Fran
  • Female
  • Franksville, WI
  • United States
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  • cin po
  • Rosanne Wick
  • Patrice Ball
  • Lauri
  • Mel Royer
  • Elizabeth
  • Richard G
  • Sara Schwartztrauber
  • Michael Thompson
  • kathleen akin
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Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Jul 13
Taylah B left a comment for Fran
"Thank you Fran for responding to me! I find it so difficult still, and to have someone understand what I am going through truly helps.  I’m sure you did all you could and we both did enough!"
Apr 7
Fran left a comment for Taylah B
"Taylah, Your mother was lucky to have someone like you help her thru those last months. I'm sure she knew you did your best. Don't beat yourself up or blame yourself or think in ANY way that you did NOT do enough. I lost my husband 3 and…"
Apr 7
Fran replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you've heard that a thousand times. This site is a good place to come and vent and not be judged by someone who has NO IDEA what you're going thru. We feel your pain, your agony because we are…"
Mar 4
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"It sucks losing your life long partner!"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"I will be 64 in March and I feel the same way. Right now I am near panic because weather tomorrow(I live in the States) forecasts a rather major snowstorm. My son faces a 1 hour commute and was already in an accident last week and now needs to drive…"
Jan 22
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"Thankyou Fran again. I still find shopping difficult making decisions and can't be bothered to cook for myself relying on ready meals mainly. I compare myself to everyone & feel lacking watching everyone else appearing capable. EVen the…"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"Please don't measure your grief against anyone else's. Each of us grieves differently. I'm sorry your grief overwhelmed you to the point of having a breakdown. Sometimes I think I may have one, too. Things that happen in everyday life…"
Jan 22
Marjorie Willcox left a comment for Fran
"Thankyou Fran for hearing my plea and responding. I was married to my husband for 44 yrs and knew him for 50. How can you have a loving partner for so long and be O.K when you lose them? I was 0.K for 3 months then crashed spectacularly and was…"
Jan 22
Fran left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"Marjorie, I'm so sorry you have had to join us on this because it means you've lost your other half! I"m 3 years into this "new normal".  I don't have the numbness I had in the first year. I'm able to…"
Jan 22
Fran replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kyle, I am also very sorry for your loss. You are just beginning the grief process the rest of us are working thru. I remember being totally numb after my husband died. A massive hole in my chest that no one else could see. You mentioned not having…"
Jan 1
Fran commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Oct. 17th was our 30th anniversary. Nov. 6th will be 3 years since I lost Bill. In between I'm finding myself rather weepy...guess it doesn't help that I'm watching Hallmark Christmas movies to deal with it. I KNEW I would miss him,…"
Nov 2, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
Had been an RN since 1980 yet wasn't able to save Bill. I "retired" at the end of 2014, after Bill's death. I just didn't want to be responsible for anyone's life anymore. I'm feeling sucked dry....
About my Loss:
Lost my husband, Bill, November 6, 2014 due to cancer. We had just managed to hit our 27th anniversary before he started deteriorating...I had been off from work since his diagnosis in March. He had hoped to survive long enough to go deer hunting, but, died just 2 weeks shy of that wish.

Comment Wall (47 comments)

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At 5:16pm on April 7, 2018, Taylah B said…

Thank you Fran for responding to me! I find it so difficult still, and to have someone understand what I am going through truly helps. 

I’m sure you did all you could and we both did enough!

At 5:03pm on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

It sucks losing your life long partner!

At 4:43pm on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou Fran again. I still find shopping difficult making decisions and can't be bothered to cook for myself relying on ready meals mainly. I compare myself to everyone & feel lacking watching everyone else appearing capable. EVen the widows at my singing group all appear to have coped with their loss while I struggle every day even after 17 months. That's low self esteem.i can't believe I I'm 71 because I feel like a helpless child!

At 10:56am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou Fran for hearing my plea and responding. I was married to my husband for 44 yrs and knew him for 50. How can you have a loving partner for so long and be O.K when you lose them? I was 0.K for 3 months then crashed spectacularly and was hospitalised with psychosis for 2 months. It's been 17 months now and I'm still on medication. I dread waking up to the loss every morning. I have 3 grown up sons who think I am doing O.K but I'm not really. I don't think I'll ever reach a new normal. The widows I meet all seem to be doing O.K

At 3:41pm on July 29, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

I prayed to God to let her walk again, After 4 days she is up on her feet again, thanks to my prayers and wonderful Vet, I think if I lose her my life is over. Thanks for caring

At 3:08pm on April 17, 2017, Bonnie Gould said…

Thank you Fran. I am trying to find something worth holding on to and not just giving up. There are moments when I dissolve in tears and don't want to continue to exist. Then there are moments when I realize that I hold in my hand the life that my husband so treasured. He fought hard because he wanted his life back from the very first moment that the brain tumor was diagnosed. It took his ability to balance and walk, most of his sight, and some of his reasoning - all at once. All of the physical therapists had to try to hold him back from working so hard to be able to stand and to take a few steps.  I really don't want to go on into a future without him. I don't want to throw away any part of the life he and I both loved and wanted back. Just like him, I want my life back. Neither of us will have gotten our heart's desire.

At 8:53am on March 23, 2017, cin po said…

Hi Fran,

I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when my partner passed away but they won't stop for me so I have to catch up with them. My work is a contract work and it will be ending this July if they will not renew it. So I have to start applying for jobs as early as now so I will have a backup. 

At 9:59am on March 20, 2017, cin po said…
Hi Fran,

Thank you. I am sorry your husband lost to this awful disease. I hate the hospitals now. I hate the idea of anyone going through chemo and radio when the outcome will still be the same as not having a treatment.

I really try not to go to the dark places where my thoughts lead me to. I feel sad looking at photos of older women because that is going to me in the future, only without my partner. Oh how I miss him. I will try to live a life where he will be proud of me. I will try to keep in touch with people who mattered the most to him. He will always be in my heart until the day I die. I never thought I would be ths type of person who says cliche things like this but my partner was my everything.

I finally managed to finish calling all the companies that needed to be informed of my partner's passing today. There's more that needs to be done but I will do things slowly.
At 7:36pm on November 12, 2016, Pamela philipp said…
Hi Fran this is Pam philipp you commented on my page my husband also had a neck surgery before he was diagnosed and they never found anything until they found the throat cancer first about a year after the neck surgery he started complaining about a sore throat so I made him go to the doctor they said it was the stage 2 then they wanted to send him for a pet scan and that's when they found the second cancer in his lungs liver bladder spine and that cancer was a totally separate and different cancer from the throat cancer they had no idea he had it and the secondary cancer was stage four terminal Two months after his diagnosis he was gone it's been almost 14 months and every day I am more lost unfortunately I don't have the family or friends hanging around and being here they all said they would but of course they all lied I guess we just have to deal with it but I really don't know how I hope you have a good support system this website is a good outlet because the people here all do really understand how you feel I hope you have a blessed day thank you for your response it helps
At 11:01pm on June 20, 2016, Sara Schwartztrauber said…

Fran

I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I think I've been hiding from the truth, that my Jim is gone, and he isn't coming back. It's been about 15 months, but sometimes it seems like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like he' been gone 100 years. I decided that I didn't want to sit in the house and cry all summer like I did last year, so I've begun to work on planting flowers, which I've never done, and just making a nice back yard that I could hang out in. I had a brick patio put in, bought all of the cool furniture for on it, and I've yet to even go out there and sit. I just don't really want to do anything without him.

How have you been getting along?

 
 
 

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Profile IconMarion Mcglashon, Bandar killa and Emily joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Robin H left a comment for Robin H
"Hey There People, most of the comments look kinda old here... Are they?"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, losing your mom is hard enough. When you also lived with her that takes it to a whole different level because you didn't experience the natural separation that other adults do. That's sure what happened to me. I lived with my mom and…"
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Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you everyone. My mom had refused to see doctors for seven years; she feel ill, finally went, was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer in her throat, lung, and liver, went directly to hospice, and died less than 4 weeks from the initial…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
yesterday
Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
yesterday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Sunday
Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
Sunday
Suzy Tatz joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Sunday
Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"ANA BECOAH BY ovadia chamama. Miracle prayer even for those who do not believe in anything. It will act as a password and will open the universe who will answer your petition. Please bluebird just try the same way a tried and it worked. Remember you…"
Sunday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird please go to you tube in listen to a song called Ana Becoh by Ovadiada Chamama. This song will act as a password to the universe. You do not need to believe in any religion but It worked for me and I am an agnostic. I lost my husband 21…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Bluebird. I always remember you and wonder how you are doing since the last time I wrote to you for the first time when I found this blog. It has been a while and I was hoping by this time you were doing better. Please understand that you will…"
Sunday
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Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"So sorry to hear. My heart absolutely breaks for you. I know that you've mentioned suicide many times on here, and I just wanted to let you know that I actually did attempt about 10 months after my fiancé died. Life had literally become…"
Sunday
Lia Lynch posted a blog post

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  A…

Three days ago, my mom died.  She was alone when she died -- or, at least, she had no family member present. I'd been to the hospice the morning before, and she'd told me, "I'm going to die soon."  All I could do was cry, and tell her I was going to miss her.  She told me to stop. I decided to take my leave from work as soon as I could, told her I was going into work to do that.  And I did.  But she did not wait for me.  She died the next morning, and I did not make it there in time.My mother…See More
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