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Sole Survivors

For those who are the last surviving members of their immediate family.

Location: New York, NY
Members: 11
Latest Activity: Apr 21

I Know I'm Not Alone

I'm starting this group in the hopes of finding others out there who are in my unique situation - having lost my entire immediate family before 30.  My mother passed when I was 13 after a six year battle with breast cancer, and my father died of lung cancer when I was a sophomore in college.  This past New Year's my sister committed suicide, leaving me as the sole survivor of my family.

Ideally I would like to start some sort of meet-up in New York, but I'm not sure how many people will stumble upon this post.  If you're out there, I'd love to connect.

Discussion Forum

One of Two Directions? 4 Replies

So - if you're on this forum, you've probably lost both of your parents and probably at least one sibling, like myself.  Here's my question:  After the loss of both parents while still in your…Continue

Started by Jessica Granantowski. Last reply by Kate Sep 20, 2015.

Lost mom, brother, dad will soon follow...

I hope it's okay to post here... I feel as if I've lost my whole family, though my dad is still physically alive. He has MS and dementia, and his health and mental well-being have severely declined.…Continue

Started by Kimberly Jun 18, 2014.

nightmares

Since i lost my sister which i am having trouble getting over.I have been having nightmares .I don't remember them but my husband says i talk in my sleep and it sounds like I'm fighting with someone…Continue

Started by bobbie Aug 23, 2013.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Jen L on April 21, 2018 at 10:40am

I'm not sure anyone is still active in this group but it' the most appropriate group on here I've found I guess. I tried the Multiple losses group but those guys all have tons of people still left as a support system. Hmm. There's no Everyone's Dead-Zero Family extended and so on groups. There's an opportunity I guess. 

Anyways, last year my Mom, Dad, Aunt Brother and dog...even my damn dog died. I had that dog for 14 years, I really wish he hung o considering how muc everything else sucked.

Everyone spaced it out nicely a few months apart for full impact. Illness, not trauma. Dad was the last right before Christmas. I attended the funeral with just the Priest. I was exhausted from making arrangements all year so I just did it alone. 

Now I get to figure out how to keep their beloved horse farm which is in massive debt as I deal with a foreclosure from leaving my job to...wait for it...be with my sick family before they die. Ahhh, lol...death and taxes, so fun for the only one left behind. 

My friends act like none of this is happening. So if I don't act chipper for every moment of the dy, thy wonder why. When I say "I'm upset bout my family being dead and I'm all alone" I've literally gotten "no but really, why are you upset?"

Not one person visited me after any of these losses. Not one. I got invites to come see them sure but it's hard after losing someone. It's

 really hard after losing 2...3...4...5.

Don' tell me to journal or pray to Harry Potter, Bugs Bunny or whatever fictional characters some person wrote down in an edited book. Those are nice for some, like fingerpainting or basketweaving. I have to deal with real life Wills and estates alone. I have to figure out how to fix up a old farmhouse alone. If people won' be bothered to say hi to someone who lost thir entire family, they probably won' come by to swing a hammer. 

Be happy you probably still have an Emergency contact to list as someone on here very thoughtlessly posted about how awful that would be to not have anyone to write down. 

It is awful. 

Comment by Sara on August 29, 2014 at 5:01pm
I lost my mum and dad by the time I was 24. I'm 49 now and lost my only sibling 9 days ago. It's very strange to be the sole survivor of my birth family.
Comment by Bill Smith on September 14, 2013 at 10:35am

Hi Jessica, I hope Austin is going well for you. I don't know what other sites you may have reached out to but might want to try this one - I've found warm friendly people there, and I think it gets a little more "traffic" so maybe you'll have better luck finding people who can relate: http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/forum/13-loss-of-a-parent-moth...

Best to you.

Comment by Sheila B. on July 8, 2013 at 10:35am

Jessica, I am so sorry for your loses. My daughter and I are both only children and we lost my mom to a sudden heart attack. Wishing your strength and peace. 

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:49am

PS I can't figure out how to leave a group so I guess you're stuck with me.   :)

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:47am

Ruthie, I'm so sorry for your loss as well.  I can't imagine what y'all must be going through.

Hi Jessica - since you've found a kindred spirit here, I'll jump off (again only as I don't "qualify").  I will say that having lost my only love and not being at all close to my family, I can very much relate to feeling very much "alone out there," if that makes any sense, although of course it's not the same thing as what you're dealing with. 

Either of you, feel free to reach out any time.  (PS I have friends in Austin and have heard it's a great place; sounds like a good move for you)

Comment by Ruthie K on April 2, 2013 at 1:38pm
Six months ago, after the death of my father, I became the sole survivor of my original family. I agree, Jessica: it is alienating. I have only a handful of friends my age who have lost a parent, a few who have lost a sibling, but none who has lost all of them. I don't know who to talk to about it. I would love to connect with you, Jessica.
Comment by Jessica Granantowski on April 2, 2013 at 12:16am

Hey Bill - I caught the irony there as well...  it's a pretty alienating experience, which is why I came on this site to begin with.  Definitely appreciate you reaching out - I've just relocated to Austin and figure I might as well start with a suicide support group.  Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you're moving forward through whatever loss you are dealing with too.

Comment by Bill Smith on March 21, 2013 at 1:20pm

Jessica:  I hope you'll forgive me for joining, even if only temporarily, as I do not "qualify" - but I was so touched by your situation and found it sadly ironic how even on this site you are still alone (the only member of the group) that I felt compelled to reach out simply to offer my sympathies and an ear, if you wished, as I can relate to loneliness as I have known plenty, though I appreciate it's not the same as yours of course.  Again, for whatever it's worth.  I'll check back off and on in case you want me to exit the group, or want to talk at all.  Regardless, I am so sorry for your losses and wish you the well in this hardest of paths to try and (again) navigate... 

 

 

Members (11)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Briana Wroten joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
2 hours ago
Avi is now friends with Frances Koonce and Brett Bowman
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I will message my phone # to you. In fact, anyone who wants to call me can. I am convinced that none of you are strung out crackheads, trolling the internet."
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks BlueBell and Brett.  Bluebell wishing that you get perfect soon.  Brett, do you have a skype Id where we can have a call?"
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I am so happy for you. And you are obviously doing better with women than I am..."
yesterday
Chanel commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through a tough time, Rain. I feel like some days I'm okay and others I'm struggling. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to."
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Congratulations Avi! Bluebell"
yesterday
Susan Dee Leatham posted a blog post

While I was sleeping

It has been 4 years since my mom died.  I still think about it every day, and can't seem to look past it.  I know I need to go grocery shopping.  I know I need to entertain my 4 year old but before I do anything today I want to share what has helped me tremendously in making my mom's death easier to live with.The first thing that helps is remembering her and being stubborn about NOT letting her go.  I don't have to let my mom go.  She already went.  The thing I do have to do is admit how I feel…See More
yesterday
Susan Dee Leatham posted a status
"It has been 4 years since I lost my mom. I never got "over" it. It has remained the most traumatic terrible thing that has ever happened."
yesterday
Profile IconCJ, Roslyn E!lison, Brend and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom is all around you..."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks a lot Theressa.  For 4 days it was a roller coaster ride as we were in hospital but now as I am at my home I again get sad feeling my mother's absence. My wife and daughter is at my wife's place as there is no lady at my place…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Congratulations Avi!!!!! You have many happy years ahead of you!!!"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All Guys I was away for few days as I am blessed with a baby girl on 10 Aug 18. Both mother and baby doing fine.  I planned my baby only as my mother wanted to see her grand child but destiny had other plans. But I hope she has still blessed…"
Tuesday
Rain commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"It's been almost two years for me. It doesn't hurt any less. Some days I push it away but then all of a sudden every bit of it hits like a ton of bricks. I did tell a few of my best friends and I mostly regret it. Now I feel it's just…"
Tuesday
Frances Koonce replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"Awww- I’m sorry about that! It must make you feel really terrible that you can’t just take her home.  The same thing happened with my mom after her heart attack. She couldn’t just live by herself anymore. We had to empty her…"
Tuesday
Profile Iconmorgan and Natasha Camacho-Gomes joined Amy Reed's group
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Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26See More
Tuesday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"iv bean to day to sea her iv hadto liee to her wish i feal bad wen can i go homee wen drs says so wear isdr on holday  why am hear coz dr says so i anserd it for abot 40 mins i did evry tim i leabee i feal dranedd i do  th 5 mons latr she…"
Monday
Jeff Tice commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you bluebird.  My kids have been a huge comfort for me.  Making me laugh even when I don't want to and giving me someone to occupy my time and energy with.  I am working my way through this slowly and they help…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Jeff, So sorry for your loss."
Monday

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