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Lost My Spouse...

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Lost my wife 16 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Ellis Gee Dec 28, 2019.

My Love

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West Dec 28, 2019.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on November 30, 2019 at 2:58pm

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 28, 2019 at 8:44am

Today is the 2nd for me.  Last year I stayed home alone because my Love was always so involved with it every year at my daughters house.  Two years ago, we spent it alone together in the hospital.  Again, Catch 22 because whether I'm there or not, they will feel Her missing.  I don't know how my being there will affect everyone else.  It's not just my family but the extended family and I am afraid, but I said I would be there after the cemetery and I have no idea how I'll get through it but just have this feeling that my Love wants me to go.  I won't be staying very long and asked to eat at the children's table.  The only thing I'm really thankful for is the wonderful life my Love gave me.  Yes, I have great children and grands but it's just not the same.

Tuesday is our 50th wedding anniversary.  It would had been so wonderful celebrating it but I know it will be more painful day without Her here.  As I pray each night be my last, I hope so much this be the last holiday season I'm here.  That soon I will be dancing with my Love in Her realm.

I wish Peace for you all today, even though for many of us it won't be.

Joe

Comment by Fran on November 28, 2019 at 7:32am

Linda we share your pain here. It's been 5 years for me. I find myself increasingly pulling back, esp. at Holidays. I just wish family understood better that it's hard for us to celebrate anything. I don't wish this apathy on anyone. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 28, 2019 at 6:36am

Today is the 7th year of not sharing Thanksgiving with my Husband. I will be spending it alone from now on. It is to hard to bear seeing everyone happy and I am tired of faking it.

Comment by morgan on November 16, 2019 at 5:40am

Linda,

Your post is a perfect description of where I'm at.

Morgan

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 15, 2019 at 6:12am

Comment by Trina Mamoon on November 14, 2019 at 10:54pm

morgan,

Your message is so moving! Every word you say rings so true! I could have written the message. You express my innermost thoughts and wishes. It's been a little over five years for me since Joseph has been gone, but I feel his lack as deeply as I did when I first lost him.

I, too, keep myself busy. but it doesn't do much to alleviate the pain, the void that I feel because I have lost the love of my life. I just wait for my natural end. I am afraid that it could be a while since I just turned 59, and my mother and aunts all lived into their eighties. This thought is so frightening and depressing! But I will wait for my natural end. It will come someday, but not soon enough. What a way to live one's life, waiting for the end. But without Joseph with me, my life is meaningless.

My empathy to you morgan, and to Linda, Joe, and Monty, and all others here who are in the same boat as we are. Let us be granted peace.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:11pm

I still can't see pics here so don't know if it posted.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:10pm

Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot. We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves. You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us. Keep sharing here.  It helps that we know that we're not alone.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 2:00pm

I'm still a mess too Morgan and it just keeps getting worse.  Nothing but going to her will ever help me not be in agony every second of every day.  That being said, it has to happen naturally which really sucks because we don't know when.  It will happen someday though and to spend eternity with her, I'll suffer for as long as it takes.  It's only 4 days away from when she vomited and 6 days away from when she was in the hospital and 64 days till she passed, two years ago.  December 3rd would had been our 50th wedding anniversary and was planning such a great vacation to celebrate it a year before she got sick.  I'm dreading that day, as I am dreading the holidays coming up.  I spend 2 to 3 hour every day at the cemetery.  It'll be all day on Dec. 3rd.  I have such hopes that I die on that day.  What a gift to her that would make.  But I don't think I'm that lucky so not counting on it.  I'm in my 70th year now, not in good health, so it can't be that far off.  Just have to suffer and wait till this damned body of mine gives up.  That's my only "till then".  Joe

 

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Shirelle posted a status
"My son died November 25 at 936 am and I have. Cried everyday I honestly don't know what to do I can't function at all what do I do?"
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Profile IconKatherine A Pericas Geersten, nikita and Katrina joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"
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Missing my Son or Daughter

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Profile IconSue M and Christine joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Monday
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Monday
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Sunday
Serenity is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Just another year closer to death I pray."
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Dec 31, 2019
Ellis Gee replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I know this doesn’t help right now, but even this will pass—lt took me seven months. It may take you more or less time, but the agony you’re going through will end. You’re in my thoughts. Ellis"
Dec 28, 2019

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