"It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
"Really relate to what you say here, Kevin. t's strange how things can be comforting and painful at the same time. We never had any photographs of each other on display, but after my husband died it was one of the first things I did, getting…"
"Robin I feel the same way, I just feel a little comfort being surrounded by her pictures but I can't really look at them for too long because I just wanna go back to that time. My grief is apart of me, it's a wound that will never heal or…"
"Kevin, You are right about the dreaming. Every night I go to sleep hoping to dream of my husband; it is the only peaceful part of my day. I lay there in the dark thinking of him, but when I awake in the morning, the horror and reality of a another…"
"Almost at the 15 month mark of losing my soulmate, my heart of over 29 years. The pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it. I still cry daily, I can almost talk about my husband without crying, almost, I can look back on…"
You describe our existence so well. Our "so-called" life that began after our beloved spouse passed is one that "normal" people have no inkling about, how cruel and unforgiving it is. Most of my waking hours is one…"
"Dear S M,
I just read your profile. I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like to be in your shoes. As devastating and life altering as it was and has been for me to watch Joseph lose his battle to lung cancer, we had nine months together…"
"I entirely understand this. Lately, I'm spending so much more time sleeping, but I don't have bad dreams anymore. I have dreams that I remember, and he's usually in them. I smile when I see him...even if it is in dreams. I try…"
thanks for sharing your thoughts. I had not really ever thought of it the way you describe. At first I thought it should have been me and not him who was killed. Reason being that he was such an extraordinary person who added so much to…"
"Dear Kevin, know so much what you are talking about. Another painful aspect of grief is the tendency for people to compare and compete - I have no time for any of that. But I often was made to feel as if my grief was in someway less or less…"
It's so true what you say about choosing our spouse, life partner. The rest of our family members, as much as we love them, we didn't choose them. Your post made me feel very sad--a strange thing to say since I have been more…"
As much as I truly and dearly love my kids, there's just something very , very different about the relationship we have with our spouses whom We choose out of everyone in this world to love, honor and obey. There's a sacred bond that makes two people, one. When my beautiful wife was here and I would have bad dreams about something happening to her, I would be so very relieved to wake up and she's right beside me. Now its the Opposite. My relief is in my dreams when I sleep and my nightmare is…See More
"I hate sunny days, when I see couples holding hands and walking their dog or just outside enjoying the weather, I tear up and soon sin sink even deeper into this quicksand of depression. Rainy, stormy days match my mood better. I look forward to the…"
Nice, fun loving guy who just loves God, family and people.
About my Loss:
I lost the love of my beautiful wife to this horrible disease called cancer. We fought so long to beat it and she tried her best to stay as long as she could. It hurts my heart to have seen what this disease did to my beautiful wife, she or nobody on this earth deserves to be put through that pain. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna be able to go on from here. I feel so lost.
Kevin,I know what cancer did to my wife no should have to suffer the way she did the treatment put her in the hospital many times but the last time she could not recover it breaks my heart when I think about all she went through she came close to death many times and came back the last time we thought she'd do it again but her body was to ravaged by this horrible disease and it took her so i understand the feeling just hope where she is now knows no pain only happiness and peace.
Kevin, the first year tears you apart. It doesn't seem real in some respects. You survive(willing or not) thru the first birthdays without your soulmate...the first anniversary, the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. People may not know what to say to you, but they more or less check in periodically. After the first year is over, most people kind of forget your situation. They feel you should've moved on. Unfortunately, this is when you could use their help the most because you really come to the realization that your loved is well and truly gone and that NOTHING is as it was and life SUCKS! I have gotten to the point where I don't do anything I don't want...or see anyone I don't want to see. I know I'm stuck. I miss having my playmate, my confidant, my cheerleader, my sounding board...I'm sorry we are all in this together, but, this site helps me a lot.
"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
"Richard. I didn't know your wife nor do I know you but I'm quite sure she is mortified watching you self destruct. She would not want you to give up and hurt her by hurting yourself. She is still with you and you need to respect the love…"
Hello -My name is Karen. I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering. I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist. I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose. I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry.
Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life.
The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me.
I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different
Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way.
But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"