"I don't know how long I can deal with this new hell I've been thrown into."
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Kevin Bailey
- Male
- Reading, PA
- United States
- Blog Posts
- Discussions (41)
- Groups (2)
- Photos (4)
- Photo Albums
- Videos
Kevin Bailey's Page
Latest Activity
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
M Adams replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I really hate this new life in the group Lost My Spouse..."Really relate to what you say here, Kevin. t's strange how things can be comforting and painful at the same time. We never had any photographs of each other on display, but after my husband died it was one of the first things I did, getting…"
Kevin Bailey replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I really hate this new life in the group Lost My Spouse..."Robin I feel the same way, I just feel a little comfort being surrounded by her pictures but I can't really look at them for too long because I just wanna go back to that time. My grief is apart of me, it's a wound that will never heal or…"
Maxey replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Kevin, You are right about the dreaming. Every night I go to sleep hoping to dream of my husband; it is the only peaceful part of my day. I lay there in the dark thinking of him, but when I awake in the morning, the horror and reality of a another…"
Robin Quinn replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I really hate this new life in the group Lost My Spouse..."Almost at the 15 month mark of losing my soulmate, my heart of over 29 years. The pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it. I still cry daily, I can almost talk about my husband without crying, almost, I can look back on…"
Steinberg replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Dear Trina,
thank you for your kind words and open heart. Best wishes."
Trina Mamoon replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Hello Jerry,
You describe our existence so well. Our "so-called" life that began after our beloved spouse passed is one that "normal" people have no inkling about, how cruel and unforgiving it is. Most of my waking hours is one…"
Trina Mamoon replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Dear S M,
I just read your profile. I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like to be in your shoes. As devastating and life altering as it was and has been for me to watch Joseph lose his battle to lung cancer, we had nine months together…"
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."I entirely understand this. Lately, I'm spending so much more time sleeping, but I don't have bad dreams anymore. I have dreams that I remember, and he's usually in them. I smile when I see him...even if it is in dreams. I try…"
Steinberg replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Hello Trina,
thanks for sharing your thoughts. I had not really ever thought of it the way you describe. At first I thought it should have been me and not him who was killed. Reason being that he was such an extraordinary person who added so much to…"
Steinberg replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Dear Kevin, know so much what you are talking about. Another painful aspect of grief is the tendency for people to compare and compete - I have no time for any of that. But I often was made to feel as if my grief was in someway less or less…"
Trina Mamoon replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Choosing someone in the group Lost My Spouse..."Hello Kevin,
It's so true what you say about choosing our spouse, life partner. The rest of our family members, as much as we love them, we didn't choose them. Your post made me feel very sad--a strange thing to say since I have been more…"
Kevin Bailey added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
Choosing someone
As much as I truly and dearly love my kids, there's just something very , very different about the relationship we have with our spouses whom We choose out of everyone in this world to love, honor and obey. There's a sacred bond that makes two people, one. When my beautiful wife was here and I would have bad dreams about something happening to her, I would be so very relieved to wake up and she's right beside me. Now its the Opposite. My relief is in my dreams when I sleep and my nightmare is…See More
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I hate sunny days, when I see couples holding hands and walking their dog or just outside enjoying the weather, I tear up and soon sin sink even deeper into this quicksand of depression. Rainy, stormy days match my mood better. I look forward to the…"
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Nice, fun loving guy who just loves God, family and people.
- About my Loss:
- I lost the love of my beautiful wife to this horrible disease called cancer. We fought so long to beat it and she tried her best to stay as long as she could. It hurts my heart to have seen what this disease did to my beautiful wife, she or nobody on this earth deserves to be put through that pain. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna be able to go on from here. I feel so lost.
Kevin Bailey's Photos
Comment Wall (7 comments)
- At 3:32pm on January 28, 2017,
Michael said… - Hi Kevin
Saw your name come up and thought i'd say hi. Hope you are having a decent day (ive had maybe 2 so far). See you in person one day i hope. Take care pal.
- At 1:08pm on January 28, 2017, Carl accomando said…
- Kevin,I know what cancer did to my wife no should have to suffer the way she did the treatment put her in the hospital many times but the last time she could not recover it breaks my heart when I think about all she went through she came close to death many times and came back the last time we thought she'd do it again but her body was to ravaged by this horrible disease and it took her so i understand the feeling just hope where she is now knows no pain only happiness and peace.
- At 2:06pm on January 04, 2017, emma gave Kevin Bailey a gift…
- At 10:26pm on December 15, 2016,
Pamela philipp said… - Kevin so sorry for your loss I lost my husband 15 months ago and it feels like yesterday and Michael you are right it's the hardest thing to ever have to deal with
- At 3:33pm on November 22, 2016, Fran said…
Kevin, the first year tears you apart. It doesn't seem real in some respects. You survive(willing or not) thru the first birthdays without your soulmate...the first anniversary, the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. People may not know what to say to you, but they more or less check in periodically. After the first year is over, most people kind of forget your situation. They feel you should've moved on. Unfortunately, this is when you could use their help the most because you really come to the realization that your loved is well and truly gone and that NOTHING is as it was and life SUCKS! I have gotten to the point where I don't do anything I don't want...or see anyone I don't want to see. I know I'm stuck. I miss having my playmate, my confidant, my cheerleader, my sounding board...I'm sorry we are all in this together, but, this site helps me a lot.
- At 2:33pm on November 16, 2016, Michael said…
- Kevin
So sorry for your loss. Your wife was beautiful. Im 30 days in, and it is the toughest thing i've ever had to deal with.
- At 9:06am on November 16, 2016, Julie said…
- I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my soul mate on Oct. 10, 2016 and I am lost without him. I will pray for you and your family.
Groups
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I miss my Mom!
688 members
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Lost My Spouse...
311 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
16 members
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Losing Someone to Drug O…
62 members
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daddy
1 member
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Grief Counseling
116 members
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Has your faith been test…
35 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
577 members
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
925 members
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Multiple Losses Group
275 members
Latest Activity
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
Nancy replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FINALLY LOSING IT"Richard. I didn't know your wife nor do I know you but I'm quite sure she is mortified watching you self destruct. She would not want you to give up and hurt her by hurting yourself. She is still with you and you need to respect the love…"
Karen Wilson posted a blog postLost my Son -only child in March of this year
Hello -My name is Karen. I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering. I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist. I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose. I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Really rough morning. I pray for some relief. This is not what my Mom would have wanted for me.
Bluebell"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry.
Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life.
The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Love is an amazing thing. There are times when I think that my mom has all the love that I have to offer, but there is always room for one more person. Even hundreds more.
people. "
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"My heart is also with each one of you.
Hugs and love to you all
Bluebell"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me.
I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different
Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way.
But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Bluebird,
I always say we too. It is not just I because he lives in Heaven."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Jackie Cook
It's been 4 years since I lost my Husband, it will always be us not me. "
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."John T.
I am surprised that I am still alive after losing my Husband 4 Years ago, I just go day to day hoping one day won't wake up."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Jennifer,
Don't feel bad about not standing happy couples and family, It has been 4 years and I still feel that way. I just can't get over losing my kind, wonderful, Husband."
© 2017 Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.
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