George H
  • Male
  • Lowell, AR
  • United States

George H's Friends

  • John T.
  • Sandy Elaine Norris
  • Valerie
  • Steve Suehiro
  • Alexandra Raphaela

George H's Groups

Gifts Received


George H has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift


George H's Page

Profile Information

About my Loss:
my wife Mary died February 24th this year I was her caregiver for the last 7 years now that she's gone I have no support system it was just her and I threw everything and I'm really having a hard time with the loneliness and the emptiness I feelI've lost the will to do anything I just sit in my chair and feel like I'm just waiting for my turn

George H's Photos

  • Add Photos
  • View All

George H's Blog


Mary Haines was a wife a mother and a grandmother Mary was a painter a woodworker a singer mary has five children four girls and a boy she was everything to me we’ve been together for 37 years from what I can figure we only spent 25 days apart we work together we did everything together it’s going to be really hard to finish my life without her I miss her so much and I’ll love her forever

Posted on March 26, 2015 at 7:02am

Comment Wall (9 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 8:17am on May 29, 2015, Richard G said…

George, grief comes in waves which makes it seem like were doing better than all of the sudden it gets worse. At 14 weeks your still early in the grief cycle. Unfortunately I am all too familiar with grief having lost two spouses to cancer. It's only been about six weeks since I lost Cherie. I haven't really had any detachment from the pain yet. I could use a week of detachment from the pain. I was married to my first wife for 32 years and when she died I thought my life was over. But as time passes the pain lessens and life goes on. 

I'm writing these words as much for me as for you. The pain is so great some days I feel that my life is over and I'm just waiting to die. I have to remind myself that I survived before and I can survive again. I remind myself that I have to keep my promise to Cherie to watch over the kids and grandkids. You will get some relief when this wave of grief passes. I hope we can both find a way to move forward with our lives. 

At 10:56am on May 2, 2015, Valerie said…


Just checking in to see how today is going? The weekends are always so tough for me. Me and Mike would do whatever we felt like on the weekends. We would watch a movie, go for a drive or just spend time together. Now, it is just me and my Mom. My Mom is 78 and not in great health so I do have to take care of her.

Sometimes it is difficult because I can barely take care of myself. I too, play the scenarios in my mind over and over...what if I had chosen a different hospital or different nursing home. What if I had gotten more involved at the rehab. He was supposed to come home to me in about 5 weeks once he was in rehab. His kidneys failed, we think because of a mix of medication he was on.

I had promised him that we would go see his Son in Indiana when he got out.

He was depressed that he had to spend Christmas in the rehab so I promised him that this Christmas would be the best Christmas ever and that we would not put off any of our dreams anymore.

I did get to tell him how much I loved him. I told him he was the best thing that every happened to me. And, that I loved him more than life itself. When I made all of these promises of what we were going to do once he was out, he said, You promise? And, I said, yes I promise.

Now I cannot keep any of those promises. My husband is gone at 45 years old, he had so much life left to live. I'll never understand the meaning of all of this. Here I am at 49 years old, settled into a happy life. We had no children together so it is just me and my mom. The weekends are lonely and the work days are long.

I just miss my best friend. We were all we had. I will love him forever....

Hope you are doing okay today. Just wanted to say hello.


At 5:55pm on April 16, 2015, Rj said…
George, i lost my only child, he was 27, he died by suicide, 2/1/15. I felt like you about the group sessions, took me awhile to even think about going but one rainy night i decided to go at the last minute. It has helped much more than my one on one counseling. I truly thought I was the only one who could be suffering so, why go and get more depressed. It really is helping me....i see others who are true survivors, others who actually get this pain that we all share in one form or another. No matter who or how, our pain is the same. Inhope you will consider it with an open mind. There is no pressure to talk, no judging, just support. God bless...
At 7:21am on April 3, 2015, Roger said…
Hey Gegr
I had hospice counseling too. I don't remember exactly what I was told. It seems like you have so many vists one a week. She also ask me to call her when I wanted her to come back. The lady I had was good. I though she would ask me to just talk about how I felt the first visit. No! She did most of the talking. Stuuf I really hadn't even though about. Like what I had planned for the rest of my life was forever changed now. That everybody grives on their on time frame. But thst I had better try and get a hold of my grief or grief would get a hold on me. Gave me a couple of examples. I though she did really know her stuff. Her husband had died at like 30. Leaving her with a small child to raise.
At 8:07pm on March 30, 2015, Roger said…

Hey George,

I know how guilt will eat at you. There are things about both my Mom and wife that I wish I had done different. Would any of it have saved their life. No, My wife had stage IV cancer. My mom was 84 with final stage COPD. Both were gravely ill. From what you have said about you wife's dialysis not working, how long she had been ill. I bet she was the same.  I as you, would have done anything to help them. They were my life. I loved each of them more than anything. I would give anything if they hadn't of died. My life is seems so useless with out them. I did the best I could at the time. I only had their best interest in mind. I know it's only natural when you loved someone as much as you and I loved them. To look back and play it all over and over in our minds. See things that we wish we could have done different. It is just something we have to live with because we loved them so much. You are not alone in your thoughts. I assure you. I pray God will comfort you.   

At 11:07am on March 30, 2015, Sandy Elaine Norris said…

Thank you George. It helps just to feel like I'm not by myself. My family loves me. I know they do, but they just don't understand how I'm feeling. On top of losing the love of my life, 3 weeks after he passed I moved in with my terminally ill dad and now I am taking care of him until he passes. I just feel overwhelmed. Thank you for being someone that I can talk to.

At 6:31pm on March 29, 2015, Valerie said…


Reach out to me anytime you need. We can at the very least share in our pain. I'm sorry you are not able to get out, but please know that if you want to talk or express how you are feeling. I check my e-mail at least once a day. This journey is tough. And I know you must miss your best friend more than words could express. Please know you are not alone. I'm sorry about your vision problems. I'm going to pray for you. Big Cyber Hugs!

Thinking of you.

At 10:39am on March 29, 2015, Valerie said…

Hi George,

I'm so sorry for you loss your beautiful Mary. I do understand the loss and empty feeling. Do you have any support around you? You need people right now. This group is at the very least where you can come and express yourself. The People here definitely care and know how you are feeling. I myself lost my husband on 1/31. He was my everything too. I find that the weekends are the very lonely.

Even if we did nothing we were together. We would go for a drive, watch a movie, clean the house together, just anything made us happy. It sounds like you have been a caregiver for a long time. I bet Mary really appreciated how much love and care you showed for her. You were going probably non-stop for seven years, now all you have is time to think probably.

I bet she is watching down on you from heaven. I do believe you will see her again when your time comes. I'm not sure what God's plans are for us now...One thing that helps me, and not all of the time, is to take walks. Cry when  you need to cry, scream when you need to scream, let the emotions off your chest. My husband's stuff is still sitting exactly where it was too. I am going to a counselor. You may want to check for local grieve groups in your area. They sometimes have them at churches in your area.

If you get nothing else out of it, you might me a friend or two to have lunch with or go to a movie or enjoy any activity you might have before you lost your sweetheart.

I am thinking of you and care. I will pray for you, George.
And, hope you find some peace today and the days ahead.


At 2:50pm on March 27, 2015, Tildyc said…
I'm sorry George. This loneliness can be debilitating. Today is my day off and all I do anymore is sit in my chair with the TV on and spend most the day crying. My days off used to be so wonderful. Mark and I would always have plans of some kind. Even if it was simple as watching a movie at home are going to dinner his friends. But those days are gone forever. So – here I sit dreading the years to come. Perhaps some day my circumstances may change. But I certainly can't envision that from this point in my life. So in the meantime, l mourn and I hurt. And I come to this site which is of some comfort. Here- at least we know that we are not alone in our suffering. My words are probably not much help George but, I do want let you know that I understand and I feel your pain.


Latest Activity

Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal.  I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong.  I can't prove my OBE either.  All I can do is share it.  Your original post…"
51 minutes ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
14 hours ago
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
14 hours ago
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
15 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
15 hours ago
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
17 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
17 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
18 hours ago
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
18 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
19 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, Time to go to cemetery but will reply later today."
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, I wish I had your faith/assurance that there is an afterlife in which we will be reunited with our loves. I so hope that you are right about that. I think it would make this a tiny bit easier for me if I knew beyond any doubt that my husband…"
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I read and log on and many times I just freeze up.  It's over two years and I should be with her already and though I don't think it will be too much longer, every minute of every waking and sometimes sleeping moment is a…"
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Sorry to see your stories here...  There is nothing worse.   I will be at 4 years in June.  After a while at least for me, the acute pain just became dull pain.  I have heard that grief is love turned inside out.  No…"
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you bluebird for always encapsulating the horror movie we live in in a way that is gentle but firm.  I can only nod my head in agreement with each of the points you made because I am so exhausted by trying to explain this widowing to…"
bluebird and Martee are now friends
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me. That…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch. That's what I…"

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service