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Comment by Brette Stinson on June 30, 2012 at 12:33am

How do I go forward??

Like each and every last one of you in this group, I ask myself why me and why did GOD take both of my parents and leave me to be alone. I never knew or heard of an adult orphaned until I lost my only friend and woman of my life........My Mother. I wake up a many day and ask myself what is my purpose is there is no one here to see my accomplishments, my hard times, my gratitude towards them or all in all my life. How do I go forward..............

Comment by Susan F. on May 1, 2012 at 2:46pm

Is anybody out there?

Comment by Susan F. on April 30, 2012 at 9:42am

Sorry I went on so long in my last post.  The pain is just so raw.  I stopped by Starbucks yesterday and without thinking picked one up for mom too.

Comment by Susan F. on April 27, 2012 at 11:26am

I lost my mother in February of last year (2011) and then lost my father seven months later in September, and I was their primary caretaker for the previous two years.  I knew the previous Thanksgiving (2010) that I would lose them both within 3-6 months.  My mother was 86 and my father was 83.  I feel so fortunate to have had them both for so long, and losing parents at that age is the normal cycle of life, isn't it?    In December 2010 he doctors predicted that mom had 6-9 months. She died 3 months later.  My father had lung cancer and was given 3 months at Thanksgiving 2010.  He made it 10 months.  When mom died I felt a great deal of relief for her because her quality of life had decline to the point that she wanted it all to be over.  I missed her but I didn't grieve at all.  I cried the day she died and at her funeral, but that was about all.  I thought that was because I had grieved so much throughout the last year as she was declining and would forget who I was.  Dad's quality of life didn't seem to change at all.  The cancer was too far along for chemo or radiation so he didn't have to deal with the effects of those.  He used pain patches that kept most of the pain in check and pain pills for break-through pain.  He was able to eat and take care of himself until 2 weeks before he died.  I retired after mom died and was able to spend all of my time with him for the last 5 months.  We were always extremely close and got even closer during those last 5 months.  As most of us do I believed I was prepared, but when he died I immediately sank into depression and grief that was so intense I couldn't function.  That's when grief for my mother came out also.  It's been 7 months and the hole in my heart and my life haven't seem to even begin to heal.  I'm the Exector of their estate and cleaning out their house felt like I taking apart their lives piece by piece.  It has taken me seven months so far and I haven't even started the work on their house that has to be done before I can put it on the market to sell.  If it hadn't been for my husband I wouldn't be as far along as I am now.  We moved the furniture out last week and I laid on the floor after everybody else had left and sobbed for hours.  I see my therapist twice a week which help some for a day or so and then I'm right back where I was.  I feel so alone with no one to love me the way they did.  I don't know how to do this and get past some of the pain and heartache.

Comment by Gianna N. Piovanetti Ortiz on April 18, 2012 at 9:18pm

I was blessed to have my grandparents to raise me, but as they grew older, my grandma passed away...I stayed with my grandfather while I was studying my master's degree. Later on, my biological father died leaving me with so many questions unanswered, I had only met him twice in my life. That same year, two of the people who went with me to my biological father's wake died, my mother's cousin, who was very close to me, and my grandfather. My life started to fall apart. Months later I joined a mental institution because I knew I needed the help but before I could use what I had learned my biological mother dies just when she had moved in with me...she told me she was never going to leave me although we didn't get along for most of my life, but when my grandfather, her father, died we grew close and I understood her depressions. It's been about six months and I have been struggling. I joined this group to know if there are people out there who understand what I'm going through...the feeling of loneliness, emptiness...

Comment by Kandi Broussard on November 23, 2011 at 1:16pm

Thomas, this is my 2nd holiday season without my parents and it might be a little bit easier than the first but it is still very scary and painful.  I'm sorry... I would love to tell you that it is easier but it still hurts more than I can bear.  Yesterday, I was washing clothes and the smell of Downy made me burst into tears.  Normally, today I would be preparing stuff to take to my mom's for Thanksgiving but I don't get to do that now.  I just don't think it's ever gonna be easy--- ya know?

Comment by Sarah on November 23, 2011 at 1:14pm

Dear Thomas,

I wish there were a good answer to your question about when this gets easier. Dec. 5 will be 31 years since I lost my Mom, (I was 11) and I just lost my Pop on Oct. 5 of this year. Honestly, it is hard to tell the difference some days and on others I do pretty well. This will be the first Thanksgiving that I do not see anyone I am related to. I'll have my moments and will pull through, just as I know you will.

You are in my thoughts as are all in this group, especially this holiday season!

Sarah

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:09pm

Hi Thomas:

 

I understand

I was looking at the Xmas cards

addressed to both parents

and oh my, it is painful

 

sending a big hug down there to you

people..

 

Im not in US

 

take care

 

we will get through

Im going to church service

 

 

Sedona :)

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:08pm

Hello this day to all posting:

 

I send out my condolences to all

who suffer losses, so sad

 

June end, I lost Mom

and just last week we

had the funeral service for Dad

 

both had b een in a nursing home

 

I am taking some counselling

for grief

 

hugs to all

 

 

 

Sedona   
:)

Comment by Thomas Brophy on November 23, 2011 at 12:59pm

Yesterday I went to buy a Thanksgiving card for my friend, and the first card I saw read " To The Most Wonderful Mom and Dad. I cannot believe how it was like a punch in the gut. My three year old even asked me what was wrong and if I was sad. This is the first holiday season without both of my parents. Mom died in June and dad two years prior. As I watch my friends getting excited about the holidays and black friday, I start feeling very afraid. Afraid because just when I think I have a hold on my grief and I am finally winning the holidays come around. Everything about the holidays reminds me of my parents. I love my memories of the holidays with them, but now having to do this without them is terrifying. I know I should not such a wimp, but grief has beaten  me down like nothing else I have ever experienced. I am Thankful for the time I had with them, but I really wanted to build on more memories with them sharing the holidays with my children. I am finding it harder and harder to put on a brave face when I feel so broken. Somedays it feels like physical pain. When will this get easier?

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