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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.

Members: 71
Latest Activity: Jul 13

Discussion Forum

No way back to the past...

I am an only child...I lost my dad at 2 & my mom at 27, which I had just given birth to her first grandbaby 22 days before she passed away. Trying to be a parent, with no one around to say "did I…Continue

Started by Sarah Slagle Nov 9, 2012.

Orphaned adults - too young for the 'middle aged' literature, too old for the child/adolescent ... Any for young adults?

Hello, my name is Catherine. I'm 30 a year old and an 'orphaned adult'. I am the eldest of 3 children. Our father died suddenly at 45, when were aged 19, 17 and 13 (respectively). We lost our mother…Continue

Started by Catherine Robson May 21, 2012.

Longing for belonging 3 Replies

I don't feel like I belong to anyone, and there is nobody else who will love me unconditionally like my parents did.  I feel so alone.  I am only 26 and have my whole life ahead of me.  I have some…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 13, 2012.

Both at the same time??? I just dont understand... 1 Reply

Hey everyone all most 2 months ago now on July 13th 2011 I lost both my Mother (Donna) and Father (Bruce) in a tragic Semi-truck accident. My parents had been team over the road drivers for almost…Continue

Started by Amber Nichole Scarborough McGhee. Last reply by Ruth Oct 10, 2011.

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Comment by Brette Stinson on June 30, 2012 at 12:33am

How do I go forward??

Like each and every last one of you in this group, I ask myself why me and why did GOD take both of my parents and leave me to be alone. I never knew or heard of an adult orphaned until I lost my only friend and woman of my life........My Mother. I wake up a many day and ask myself what is my purpose is there is no one here to see my accomplishments, my hard times, my gratitude towards them or all in all my life. How do I go forward..............

Comment by Susan F. on May 1, 2012 at 2:46pm
Is anybody out there?
Comment by Susan F. on April 30, 2012 at 9:42am

Sorry I went on so long in my last post.  The pain is just so raw.  I stopped by Starbucks yesterday and without thinking picked one up for mom too.

Comment by Susan F. on April 27, 2012 at 11:26am

I lost my mother in February of last year (2011) and then lost my father seven months later in September, and I was their primary caretaker for the previous two years.  I knew the previous Thanksgiving (2010) that I would lose them both within 3-6 months.  My mother was 86 and my father was 83.  I feel so fortunate to have had them both for so long, and losing parents at that age is the normal cycle of life, isn't it?    In December 2010 he doctors predicted that mom had 6-9 months. She died 3 months later.  My father had lung cancer and was given 3 months at Thanksgiving 2010.  He made it 10 months.  When mom died I felt a great deal of relief for her because her quality of life had decline to the point that she wanted it all to be over.  I missed her but I didn't grieve at all.  I cried the day she died and at her funeral, but that was about all.  I thought that was because I had grieved so much throughout the last year as she was declining and would forget who I was.  Dad's quality of life didn't seem to change at all.  The cancer was too far along for chemo or radiation so he didn't have to deal with the effects of those.  He used pain patches that kept most of the pain in check and pain pills for break-through pain.  He was able to eat and take care of himself until 2 weeks before he died.  I retired after mom died and was able to spend all of my time with him for the last 5 months.  We were always extremely close and got even closer during those last 5 months.  As most of us do I believed I was prepared, but when he died I immediately sank into depression and grief that was so intense I couldn't function.  That's when grief for my mother came out also.  It's been 7 months and the hole in my heart and my life haven't seem to even begin to heal.  I'm the Exector of their estate and cleaning out their house felt like I taking apart their lives piece by piece.  It has taken me seven months so far and I haven't even started the work on their house that has to be done before I can put it on the market to sell.  If it hadn't been for my husband I wouldn't be as far along as I am now.  We moved the furniture out last week and I laid on the floor after everybody else had left and sobbed for hours.  I see my therapist twice a week which help some for a day or so and then I'm right back where I was.  I feel so alone with no one to love me the way they did.  I don't know how to do this and get past some of the pain and heartache.

Comment by Gianna N. Piovanetti Ortiz on April 18, 2012 at 9:18pm

I was blessed to have my grandparents to raise me, but as they grew older, my grandma passed away...I stayed with my grandfather while I was studying my master's degree. Later on, my biological father died leaving me with so many questions unanswered, I had only met him twice in my life. That same year, two of the people who went with me to my biological father's wake died, my mother's cousin, who was very close to me, and my grandfather. My life started to fall apart. Months later I joined a mental institution because I knew I needed the help but before I could use what I had learned my biological mother dies just when she had moved in with me...she told me she was never going to leave me although we didn't get along for most of my life, but when my grandfather, her father, died we grew close and I understood her depressions. It's been about six months and I have been struggling. I joined this group to know if there are people out there who understand what I'm going through...the feeling of loneliness, emptiness...

Comment by Kandi Broussard on November 23, 2011 at 1:16pm

Thomas, this is my 2nd holiday season without my parents and it might be a little bit easier than the first but it is still very scary and painful.  I'm sorry... I would love to tell you that it is easier but it still hurts more than I can bear.  Yesterday, I was washing clothes and the smell of Downy made me burst into tears.  Normally, today I would be preparing stuff to take to my mom's for Thanksgiving but I don't get to do that now.  I just don't think it's ever gonna be easy--- ya know?

Comment by Sarah on November 23, 2011 at 1:14pm

Dear Thomas,

I wish there were a good answer to your question about when this gets easier. Dec. 5 will be 31 years since I lost my Mom, (I was 11) and I just lost my Pop on Oct. 5 of this year. Honestly, it is hard to tell the difference some days and on others I do pretty well. This will be the first Thanksgiving that I do not see anyone I am related to. I'll have my moments and will pull through, just as I know you will.

You are in my thoughts as are all in this group, especially this holiday season!

Sarah

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:09pm

Hi Thomas:

 

I understand

I was looking at the Xmas cards

addressed to both parents

and oh my, it is painful

 

sending a big hug down there to you

people..

 

Im not in US

 

take care

 

we will get through

Im going to church service

 

 

Sedona :)

Comment by barb blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:08pm

Hello this day to all posting:

 

I send out my condolences to all

who suffer losses, so sad

 

June end, I lost Mom

and just last week we

had the funeral service for Dad

 

both had b een in a nursing home

 

I am taking some counselling

for grief

 

hugs to all

 

 

 

Sedona   
:)

Comment by Thomas Brophy on November 23, 2011 at 12:59pm

Yesterday I went to buy a Thanksgiving card for my friend, and the first card I saw read " To The Most Wonderful Mom and Dad. I cannot believe how it was like a punch in the gut. My three year old even asked me what was wrong and if I was sad. This is the first holiday season without both of my parents. Mom died in June and dad two years prior. As I watch my friends getting excited about the holidays and black friday, I start feeling very afraid. Afraid because just when I think I have a hold on my grief and I am finally winning the holidays come around. Everything about the holidays reminds me of my parents. I love my memories of the holidays with them, but now having to do this without them is terrifying. I know I should not such a wimp, but grief has beaten  me down like nothing else I have ever experienced. I am Thankful for the time I had with them, but I really wanted to build on more memories with them sharing the holidays with my children. I am finding it harder and harder to put on a brave face when I feel so broken. Somedays it feels like physical pain. When will this get easier?

 

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Briana Wroten joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
2 hours ago
Avi is now friends with Frances Koonce and Brett Bowman
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I will message my phone # to you. In fact, anyone who wants to call me can. I am convinced that none of you are strung out crackheads, trolling the internet."
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks BlueBell and Brett.  Bluebell wishing that you get perfect soon.  Brett, do you have a skype Id where we can have a call?"
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I am so happy for you. And you are obviously doing better with women than I am..."
yesterday
Chanel commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through a tough time, Rain. I feel like some days I'm okay and others I'm struggling. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to."
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Congratulations Avi! Bluebell"
yesterday
Susan Dee Leatham posted a blog post

While I was sleeping

It has been 4 years since my mom died.  I still think about it every day, and can't seem to look past it.  I know I need to go grocery shopping.  I know I need to entertain my 4 year old but before I do anything today I want to share what has helped me tremendously in making my mom's death easier to live with.The first thing that helps is remembering her and being stubborn about NOT letting her go.  I don't have to let my mom go.  She already went.  The thing I do have to do is admit how I feel…See More
yesterday
Susan Dee Leatham posted a status
"It has been 4 years since I lost my mom. I never got "over" it. It has remained the most traumatic terrible thing that has ever happened."
yesterday
Profile IconCJ, Roslyn E!lison, Brend and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom is all around you..."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks a lot Theressa.  For 4 days it was a roller coaster ride as we were in hospital but now as I am at my home I again get sad feeling my mother's absence. My wife and daughter is at my wife's place as there is no lady at my place…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Congratulations Avi!!!!! You have many happy years ahead of you!!!"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All Guys I was away for few days as I am blessed with a baby girl on 10 Aug 18. Both mother and baby doing fine.  I planned my baby only as my mother wanted to see her grand child but destiny had other plans. But I hope she has still blessed…"
Tuesday
Rain commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"It's been almost two years for me. It doesn't hurt any less. Some days I push it away but then all of a sudden every bit of it hits like a ton of bricks. I did tell a few of my best friends and I mostly regret it. Now I feel it's just…"
Tuesday
Frances Koonce replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"Awww- I’m sorry about that! It must make you feel really terrible that you can’t just take her home.  The same thing happened with my mom after her heart attack. She couldn’t just live by herself anymore. We had to empty her…"
Tuesday
Profile Iconmorgan and Natasha Camacho-Gomes joined Amy Reed's group
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Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26See More
Tuesday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"iv bean to day to sea her iv hadto liee to her wish i feal bad wen can i go homee wen drs says so wear isdr on holday  why am hear coz dr says so i anserd it for abot 40 mins i did evry tim i leabee i feal dranedd i do  th 5 mons latr she…"
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Jeff Tice commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you bluebird.  My kids have been a huge comfort for me.  Making me laugh even when I don't want to and giving me someone to occupy my time and energy with.  I am working my way through this slowly and they help…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Jeff, So sorry for your loss."
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