Jackie cooke
  • Female
  • Cheshire,,england
  • United Kingdom
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Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was…"
3 minutes ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
9 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
11 hours ago
Jackie cooke replied to morgan's discussion Loss and Attachment
"Himmorgan, I have just found and read this am I in bits, it's 6 weeks since my world came to an end and I still finding it hard to just keep breathing everyday let alone function as a person. I to have no children, I don't really have…"
yesterday
Jackie cooke left a comment for Lost with out him
"I feel the same agonising pain, 5 weeks since my partner of 36 years died in my arms, everyday is worse than the day before, I don't want to wake up alone, go through the day alone, and go to bed alone, each second without her by me is one too…"
Apr 19
bluebird commented on Jackie cooke's blog post Help
"My husband died 4.5 years ago, and to me it is still not real. This world is not real, my life is not real and is pointless. I don't think that will ever change, for me. I can't really offer any help as far as grief goes, but if you…"
Apr 16
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't see any point in anything, I have never been alone, I was with my partner from the age of 16 and I'm now 51. There's no money to speak off and paying the bills is scary. I feel for you bonnie I really do, I to keep feeding the…"
Apr 16
Jackie cooke left a comment for Ana
"Hi a a, so sorry you have had to find this group, I lost my my partner of 36 years on 12 March so I understand your pain. I can't offer any help as struggling through each minute myself but sending loving wishes"
Apr 15
Jackie cooke left a comment for Jessica
"Love to you Jessica, I can't comfort you but understand your pain"
Apr 15
Jackie cooke left a comment for Eric Rhodes
"Hi Eric, I know how you are feeling, talking on here does help as this group is the only ones that understand the agony of this ew life we don't want"
Apr 15
Jackie cooke left a comment for irina c
"Everyone on here understands, we are in the same living hell, it's a club tha none of us wanted to join. Reading other posts does make you feel less alone."
Apr 15
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I had the Saturday morning normal, just doing normal things, then my world ended . How come rapist and murders and child abusers stay living"
Apr 14
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was just thinking the same, this time 5 week ago was a normal mundane Friday, usual boring jobs, nothing exciting, oh how I want it all back"
Apr 14
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm sitting here alone wishing I could get sick, how wrong is that, but I just don't want to carry on"
Apr 14
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know Jerry, we have a huge garden and spent hours together working in it, our green house sinful, of all our plans for this year, baskets waiting to be filled. I got no interest now. Comments I have recieved, least you got summer coming up! Least…"
Apr 14
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's just over 4 weeks since my life came to an end and I really can't stand the thought of carrying on. Im so scared of people,forgetting and can't beat the thought of people living and not knowing. Im scared of everything.…"
Apr 11

Profile Information

About Me:
51 female
About my Loss:
12 March my world came to an end when my life long partner died. We met when I was 16, I am now 51, in the morning she was fine, bustling round the house, looking avenger me as I had broken my ankle. At 12.15 she sat down with me had a drink and discussed our nights tv viewing. She then said she felt hot and started breathing heavily, I got her inhaler, she said I think in dying, and instead of saying i love you I said no your not just sit a minute and get your breath. She then grabbed my hand and said I'm going and was gone. The ambulance took 40 mins to get to me, then drove past as couldn't find us, all the time I was doing chest compressions but nothing worked. She was put on ventilator in hospital for 24 hours so family could come and say goodbye. I don't know what to do.i am alone for the first time. I can't eat sleep or drink, iv no money and can't face working. I just want to fall asleep and not wake up ,there is no point in life now

Jackie cooke's Blog

Help

Hi I have just found and joined this site and really need some help to go on, I lost my partner 3 weeks ago, we have been together since I was 16, I am 51 now. I am in such shock, she was fine in the morning, I have a broken ankle so she was bustling around looking after me, then she said she felt hot. She sat down and said I think I'm dying, I said don't be daft you've done to much just get your breath, then she looked at me, grabbed my hand said I'm going and just died.

What do I do, I… Continue

Posted on April 5, 2017 at 4:55am — 6 Comments

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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
3 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
3 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
4 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
4 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
4 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
5 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
6 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
8 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
9 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
10 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
11 hours ago
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something…"
11 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a…"
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My best friends parrot died yesterday and it is hitting me very hard. I am not dealing with it well right now. Lots of tears and sadness. Will this never stop? I do not think it is all about the parrot. It is tied in with my Mom's death…"
15 hours ago
silvia maria posted blog posts
16 hours ago
Chum commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I"
19 hours ago

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