"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
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Angela
- 57, Female
- La Porte, TX
- United States
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- Discussions (12)
- Groups (2)
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Angela's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I became a widow in october 2016. My second husband was the love of my life, together four years and married three of them. My sons are grown and out of the home. I work full time and have two dogs that are great company.
- About my Loss:
- My husband had been in and out of the hospital for several years with internal bleeding issues. Hemoglobin always low and a hereditary platelet disorder that causes blood to clot and bleed, over and over. His final hospitalization was for a blood clot on the left side of his brain. The medical teams worked hard to keep the bleeding under control for six days but it would not stop. He then was in a coma and had no brain function. Palliative care was done and he died peacefully while I held him. There is no laughter at home, I miss his jokes and can't remember any of them. We were affectionate and now there is nothing. Grief counseling helps but I have to make it a weekly session, I think. My sons are grown and live kind of close, but are busy and I don't want to burden them or anyone so I always say I am ok or fine. I can be more honest with a friend who is a widow of six months and was married almost 50 years. Or a cousin who is widowed twice and her adult daughter died a few years ago. But they have their pain so I am looking here for something to help me.
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
364 members
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I miss my Mom!
729 members
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for loved ones who have …
57 members
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Signs from Our Loved Ones
32 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
607 members
Latest Activity
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
"M Adams,
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
"Hi Morgan,
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
mindy posted a status"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Patrick E Woodson posted a status"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I never cried much before, but I do now. I think crying does help. I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since. It has been over three months, but I still feel numb. "
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