Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Karen T. on February 21, 2015 at 4:16pm

I wish I could feel my passed husband as you described being able to feel your wife. I just fell like when I want to sry ( which is a lot of course) I don't have my safe place anymore....I always rom day 1 told him that my favorite and most safe feeling place in the world was his arms. No matter where we were, his arms always made eveything wrong go away and it's like time just stood still and I was in that place and moment forever. Now my safe place is gone and I am lost. I admit I do look at other men, hoping or other possibilities for the future but honestly I don't even know what I would do if I did find someone. So easy to look from a distance but to start things up that's completely differet (expecially when you are  not use to dating/goingout in the first place. My husband was the second man I ever dated- the first lasted just under 2 months and this was in college so I was almost 18years old when I went on my first date. I know I haven't had a "normal" relationship life so any advice on expectations would be greatly appreciated. :)

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 21, 2015 at 3:08pm

I miss more than anything putting my nose beneath hers and breathing in her breath as she exhales... and her laugh... my good GOD, how I miss her laugh...

Comment by Karen T. on February 21, 2015 at 2:02pm

I justish had him to hold me. That's what I want almost more than anything, to be held.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 21, 2015 at 11:44am

The pain is consuming. It's overwhelming. My kids aren't enough for me to want to remain. I want to be where she is. Then it hit me, actually the night before last, that I am where she is. I feel her, I hear her, I know she's within me just as much now as when she was in the flesh. The grief, the pain, the withdraws are due to the absence of her perfectly beautiful body; her perfect face, her radiant eyes and smile, her soothing voice... But I'll be home soon with her and our Father... it may be a week, it may be a decade, but it'll come soon. Hopefully sooner than later. But we have to make them proud. Stay strong Marijka, Ashley, Karen, and Leesa....

Comment by Marijka on February 21, 2015 at 4:25am
My babe, my fiancé, my partner, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything died suddenly 5 months ago...yet it only feels like yesterday. My heart and soul are broken. He was only 42 and even though he was 10 years older than me, we had the best relationship. We had known each other for 15 years and had been together 11 years and life was life is a struggle, I don't want to live it without him, I jus want him back. We were meant to get married this year and have more babies. The only reason I haven't joined him is our beautiful 9year old daughter, who has been an amazing strength for me...but I feel so much pain for her, I lost my soul mate but she lost her dad, who she had the most beautiful, wonderful relationship with, he was the best dad and just worshiped the ground she walked on.
I have no one that understands what I'm going through, I feel like I'm expected to get on with things, just move on...but how am I suppose to do that, all my future plans were with him...everything. Even though I have people around me, I feel so alone and lonely, I miss him so much.
Comment by Ashlee on February 20, 2015 at 12:09pm

My beautiful husband of almost 11 years passed away suddenly 4 weeks ago.  He was only 35.  Through all of the sadness and heartbreak, the hardest part for me so far besides losing my best friend, and soul mate, is knowing that my kids are feeling so much pain.

Comment by Karen T. on February 5, 2015 at 5:15pm

Hi Leesa,

I understand how you feel. My husband died in the bed and I couldn't sleep in there forever, but it did help my transition to wrap up in his favorite blanket for comfort. But it still is my first response when something happens in my life- my first thought is I can;t wait to tell me husband or he is not going to believe this when I tell him when I get home and then I have to stop myself and realize that's not going to happen and he won't be there to tell. I do still walk through the apartment and talk about it like he is there listening and it does seem to help, giving that feeling that I have told him and he does know. I hope this helps, but it just feels like a lot of rambling. I am sorry for your loss and hope you can find at least a moment of comfort. You have definately found the right website for that.

Comment by Leesa Lynch on February 5, 2015 at 11:10am

well I have paid off the house no enjoyment there bc I used the life insurence to paid it off I aslo have been busy painting trying my best to change the way the inside looks it hard my soul mate passed away in the living room if  I dont have company I cant stay in the living room yet boy I miss him I find myself picking up the phone to call him yet I know he wont pick up 

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 9:50am

Yeah, I am totally having one of those days. I can manage to write/type a few words for worl and then I have to pause to hold my head. I just don't know what to do. I hate being alone in this world (son not included- speaking about having a partner). I just can't focus and as selfish as it sounds (because he did have some medical problems which he soesn't suffer anymore in Heaven) I just want my husband badk I want to get wrapped up in his arems and know that no matter what is going on, everything is going to be fine because we have each other. Now I am just lost. All I can do today i put my head in my hands and think about him and how much I miss him and how much better this world would be if we were back together again.

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 8:36am

I just don't know how to go on. I fake it for the sake of my son and those around me but in the end I feel like everytime I put on make up I am putting on a mask. I just feel like I'm either dead or dying inside. I haven' even been able to go to church because it's a rather small church so everyone knows us and I just can't stand being among all those people who know what happened and just look at me with sympathy for the 32 year old widow and her son. Being among a crowd of strangers (such as shopping) is easier to deal with. Then there is the importance of comforting my son and helping him through it so by the end if the day I am just so exhausted I'm ready for bed by like 6. Everything is just so hard- I just don't know how I'm going to keep going to come out the other side- I just move one day (sometimes 1 second or 1 minute) at a time and just pray I'll get through soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm even ready for some personal human interaction but then quickly snap back to readlity that I am to much of a mess on the inside to put another person through that. I do thank everyone on here for allowing me an outlet to speak my mind and feelings without repercussions or judgements- it truly does help. Thank you all.


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MarieSte updated their profile
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ALEXIS is now friends with Brenda Ann and Michael Thompson
Karolien joined Karen's group

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Karolien updated their profile
Lynn Williams commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thinking of everyone here with love"
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been so long since I've been here. Somehow I don't get notifications anymore. And from November til after y sin' birthday March 31 I just want to run away and disengage with the world. But I think of you all and send you…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I envy people also Brett that have a loving support system to help them through what we are going through. God is love and he wants us to be compassionate and kind, and he will always be by our side. I believe that"
Holly Baldwin joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Holly Baldwin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
joe kelly replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Dear Jade, I wish I had some advice for you because when I sign in, I notice that you often sign in I guess to check if anything new has been posted.  Being lonely after losing your Love after so many years together is a major part of all who…"
Dennis C. and Virginia G are now friends
Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"

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