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Sole Survivors

For those who are the last surviving members of their immediate family.

Location: New York, NY
Members: 11
Latest Activity: Apr 21

I Know I'm Not Alone

I'm starting this group in the hopes of finding others out there who are in my unique situation - having lost my entire immediate family before 30.  My mother passed when I was 13 after a six year battle with breast cancer, and my father died of lung cancer when I was a sophomore in college.  This past New Year's my sister committed suicide, leaving me as the sole survivor of my family.

Ideally I would like to start some sort of meet-up in New York, but I'm not sure how many people will stumble upon this post.  If you're out there, I'd love to connect.

Discussion Forum

One of Two Directions? 4 Replies

So - if you're on this forum, you've probably lost both of your parents and probably at least one sibling, like myself.  Here's my question:  After the loss of both parents while still in your…Continue

Started by Jessica Granantowski. Last reply by Kate Sep 20, 2015.

Lost mom, brother, dad will soon follow...

I hope it's okay to post here... I feel as if I've lost my whole family, though my dad is still physically alive. He has MS and dementia, and his health and mental well-being have severely declined.…Continue

Started by Kimberly Jun 18, 2014.

nightmares

Since i lost my sister which i am having trouble getting over.I have been having nightmares .I don't remember them but my husband says i talk in my sleep and it sounds like I'm fighting with someone…Continue

Started by bobbie Aug 23, 2013.

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Comment by Jen L on April 21, 2018 at 10:40am

I'm not sure anyone is still active in this group but it' the most appropriate group on here I've found I guess. I tried the Multiple losses group but those guys all have tons of people still left as a support system. Hmm. There's no Everyone's Dead-Zero Family extended and so on groups. There's an opportunity I guess. 

Anyways, last year my Mom, Dad, Aunt Brother and dog...even my damn dog died. I had that dog for 14 years, I really wish he hung o considering how muc everything else sucked.

Everyone spaced it out nicely a few months apart for full impact. Illness, not trauma. Dad was the last right before Christmas. I attended the funeral with just the Priest. I was exhausted from making arrangements all year so I just did it alone. 

Now I get to figure out how to keep their beloved horse farm which is in massive debt as I deal with a foreclosure from leaving my job to...wait for it...be with my sick family before they die. Ahhh, lol...death and taxes, so fun for the only one left behind. 

My friends act like none of this is happening. So if I don't act chipper for every moment of the dy, thy wonder why. When I say "I'm upset bout my family being dead and I'm all alone" I've literally gotten "no but really, why are you upset?"

Not one person visited me after any of these losses. Not one. I got invites to come see them sure but it's hard after losing someone. It's

 really hard after losing 2...3...4...5.

Don' tell me to journal or pray to Harry Potter, Bugs Bunny or whatever fictional characters some person wrote down in an edited book. Those are nice for some, like fingerpainting or basketweaving. I have to deal with real life Wills and estates alone. I have to figure out how to fix up a old farmhouse alone. If people won' be bothered to say hi to someone who lost thir entire family, they probably won' come by to swing a hammer. 

Be happy you probably still have an Emergency contact to list as someone on here very thoughtlessly posted about how awful that would be to not have anyone to write down. 

It is awful. 

Comment by Sara on August 29, 2014 at 5:01pm
I lost my mum and dad by the time I was 24. I'm 49 now and lost my only sibling 9 days ago. It's very strange to be the sole survivor of my birth family.
Comment by Bill Smith on September 14, 2013 at 10:35am

Hi Jessica, I hope Austin is going well for you. I don't know what other sites you may have reached out to but might want to try this one - I've found warm friendly people there, and I think it gets a little more "traffic" so maybe you'll have better luck finding people who can relate: http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/forum/13-loss-of-a-parent-moth...

Best to you.

Comment by Sheila B. on July 8, 2013 at 10:35am

Jessica, I am so sorry for your loses. My daughter and I are both only children and we lost my mom to a sudden heart attack. Wishing your strength and peace. 

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:49am

PS I can't figure out how to leave a group so I guess you're stuck with me.   :)

Comment by Bill Smith on April 6, 2013 at 7:47am

Ruthie, I'm so sorry for your loss as well.  I can't imagine what y'all must be going through.

Hi Jessica - since you've found a kindred spirit here, I'll jump off (again only as I don't "qualify").  I will say that having lost my only love and not being at all close to my family, I can very much relate to feeling very much "alone out there," if that makes any sense, although of course it's not the same thing as what you're dealing with. 

Either of you, feel free to reach out any time.  (PS I have friends in Austin and have heard it's a great place; sounds like a good move for you)

Comment by Ruthie K on April 2, 2013 at 1:38pm
Six months ago, after the death of my father, I became the sole survivor of my original family. I agree, Jessica: it is alienating. I have only a handful of friends my age who have lost a parent, a few who have lost a sibling, but none who has lost all of them. I don't know who to talk to about it. I would love to connect with you, Jessica.
Comment by Jessica Granantowski on April 2, 2013 at 12:16am

Hey Bill - I caught the irony there as well...  it's a pretty alienating experience, which is why I came on this site to begin with.  Definitely appreciate you reaching out - I've just relocated to Austin and figure I might as well start with a suicide support group.  Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you're moving forward through whatever loss you are dealing with too.

Comment by Bill Smith on March 21, 2013 at 1:20pm

Jessica:  I hope you'll forgive me for joining, even if only temporarily, as I do not "qualify" - but I was so touched by your situation and found it sadly ironic how even on this site you are still alone (the only member of the group) that I felt compelled to reach out simply to offer my sympathies and an ear, if you wished, as I can relate to loneliness as I have known plenty, though I appreciate it's not the same as yours of course.  Again, for whatever it's worth.  I'll check back off and on in case you want me to exit the group, or want to talk at all.  Regardless, I am so sorry for your losses and wish you the well in this hardest of paths to try and (again) navigate... 

 

 

Members (11)

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
19 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday
Avi joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
Friday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

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