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Sole Survivors

For those who are the last surviving members of their immediate family.

Location: New York, NY
Members: 13
Latest Activity: Oct 20

I Know I'm Not Alone

I'm starting this group in the hopes of finding others out there who are in my unique situation - having lost my entire immediate family before 30.  My mother passed when I was 13 after a six year battle with breast cancer, and my father died of lung cancer when I was a sophomore in college.  This past New Year's my sister committed suicide, leaving me as the sole survivor of my family.

Ideally I would like to start some sort of meet-up in New York, but I'm not sure how many people will stumble upon this post.  If you're out there, I'd love to connect.

Discussion Forum

Lost mom, brother, dad will soon follow... 1 Reply

I hope it's okay to post here... I feel as if I've lost my whole family, though my dad is still physically alive. He has MS and dementia, and his health and mental well-being have severely declined.…Continue

Started by Kimberly. Last reply by Troy Oct 20.

nightmares 1 Reply

Since i lost my sister which i am having trouble getting over.I have been having nightmares .I don't remember them but my husband says i talk in my sleep and it sounds like I'm fighting with someone…Continue

Started by bobbie. Last reply by Troy Oct 20.

One of Two Directions? 4 Replies

So - if you're on this forum, you've probably lost both of your parents and probably at least one sibling, like myself.  Here's my question:  After the loss of both parents while still in your…Continue

Started by Jessica Granantowski. Last reply by Kate Sep 20, 2015.

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Comment by Wes Raincloud on December 9, 2020 at 10:21am

8 years ago I lost my dad to cancer, then in 2017, my mother followed him. The next year my 52-year-old baby sister died. Leaving a brother I had lost contact with and hadn't seen for 10 years. I found my brother this past April but the day before I was to speak to him he passed from cancer. Now I am the only one left and I can't help but wonder why I am still here and they are not. I am almost 60 years old and have heart and lung disease. I may be joining them sooner than I realize, but anyway....

I was my sister's primary caretaker and watching her mental and physical health decline slowly and painfully broke my heart. You see I knew my sister was going to die....Mentally, but emotionally I didn't get it until after she was gone. I was totally and completely devastated. My sister and I were close even sharing an apartment for years.

Anyway, I am left with some song lyrics from Don Mclean's "Empty Chairs"..."I wonder if you know, that I never understood, that although you said you'd go, until you did I never thought you would."

It is coming up on Christmas soon and I will probably end up alone or with someone else's family trying to pretend to be happy. This sux!!! R_O_Y_A_L_L_Y!!!

Comment by Jen L on April 21, 2018 at 10:40am

I'm not sure anyone is still active in this group but it' the most appropriate group on here I've found I guess. I tried the Multiple losses group but those guys all have tons of people still left as a support system. Hmm. There's no Everyone's Dead-Zero Family extended and so on groups. There's an opportunity I guess. 

Anyways, last year my Mom, Dad, Aunt Brother and dog...even my damn dog died. I had that dog for 14 years, I really wish he hung o considering how muc everything else sucked.

Everyone spaced it out nicely a few months apart for full impact. Illness, not trauma. Dad was the last right before Christmas. I attended the funeral with just the Priest. I was exhausted from making arrangements all year so I just did it alone. 

Now I get to figure out how to keep their beloved horse farm which is in massive debt as I deal with a foreclosure from leaving my job to...wait for it...be with my sick family before they die. Ahhh, lol...death and taxes, so fun for the only one left behind. 

My friends act like none of this is happening. So if I don't act chipper for every moment of the dy, thy wonder why. When I say "I'm upset bout my family being dead and I'm all alone" I've literally gotten "no but really, why are you upset?"

Not one person visited me after any of these losses. Not one. I got invites to come see them sure but it's hard after losing someone. It's

 really hard after losing 2...3...4...5.

Don' tell me to journal or pray to Harry Potter, Bugs Bunny or whatever fictional characters some person wrote down in an edited book. Those are nice for some, like fingerpainting or basketweaving. I have to deal with real life Wills and estates alone. I have to figure out how to fix up a old farmhouse alone. If people won' be bothered to say hi to someone who lost thir entire family, they probably won' come by to swing a hammer. 

Be happy you probably still have an Emergency contact to list as someone on here very thoughtlessly posted about how awful that would be to not have anyone to write down. 

It is awful. 

Comment by Sara on August 29, 2014 at 5:01pm
I lost my mum and dad by the time I was 24. I'm 49 now and lost my only sibling 9 days ago. It's very strange to be the sole survivor of my birth family.
Comment by Bill Smith on September 14, 2013 at 10:35am

Hi Jessica, I hope Austin is going well for you. I don't know what other sites you may have reached out to but might want to try this one - I've found warm friendly people there, and I think it gets a little more "traffic" so maybe you'll have better luck finding people who can relate: http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/forum/13-loss-of-a-parent-moth...

Best to you.

Comment by Sheila B. on July 8, 2013 at 10:35am

Jessica, I am so sorry for your loses. My daughter and I are both only children and we lost my mom to a sudden heart attack. Wishing your strength and peace. 

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:49am

PS I can't figure out how to leave a group so I guess you're stuck with me.   :)

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:47am

Ruthie, I'm so sorry for your loss as well.  I can't imagine what y'all must be going through.

Hi Jessica - since you've found a kindred spirit here, I'll jump off (again only as I don't "qualify").  I will say that having lost my only love and not being at all close to my family, I can very much relate to feeling very much "alone out there," if that makes any sense, although of course it's not the same thing as what you're dealing with. 

Either of you, feel free to reach out any time.  (PS I have friends in Austin and have heard it's a great place; sounds like a good move for you)

Comment by Ruthie K on April 2, 2013 at 1:38pm
Six months ago, after the death of my father, I became the sole survivor of my original family. I agree, Jessica: it is alienating. I have only a handful of friends my age who have lost a parent, a few who have lost a sibling, but none who has lost all of them. I don't know who to talk to about it. I would love to connect with you, Jessica.
Comment by Jessica Granantowski on April 2, 2013 at 12:16am

Hey Bill - I caught the irony there as well...  it's a pretty alienating experience, which is why I came on this site to begin with.  Definitely appreciate you reaching out - I've just relocated to Austin and figure I might as well start with a suicide support group.  Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you're moving forward through whatever loss you are dealing with too.

Comment by Bill Smith on March 21, 2013 at 1:20pm

Jessica:  I hope you'll forgive me for joining, even if only temporarily, as I do not "qualify" - but I was so touched by your situation and found it sadly ironic how even on this site you are still alone (the only member of the group) that I felt compelled to reach out simply to offer my sympathies and an ear, if you wished, as I can relate to loneliness as I have known plenty, though I appreciate it's not the same as yours of course.  Again, for whatever it's worth.  I'll check back off and on in case you want me to exit the group, or want to talk at all.  Regardless, I am so sorry for your losses and wish you the well in this hardest of paths to try and (again) navigate... 

 

 

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