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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 354
Latest Activity: 21 hours ago

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FAILING 2 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Monty 21 hours ago.

My wife passed 5 days before christmas 7 Replies

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the…Continue

Started by Monty. Last reply by Monty Jul 8.

loost my spouce 4 Replies

Lost my spouce a couple of weeks ago and now what do I do with the rest of my life after 55 years with the same person?Continue

Started by kathy. Last reply by ET May 28.

Healing 18 Replies

Hello,I've been reading the messages here and it's brought back memories of an earlier time in my grief. I feel for each of you. This loss is the most difficult of human struggles -- at least it has…Continue

Tags: joy, on, moving, healing

Started by Trevy Thomas. Last reply by Geraldine Brown May 28.

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Comment by Marita on June 20, 2018 at 11:01am

Right on point Morgan, I couldn't have said it any better. Thanks for your honesty.

Comment by JenShep on June 20, 2018 at 9:33am

Geraldine,

i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on anything that pertained to my husband and she was totally grasping for straws the whole time. The second one got closer with a few nuggets of info that seemed to specifically relate to my husband but the rest of what she said so vague that I again felt let down. I definitely didn’t get what I was looking for out of it.

I do believe that there are mediums out there who truly have a gift but I think it’s so hard to find them and its costly to keep trying. I believe myself more than anyone else and so I try to meditate and do other things to see if I can connect with my husband on my own. I’ve had a few experiences that make me know he’s still here but it’s never enough and I’m never satisfied. I do wish I could find a medium who really has the gift and that I could communicate with Tom that way. But until then I keep trying to connect on my own. 

I know that’s not very positive but I hope it helps a bit. 

Comment by JenShep on June 20, 2018 at 9:21am

Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered if that had something to do with it. Of course I know that the fact that Tom and I were so perfectly matched and so darn in love and happy together is what makes this so difficult. The thought of moving on is so sickening to me I just could never ever do it. Plus anyone else would just be such a major disappointment. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 6:31am

Morgan,

It is so true what you said, that some of us cannot rewire, and I am part of that group.

Comment by morgan on June 19, 2018 at 11:14pm

Trevy,  Of course it is difficult to hear of others success in managing their grief where some of us feel so helpless.  It doesnt mean that your experience is any less or more relevant to someone elses.  We all deal with loss differently.  What the problem is it sounds as though you are saying if you can do it so can anyone.  That's just not the case.

If that was the case then none of us would be here on this site pleading with our inner selves and wondering why we feel so disconnected to anything we remember as joy.  And worse than that knowing this is as good as it gets.  

Some of us just cannot rewire.  There is no more heart to give to someone else.  Some of us gave it all to one person and that leaves us with nothing left. It was just the way I connected with my husband.  No one in my life ever had all of me except my husband.  Not my parents, not my siblings, no-one. No one has ever come close except my husband. He is my souls crucible.  The only thread that connects me to the universe.  I have travelled light years to be absorbed by his light.  I am now in the dark.  I need his light once again.  It is just the way it is for some of us. That doesn't mean we are offended.  It just means we cannot be persuaded that through support or trying harder or grieving through time it will change for us.  But we are glad when someone  else can make a new life. 

I know other widows through group support I participated with in the past that came out of their grief and reconstructed their lives to include a new love.  Good for them.  Good for you.  But its not going to happen for me or for many others.  And thats ok.  It needs to be ok because thats just the way it is.  I earnestly await the moment of my own exit for that is when I might possibly find joy again.  Until then its just moving around through a lot of space  that means nothing.  And that too is ok because I already had everything I ever needed or wanted.  Now I just want to be relieved of this burden of living.  And I hope in my better moments that he is waiting for me on the other side of this veil to embrace me once again so i can feel the warmth of his energy and light.  That will be my moment of peace.......my love come full circle. 

Comment by Geraldine Brown on June 19, 2018 at 6:50pm

Has anyone had a reading from a medium to connect with their loved one and would like to share their experience?

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 19, 2018 at 10:05am

Trevy,

No offense taken, I wish the best for you. Everyone is entitled to live their life as they see fit.

Comment by bluebird on June 19, 2018 at 9:53am

Trevy,

No offense taken, nor intended, on my part. While your experience is not the same as mine, I do appreciate that you understand that the death of a spouse affects different people differently, and that for some of us the death of our spouse is quite literally the end of our life. 

Comment by Trevy Thomas on June 19, 2018 at 8:31am

I am sorry for the hurt everyone is feeling. I'm also afraid that my messages here of hope have become an intrusion to those of you who do not feel any hope and I apologize for that. I won't be participating in your group any longer and have seen some other groups here that may be more appropriate for my sentiments.

To those of you here who've lost a spouse and are new to grief, please know there are many ways to grieve and it is possible to return to the living again. I have done it and so have many others. Find support where you can and let it be the kind of support YOU need. 

No on is grieving "wrong". I know that finding love again was a gift that in no way diminishes the love I had for my late husband, just as his love for me didn't diminish the love for his late wife (both husbands were widowers -- no one knows love better than one who has lost). I take no harm from your comments, even if they were intended to do so. I know you are hurting.

I wish you all to find peace from your pain.

Trevy Thomas

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 19, 2018 at 6:20am

 

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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
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