Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by George H on April 1, 2015 at 6:30pm
Donna I list my faith also how could an all loving God let this happen mary was a good woman never was bad to anyone me I could be an ass at time I'm sure not getting it but she was the one who bebeleved
Comment by Donna M Dowling-Hall on April 1, 2015 at 6:21pm

I have lost my faith.  I am still angry with God and blame him. 


Comment by George H on April 1, 2015 at 4:45pm
Mary was a true believer she told her daughter that she was right with Christ and she could go anytime myself I'm still searching for answers but I hope then when she closed her eyes for the last time that it was all she expected
Comment by Tildyc on April 1, 2015 at 3:57pm
George, John T and m morgan- Thank you for sharing your opinions/thoughts on the afterlife and where you feel our loved ones may have gone. I was raised by my parents and my mom is very religious. She is a sweet and loving woman my mother and a saint in her own right. And her faith keeps her strong and has helped her through 85 yrs and everything that life throws at you when you live that long. Myself personally – as I've grown older, I've begun questioning everything that I was taught in the church when I was growing up. Ive never been what you would call a devout church goer or religious. But now that my soul mate has "disappeared" I truly feel there is a different answer from what I have been told all this time. I do feel at a gut level that there is an afterlife for us. And I'm sure most of us heard that energy never goes away, it just changes form. That is scientific fact. So it stands to reason that the energy from people who pass must go somewhere. I prefer to call this energy- our spirit/soul. And the first couple weeks that my Mark was gone, I felt his presence. I do not know how to explain it. He showed up mainly in my dreams. But these dreams were like no other dream I've ever had before. They were far beyond just lucid. There was a physical aspect to them somehow. A tingling sensation in my upper body and a voice in my head that woke me up a couple of times. The voice was not my own and I felt it more than I heard it. If that makes any sense. And I know it was Mark's voice. I realize all this sounds strange but I don't know how else to explain it. So plz don't banned me from our site because you guys might think that my cheese is slipping off my cracker. It's something that's been on my mind since Mark went away.

m morgan- what you shared- interests me. It sounds a little complicated but I would like to explore this a little more. I'll do a Internet search on this subject to start. If you have websites or other information to suggest, I'd appreciate it.
Comment by George H on April 1, 2015 at 2:25pm
Thank you Sandy
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 1, 2015 at 12:57pm

I'm right there with you George. Everyday seems to be a little harder than the next. I wish I could help make your heart lighter.

Comment by George H on April 1, 2015 at 11:54am
just another heart wrenching lonely day don't know what to do seems like it doesn't get easier it seems to get harder and harder darker and darker don't think anyone can ever figure this out
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 1, 2015 at 6:09am

Uncontrollable sadness, unending loneliness

Comment by morgan on April 1, 2015 at 1:29am


You asked earlier about belief and is there an afterlife?  Like George I was brought up Catholic but about 12 I realized it was not my cup of tea.  I needed answers not hanging my hat on some supernatural story that no one could prove.  From the day my husband died I started reading, researching and studying physics because they are trying to prove where we come from and where we go.  This time I was looking for answers that weren't quite readily available but the theories are better than the best of the old Catholic doctrines for me. 

I think space is filled with an energy vibrating at a different level all the time.  Sometimes it comes together to form matter and other times it falls apart. It all depends on the frequency of the vibration.  This "energy" is really information (the consciousness of the universe). Information that our brain processes and spits out what we perceive as reality.  Our brain is sort of a projector screen for the movie, for the information/energy we call reality.  I think string theory and  parallel universes are a plausible idea to help explain the big (classical physics)and the very very small (quantum mechanics).  Much of it has been proven and the universe functions exactly like they have surmised.  My husband and your loved one must be connecting from somewhere in some dimension otherwise why would we feel so strong about their absence. Their energy is still vibrating somewhere.  It must be.  I also think that we were connected at some point before we even met here on this planet.  I think we travelled together in some capacity before we hooked up here otherwise why would I have been so attracted to him here out of all the millions of people I could have been with.  There has to be something that brings that energy together in this physical form and I want to believe that I will be reunited with that energy when I leave this physical body.


I would never have studied physics if I wasn't searching so hard for an answer as to why I have been in soooo much pain from my husband's death. But over the past two years it has been the one thing that has made some sense to me as to this thing we call death. 


Today I went all day without crying. That is a first in weeks and weeks.  Maybe I'll have a second day too.  That would be a bonus. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do and when I read about how we all wonder how we are going to make it through I can only say that when you wake up you end up making it through because your body overules your mind.  It is going to have another day no matter what your mind says.  And days change.  None are the same now.  Crying comes at you like a slingshot.  No rules.  Just coping.


Enough for now.  Jus thought I'd throw my two cents in the ring.

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 31, 2015 at 10:20pm

I am empty!!!


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dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
19 hours ago
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"How do you guys have your settings?  I didn't have a problem before a couple of days ago."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can.  I sent a message to ninja  to check if I have a setting wrong.  I have pics to be seen by friends set.  I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"She was sent to save me.  There was a fate of that.  Too many coincidences to be otherwise.  I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship.  We both moved to a…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"WOW, that's great! "
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in a constant state of paralysis.  I seem only to be able to do things when I know I have to.  Simple things go undone.  Dust builds up on my bedroom furniture.  I look at it and say to myself, I should dust.  But…"

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