Nicole
  • Female
  • Fresno, CA
  • United States
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Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
Oct 19
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
Oct 18
Nicole replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you so much I would like to be able to Express myself and talk to somone who can relate thank you for your reply. "
Sep 28
Linda Engberg replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nicole, I would have to say after 5 years that the pain is easier to deal with. "
Sep 27
Elynn m replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be…"
Sep 26
Monty replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you and your family must be going though. its absolutely fantastic that your doing as well as you are for your children every one will have different triggers for the painful memories and emotions that you…"
Sep 26
Jim Horvath left a comment for Nicole
"I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write…"
Sep 26
Nicole added 2 discussions to the group Lost My Spouse...
Sep 26
Nicole joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Sep 26
Nicole updated their profile
Sep 26
Nicole is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 26

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm 27 years old I have two children my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 3 .
About my Loss:
I lost my husband the father of my children. We were high school sweethearts I was with him 4 years two years in high school and two after we both graduated, he asked me to marry after he got out of bootcamp he became a marine we got married in 2011 so we were married for 8 years. 2018 I lost my best friend my first everything and it hurt so much. Feb 13th 2018 I lost my best friend he went to sleep and never woke up. I found out later he had an enlarged heart and sleep apnea. I never felt so much pain and the pain still feels the same I know it will never get better when he dies he took the best parts of me and half of my heart with him. I never got to grieve right becuase I had my children who needed me and every day I wake up it's for them I'm still breathing for them and my husband and I'll keep breathing until my heart gives out .

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 5:52pm on September 26, 2018, Jim Horvath said…

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write something down that was positive.  It doesn't fix anything or make the loss and heartache go away, but my hope is that someday I (and you) will adjust to this new life we have without our best friend and love.  

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
9 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
10 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
10 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
11 hours ago
morgan and joe kelly are now friends
17 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
20 hours ago
Profile IconCilvia and Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
yesterday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
Saturday
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So I have been really busy at work and with moving, but of course at night when I get in bed I cry and cry. I finally have come to realize this will be the new normal I guess, I do not think I will every stop missing my mom ever..."
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"Pamela Cancer is indeed a plague. Death from cancer is only part of the story. The journey from diagnosis to death is horrific and overwhelming. Even though cancer effects a lot of people, there are so many that just don't understand how…"
Friday
Profile IconClaire Bartlett and Amy joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday

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