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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 387
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

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Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 6 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.

Loss of spouse… 3 Replies

For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue

Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

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Comment by kathleen akin on December 12, 2016 at 4:59pm

I take pain meds that are opiates.  They do help the pain, but they don't make me feel emotionally better. I didn't know they had that effect on anyone.

I drink wine. Now that has an effect on how I feel. It's hard on my ulcer, but I don't really care.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 10, 2016 at 12:47pm

Jan,

I asked my shrink and she said even though it's legal now, it will take time to train doctors to prescribe it.  Blah, Blah, Blah

Comment by Jan on December 10, 2016 at 12:41pm

I think weed is legal in FL now but I bet this condition isn't considered for this type of treatment.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 10, 2016 at 9:13am

Jan,

It's the assholes in the state government that won't allow our therapists to give us an opiate I don't care if I have to take them for the rest of my life. I have no life now.

Comment by Jan on December 10, 2016 at 6:56am

You mentioned the one medication that helps that the U.S.  won't use for our situation - opiates.  When I needed that for another condition, I found my mood improved and I could almost function normally.  France and someone told me Canada use them in some of their depression therapy.  If there was a drug trial for that here, I would certainly volunteer.  Addictive?!? Aren't most of the medications they give us for depression addictive anyway?  It's the doctors job to monitor the doses - what's the difference with opiates? They even wanted to put me through some kind of brain treatment shock type therapy - TM??" - but my insurance doesn't cover it because it's so new.  There's no guarantee of any improvement either, yet I can tell them what does seem to help and am told they can't help me with that.  What's wrong with this picture?

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 10, 2016 at 6:32am

Michael,

I will be on this site forever, I am not ever going to get better.

Linda

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 10, 2016 at 6:29am

Jan,

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I have diagnosed with complicated grief, OCD and chronic anxiety, I have been on all different type of meds for 7 years, they just help me through the day. There is no pill for grief except for opiates, which she cannot give me. I will live the way I am for the rest of my life, I have accepted that and take one day at a time.

Linda

Comment by Michael on December 9, 2016 at 10:04pm
Jan
I hear you loud and clear.
Comment by Jan on December 9, 2016 at 7:35pm

I have been diagnosed with severe depression, complicated depression and also PTSD  because of the multiple losses in my life. Checked myself into a hospital for a week a few months after my husband died.  Wasn't at all what I needed.  I've had at least 4 -5 different therapists and also a couple of psychiatrists.  Tried every medication out there and for one reason or another couldn't take them.  I was also told I don't need a psychiatrist because what I'm dealing with is grief related. I'm terrified/fearful almost constantly. I'm even afraid of the mail and always expecting bad news.  Can't even decide what to put on in the morning cuz I don't know what to do with myself each day.  I stare at my clothes like they're going to talk to me.  Was put on Lorazepam 2 times a day - helps me at least function.  Cry at the drop of a hat.  Stuff that would help, they don't use in the U.S. for depression - too addictive and not meant for that type of use.  I am at the point I would try almost anything if it could take this pain and weight off my chest.  I can't imagine living whatever time I have left feeling this way each day.  I wish I could sleep more than I do.  If I could get a later start to the day then there wouldn't be so much time to deal with before I could go to bed again.  Sound familiar to anyone?  Then I see people with extreme disabilities basically living life and truly functioning and enjoying it and I get so upset with myself that I can't pull myself out of this.  I won't stop trying  - he wouldn't want me to be like this.  I need to do it for him if not myself.  Again, if anyone finds a decent medication to help - I'm all ears. I certainly hope nobody feels ashamed of needing medication for help whether it's natural or prescription.  No shame in trying to get your life back together.  Be proud of the hard work you're doing and not giving up.  We will get better - God didn't mean for us to be like this, neither did our loved ones.  It's a shame that we can't find each other and have weekly lunches to get our feelings out and actually see another human being that feels the way we do.  I know I wouldn't feel so isolated and alone.  I'm tired of faking the way I feel because of people thinking I should be getting on better than I am.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  I do know and believe that this can be managed once we hit on the right tools - medication/therapy or whatever it takes.  I just go a new car less than 2 weeks ago and already have 1000 miles on it because when I get too bad, I get in the car and drive.  Right now that's my best therapy.

Comment by Fran on December 9, 2016 at 6:34pm

Michael, my doctor wasn't thrilled with Melatonin...suggested Valerian Root instead.

 

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