"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash. We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us. I am so tired of being labeled…"
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Patrice Ball
- Female
- Portland, OR
- United States
- Blog Posts
- Discussions (14)
- Groups (2)
- Photos
- Photo Albums
- Videos
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Patrice Ball's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Federal court employee and part-time college instructor in Portland OR
- About my Loss:
- My husband died of cancer (esophagus) in October 2015. I was his caregiver for the final months of his life.
- Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
- n/a
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
364 members
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I miss my Mom!
728 members
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hi
3 members
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Tips to help one cope wi…
24 members
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Has your faith been test…
36 members
Latest Activity
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Lovely pictures everyone. Thank you for sharing. I am in the same boat. I just exist. "
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I,m grateful that I found this site. It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left. I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often. All my so called local…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Linda,
We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003. Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Morgan & Joe,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Joe, 49 years is a long time. Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union. I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35. Long…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Kelly Lieberman posted a status"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them.
My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed"Mindy,
I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
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Patrice,
My husband had always told me that I should look for someone should he die. I'd always say that I didn't want to train anyone new...we'd chuckle...then when he got sick with the cancer, he was more in earnest telling me that it was ok to find someone new...he even told our adult children that I should find someone to spend time with...I have NO plans to do so. I loved my husband so completely that I don't think it would be fair to introduce anyone else into the mix. That's how I feel and I'd be totally surprised IF anyone else would even interest me. But, I have a friend who remarried twice after his wives died...he couldn't be alone.
Hi Patrice, welcome warmly. I thought you might like to know about dailystrength.org if you haven't already found it. It's very upbeat and progressive in its outlook on widowhood. Two members of the group even developed an online friendship, so sweet.