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Comment by Nancy 2 hours ago

Joe:  I'm with you on the signs.  I was positive my husband would send me signs.  I've read many books where people say it happens.  It's not a bird or a butterfly,  but they actual see and hear their loved one.  The day he passed 4 eagles circled above our house.  They went higher and higher until they were gone.  I've had nothing since that day 13 months ago. It's all so discouraging.  I keep thinking it's because he can't yet.  ??

Comment by joe kelly 3 hours ago

Geraldine, it'll be five months on Thursday that my Darling died in my arms.  I know she loved me with all her heart and if she could she would send me a sign.  I'm convinced that she can't.  I just hope that she can hear and see me.  It keeps getting worse each day and I don't think it'll ever be better.  I pray I die soon too. 

Morgan, the only thing that keeps me from taking my own life is that in my religion, suicide will not join us.  I can't take that chance.  I can only hope that since I'm a smoker, I too will get cancer and refuse treatment and pass on hoping to be reunited with her.  My death will be a happy death hoping to go to her.  I will adore her for eternity.  My fears are that maybe there is nothing after we pass.  The thought of never seeing her again is torturing.  I've come to the conclusion that there are three possibilities.  Either she can see and hear me but can't let me know.  She can't hear or see me and in the same boat as I am.  Or, there's nothing, no afterlife existence.  If that be the case, at least the pain will cease after I die but hope it's not that way.  I want to be with her for ever.  Our bodies will be.  I have my name and birth year on the stone already. My life ended when she died but I'm left here living in hell.   Joe   

Comment by Geraldine Brown 6 hours ago

I miss my love so much and keep waiting for signs that he is still with with me. Would anyone like to share their stories of signs that their loved one is sending them.

I need some hope.

Comment by Linda Engberg 9 hours ago

Hi Morgan

You and I are in the same boat and we both wish it sink with us on it.

Comment by morgan 21 hours ago

Its been a long long road since the day my husband died.   I cannot lie.  This is not getting any easier.  Instead of being in such a fog about what to do next I have more clarity as to what things are going to be like and I dont like or want to live like this.  I seem to be disregarding the approved version of living with grief to seeking a means of eliminating the grief in whatever way I can.  Note: nothing is totally off the table.  

I keep hoping it doesnt come to that.  That something will release me from the constant battering of my mind and heart.  That my body will just give it up.  I know I am not going to be here with my husband. Its not going to happen.  So in order to try to be with him what choice is there??  I know up until now I have taken the beating....the battering.......the constant coping in the hopes some small amount of kindness will be shown to me by the forces of the universe.  And each time I cave to another welling of the memories of the past I cry that I just cannot take this anymore.  That anything is better than this.....this unwillingness to live this aloneness, this missing of spirit contained in that body......

This bodily manifestation must be more ........it must exist in a place and time where I belong.  

Comment by Linda Engberg yesterday

AnneJ

Thanks for your kindness, I will be so glad when this pain ends and join my Husband in paradise.

Comment by AnneJ. yesterday

Geraldine, it's a long, terrible dark sea of grief and madness and more grief. I cried so hard that I would actually throw up, and I even got a burst vessel in my eye. My husband of 20+ years was the first, only, and last of my private life. God Speed, friend. I've been crying and howling for 4.7 years.

Comment by AnneJ. on Friday

Linda, the picture of Babie J tore my heart. I'm walking with you. Love, AnneJ.

Comment by Nancy on Thursday

Everything posted today rings so true for me too.  It helps that others truly understand.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on Thursday

Thank you Geraldine, Linda, and Marita,

Our grief for our departed soulmate will never end; we will mourn and grieve the loss of the love of our life for the rest of our lives. As you all put it, our grief will only end when someday we are finally reunited with our love.

Linda, very nicely expressed. It says it all about us the the ones who are living through a lifeless and meaningless life versus the rest of the world who has no experience or understanding about our deep sense of loss and unbearable sorrow.

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