you will be stronger than you think. I am off today and I am going to run errands it helps to occupy my mind, but not completely.  "
6 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I just read the recent posts and wanted to say how only this evening I was thanking the universe that we humans are mortal. Whether it takes another 30 years (and like Jackie the thought of another 30 years terrifies me and saddens me beyond words)…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
12 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
13 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
14 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
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14 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
14 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
14 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
15 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
15 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
17 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
18 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
19 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
19 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
21 hours ago

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