"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
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Patrice Ball
- Female
- Portland, OR
- United States
- Blog Posts
- Discussions (14)
- Groups (2)
- Photos
- Photo Albums
- Videos
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Patrice Ball's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Federal court employee and part-time college instructor in Portland OR
- About my Loss:
- My husband died of cancer (esophagus) in October 2015. I was his caregiver for the final months of his life.
- Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
- n/a
Groups
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I miss my Mom!
728 members
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Lost My Spouse...
364 members
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Grief Counseling
116 members
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Grieving Teens
7 members
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I love my Dad.
395 members
Latest Activity
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi Brett
Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.
Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Bluebird,
I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write. You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was. That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice"Pamela,
I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow. I will be at six years in January. I have pictures of my husband all over my house. I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
Virginia G posted a discussionWhat’s the point
Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness? If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any.
its the only answer"
Pamela philipp posted a blog postI need advice
I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Joe & Bluebird,
Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate. I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently. I wasn’t trying to think of songs either. First it was I…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate.
Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family.
So how am I expected to live without them?"
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"Such a good question.
No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.
If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."morgan,
As usual, I identify so much with your post.
As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
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Patrice,
My husband had always told me that I should look for someone should he die. I'd always say that I didn't want to train anyone new...we'd chuckle...then when he got sick with the cancer, he was more in earnest telling me that it was ok to find someone new...he even told our adult children that I should find someone to spend time with...I have NO plans to do so. I loved my husband so completely that I don't think it would be fair to introduce anyone else into the mix. That's how I feel and I'd be totally surprised IF anyone else would even interest me. But, I have a friend who remarried twice after his wives died...he couldn't be alone.
Hi Patrice, welcome warmly. I thought you might like to know about dailystrength.org if you haven't already found it. It's very upbeat and progressive in its outlook on widowhood. Two members of the group even developed an online friendship, so sweet.