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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on March 17, 2019 at 6:34am

Hello Friend's,

Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had to leave the restaurant. I hate the f _ _ _ _ _ g cancer that took him. I have attached two pictures one year before his death he was a vibrant man and 1 year later this devil's disease wasted his body to nothing. 

Comment by morgan on March 16, 2019 at 10:34pm

Marita,

Yes, we all pretty much have found that grief is not a bump on the head.  It is a ripping apart of a quantum soul.  For me it has become an all encompassing desire to plead with the universe to take me.  I do it as I have now managed to function a bit better in everyday life but the sooner I can escape this drudgery the better.  I just don't need anything more.  I know lots of people think life is so precious and at one time so did I.  Now its just a ball and chain. Never thought I could feel this way but its truth.  And I so empathize when I see others who are having a hard time with it all.  Mainly because I know my own meltdowns are not too far off in the future.  They hit when they damn well please.  I've just gotten better at recognizing/admitting that this is how things are and going to be.  Doesn't matter that others don't see it that way.  It's only because my husband is gone and I think he wants me with him.  The question is.......how do I get there?  

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 16, 2019 at 6:05am

Hi Joe,

Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day.

Comment by Marita on March 15, 2019 at 3:49pm

Hi Joe,

My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by it that the dam breaks and the tears flow everywhere. Every breath, every heart beat without the love of our life hurts. This ever present ache will be our companion until our last breath. I hope today is a better one for you.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 15, 2019 at 5:44am

Hi Joe,

So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand.

Comment by Monty on March 14, 2019 at 5:22pm

Hi Joe

so sorry that your day is worse that usual. hope it gets better (less bad).

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 14, 2019 at 4:56pm

Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us.

Comment by bluebird on March 14, 2019 at 3:19pm
"I usually feel like I'm in hell but on days like this, hell must have a basement cause that's where I'm at right now. "

Very well said, an unfortunately so true. I think we've all been there, or are there.
Comment by Linda Engberg on March 13, 2019 at 6:24am

Hello Friends,

Again you all have posted the same thoughts that I have. My sweet little dog Babie J keeps me alive. I am only staying alive for her now. She is 14 years and is my rock right now. I have decided when she goes over the rainbow bridge I will end everything medically. I am in good physical health but the mental part is very sick. I do have medicare and will cease my co-pay and will also stop my prescription pills and just keep hoping I will end this Hellon earth. 

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 12, 2019 at 8:04pm

Joe,

Thank you for responding to me and more so for sharing the bit about glaucoma. Soon after Joseph died, I had gone for a prescription for eye glasses and was told by the ophthalmologist after he ran tests that I was a high risk person for glaucoma (one of my aunts is blind). I was terrified by the news especially as Joseph had passed recently and the last thing I wanted was to face was life with blindness to add to my utter misery. So again, thank you for your reassuring words: that you were diagnosed with glaucoma forty years ago and your vision is still okay. What a relief!

After Joseph's passing I had been praying constantly for my own death, so when I got the glaucoma diagnosis, being a person of faith, I took it as a sign-- a punishment so to speak--for praying for my own death. I took it as a sign saying that if I think this is bad without Joseph, then it can get even worse, that not only will I not die soon, but I will live for another 20-30 years with blindness. I still pray for my death, but to that I have added that however long I may have to live, whether it is one more year, or twenty more years, please may it be that I have all my mental and physical faculties intact. It's all so complicated...

Best regards, Trina

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Avi. Happy Easter to all. It's status quo for me."
2 hours ago
Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
Saturday
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
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"sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs"
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Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman."
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hows everybody doing? Theressa, Brett, Adams, Virginia?"
Thursday
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems…"
Thursday
M Adams joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my…"
Thursday
Karrie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This past week we lost a young man of 24 with three children, If there is a God why would he take this young man instead of me who's life is over. I really question my faith."
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Our suffering is unbelievable and unbearable Dream Moon.  We just jave to believe that there is an afterlife where we will be reunited with those we love.  That's all I live for now.  To die to be with my Loving wife.  I…"
Tuesday
SGO is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 15
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"wearss my mannerss gon joe sorry on yore loss 2"
Apr 14
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no so sad joe loss dear frinedd few days go way she sufferdd coz of illness wz cruell coz she wz a veryy sweet kind lady "
Apr 14
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Why I don't know, but everyone dies someday.  There is a lot of evil in our world who do terrible things.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I too suffer the loss of my wife and afraid my daughter will die soon from cancer. …"
Apr 13
Joe Kelly joined dream moon JO B's group
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"stilllasky why  moree loss siness i postedd on hear"
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"it can go on/off for yrs it can  do not t not let no 1 tell u way u shud feal or mkee u feal baf bad for grieff or los loss  lst 7 yrs iv go thruu a multii loss of pepplee  evn a cat i had for 16/17 yrss i loss 2  peplee say or…"
Apr 12

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