Kathleen Jordan
  • Female
  • Lake Placid, FL
  • United States
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Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"Fabulous!  Enjoy the small moments.  I still run my karaoke business, but it was so hard to  sing so many songs without choking up during them.  Now, I've found a way to pull strength from them. I wish I  could explain…"
Apr 30
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
Apr 26
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
Apr 26
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"And now I am trying to get my folks to move in with me. They are staying here because  their house got contaminated with mold. I thank my hunny because the house is already set up for them because of him,and it has been helpful to me to call…"
Apr 23
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have…"
Apr 23
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I entirely understand this. Lately, I'm spending so much more time sleeping, but I don't have bad dreams anymore. I have dreams that I remember, and he's usually in them.  I smile when I see him...even if it is in dreams. I try…"
Apr 14
Jon-Paul Ackerman replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathleen this is how it is and will get worse. When u realize that all you have is self and Him, then u can move on and have fun making Him proud. Don't expect ppl to care. It's going on three years for me and it gets progressively worse…"
Apr 12
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"In reading this thread, I have seen many things.  Since I lost  my Scott, some of my colleagues have become friendlier...One of them lost her husband 20 years ago...she is still single, and she still has many of his belongings. Another…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Matthew Dirig's discussion One year.... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My hunny received a letter while we were waiting for the hearing (3rd step) that said, you are denied because you are dead.....imagine receiving THAT letter."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan posted a video

Every Little Thing - Carly Pearce

Lyrics video.....enjoy!
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"It's  getting better....I am finding that if I stand up for what I am feeling, people around me are better about it; they almost loosen up.  Thank you for your input."
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan commented on joanne's blog post people have no clue
"I had someone come up to me this weekend and say "I understand" and I felt ballsy enough to say, "who did you  lose?" and they said no-oneto which I replied...Then you  DON'T understand, and you won't until…"
Apr 11
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you.   I was looking over advice from my widowed friends, and one talked about  living life....I understood...when someone commits suicide, it's so much harder on the person left behind.  But when people try to "set me…"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Beautifully done"
Apr 4
Kathleen Jordan replied to Maxey's discussion Scary thoughts lately in the group Lost My Spouse...
"That is entirely real and what I feel as well....my joy should be everyone's joy....as well as yours.  Keep that in  your heart. It's beautiful."
Apr 4
Linda Engberg replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kathleen, It has been four years since I lost my wonderful and soulmate Julian, I don't even bring his name up anymore because nobody feels comfortable talking about him. Thank God for my therapist, I have been seeing her three years and I…"
Apr 4

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 52, a high school teacher, and it took me 3 marriages/divorces and 16 years to find the love of my life. I ride motorcycles, sew, have a wonderful daughter and cowboy grandson. I have cats and a dog (thanks to my protective daughter) and live in the boonies.
About my Loss:
My significant other was in a horrible motorcycle accident in March of 2015. He was in ICU for 3 weeks, had 2 rods in his back from T5-T12, and left the hospital 4 weeks after his accident. I was his care giver all summer, and then I had to go back to work. He moved forward, even got back on the bike and became tough again(for the ride). He refused to take opioids and hated the follow up doctors he had. It took until he was so swelled that he couldn't get in his tennis shoes and I had been diagnosed with breast cancer before he finally went to the emergency room. By that time, it was too late. His liver was failing (cirrhosis), and one hospital sent him home with meds he couldn't take. I had my lumpectomy on Friday and he went back in the hospital Monday. He left the hospital on Saturday, October 15th, 2016--his 49th birthday--and signed himself into hospice. He stayed home. He was lucid for about three days and passed that Friday. We were fighting for his social security, but since we weren't married, he got a letter after he died that he wasn't eligible because he was deceased.

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Kathleen Jordan's Blog

Anniversary Dates

Last night was tough....very tough.  2 years ago, I thought he was going to die then. It was an emotional month while he was in ICU and step down.  But, it was the same date (5 months ago) that he went to his peace and I went here.  Today was not good either...especially when my mom realized what yesterday was and facebook showed a memory of him last year...almost healthy.  Some one said that the dates are hard, but it gets more routine.

There are times that I  wonder if I was too…

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Posted on March 22, 2017 at 6:15pm

I don't know what to title this

Tomorrow is that day....that horrible day when everything started to go to crap.  When he quit cooking for our riders, he went on a memorial run for a friend of ours that got in an accident the year before....the day that he got into his accident....and died in the ambulance.....I saw the chopper set down, and an acquaintance of mine ran out as the paramedic...and I yelled at him..."That's my hunny in there!  PLEASE take care of him!"....That was 2 years ago.    Yes, I got him for an extra…

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Posted on March 20, 2017 at 10:30pm

Memories

Maybe I'm strange. I enjoy my memories.  Granted, it's tough and time is making it a little easier, but I think that it is only because I am learning how to "behave" when I remember.  I felt extremely lucky to have my hunny for the extra year and a half that I got. He died in the ambulance at his accident and if his C1 had chipped 1 mm the other way, he would've died or been paralyzed. Even though that year and a half was hard--I was caregiver for 5 months while he grew in strength and…

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Posted on March 17, 2017 at 9:36pm

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Latest Activity

KIM Montgomery left a comment for Nora
"Nora,  Our group is run through Kaiser and we meet every week.  It helps. I am actually thinking about individual counseling as well. Today was a really rough day.  I do know I have to come to work. Working from home I just want to…"
4 hours ago
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nora: I have been thinking about you and getting a job. How is that going? I think I remember you saying that you had to leave your job because they did not give you enough time off when your husband died? Of course I do not want to over step…"
4 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, How often do you have meetings? I found a group but they only meet eery 3 weeks. I am not sure yet. Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience. Steve's daughter was really grieving at the beginning but now she only…"
9 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
10 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
10 hours ago
Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
19 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
yesterday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
yesterday
AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
Tuesday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
Tuesday
Nora posted a status
"Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
Tuesday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
Tuesday
Jennifer B posted a photo
Tuesday
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Tuesday
Bethany posted a blog post

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
Monday
gregory harvey posted a blog post

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
Monday
morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
Monday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
Monday

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