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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 352
Latest Activity: 47 minutes ago

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My wife passed 5 days before christmas 5 Replies

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the…Continue

Started by monty thompson. Last reply by monty thompson 47 minutes ago.

loost my spouce 4 Replies

Lost my spouce a couple of weeks ago and now what do I do with the rest of my life after 55 years with the same person?Continue

Started by kathy. Last reply by ET May 28.

Healing 18 Replies

Hello,I've been reading the messages here and it's brought back memories of an earlier time in my grief. I feel for each of you. This loss is the most difficult of human struggles -- at least it has…Continue

Tags: joy, on, moving, healing

Started by Trevy Thomas. Last reply by Geraldine Brown May 28.

Books 2 Replies

Hello, everyone.I'm reading a book now that is popular, and I wonder what other grievers thought about it. It's called "Wave" and is about the true story of a woman who lost her husband, children,…Continue

Tags: Books

Started by Trevy Thomas. Last reply by Trevy Thomas May 11.

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Comment by Nancy 2 hours ago

Joe:  I'm with you on the signs.  I was positive my husband would send me signs.  I've read many books where people say it happens.  It's not a bird or a butterfly,  but they actual see and hear their loved one.  The day he passed 4 eagles circled above our house.  They went higher and higher until they were gone.  I've had nothing since that day 13 months ago. It's all so discouraging.  I keep thinking it's because he can't yet.  ??

Comment by joe kelly 3 hours ago

Geraldine, it'll be five months on Thursday that my Darling died in my arms.  I know she loved me with all her heart and if she could she would send me a sign.  I'm convinced that she can't.  I just hope that she can hear and see me.  It keeps getting worse each day and I don't think it'll ever be better.  I pray I die soon too. 

Morgan, the only thing that keeps me from taking my own life is that in my religion, suicide will not join us.  I can't take that chance.  I can only hope that since I'm a smoker, I too will get cancer and refuse treatment and pass on hoping to be reunited with her.  My death will be a happy death hoping to go to her.  I will adore her for eternity.  My fears are that maybe there is nothing after we pass.  The thought of never seeing her again is torturing.  I've come to the conclusion that there are three possibilities.  Either she can see and hear me but can't let me know.  She can't hear or see me and in the same boat as I am.  Or, there's nothing, no afterlife existence.  If that be the case, at least the pain will cease after I die but hope it's not that way.  I want to be with her for ever.  Our bodies will be.  I have my name and birth year on the stone already. My life ended when she died but I'm left here living in hell.   Joe   

Comment by Geraldine Brown 6 hours ago

I miss my love so much and keep waiting for signs that he is still with with me. Would anyone like to share their stories of signs that their loved one is sending them.

I need some hope.

Comment by Linda Engberg 9 hours ago

Hi Morgan

You and I are in the same boat and we both wish it sink with us on it.

Comment by morgan 21 hours ago

Its been a long long road since the day my husband died.   I cannot lie.  This is not getting any easier.  Instead of being in such a fog about what to do next I have more clarity as to what things are going to be like and I dont like or want to live like this.  I seem to be disregarding the approved version of living with grief to seeking a means of eliminating the grief in whatever way I can.  Note: nothing is totally off the table.  

I keep hoping it doesnt come to that.  That something will release me from the constant battering of my mind and heart.  That my body will just give it up.  I know I am not going to be here with my husband. Its not going to happen.  So in order to try to be with him what choice is there??  I know up until now I have taken the beating....the battering.......the constant coping in the hopes some small amount of kindness will be shown to me by the forces of the universe.  And each time I cave to another welling of the memories of the past I cry that I just cannot take this anymore.  That anything is better than this.....this unwillingness to live this aloneness, this missing of spirit contained in that body......

This bodily manifestation must be more ........it must exist in a place and time where I belong.  

Comment by Linda Engberg yesterday

AnneJ

Thanks for your kindness, I will be so glad when this pain ends and join my Husband in paradise.

Comment by AnneJ. yesterday

Geraldine, it's a long, terrible dark sea of grief and madness and more grief. I cried so hard that I would actually throw up, and I even got a burst vessel in my eye. My husband of 20+ years was the first, only, and last of my private life. God Speed, friend. I've been crying and howling for 4.7 years.

Comment by AnneJ. on Friday

Linda, the picture of Babie J tore my heart. I'm walking with you. Love, AnneJ.

Comment by Nancy on Thursday

Everything posted today rings so true for me too.  It helps that others truly understand.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on Thursday

Thank you Geraldine, Linda, and Marita,

Our grief for our departed soulmate will never end; we will mourn and grieve the loss of the love of our life for the rest of our lives. As you all put it, our grief will only end when someday we are finally reunited with our love.

Linda, very nicely expressed. It says it all about us the the ones who are living through a lifeless and meaningless life versus the rest of the world who has no experience or understanding about our deep sense of loss and unbearable sorrow.

 

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Latest Activity

monty thompson replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All I have noticed lately that i am having dreams with re-occuring teams. my wife leaving (though some circumstance) and having greater responsibilities to look after others.. are other experiencing dreams with constant team's ? that being…"
47 minutes ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe:  I'm with you on the signs.  I was positive my husband would send me signs.  I've read many books where people say it happens.  It's not a bird or a butterfly,  but they actual see and hear their loved…"
2 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Geraldine, it'll be five months on Thursday that my Darling died in my arms.  I know she loved me with all her heart and if she could she would send me a sign.  I'm convinced that she can't.  I just hope that she can…"
3 hours ago
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie, I hope your mom is okay.  I know how hard it is when another family member is ill.Our son's birthday was last Thursday (June 14).  The 8th without him.  And on Friday the 15th, my only sibling, my brother passed. …"
5 hours ago
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"B. Windsor, I am so happy for you that you finally were able to see and visit with your grandson.  I hope it brought you some peace and happiness, and I hope you will be able to have a good relationship with him."
5 hours ago
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello.  Where has everyone gone?  I don't ever remember it being so quiet here.  I would like to think that is a good sign, but fearful that the newbies are being ignored.This place was a place of comfort and understanding when I…"
5 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I miss my love so much and keep waiting for signs that he is still with with me. Would anyone like to share their stories of signs that their loved one is sending them. I need some hope."
6 hours ago
toni m dicarlo replied to Kar's discussion Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I haven't posted in awhile. May 26 was the 7 year date of my sons death and June 2 would have been his 23rd birthday, Gabriel was kind thoughtful and a pure joy to everyone he met. this life and the grieving have been very cyclical and when I…"
8 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan You and I are in the same boat and we both wish it sink with us on it."
9 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Great words Bluebell. I did not even leave my job as you and Virginia did so I have more reasons to feel guilty. I did not even tall to her enough before her illness. But as Bluebell said guilt has life of its own. "
13 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Its been a long long road since the day my husband died.   I cannot lie.  This is not getting any easier.  Instead of being in such a fog about what to do next I have more clarity as to what things are going to be like and I dont like…"
21 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
""I quit my job and had the most important job, to take care of her.  She gave me life and took care of me my whole life, only for me to fail her when she needed me.  But what do I do with this guilt?  How do I punish…"
21 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"AnneJ Thanks for your kindness, I will be so glad when this pain ends and join my Husband in paradise."
yesterday
AnneJ. commented on AnneJ.'s status
"I sent a reply with a couple questions but what forum it ends up on, God only knows. :)"
yesterday
Profile IconJenny Silva, B McLean, Vickie lemoigne ecklund and 3 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Trina Mamoon and Geraldine Brown are now friends
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on AnneJ.'s status
"Anne, ask away."
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I never, ever want to give anyone the impression that I did everything right. And I got way too much praise through mom's illness and after her death. I knew better. They were right about one thing. I sure loved my mom. I could have…"
yesterday
Virginia G replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Thank you for the detailed answer Dennis"
yesterday
AnneJ. left a comment for kathleen akin
"Kathleen, I really miss you. Love, AnneJ."
yesterday

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