Nicole
  • Female
  • Fresno, CA
  • United States
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Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
Oct 19, 2018
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
Oct 18, 2018
Nicole replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you so much I would like to be able to Express myself and talk to somone who can relate thank you for your reply. "
Sep 28, 2018
Linda Engberg replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nicole, I would have to say after 5 years that the pain is easier to deal with. "
Sep 27, 2018
Elynn m replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be…"
Sep 26, 2018
Monty replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you and your family must be going though. its absolutely fantastic that your doing as well as you are for your children every one will have different triggers for the painful memories and emotions that you…"
Sep 26, 2018
Jim Horvath left a comment for Nicole
"I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write…"
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole added 2 discussions to the group Lost My Spouse...
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole updated their profile
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 26, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm 27 years old I have two children my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 3 .
About my Loss:
I lost my husband the father of my children. We were high school sweethearts I was with him 4 years two years in high school and two after we both graduated, he asked me to marry after he got out of bootcamp he became a marine we got married in 2011 so we were married for 8 years. 2018 I lost my best friend my first everything and it hurt so much. Feb 13th 2018 I lost my best friend he went to sleep and never woke up. I found out later he had an enlarged heart and sleep apnea. I never felt so much pain and the pain still feels the same I know it will never get better when he dies he took the best parts of me and half of my heart with him. I never got to grieve right becuase I had my children who needed me and every day I wake up it's for them I'm still breathing for them and my husband and I'll keep breathing until my heart gives out .

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 5:52pm on September 26, 2018, Jim Horvath said…

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write something down that was positive.  It doesn't fix anything or make the loss and heartache go away, but my hope is that someday I (and you) will adjust to this new life we have without our best friend and love.  

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friends, As all of you have stated, I too fake my happiness. I laugh on the outside and am crying for him on the inside. I ache so bad that my Julian is not in my life. I just don't understand why God won't take me. Until he does, I…"
3 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan.  I wish I had answers but I am in the very same place.  Lost, fake and hollow.  I feel worse than I did a year ago I think because I thought I would feel better and don't. Empty and apathetic.  I'm tired all the…"
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I don't know why this has happened to us, our soulmates being torn from us, but it fucking sucks. Have you considered not acting happy and normal, since that isn't how you feel? Especially if acting that way isn't helping…"
11 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Please somebody, tell me how I can continue to do this.  I am so depressed.  I get up every day and pretend.  It's what is making me so depressed.  It looks like I am functioning so normally.  Now that I have learned…"
11 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
Saturday
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
Saturday
Danny updated their profile
Saturday
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
Saturday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
Saturday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am so happy for you & your family.  I am glad your daughter had a great birthday!  That first birthday is always special.  Take care, "
Friday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
Friday
Stephanie Berndt is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 12
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom
"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
Aug 10
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa D. the line is "Mama  don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..." Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
Aug 9
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
Aug 9

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