"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
-
Sue Waxman
- Female
- Nokomis, FL
- United States
- Blog Posts (2)
- Discussions (45)
- Groups (9)
- Photos (2)
- Photo Albums (2)
- Videos
Sue Waxman's Groups
-
Tattoo Memorial
173 members
-
Losing a Sister
93 members
-
When will the ache subsi…
77 members
-
Traumatic, Sudden Loss
945 members
-
Murder Victims Families
67 members
Sue Waxman's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- My name is Sue. I am 57 years old, live with my Golden Retriever and 5 cats. I work in animal rescue. My husband left me 4 years ago for a younger "skinnnier" girl. He broke my heart deeply. I have 3 sisters who I have no relationship with because they are just horrible people. They used me, or I should say I let them use me for years when I was married and have unlimited funds to do things for them and their families. My mother, my only parent lost a very courageous battle to throat cancer June 26, 2011. She was all I had in this world. She was always there for me. We share December 19th as our birthday. I believe that cancer is created by evil and God takes away the pain it creates by taking our loved ones to be with him. Evil is gaining momentum on earth. So many people dying from cancer and in other horrible ways. God bless all of you. I miss you Mom.
- About my Loss:
- Dear Mother,
I am so sad without you darling. I watched you suffer so much from the cancer, the radiation and chemo. I watched your daughter Stacey hurt you a lot. She did a lot of good things for you but she also was just plain mean to both of us. She has to live with herself. It was always YOU and ME Mom. I miss our going to the movies, shopping. Christmas is just another day now. No turkey preparation for Thanksgiving. Oh, I I miss those times. I know that you are with Granma and Freddy and Grampa Joe and Nana. How jealous I am that I am not there with you. Thank you for coming to visit me in my dreams. I am doing OK Mom. I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me. Have fun, be carefree. No more pain. No more worries about money. You were my everything. I have 5 cats now. You would be mad about that! LOL. But they are my family Momma. I never thought I would be 57 years old and completely alone. But this is my journey and I learn from it every day. Until we are together again my darling....enjoy heaven. I love you darling. But you know that. Love Your daughter Sue
Sue Waxman's Photos
Sue Waxman's Blog
I feel so alone....
It will be 2 years June 26th that Mom passed. I can't even use the word "died". My life is such a struggle. I try so hard to be the best person I can be. The job I loved, as a veterinary nurse/tech, is now something I can no longer put my heart into. The women I work with UNBEARABLE. They have told the boss that I don't carry my weight. I was floored. Had a good cry this morning. My day off - I am crying. I have absolutely no one to tell me everything is OK. My family is so…
ContinuePosted on June 20, 2013 at 7:35am — 8 Comments
Making sense of it all....
Hello,
My name is Sue. I am a 55 year old divorced 2 years ago. I barely survived that pain and loss (20 year married). Left me for of course, a younger woman. I lost everything. He had been planning his departure for a year. I am on this wonderful support site because June 7, 2011 my adorable, loving, strong, wonderful best friend and mother Nancy Preston died from complications from chemo therapy (throat cancer). She had been a heavy smoker but quit 20 years ago. Her lungs were…
ContinuePosted on July 20, 2011 at 11:31am — 8 Comments
Groups
-
I miss my Mom!
728 members
-
Lost My Spouse...
364 members
-
Grief Counseling
116 members
-
Grieving Teens
7 members
-
I love my Dad.
395 members
Latest Activity
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi Brett
Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.
Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Bluebird,
I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write. You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was. That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice"Pamela,
I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow. I will be at six years in January. I have pictures of my husband all over my house. I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
Virginia G posted a discussionWhat’s the point
Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness? If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any.
its the only answer"
Pamela philipp posted a blog postI need advice
I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Joe & Bluebird,
Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate. I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently. I wasn’t trying to think of songs either. First it was I…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate.
Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family.
So how am I expected to live without them?"
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"Such a good question.
No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.
If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."morgan,
As usual, I identify so much with your post.
As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
© 2018 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
Comment Wall (59 comments)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thank you for your kind words a couple of years ago after my mom died. I appreciate you and your faithful support.
~Meg
Sue, wishing me a Happy Birthday was nice...thank you. The letter you wrote your mother tore my heart out! You mentioned watching your mother suffer, I am assuming she passed at home. My wife passed at home and she suffered a great deal. You mention how unimportant Christmas and Thanksgiving is now....that's exactly what I was feeling yesterday on my birthday. Holidays will have no meaning now. They will only bring sadness. I was way to close to my wife and her leaving has really hurt. We were always together and I am completely lost without her. What got me the most in your letter to your mom was "I am doing OK mom, I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me"...I'm crying while I am reading it. I talk to a picture of my wife all the time....I said those same words to her. I have been a wreck since my wife passed...and if she is watching me I know she is worried about me. Your words were perfect. It will make her feel better to hear them. Don't worry...I told her where those words came from...lol. I just wanted to let you know I could feel the love and the pain in your letter to your mom and I thought it was very sweet to write it. You take care....
Michael
I'm also sorry for your loss and your mother's pain at the end of her life. Mother's and daughters tend to be best friends. I know that's not always the case, but it sounds like it was in yours and I know it was in mine. Peace to us both.
Thank you for your kind comments. You and everyone one this site is keeping me going. I spent the day thinking of ways to honor my mom's memory, sorting pictures, all the cards she's sent me over the years for birthdays and holidays. It helps. And you and the member's here words help so much. I like it - one hour at a time. It sounds like a great plan.
I'm sorry to read of your mom's passing. Watching her fight an illness and then succumb to it must have been very difficult. I'm glad to read that you have experienced her presence, that must be comforting. I'm relatively new to this site and seeing how many people live with grief everyday is heartbreaking. It's comforting to know there is a place we can all go for nonjudgmental support. My thoughts are with you as I'm certain you will always feel the pain of losing not just your mom but your best friend.
sory abot yore mum having c o p d i saw my dad sufer it from yrs we now fpund oyt resperty desese runs in the family my dad stopet smoking i 1973 and so did my mum in 1973 after thy got maried my dad woz my mums 2nd husband but he woz a good a man she maried my dad after she got devorsed we moved to a area wen i woz 8 or 9 wear ther woz a lot of facterys a lot of snoke coming from thm and a lot of trucks in the id 80s my dad got dignosed with co pd in 2005 i tryed smoking wen i woz a tean thnk god i did not like the taste my anti dot has ful on emthaseana but she wont stop smoking all i get is if she stopet it wud kill her she is 80 now and smoket from aged 11 we all tell her its bad for her but all we get u hav to die of som kind of desese sory if iv bean to mush
Hi! I'm sorry about your mom. My mom died on Dec 27,2012 and she was my best friend and confidante. Your mother was lucky to have such a wonderful and brave and strong daughter.
Hi Sue,
First of all I must say you r beautiful and I see where u got it from...ur mom. I know how u r feeling, as though God has forsaken you, but ur beautiful mom is in heaven looking down at u. One day u will join her nd be happy 2gether again. Right now u have to continue doing the things she would want u to do. U seem like a woman of strength to me.
Jean
Thank you for your words. Sometimes you think your going through this pain alone. Thank you for making this group. I was really close to mymom and when she passed it felt like I couldn't nteath. Its comforting to be able to talk to someone who knows what you are going through.
Well lets just say I am surviving. I go thru the daily routines as I have no choice but my heart is broken. I spend a lot of my spare time with my 80 yr old mother or my dear friend Deborah. I hope God does not take my mother anytime in the near future. She is very healthy and active. About a year ago I was finally starting to feel some what 'normal' and then my son became ill. He was living with me at the time as he was separated from his spouse. I took care of him for 6 months and he passed from complications of kidney failure. He was on dialysis and got an infection thru the dialysis port which became sepsis and he could not fight it. I too was with him when he took his last breath. Tears come to my eyes as I am telling you this. I know he is in a wonderful place and is with his dad and his Father but I still wish he was still here on earth. He has 3 small children, 6,7 & 8 and they are wonderful and doing very well. My husband of 34 yrs passed in 2008 and I never thought that would happen. He became ill very quickly and only lasted 2 weeks, he passed from complications of Leukemia. I felt so guilty after his passing for a long long time, kept thinking I should of done this or that or said this or shouldn't have said that, should have stayed at the hospital longer to be with him etc etc. It does get better with time but you still have that place in your heart for them. I just wish God will show me what I am suppose to do now and I know He will. I am so sorry for your loss. And what the jackass spouse put you through. I am so sorry. But you do have God on your side and He loves you. Thank you Jesus. Hope you have a blessed day.
Reenie
View All Comments