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Lost My Spouse...

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Latest Activity: Jan 13

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Lost my wife 16 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Ellis Gee Dec 28, 2019.

My Love

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West Dec 28, 2019.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

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Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 2:12pm
I can agree with you john I'm having quite a bit of problem with the anger myself it really gets hard to contain sometimes like you I'm trying not to offend anyone but I don't have that much of a support system anyway I'm basically alone I can't seem to figure out how to cope with this I think I'm doing okay then I get mail from Mary but then again this whole house is Mary they say day today and I start to wonder about that too I don't feel it's getting any easier it just seems to be getting darker and darker I just don't know what to think of that
Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 1:51pm
Hi Sandy – I'm sorry that your loss has brought you to this point but – For what it's worth, on here you'll see you're not the only person going through this hell. I still am very much alone but – sometimes this site helps distract me from my pain for a short amount of time and provides a place for me to vent where other people will understand how I am feeling.
Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 1:43pm
Tildyc I feel the same way I can hardly do anything I get tired of people saying you have to snap out of it I just want to yell come and live in my world for a while
Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 1:36pm
John T- How horribly insensitive of your family and how unbelievable it must've been for you when you realized they were trying to "set you up?!" Of course – they are only trying to help but, it just solidifies my belief that we are no longer part of that world. The normal healthy happy people world. And from where I'm at right now, I personally can't imagine myself ever fully functioning in that world again. Outside of work – I stay in seclusion and avoid people as much as possible. The thought of being with anybody else is so foreign and so unfathomable to me- I'm unable to form even a thought about something like that. I just can't.
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 9:12am

I'm new on here. My wonderful husband of 13 years passed away on Janurary 8, 2015. I don't know if there are words that express how I feel. Lost, scared, lonely, angry! Those really don't do this pain justice. He had been sick for a long time but that doesn't make this any easier. I'm glad that he is no longer suffering but I miss him so much. Ours was a very special kind of love. We knew the moment that we met that we were ment to be together.

Comment by George H on March 29, 2015 at 11:32pm
M Morgan I can totally understand how you feel my wife passed February 24th I had no friends outside the house cuz I was her caregiver 24 7 there's not a day that goes by when I wonder how long before it's my turn like you I don't think it would be by my own hand but I don't think that it would matter how quick it comes the loneliness an and emptiness is getting really hard to handle
Comment by morgan on March 29, 2015 at 11:13pm

I will never be with anyone else and I am doing what I can to diminish my health.  Two years, two months later and my breakdowns are coming back in spades.  They had receded to only one a day but now just about anything will trigger them.   I am looking at what it is going to take to get up every day and live my life without the one person who made it worth living.  I knew it before but now after distracting myself with work I realize the shock was what kept me from seeing what I face.  The crying is more than despair now.  It is a volatile response to my life.  Before it was more focused as a response to his death.  Now it's like the big guns have come out.

I have not wanted to be here on earth since the day my husband died but now I am more determined than ever to grieve so hard that physically I die of my broken heart.  I won't do it by my own hand in a harmful way ( i don't think) but I am going to do everything possible to hasten the inevitable.  If todays breakdowns are an example of how grief is taking its toll my physical self is bound to follow.  

As I said to the policeman who came to check on me in the store parking lot where I was crying so hard they had to help me out to my car and then must have called the police: I said"No one understands the utter loneliness of what death delivers",  particularly when you had a very deep passionate relationship.  Some people recover but there are those of us who will never see any happiness ever again. They were worried I might not be able to drive or I was going to harm myself.  I almost had to laugh since they have no idea how often I go through this.  They see it once and think I am about to go over the edge.  If they only knew…….. 

Comment by Tildyc on March 29, 2015 at 5:41pm
Having yet another terrible day. I've been thinking about the future and how completely empty it looks to me. Now that Mark won't be in it at all. Ever. I really don't look forward to anything at all. Except for the day that I get to go to him and see him again.
Comment by George H on March 27, 2015 at 8:46am
I want to thank everyone who commented on my post I would like to write you all individually but I have severe vision problems so I talk into this phone and I hope it prints out what I say once again thank you all I appreciate the support cuz im pretty much by myself here 24 7 never felt this type of loneliness
Comment by Ally M on March 27, 2015 at 12:30am

I just wanted to say thank you for the responses to my earlier comments, or that have commented in the group recently.  Sometimes it just helps to read things, and know that I share your many of your thoughts and feelings- thank you all.

 

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M Adams commented on Miriam Holmes's blog post Healing Repetition
"Miriam, thanks for what you’ve said here, think it will be helpful to many other people here and I hope writing it down will help you as well.  What you say about the way you miss your uncle, the loss of rituals and of his expressions of…"
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Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

Healing Repetition

An uncle in our family committed suicide.  For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen.  We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again.  And after five years she was done and could move on.  I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
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Katherine A Pericas Geersten commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.  I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Katherine A Pericas Geersten posted a discussion

Hello, a little bit about me.

Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
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Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain.  A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out.  I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
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Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Hi, I'm brand new, too.  I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to.  Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us.  Whatever your loss, I…"
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Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

The Little Things

This morning there was a crescent moon.  I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon."  I got all choked up seeing it.  Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart.  He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards.  But no more.  More tears to fight back.  Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there.  I have never had anyone else do that for me.  I knew…See More
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
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