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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Karen T. on February 5, 2015 at 5:15pm

Hi Leesa,

I understand how you feel. My husband died in the bed and I couldn't sleep in there forever, but it did help my transition to wrap up in his favorite blanket for comfort. But it still is my first response when something happens in my life- my first thought is I can;t wait to tell me husband or he is not going to believe this when I tell him when I get home and then I have to stop myself and realize that's not going to happen and he won't be there to tell. I do still walk through the apartment and talk about it like he is there listening and it does seem to help, giving that feeling that I have told him and he does know. I hope this helps, but it just feels like a lot of rambling. I am sorry for your loss and hope you can find at least a moment of comfort. You have definately found the right website for that.

Comment by Leesa Lynch on February 5, 2015 at 11:10am

well I have paid off the house no enjoyment there bc I used the life insurence to paid it off I aslo have been busy painting trying my best to change the way the inside looks it hard my soul mate passed away in the living room if  I dont have company I cant stay in the living room yet boy I miss him I find myself picking up the phone to call him yet I know he wont pick up 

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 9:50am

Yeah, I am totally having one of those days. I can manage to write/type a few words for worl and then I have to pause to hold my head. I just don't know what to do. I hate being alone in this world (son not included- speaking about having a partner). I just can't focus and as selfish as it sounds (because he did have some medical problems which he soesn't suffer anymore in Heaven) I just want my husband badk I want to get wrapped up in his arems and know that no matter what is going on, everything is going to be fine because we have each other. Now I am just lost. All I can do today i put my head in my hands and think about him and how much I miss him and how much better this world would be if we were back together again.

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 8:36am

I just don't know how to go on. I fake it for the sake of my son and those around me but in the end I feel like everytime I put on make up I am putting on a mask. I just feel like I'm either dead or dying inside. I haven' even been able to go to church because it's a rather small church so everyone knows us and I just can't stand being among all those people who know what happened and just look at me with sympathy for the 32 year old widow and her son. Being among a crowd of strangers (such as shopping) is easier to deal with. Then there is the importance of comforting my son and helping him through it so by the end if the day I am just so exhausted I'm ready for bed by like 6. Everything is just so hard- I just don't know how I'm going to keep going to come out the other side- I just move one day (sometimes 1 second or 1 minute) at a time and just pray I'll get through soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm even ready for some personal human interaction but then quickly snap back to readlity that I am to much of a mess on the inside to put another person through that. I do thank everyone on here for allowing me an outlet to speak my mind and feelings without repercussions or judgements- it truly does help. Thank you all.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 2, 2015 at 6:53pm

Oh Karen, I know... You'll never feel that again in this life, but the important thing to remember is that you had it... not many ever attain it. There will be a day with no pain or tears. It may seem like it's taking forever but it will be soon. Just think about how fast the past few years has gone by... We just have to endure and hold on a little longer...

Comment by Karen T. on February 2, 2015 at 6:46pm

Life sucks.

Comment by Karen T. on February 1, 2015 at 11:22am

I so miss being in my husbands arms and kissing him, I just don't know what to do or what can help. All I want is that comfort back of being wrapped up in his arms and love. I hate feeling alone and being separated from my one true love and bestfriend.

Comment by Karen T. on January 31, 2015 at 6:23pm
I feel so alone right now. My son is stayong with his grandmother and I am just here, in bed, missing my husband. I don't know how to deal. I am a widow at 32 years old and my husband past at only 33. Everything I do just seems to be so exhausting. Life, my whole world, just seems to be me being lost and alone in this world. It is also so exhausting trying to keep up appearences for my son and other people. It's been almost 4 months and I am still just tkaing it day by day and sometimes even just ninute by minute. I just don't feel right and complete anymore and I am afraid that I never will find that special connection with someone ever again. So I am left to float through this world useless and alone.
Comment by Karen T. on January 31, 2015 at 6:23pm
I feel so alone right now. My son is stayong with his grandmother and I am just here, in bed, missing my husband. I don't know how to deal. I am a widow at 32 years old and my husband past at only 33. Everything I do just seems to be so exhausting. Life, my whole world, just seems to be me being lost and alone in this world. It is also so exhausting trying to keep up appearences for my son and other people. It's been almost 4 months and I am still just tkaing it day by day and sometimes even just ninute by minute. I just don't feel right and complete anymore and I am afraid that I never will find that special connection with someone ever again. So I am left to float through this world useless and alone.
Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on January 29, 2015 at 6:24pm

Yes, just have to hold on... even on the days when you don't want to wake up and the nights when you want to choose your own fate... hold on. It'll be worth it.

 

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Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
Sunday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Saturday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

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