Fran
  • Female
  • Franksville, WI
  • United States
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Fran's Friends

  • cin po
  • Rosanne Wick
  • Patrice Ball
  • Lauri
  • Mel Royer
  • Elizabeth
  • Richard G
  • Sara Schwartztrauber
  • Michael Thompson
  • kathleen akin
  • Valerie
  • Sharon
  • Meghan Kuhlman
  • Leesa Lynch

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Latest Activity

Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
Oct 19
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Jul 13
Taylah B left a comment for Fran
"Thank you Fran for responding to me! I find it so difficult still, and to have someone understand what I am going through truly helps.  I’m sure you did all you could and we both did enough!"
Apr 7
Fran left a comment for Taylah B
"Taylah, Your mother was lucky to have someone like you help her thru those last months. I'm sure she knew you did your best. Don't beat yourself up or blame yourself or think in ANY way that you did NOT do enough. I lost my husband 3 and…"
Apr 7
Fran replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you've heard that a thousand times. This site is a good place to come and vent and not be judged by someone who has NO IDEA what you're going thru. We feel your pain, your agony because we are…"
Mar 4
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"It sucks losing your life long partner!"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"I will be 64 in March and I feel the same way. Right now I am near panic because weather tomorrow(I live in the States) forecasts a rather major snowstorm. My son faces a 1 hour commute and was already in an accident last week and now needs to drive…"
Jan 22
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"Thankyou Fran again. I still find shopping difficult making decisions and can't be bothered to cook for myself relying on ready meals mainly. I compare myself to everyone & feel lacking watching everyone else appearing capable. EVen the…"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"Please don't measure your grief against anyone else's. Each of us grieves differently. I'm sorry your grief overwhelmed you to the point of having a breakdown. Sometimes I think I may have one, too. Things that happen in everyday life…"
Jan 22
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"Thankyou Fran for hearing my plea and responding. I was married to my husband for 44 yrs and knew him for 50. How can you have a loving partner for so long and be O.K when you lose them? I was 0.K for 3 months then crashed spectacularly and was…"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"Marjorie, I'm so sorry you have had to join us on this because it means you've lost your other half! I"m 3 years into this "new normal".  I don't have the numbness I had in the first year. I'm able to…"
Jan 22
Fran replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kyle, I am also very sorry for your loss. You are just beginning the grief process the rest of us are working thru. I remember being totally numb after my husband died. A massive hole in my chest that no one else could see. You mentioned not having…"
Jan 1
Fran commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Oct. 17th was our 30th anniversary. Nov. 6th will be 3 years since I lost Bill. In between I'm finding myself rather weepy...guess it doesn't help that I'm watching Hallmark Christmas movies to deal with it. I KNEW I would miss him,…"
Nov 2, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
Had been an RN since 1980 yet wasn't able to save Bill. I "retired" at the end of 2014, after Bill's death. I just didn't want to be responsible for anyone's life anymore. I'm feeling sucked dry....
About my Loss:
Lost my husband, Bill, November 6, 2014 due to cancer. We had just managed to hit our 27th anniversary before he started deteriorating...I had been off from work since his diagnosis in March. He had hoped to survive long enough to go deer hunting, but, died just 2 weeks shy of that wish.

Comment Wall (47 comments)

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At 5:16pm on April 7, 2018, Taylah B said…

Thank you Fran for responding to me! I find it so difficult still, and to have someone understand what I am going through truly helps. 

I’m sure you did all you could and we both did enough!

At 5:03pm on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

It sucks losing your life long partner!

At 4:43pm on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou Fran again. I still find shopping difficult making decisions and can't be bothered to cook for myself relying on ready meals mainly. I compare myself to everyone & feel lacking watching everyone else appearing capable. EVen the widows at my singing group all appear to have coped with their loss while I struggle every day even after 17 months. That's low self esteem.i can't believe I I'm 71 because I feel like a helpless child!

At 10:56am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou Fran for hearing my plea and responding. I was married to my husband for 44 yrs and knew him for 50. How can you have a loving partner for so long and be O.K when you lose them? I was 0.K for 3 months then crashed spectacularly and was hospitalised with psychosis for 2 months. It's been 17 months now and I'm still on medication. I dread waking up to the loss every morning. I have 3 grown up sons who think I am doing O.K but I'm not really. I don't think I'll ever reach a new normal. The widows I meet all seem to be doing O.K

At 3:41pm on July 29, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

I prayed to God to let her walk again, After 4 days she is up on her feet again, thanks to my prayers and wonderful Vet, I think if I lose her my life is over. Thanks for caring

At 3:08pm on April 17, 2017, Bonnie Gould said…

Thank you Fran. I am trying to find something worth holding on to and not just giving up. There are moments when I dissolve in tears and don't want to continue to exist. Then there are moments when I realize that I hold in my hand the life that my husband so treasured. He fought hard because he wanted his life back from the very first moment that the brain tumor was diagnosed. It took his ability to balance and walk, most of his sight, and some of his reasoning - all at once. All of the physical therapists had to try to hold him back from working so hard to be able to stand and to take a few steps.  I really don't want to go on into a future without him. I don't want to throw away any part of the life he and I both loved and wanted back. Just like him, I want my life back. Neither of us will have gotten our heart's desire.

At 8:53am on March 23, 2017, cin po said…

Hi Fran,

I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when my partner passed away but they won't stop for me so I have to catch up with them. My work is a contract work and it will be ending this July if they will not renew it. So I have to start applying for jobs as early as now so I will have a backup. 

At 9:59am on March 20, 2017, cin po said…
Hi Fran,

Thank you. I am sorry your husband lost to this awful disease. I hate the hospitals now. I hate the idea of anyone going through chemo and radio when the outcome will still be the same as not having a treatment.

I really try not to go to the dark places where my thoughts lead me to. I feel sad looking at photos of older women because that is going to me in the future, only without my partner. Oh how I miss him. I will try to live a life where he will be proud of me. I will try to keep in touch with people who mattered the most to him. He will always be in my heart until the day I die. I never thought I would be ths type of person who says cliche things like this but my partner was my everything.

I finally managed to finish calling all the companies that needed to be informed of my partner's passing today. There's more that needs to be done but I will do things slowly.
At 7:36pm on November 12, 2016, Pamela philipp said…
Hi Fran this is Pam philipp you commented on my page my husband also had a neck surgery before he was diagnosed and they never found anything until they found the throat cancer first about a year after the neck surgery he started complaining about a sore throat so I made him go to the doctor they said it was the stage 2 then they wanted to send him for a pet scan and that's when they found the second cancer in his lungs liver bladder spine and that cancer was a totally separate and different cancer from the throat cancer they had no idea he had it and the secondary cancer was stage four terminal Two months after his diagnosis he was gone it's been almost 14 months and every day I am more lost unfortunately I don't have the family or friends hanging around and being here they all said they would but of course they all lied I guess we just have to deal with it but I really don't know how I hope you have a good support system this website is a good outlet because the people here all do really understand how you feel I hope you have a blessed day thank you for your response it helps
At 11:01pm on June 20, 2016, Sara Schwartztrauber said…

Fran

I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I think I've been hiding from the truth, that my Jim is gone, and he isn't coming back. It's been about 15 months, but sometimes it seems like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like he' been gone 100 years. I decided that I didn't want to sit in the house and cry all summer like I did last year, so I've begun to work on planting flowers, which I've never done, and just making a nice back yard that I could hang out in. I had a brick patio put in, bought all of the cool furniture for on it, and I've yet to even go out there and sit. I just don't really want to do anything without him.

How have you been getting along?

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

M Adams left a comment for clarinda sprankle
"Dear Clarinda, what a terrible loss -- my heart goes out to you.  One of my uncles recently had to move into assisted living for similar reasons, so his wife is now on her own in their apartment.  She seems to be coping, but I'm…"
14 hours ago
Survivor17 updated their profile
yesterday
Survivor17 is now friends with Michael and clarinda sprankle
yesterday
Linda Engberg shared Kristina Rose's photo on Facebook
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan and Trina, Thanks for the two beautiful posts. We are so lucky to have this forum.It is a place we can come to and not be judged by the world for the way we feel. This is the only support we have to make it through our daily lives. Thank…"
yesterday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear morgan, Linda, John, Joe, Denise, JenShep, Monty, and all Those Others reading this, I empathize with you all. My heart goes out to you! I think one of the reasons that others who have not lost a spouse do not understand us is because as Linda…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear morgan, Linda, John, Joe, Denise, JenShep, Monty, and all Those Others reading this, I empathize with you all. My heart goes out to you! I think one of the reasons that others who have not lost a spouse do not understand us is because as Linda…"
Wednesday
Virginia G replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"What about your past?  I have so many regrets about mine.  I think about my whole life and everything I did wrong and how I want to do it over"
Wednesday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am thinking God is trying to tell me I deserve to be alone.   Theresa I know the Doors but don’t like them.  Im old. And I think the penny was from your Mom. Brett, I liked your line, “honking load of crap”.   And…"
Wednesday
mindy posted a discussion

Feeling pretty well depressed

My depression has been at it worse since I lost my grandpa it will be two years March 25th and my past bothers me alot too See More
Tuesday
Kristen Harlow posted a discussion

Feeling alone

I’ve been through a lot. In 2014, my father became officially bedridden on Christmas day due to Frontotemporal dementia and my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. She went through operations, a colostomy bag, and 6 months of chemo. In 2015, my husband’s play went to Broadway, and for that play he was nominated for a Tony award, as was the play itself, the playwright, and 3 of the actors.We went to the Tony award ceremony on June 7, and the next day, out of the blue, he told me he…See More
Tuesday
Profile IconKristen Harlow, Susie A, Ginny Brown and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It isn't a secret how death affects many of us.  Its just avoided when the conversation comes up......For us it is as though we buried ourselves.  I think it is brave and necessary for those who have lost their beloved and still have…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jen, You hit the nail on the head that all people on this site didn't have the kind of love we had with our spouses. They were our soulmates and we were as one."
Tuesday
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I haven't posted in a while but I'm still in the same boat I was last time I posted and to come back here and read others' posts that sound so much like what I'm still going through is a bit of a comfort.  Joe, like you I…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi John, I still have the car my Husband and  bought in 2003. I keep it in tip top shape because it is still part of him and brings me comfort. After almost six years I still attend the annual workshop "Hope for the Holidays" given by…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I believe when you are talking to God your mom hears you she is right there. I also do not get any signals, but pay closer attention. I was praying to her one night because someone close to me is not well, and I said please mom help, please ask…"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I also talk to God now at my home or in temple. It makes me feel that I am talking to my mom.  I did not receive any signals which make me feel that my mother is nearby but I still believe that she can listen me. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I wish I could go to church with you. Church is very emotional for me. It's a combination of sadness and a feeling that I am close to my mom there. I cry a lot at church. Not out loud, but I try to sit in the back now. I don't…"
Tuesday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"A few days ago, our old car blew a head gasket on the freeway as I was on the way for a consultation with a doctor about skin cancer.  I am a baby about it even though it's not life-threatening.  Another of those times when I feel so…"
Tuesday

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