Nicole
  • Female
  • Fresno, CA
  • United States
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Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
Oct 19, 2018
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
Oct 18, 2018
Nicole replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you so much I would like to be able to Express myself and talk to somone who can relate thank you for your reply. "
Sep 28, 2018
Linda Engberg replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nicole, I would have to say after 5 years that the pain is easier to deal with. "
Sep 27, 2018
Elynn m replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be…"
Sep 26, 2018
Monty replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you and your family must be going though. its absolutely fantastic that your doing as well as you are for your children every one will have different triggers for the painful memories and emotions that you…"
Sep 26, 2018
Jim Horvath left a comment for Nicole
"I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write…"
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole added 2 discussions to the group Lost My Spouse...
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole updated their profile
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 26, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm 27 years old I have two children my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 3 .
About my Loss:
I lost my husband the father of my children. We were high school sweethearts I was with him 4 years two years in high school and two after we both graduated, he asked me to marry after he got out of bootcamp he became a marine we got married in 2011 so we were married for 8 years. 2018 I lost my best friend my first everything and it hurt so much. Feb 13th 2018 I lost my best friend he went to sleep and never woke up. I found out later he had an enlarged heart and sleep apnea. I never felt so much pain and the pain still feels the same I know it will never get better when he dies he took the best parts of me and half of my heart with him. I never got to grieve right becuase I had my children who needed me and every day I wake up it's for them I'm still breathing for them and my husband and I'll keep breathing until my heart gives out .

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 5:52pm on September 26, 2018, Jim Horvath said…

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write something down that was positive.  It doesn't fix anything or make the loss and heartache go away, but my hope is that someday I (and you) will adjust to this new life we have without our best friend and love.  

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
yesterday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Saturday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

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