Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 943
Latest Activity: Aug 28, 2018

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

A proof of love 13 Replies

I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?Continue

Started by Toni Jones. Last reply by Christine Jun 3, 2017.

Comment Wall


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Comment by A. Buyten on May 16, 2017 at 6:48pm

Thank you Jackie!

Good words! Dance! I have been refreshed from my girlfriends sudden passing of 4+ years ago. By the love of my now girlfriend that I have known for 10 years. It is good I am able to carry on. I have never stopped loving my girl that passed. I still cry, I miss her, and feel incomplete in a way. But it has subsided and that is good in the way of feeling less anxiety, so that is easier for me to live a fuller life day to day. So like you said "Dance" and dance when you can. Smiles!

Comment by nicole rae on May 16, 2017 at 2:23pm

in my suicide support group its called "getting used to the new normal" its taking one day at a time. concentrating on one moment at a time is all we can do.

Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 12:15pm

Thank you Jackie, I will be thinking of you and everyone tomorrow.

Take care

Comment by Jackie cooke on May 13, 2017 at 8:38am
Sending you love Theresa, I'm having such a bad day I have cried all day. Some of my tears are for everyone else on here to. Know I'm sharing your pain xx
Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 7:56am
Tomorrow is Mother's Day it will be my second mom about my mom just as hard as the first one
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 7, 2017 at 1:45pm
If I Begin to Dance Again

If I begin to dance
does it mean I am too alive?
If I sing again
Does it mean I have forgotten you are gone?
If I laugh out loud
does it mean I have forgotten
You are forever silent?

If a day goes by
without a tear
is your memory fading?
If your name
is not spoken
does it mean you never were?

If my heart is light for an instant
does it mean I mourn you less?
And If I should get through a day
without the image of your last moments
does it mean I forget your suffering?

If you are dead
can I believe and live
and ever be the same again?

And if I am never to be the same again...
will it mean
that you have left me with the gift of
being more not less because of you?
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 4:28pm
Thanks Anne x
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 3:10pm
Iv done a lot of thinking today, another saturdaynspent a lone, a datnthatbused to be our favourite day of the week. Why dismayed have to die on a Saturday, it was our day,Mae spent all,day together,either in the garden or in front of fire, just talking, reading, watching tv, just happy in each other's company, not needing anyone else. 8 weeks today my life ended. No more peace love laughter or happiness, just pain and grief. But one thing I have realised today is that I don't want this pain to go. If there was a day when one thing happens or i see something that reminds me of Shirl and I don't feel this agonising pain I would be terrified that meant I had forgot her and was moving on, I never ever want to stop missing and loving her so don't ever want to stop hurting? The pain keeps her alive inside me and that's all iv got left of her now. Does this make sense
Comment by dream moon JO B on May 4, 2017 at 4:03pm

yep so tru 1 day it a day its lk bean a a baby agan cralin thn baby stps but dnt try2 rush grief evn if it taks yrs dnt rush it or let pepel bully us in 2 it it in 2 it

my hes all ovr it min coz moms got alz/dem wish cud tak yrs of msry for her us 2 i neam faly famly 

had so mush loss its got my hed bated it in 

i wush u cud of stad in 2011 nevr leve 2011 coz 212 212 2012 wz  my stred of a shit coster rid wish i still on u cud say

2013 wz loss 2 thn 2014 2015 2015 20116 2016 had 2 get my fur kid of 16 yrs of frndshp pts i had 2 

im scred 2 gt 2 clos 2 pepel i am in cas i lozze thm i am do i sond mad iv bean hear sisne 2012 i hav its juts 2 mush loss its getin 2 me it is

Comment by stewart p on May 4, 2017 at 12:24pm

karen stephenson

you just do, one day at a time, it sucks, its horrible, it stinks and nothing good about it but you go through it and in the process something happens that changes nearly everything you ever thought about life before if you let it happen, the pain is just that, emotional pain but it will not kill any of us, but it does hurt god awful, bone crushing, gut wrenching at times.  Ive spent plenty a night and day feeling that horrible pain so i know what it feels like, but we live to see another day and so on, i know it might sound kind of cliche, but thats what happens and eventually more time passes and for many people you just get use to it, adapt to the new surreal i guess for lack of a better word.  Best to you


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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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