Kathleen Jordan
  • Female
  • Lake Placid, FL
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
4 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
5 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"And now I am trying to get my folks to move in with me. They are staying here because  their house got contaminated with mold. I thank my hunny because the house is already set up for them because of him,and it has been helpful to me to call…"
Monday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have…"
Monday
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I entirely understand this. Lately, I'm spending so much more time sleeping, but I don't have bad dreams anymore. I have dreams that I remember, and he's usually in them.  I smile when I see him...even if it is in dreams. I try…"
Apr 14
Jon-Paul Ackerman replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathleen this is how it is and will get worse. When u realize that all you have is self and Him, then u can move on and have fun making Him proud. Don't expect ppl to care. It's going on three years for me and it gets progressively worse…"
Apr 12
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"In reading this thread, I have seen many things.  Since I lost  my Scott, some of my colleagues have become friendlier...One of them lost her husband 20 years ago...she is still single, and she still has many of his belongings. Another…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My hunny received a letter while we were waiting for the hearing (3rd step) that said, you are denied because you are dead.....imagine receiving THAT letter."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan posted a video

Every Little Thing - Carly Pearce

Lyrics video.....enjoy!
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"It's  getting better....I am finding that if I stand up for what I am feeling, people around me are better about it; they almost loosen up.  Thank you for your input."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"I had someone come up to me this weekend and say "I understand" and I felt ballsy enough to say, "who did you  lose?" and they said no-oneto which I replied...Then you  DON'T understand, and you won't until…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you.   I was looking over advice from my widowed friends, and one talked about  living life....I understood...when someone commits suicide, it's so much harder on the person left behind.  But when people try to "set me…"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Beautifully done"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"That is entirely real and what I feel as well....my joy should be everyone's joy....as well as yours.  Keep that in  your heart. It's beautiful."
Apr 4
Linda Engberg replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kathleen, It has been four years since I lost my wonderful and soulmate Julian, I don't even bring his name up anymore because nobody feels comfortable talking about him. Thank God for my therapist, I have been seeing her three years and I…"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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No one seems to remember

Stay social, they say.  Keep in touch with your "support". Don't let others tell you what to    say or think.   Sounds great, and sometimes it actually works. Tonight I went out to hopefully see people that could be there to "help" with my life issues that are happening[today was very stressful and full of anxiety]. Also, I knew I'd see people that know us both. I was totally blown away by the non-acknowledgement of him.  It felt like he didn't even ever exist tonight.  Friends that had known…See More
Apr 3

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 52, a high school teacher, and it took me 3 marriages/divorces and 16 years to find the love of my life. I ride motorcycles, sew, have a wonderful daughter and cowboy grandson. I have cats and a dog (thanks to my protective daughter) and live in the boonies.
About my Loss:
My significant other was in a horrible motorcycle accident in March of 2015. He was in ICU for 3 weeks, had 2 rods in his back from T5-T12, and left the hospital 4 weeks after his accident. I was his care giver all summer, and then I had to go back to work. He moved forward, even got back on the bike and became tough again(for the ride). He refused to take opioids and hated the follow up doctors he had. It took until he was so swelled that he couldn't get in his tennis shoes and I had been diagnosed with breast cancer before he finally went to the emergency room. By that time, it was too late. His liver was failing (cirrhosis), and one hospital sent him home with meds he couldn't take. I had my lumpectomy on Friday and he went back in the hospital Monday. He left the hospital on Saturday, October 15th, 2016--his 49th birthday--and signed himself into hospice. He stayed home. He was lucid for about three days and passed that Friday. We were fighting for his social security, but since we weren't married, he got a letter after he died that he wasn't eligible because he was deceased.

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Kathleen Jordan's Blog

Anniversary Dates

Last night was tough....very tough.  2 years ago, I thought he was going to die then. It was an emotional month while he was in ICU and step down.  But, it was the same date (5 months ago) that he went to his peace and I went here.  Today was not good either...especially when my mom realized what yesterday was and facebook showed a memory of him last year...almost healthy.  Some one said that the dates are hard, but it gets more routine.

There are times that I  wonder if I was too…

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Posted on March 22, 2017 at 6:15pm

I don't know what to title this

Tomorrow is that day....that horrible day when everything started to go to crap.  When he quit cooking for our riders, he went on a memorial run for a friend of ours that got in an accident the year before....the day that he got into his accident....and died in the ambulance.....I saw the chopper set down, and an acquaintance of mine ran out as the paramedic...and I yelled at him..."That's my hunny in there!  PLEASE take care of him!"....That was 2 years ago.    Yes, I got him for an extra…

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Posted on March 20, 2017 at 10:30pm

Memories

Maybe I'm strange. I enjoy my memories.  Granted, it's tough and time is making it a little easier, but I think that it is only because I am learning how to "behave" when I remember.  I felt extremely lucky to have my hunny for the extra year and a half that I got. He died in the ambulance at his accident and if his C1 had chipped 1 mm the other way, he would've died or been paralyzed. Even though that year and a half was hard--I was caregiver for 5 months while he grew in strength and…

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Posted on March 17, 2017 at 9:36pm

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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
3 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
3 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
4 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
4 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
4 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
5 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
6 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
8 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
9 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
10 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
11 hours ago
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something…"
11 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a…"
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My best friends parrot died yesterday and it is hitting me very hard. I am not dealing with it well right now. Lots of tears and sadness. Will this never stop? I do not think it is all about the parrot. It is tied in with my Mom's death…"
15 hours ago
silvia maria posted blog posts
16 hours ago
Chum commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I"
19 hours ago

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