"Oh! Shoot. I'm sure I have some disorders lol but that's not what I'm trying to do!
Well I'm sure I can meditate on whatever hurts the most. God, idk if I wanna do that. I'll probably just cry and cry and cry. I know…"
"Iboga is more of a receptor resetter lol like to kick addictions and reverse disorders ect. I like to meditate on whatever thoughts hurt the most, and thee absolute worst scenarios. It leads me straight to my Source. Core. Then I can pretty much do…"
"hahaha well I agree with you about it not being a great thing to have a life to live. And I'm not opposed to trying other methods like you mentioned - have thought kind-of seriously about ibogaine... But, thanks for the reply and the…"
I'm so sorry. Your husband was so young. It is very hard to imagine life without our precious husbands. We can help each other here. I am very grateful for this site. I am free to express my feelings, because I…"
"Hi. I am new to this group. I recently lost my husband who was just 37 years old this December. It was shocking and very traumatic for me. We were together for 15 years. I am completely devasted and can't even imagine a life without him in it!…"
"Lol well that would incriminate me right into baker act won't it hahaha but seriously, I lost it. It's not a great thing if u have a life to live. Idk when I'm in trance, dreaming, or "real life", and I realize that it…"
"Jon-Paul, I love reading this. I wonder if you can share how you get into a trance state? (I realize that this is a very complicated question - but maybe the process that you went through to achieve this?) I've been practicing meditation for…"
I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in sight. I feel nothing, and for those who tell you are now free to do things; they are crazy. Why would I want to be free of my love who made all the things we did worthwhile, meaningful, and happy?
Everyone who had a love will someday lose them; it is inevitable. They will then, and only then, understand our thoughts and pain.
I do not wish it on anyone.
Elynn, I can relate to your situation as it parallels mine perfectly. First, I am sorry for our loss. I am aware there are no words that can take away the sting, the inconsolable pain of your loss. I lost my Nancy, April 29th of last year and am still and will for a long time be facing the hell of loneliness, the emptiness and the never ending longing for that person who defined you and was always there for you, your soul mate and best friend. That was Nancy. Now, I too cannot drive and have a limited social network, again, apart from this grief site. I live exclusively on social security and can barely make that last, but I do. I wake up broken and go to sleep broken, spending the day lost and wandering through my empty house, more like a tomb than a home. We are all so vulnerable to to the world we must live in and on that day I do not wake up, I hope to wake up in the arms of my true love, my beautiful Nancy. I pray the same for you and everyone who must endure this cold empty life. May God watch over you and bless you and take care of yourself...Mel
Anyone else feeling lonely and depresxed? I have trouble getting out if the house because I do not drive. My husband used to go everywhere with me. It's really lonely and depressing having to stay in the house all day (luckily my son is here daily). Too hot to go outside (here in the desert ). Wish I had something to look forward to.
My heart goes out to you. Your last comment is worrisome. I don't know what to say to help you other than pls find strength from the love of your lovely wife to keep going. Take care of yourself. Praying for comfort and peace for you and all others including myself.
Hello all. I have been relentlessly seeking. Sorry to be away so long but I am very unhealthy and don't want to spread it. There is hope for you if you truly want it. I however do not. I find peace in the agony that grows deeper each day. With much understanding comes great suffering.
Just want to say Jon-Paul I appreciate your recent posts. "I rendezvous with my Queen daily. I've never felt closer to Her". I found that absolutely beautiful. That is what I am aiming for with my love. It seems the only option to survive this nightmare. To "seek ruthlessly" - if you ever care to share what has been your journey I would be interested to hear.
Dear Jon-Paul, I just noticed your comments to others, and wanted to say thank you for creating the group Lost My Spouse. My partner died a year ago, and your group has helped me so much. There are wonderful people there, so honest in their deep suffering. Your words today have comforted me too, hearing how you are still learning more about your love, how she is with you. I feel this too, but it is hard to hold on to in my grief sometimes. So thank you for your faith. I wish you good things, Alice
I'm so sorry that you're feeling alone, angry, and guilty. I would say that you already know what to do - continue to try to heal through therapy and continue to care for and love your children. If you could…"
I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
"Does the pain ever go away. Its been two years. I still cry almost every nite. Her doctor called me a murderer when I gave him her DNR. I will always wonder would she still be with me? On her anniversary of death I got…"
My husband died 17 months ago of severe acute pancreatitis. He was perfectly well one day and the next day I had to drive him to hospital with severe gut pain.3 days later we were told there was nothing more they could do for him and we had to withdraw the life support. The enzymes of the pancreas destroys itself and the other surrounding organs. They said it was caused by drink but he only drank half a bottle of wine a night. The first few months I was 0.K. Then I crashed and had to be…See More
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties. My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief. I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
"I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on.…"
A little over 6 months ago I lost my husband of 43 years. We were only 19 & 20 when we got married so we essentially grew up together. He has been my best friend, my confidante, my love. About 5 years ago he developed COPD so we knew our time together might be limited, however many people live several years with COPD by keeping it under control. Unfortunately, last May, he developed a lung infection and was very sick, in the hospital for the first time in his 63 years. But once under…See More
depression is horrible I can't seem to get out of it I miss my bf. He didn't have a easy life he was 52 when he passed and he was getting his life together and things were going ok for him and us and now he's gone and all his dreams and what he wanted to do and us to do is gone it seems so unfair to him and us I just don't understand why this had to happen See More