"Hello Friends,
As all of you have stated, I too fake my happiness. I laugh on the outside and am crying for him on the inside. I ache so bad that my Julian is not in my life. I just don't understand why God won't take me. Until he does, I…"
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Angela
- 57, Female
- La Porte, TX
- United States
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- Discussions (12)
- Groups (2)
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I became a widow in october 2016. My second husband was the love of my life, together four years and married three of them. My sons are grown and out of the home. I work full time and have two dogs that are great company.
- About my Loss:
- My husband had been in and out of the hospital for several years with internal bleeding issues. Hemoglobin always low and a hereditary platelet disorder that causes blood to clot and bleed, over and over. His final hospitalization was for a blood clot on the left side of his brain. The medical teams worked hard to keep the bleeding under control for six days but it would not stop. He then was in a coma and had no brain function. Palliative care was done and he died peacefully while I held him. There is no laughter at home, I miss his jokes and can't remember any of them. We were affectionate and now there is nothing. Grief counseling helps but I have to make it a weekly session, I think. My sons are grown and live kind of close, but are busy and I don't want to burden them or anyone so I always say I am ok or fine. I can be more honest with a friend who is a widow of six months and was married almost 50 years. Or a cousin who is widowed twice and her adult daughter died a few years ago. But they have their pain so I am looking here for something to help me.
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
364 members
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I miss my Mom!
731 members
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Lost Without My Mom
249 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
438 members
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Loss of an Only Child
16 members
Latest Activity
"Morgan. I wish I had answers but I am in the very same place. Lost, fake and hollow. I feel worse than I did a year ago I think because I thought I would feel better and don't. Empty and apathetic. I'm tired all the…"
"morgan,
I don't know why this has happened to us, our soulmates being torn from us, but it fucking sucks. Have you considered not acting happy and normal, since that isn't how you feel? Especially if acting that way isn't helping…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Please somebody, tell me how I can continue to do this. I am so depressed. I get up every day and pretend. It's what is making me so depressed. It looks like I am functioning so normally. Now that I have learned…"
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom"Great reply Sandra"
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I am so happy for you & your family. I am glad your daughter had a great birthday! That first birthday is always special. Take care, "
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi All,
Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
"Teresa D.
the line is "Mama don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..."
Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
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