Kathleen Jordan
  • Female
  • Lake Placid, FL
  • United States
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Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"Fabulous!  Enjoy the small moments.  I still run my karaoke business, but it was so hard to  sing so many songs without choking up during them.  Now, I've found a way to pull strength from them. I wish I  could explain…"
Apr 30
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
Apr 26
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
Apr 26
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"And now I am trying to get my folks to move in with me. They are staying here because  their house got contaminated with mold. I thank my hunny because the house is already set up for them because of him,and it has been helpful to me to call…"
Apr 23
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have…"
Apr 23
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I entirely understand this. Lately, I'm spending so much more time sleeping, but I don't have bad dreams anymore. I have dreams that I remember, and he's usually in them.  I smile when I see him...even if it is in dreams. I try…"
Apr 14
Jon-Paul Ackerman replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathleen this is how it is and will get worse. When u realize that all you have is self and Him, then u can move on and have fun making Him proud. Don't expect ppl to care. It's going on three years for me and it gets progressively worse…"
Apr 12
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"In reading this thread, I have seen many things.  Since I lost  my Scott, some of my colleagues have become friendlier...One of them lost her husband 20 years ago...she is still single, and she still has many of his belongings. Another…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My hunny received a letter while we were waiting for the hearing (3rd step) that said, you are denied because you are dead.....imagine receiving THAT letter."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan posted a video

Every Little Thing - Carly Pearce

Lyrics video.....enjoy!
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"It's  getting better....I am finding that if I stand up for what I am feeling, people around me are better about it; they almost loosen up.  Thank you for your input."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"I had someone come up to me this weekend and say "I understand" and I felt ballsy enough to say, "who did you  lose?" and they said no-oneto which I replied...Then you  DON'T understand, and you won't until…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you.   I was looking over advice from my widowed friends, and one talked about  living life....I understood...when someone commits suicide, it's so much harder on the person left behind.  But when people try to "set me…"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Beautifully done"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"That is entirely real and what I feel as well....my joy should be everyone's joy....as well as yours.  Keep that in  your heart. It's beautiful."
Apr 4
Linda Engberg replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kathleen, It has been four years since I lost my wonderful and soulmate Julian, I don't even bring his name up anymore because nobody feels comfortable talking about him. Thank God for my therapist, I have been seeing her three years and I…"
Apr 4

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 52, a high school teacher, and it took me 3 marriages/divorces and 16 years to find the love of my life. I ride motorcycles, sew, have a wonderful daughter and cowboy grandson. I have cats and a dog (thanks to my protective daughter) and live in the boonies.
About my Loss:
My significant other was in a horrible motorcycle accident in March of 2015. He was in ICU for 3 weeks, had 2 rods in his back from T5-T12, and left the hospital 4 weeks after his accident. I was his care giver all summer, and then I had to go back to work. He moved forward, even got back on the bike and became tough again(for the ride). He refused to take opioids and hated the follow up doctors he had. It took until he was so swelled that he couldn't get in his tennis shoes and I had been diagnosed with breast cancer before he finally went to the emergency room. By that time, it was too late. His liver was failing (cirrhosis), and one hospital sent him home with meds he couldn't take. I had my lumpectomy on Friday and he went back in the hospital Monday. He left the hospital on Saturday, October 15th, 2016--his 49th birthday--and signed himself into hospice. He stayed home. He was lucid for about three days and passed that Friday. We were fighting for his social security, but since we weren't married, he got a letter after he died that he wasn't eligible because he was deceased.

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Kathleen Jordan's Blog

Anniversary Dates

Last night was tough....very tough.  2 years ago, I thought he was going to die then. It was an emotional month while he was in ICU and step down.  But, it was the same date (5 months ago) that he went to his peace and I went here.  Today was not good either...especially when my mom realized what yesterday was and facebook showed a memory of him last year...almost healthy.  Some one said that the dates are hard, but it gets more routine.

There are times that I  wonder if I was too…

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Posted on March 22, 2017 at 6:15pm

I don't know what to title this

Tomorrow is that day....that horrible day when everything started to go to crap.  When he quit cooking for our riders, he went on a memorial run for a friend of ours that got in an accident the year before....the day that he got into his accident....and died in the ambulance.....I saw the chopper set down, and an acquaintance of mine ran out as the paramedic...and I yelled at him..."That's my hunny in there!  PLEASE take care of him!"....That was 2 years ago.    Yes, I got him for an extra…

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Posted on March 20, 2017 at 10:30pm

Memories

Maybe I'm strange. I enjoy my memories.  Granted, it's tough and time is making it a little easier, but I think that it is only because I am learning how to "behave" when I remember.  I felt extremely lucky to have my hunny for the extra year and a half that I got. He died in the ambulance at his accident and if his C1 had chipped 1 mm the other way, he would've died or been paralyzed. Even though that year and a half was hard--I was caregiver for 5 months while he grew in strength and…

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Posted on March 17, 2017 at 9:36pm

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Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
45 minutes ago
Nancy replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FINALLY LOSING IT
"Richard. I didn't know your wife nor do I know you but I'm quite sure she is mortified watching you self destruct. She would not want you to give up and hurt her by hurting yourself. She is still with you and you need to respect the love…"
1 hour ago
Karen Wilson posted a blog post

Lost my Son -only child in March of this year

Hello -My name is Karen.  I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering.  I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist.  I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose.  I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really rough morning. I pray for some relief. This is not what my Mom would have wanted for me.  Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry. Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life. The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
4 hours ago
Jenn updated their profile
5 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Love is an amazing thing. There are times when I think that my mom has all the love that I have to offer, but there is always room for one more person. Even hundreds more.   people. "
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My heart is also with each one of you. Hugs and love to you all Bluebell"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me. I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
15 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way. But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I always say we too. It is not just I because he lives in Heaven."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jackie Cook It's been 4 years since I lost my Husband, it will always be us not me. "
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T. I am surprised that I am still alive after losing my Husband 4 Years ago, I just go day to day hoping one day won't wake up."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, Don't feel bad about not standing happy couples and family, It has been 4 years and I still feel that way. I just can't get over losing my kind, wonderful, Husband."
18 hours ago

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