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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.

Members: 71
Latest Activity: Jul 13

Discussion Forum

No way back to the past...

I am an only child...I lost my dad at 2 & my mom at 27, which I had just given birth to her first grandbaby 22 days before she passed away. Trying to be a parent, with no one around to say "did I…Continue

Started by Sarah Slagle Nov 9, 2012.

Orphaned adults - too young for the 'middle aged' literature, too old for the child/adolescent ... Any for young adults?

Hello, my name is Catherine. I'm 30 a year old and an 'orphaned adult'. I am the eldest of 3 children. Our father died suddenly at 45, when were aged 19, 17 and 13 (respectively). We lost our mother…Continue

Started by Catherine Robson May 21, 2012.

Longing for belonging 3 Replies

I don't feel like I belong to anyone, and there is nobody else who will love me unconditionally like my parents did.  I feel so alone.  I am only 26 and have my whole life ahead of me.  I have some…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 13, 2012.

Both at the same time??? I just dont understand... 1 Reply

Hey everyone all most 2 months ago now on July 13th 2011 I lost both my Mother (Donna) and Father (Bruce) in a tragic Semi-truck accident. My parents had been team over the road drivers for almost…Continue

Started by Amber Nichole Scarborough McGhee. Last reply by Ruth Oct 10, 2011.

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Comment by Brette Stinson on June 30, 2012 at 12:33am

How do I go forward??

Like each and every last one of you in this group, I ask myself why me and why did GOD take both of my parents and leave me to be alone. I never knew or heard of an adult orphaned until I lost my only friend and woman of my life........My Mother. I wake up a many day and ask myself what is my purpose is there is no one here to see my accomplishments, my hard times, my gratitude towards them or all in all my life. How do I go forward..............

Comment by Susan F. on May 1, 2012 at 2:46pm
Is anybody out there?
Comment by Susan F. on April 30, 2012 at 9:42am

Sorry I went on so long in my last post.  The pain is just so raw.  I stopped by Starbucks yesterday and without thinking picked one up for mom too.

Comment by Susan F. on April 27, 2012 at 11:26am

I lost my mother in February of last year (2011) and then lost my father seven months later in September, and I was their primary caretaker for the previous two years.  I knew the previous Thanksgiving (2010) that I would lose them both within 3-6 months.  My mother was 86 and my father was 83.  I feel so fortunate to have had them both for so long, and losing parents at that age is the normal cycle of life, isn't it?    In December 2010 he doctors predicted that mom had 6-9 months. She died 3 months later.  My father had lung cancer and was given 3 months at Thanksgiving 2010.  He made it 10 months.  When mom died I felt a great deal of relief for her because her quality of life had decline to the point that she wanted it all to be over.  I missed her but I didn't grieve at all.  I cried the day she died and at her funeral, but that was about all.  I thought that was because I had grieved so much throughout the last year as she was declining and would forget who I was.  Dad's quality of life didn't seem to change at all.  The cancer was too far along for chemo or radiation so he didn't have to deal with the effects of those.  He used pain patches that kept most of the pain in check and pain pills for break-through pain.  He was able to eat and take care of himself until 2 weeks before he died.  I retired after mom died and was able to spend all of my time with him for the last 5 months.  We were always extremely close and got even closer during those last 5 months.  As most of us do I believed I was prepared, but when he died I immediately sank into depression and grief that was so intense I couldn't function.  That's when grief for my mother came out also.  It's been 7 months and the hole in my heart and my life haven't seem to even begin to heal.  I'm the Exector of their estate and cleaning out their house felt like I taking apart their lives piece by piece.  It has taken me seven months so far and I haven't even started the work on their house that has to be done before I can put it on the market to sell.  If it hadn't been for my husband I wouldn't be as far along as I am now.  We moved the furniture out last week and I laid on the floor after everybody else had left and sobbed for hours.  I see my therapist twice a week which help some for a day or so and then I'm right back where I was.  I feel so alone with no one to love me the way they did.  I don't know how to do this and get past some of the pain and heartache.

Comment by Gianna N. Piovanetti Ortiz on April 18, 2012 at 9:18pm

I was blessed to have my grandparents to raise me, but as they grew older, my grandma passed away...I stayed with my grandfather while I was studying my master's degree. Later on, my biological father died leaving me with so many questions unanswered, I had only met him twice in my life. That same year, two of the people who went with me to my biological father's wake died, my mother's cousin, who was very close to me, and my grandfather. My life started to fall apart. Months later I joined a mental institution because I knew I needed the help but before I could use what I had learned my biological mother dies just when she had moved in with me...she told me she was never going to leave me although we didn't get along for most of my life, but when my grandfather, her father, died we grew close and I understood her depressions. It's been about six months and I have been struggling. I joined this group to know if there are people out there who understand what I'm going through...the feeling of loneliness, emptiness...

Comment by Kandi Broussard on November 23, 2011 at 1:16pm

Thomas, this is my 2nd holiday season without my parents and it might be a little bit easier than the first but it is still very scary and painful.  I'm sorry... I would love to tell you that it is easier but it still hurts more than I can bear.  Yesterday, I was washing clothes and the smell of Downy made me burst into tears.  Normally, today I would be preparing stuff to take to my mom's for Thanksgiving but I don't get to do that now.  I just don't think it's ever gonna be easy--- ya know?

Comment by Sarah on November 23, 2011 at 1:14pm

Dear Thomas,

I wish there were a good answer to your question about when this gets easier. Dec. 5 will be 31 years since I lost my Mom, (I was 11) and I just lost my Pop on Oct. 5 of this year. Honestly, it is hard to tell the difference some days and on others I do pretty well. This will be the first Thanksgiving that I do not see anyone I am related to. I'll have my moments and will pull through, just as I know you will.

You are in my thoughts as are all in this group, especially this holiday season!

Sarah

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:09pm

Hi Thomas:

 

I understand

I was looking at the Xmas cards

addressed to both parents

and oh my, it is painful

 

sending a big hug down there to you

people..

 

Im not in US

 

take care

 

we will get through

Im going to church service

 

 

Sedona :)

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:08pm

Hello this day to all posting:

 

I send out my condolences to all

who suffer losses, so sad

 

June end, I lost Mom

and just last week we

had the funeral service for Dad

 

both had b een in a nursing home

 

I am taking some counselling

for grief

 

hugs to all

 

 

 

Sedona   
:)

Comment by Thomas Brophy on November 23, 2011 at 12:59pm

Yesterday I went to buy a Thanksgiving card for my friend, and the first card I saw read " To The Most Wonderful Mom and Dad. I cannot believe how it was like a punch in the gut. My three year old even asked me what was wrong and if I was sad. This is the first holiday season without both of my parents. Mom died in June and dad two years prior. As I watch my friends getting excited about the holidays and black friday, I start feeling very afraid. Afraid because just when I think I have a hold on my grief and I am finally winning the holidays come around. Everything about the holidays reminds me of my parents. I love my memories of the holidays with them, but now having to do this without them is terrifying. I know I should not such a wimp, but grief has beaten  me down like nothing else I have ever experienced. I am Thankful for the time I had with them, but I really wanted to build on more memories with them sharing the holidays with my children. I am finding it harder and harder to put on a brave face when I feel so broken. Somedays it feels like physical pain. When will this get easier?

 

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susan zingale is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, Trina & Alexis, Thanks for your thoughts. Life will never be the same again. I am so glad to have such wonderful friends on this forum. God Bless You All."
4 hours ago
ALEXIS commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda and Bluebird I have been feeling the same way.  At work I am getting in all sorts of holiday items and it is hard for me to look at it or think of the holidays.  This will be my first without my husband.  I'm not quite sure…"
14 hours ago
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
14 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alas, time DOES NOT heal all wounds. Perhaps it heals most wounds, but not the loss of one's soulmate, the love of their life. Those people who say this, don't know any better. Either they don't understand what a soulmate is, or they…"
17 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
17 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I understand, Linda. It's the same for me. ((((Hugs))))"
18 hours ago
Monty replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kyle Im so sorry for your loss and the pain your going though. its hard at the start, especially if you don't feel you have any one to talk to. you have a sympathetic ear in here any time you need / wish to talk, i know its not the same as…"
19 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
20 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
20 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would say that your mom was fortunate that she did not suffer that way. Sometimes a person will suffer for years before they die. I am certainly glad that I got to be with my mom at the end and tell her that I loved her every day, but it was…"
Wednesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know you know I did not mean it in that way, but of course not, my question, should I be thankful she did not suffer and lay in a bed and me have to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing as so many had to do on this site.  But as you…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I don't know if we can be thankful that our mom's died under any circumstances. "
Wednesday
Profile IconMarian Bruce and Colleen joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"True Brett Should I be thankful? My mom died in an instant she was herself until the last minute. Some say I’m lucky I didn’t have to watch her suffer. But my mom used to always say we suffer everyday in this earth. I would have been…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No, she didn't everyone, good or bad, dies. Few people have an easy death."
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wow Avi I believe in karma but I’m not sure that your mom has done anything wrong present or past that would make her have gotten that disease"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
Tuesday

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