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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.

Members: 16
Latest Activity: Jul 24

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Julie Marie Weiss

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I started this group for Orphaned adults, adults who have lost both parents. I always thought as we got older and lost our folks it would hurt less, why i do not know. I know since losing my mom on A…

Started by Julie Marie Weiss. Last reply by FJ McCoin Jul 20.

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Byron Eugene Jordan Comment by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 23, 2010 at 9:47pm
I joined in yesterday. Yes and I am a 45 year old Orphan. My father passed away this pass Feb.22,2010 to an illness that I cannot spell. And my mom passed away Sept.27,1995. And my brother was killed by a drunk driver on October 25,1969 in Central Venezuela. S0 it is just me and myself and I now. And a very empty feeling indeed. The shock and the roller coaster ride is something else. But I will say this reading some of the post here. Sure has put a boost inside of me. Well I tell each and everyone this. Lets adopt each other. Reading each of your story's just blows me away. And for Bianca Mitchell unreal and my heart just bleeds for your loss.
Colleen Johansen Comment by Colleen Johansen on July 21, 2010 at 6:26am
When I saw this group I had to join. My father passed away March 5, 1999 and my mother passed away 2 weeks ago...I am 41 years old but one of my 1st thoughts that day was I am an orphan, then thought how silly are you for feeling that you are an adult. I am glad that others have had this thought and feel the same as I do, and that it was so silly after all.
Debbie Cornwell Comment by Debbie Cornwell on July 20, 2010 at 8:05pm
I am a 55 year old The 4th of July our pickup was hit by a semi and instantly killed my mom,dad and husband. Next to my hubby my mom was my best friend I am so alone . I reach for th ephone to call her and realize she is not there. I just realized there will be no Christmas or ?Thanksgiving because there is no one but me.
Robyn Lee Comment by Robyn Lee on June 28, 2010 at 10:58pm
I am 26 years old, and I have no parents. Just writing that phrase kills me inside. I think the hardest part is the fact that there is no one in my corner.
Colleen Grady Comment by Colleen Grady on June 2, 2010 at 12:07pm
I don't know if I have the strength to write much now, but 7 months ago tomorrow, I lost my dad to a sudden massive stroke. In 5 days it will be one month since I lost my mom who was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to her brain and bones on May 3rd and was gone by May 8th. She had shown no symptoms of any problems until the weekend before she died when we took her by ambulance to the hospital because of shortness of breath. My siblings and I are just so stunned. We were barely hanging on coping with the loss of our dad, and now mom is gone too. Before she died, she said "I just want to go and be with my love" and then in my mother's true style she said "if the fat lady has to sing, let her". Anyway, that's just a brief start to the story. I'll post more later when I have a little more strength.
Paige Anne Lovelace Comment by Paige Anne Lovelace on May 13, 2010 at 9:18am
I am an orphaned adult. Read my blog about it. I didn't see the group until a few minutes ago. I lost my mom 10 years ago and my dad 3 years ago. I can't explain how hard it is to go through life without them.
terri Comment by terri on April 3, 2010 at 7:38pm
im here for myself and husband this group is for my husabnd lost his parents about 4yrs agao but didint get the news tell after they were gone havng a real rough time and all please any words or freinds would help thn u
Bianca Mitchell Comment by Bianca Mitchell on February 19, 2010 at 12:39pm
I am 28 years old and I have had to deal with a tremendous amount of loss in my life. My dad and my step-mother died in a very unexpected accident in 1999, when I was only 18 years old. My dad lived in a townhouse and the neighbor accidentally left his car running in the attached garage. The carbon Monoxide killed my dad, my step mom, my dog, and the neighbor and his girlfriend, two other people were injured. My mom died in December 2005 when I was 26 years old. She struggled for many years from multiple health issues and finally succumbed to a diabetic attack at home. My step-father just died in November 2009 after a short battle with lung cancer, it came suddenly and it overpowered him very quickly.

I am at a complete loss. How can I possibly be the eldest generation? I feel very jealous of my friends that go home every couple of weeks and let their mothers take care of them and cook them their childhood favorite foods. All of these comforts are gone forever. I thought the other day, that no one alive remembers the day I was born. I know that doesn't seem like such a big deal on the surface, but the finality of it is huge to me. None of my friends know what to do or say. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to. I have found comfort with some elderly people I know, they seem more willing to talk about loss and can be far more understanding than people my age. I don't think my friends want to be aloof or make me feel uncomfortable, but they simply do not know what to do. I really think we need to address these issues as a society, eventually it will happen to everyone, so why does no one ever talk about it?
Maggie May Comment by Maggie May on February 18, 2010 at 1:58am
My dad died on March 1st, 2005 from pancreatic cancer. He was my best friend, my rock, the only one who understood and listened to me. My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer in 1985, I was 6mo old. She battled through it - 3 brain surgeries, countless hospitals, homes and living centers. The tumor was live for the first 7 yrs of my life... she drank constantly and abused me emotionally, physically, and sexually...I don't blame her for any of it... she was sick and didn't know what she was doing. My mother just died on October 3rd, 2009 and although she was never really a mother figure and she was so disabled from the brain trauma that she didn't know who I was....I'm grieving. The fact that my dad has been gone for 5 years...how has it been that long?...and he was the only one I could talk to about the hurt and conflicting emotions I had towards her (without feeling like a horrible daughter/person)...and that she's now gone.......
I'm an only child, a loner with few friends, and I'm feeling completely hopeless, helpless, desperate, depressed, and lost. I just want my dad back. I never had my mom...I'm not delusional...shit happens and I was lucky enough to have him there growing up....but I'm 24 now, pretty much all alone....whats next? Does this get any easier or will the grief continue to snowball until I'm at my breaking point and in the er again? (btw I'm really not trying to be dramatic about this....life could be a hell of a lot worse and I'm probably being selfish for even thinking about it....I just wanted someone to hear me...
CPS Comment by CPS on February 11, 2010 at 2:09pm
Your honesty and descriptive writing is something to aspire to. I'm so glad you are here. I have also spent time debating suffering and have asked what is the point. I have lived in very poor regions of Africa and what you have described sounds like there and not North America. I have spent all of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop, white knuckling everything. Trying desperately to deal with this because I have like you repeatedly experienced how unexpected and painful death is. I don't want all the death and suffering to keep me from living life anger and anxiety free. I think that is going to be a process. My closest friend told me the other night that I don't have to be brave or strong...don't think I got what she was saying until I read your post so thank you for that.
 

Members (16)

FJ McCoin Julie Marie Weiss Steven K Frank CPS Eugenia Christine Bianca Mitchell Eric Guyand Monique Douglas Maggie May Byron Eugene Jordan terri Paige Anne Lovelace Colleen Grady Robyn Lee Debbie Cornwell Colleen Johansen
 
 
 

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Books

To One In Sorrow

Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.

-Grace Noll Crowell

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The Gift That Freed Me To Give

A significant lesson for me has been understanding and accepting that our greatest gains often come through experiences in our lives that may be extremely painful. My father, Raphel Orval Beason, died less than four months before I was born at the age of 19 in an explosion at the Port Chicago U.S. Navy arsenal near Oakland, Calif. He was among 320 men killed on July 17, 1944, when two merchant ships blew next to...

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