"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
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Sue Waxman
- Female
- Nokomis, FL
- United States
- Blog Posts (2)
- Discussions (45)
- Groups (9)
- Photos (2)
- Photo Albums (2)
- Videos
Sue Waxman's Groups
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Tattoo Memorial
173 members
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Losing a Sister
93 members
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When will the ache subsi…
77 members
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
943 members
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Murder Victims Families
67 members
Sue Waxman's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- My name is Sue. I am 57 years old, live with my Golden Retriever and 5 cats. I work in animal rescue. My husband left me 4 years ago for a younger "skinnnier" girl. He broke my heart deeply. I have 3 sisters who I have no relationship with because they are just horrible people. They used me, or I should say I let them use me for years when I was married and have unlimited funds to do things for them and their families. My mother, my only parent lost a very courageous battle to throat cancer June 26, 2011. She was all I had in this world. She was always there for me. We share December 19th as our birthday. I believe that cancer is created by evil and God takes away the pain it creates by taking our loved ones to be with him. Evil is gaining momentum on earth. So many people dying from cancer and in other horrible ways. God bless all of you. I miss you Mom.
- About my Loss:
- Dear Mother,
I am so sad without you darling. I watched you suffer so much from the cancer, the radiation and chemo. I watched your daughter Stacey hurt you a lot. She did a lot of good things for you but she also was just plain mean to both of us. She has to live with herself. It was always YOU and ME Mom. I miss our going to the movies, shopping. Christmas is just another day now. No turkey preparation for Thanksgiving. Oh, I I miss those times. I know that you are with Granma and Freddy and Grampa Joe and Nana. How jealous I am that I am not there with you. Thank you for coming to visit me in my dreams. I am doing OK Mom. I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me. Have fun, be carefree. No more pain. No more worries about money. You were my everything. I have 5 cats now. You would be mad about that! LOL. But they are my family Momma. I never thought I would be 57 years old and completely alone. But this is my journey and I learn from it every day. Until we are together again my darling....enjoy heaven. I love you darling. But you know that. Love Your daughter Sue
Sue Waxman's Photos
Sue Waxman's Blog
I feel so alone....
It will be 2 years June 26th that Mom passed. I can't even use the word "died". My life is such a struggle. I try so hard to be the best person I can be. The job I loved, as a veterinary nurse/tech, is now something I can no longer put my heart into. The women I work with UNBEARABLE. They have told the boss that I don't carry my weight. I was floored. Had a good cry this morning. My day off - I am crying. I have absolutely no one to tell me everything is OK. My family is so…
ContinuePosted on June 20, 2013 at 7:35am — 8 Comments
Making sense of it all....
Hello,
My name is Sue. I am a 55 year old divorced 2 years ago. I barely survived that pain and loss (20 year married). Left me for of course, a younger woman. I lost everything. He had been planning his departure for a year. I am on this wonderful support site because June 7, 2011 my adorable, loving, strong, wonderful best friend and mother Nancy Preston died from complications from chemo therapy (throat cancer). She had been a heavy smoker but quit 20 years ago. Her lungs were…
ContinuePosted on July 20, 2011 at 11:31am — 8 Comments
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
365 members
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I miss my Mom!
731 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
24 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
609 members
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"Till death do us part",…
5 members
Latest Activity
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.
God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
"Dear Morgan,
Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her. Like yesterday, I found a small 3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me.
Joe, So true. That's exactly why I post here too. I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone. That consoles…"
"Hello All,
I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all. Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
"Morgan,
Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us.
You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."John T,
I saw your post late late last night. I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing. After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.
Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
"John,
We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
"Thinking of you John T. I understand. "
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me. The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it. All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife. I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day. Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
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Thank you for your kind words a couple of years ago after my mom died. I appreciate you and your faithful support.
~Meg
Sue, wishing me a Happy Birthday was nice...thank you. The letter you wrote your mother tore my heart out! You mentioned watching your mother suffer, I am assuming she passed at home. My wife passed at home and she suffered a great deal. You mention how unimportant Christmas and Thanksgiving is now....that's exactly what I was feeling yesterday on my birthday. Holidays will have no meaning now. They will only bring sadness. I was way to close to my wife and her leaving has really hurt. We were always together and I am completely lost without her. What got me the most in your letter to your mom was "I am doing OK mom, I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me"...I'm crying while I am reading it. I talk to a picture of my wife all the time....I said those same words to her. I have been a wreck since my wife passed...and if she is watching me I know she is worried about me. Your words were perfect. It will make her feel better to hear them. Don't worry...I told her where those words came from...lol. I just wanted to let you know I could feel the love and the pain in your letter to your mom and I thought it was very sweet to write it. You take care....
Michael
I'm also sorry for your loss and your mother's pain at the end of her life. Mother's and daughters tend to be best friends. I know that's not always the case, but it sounds like it was in yours and I know it was in mine. Peace to us both.
Thank you for your kind comments. You and everyone one this site is keeping me going. I spent the day thinking of ways to honor my mom's memory, sorting pictures, all the cards she's sent me over the years for birthdays and holidays. It helps. And you and the member's here words help so much. I like it - one hour at a time. It sounds like a great plan.
I'm sorry to read of your mom's passing. Watching her fight an illness and then succumb to it must have been very difficult. I'm glad to read that you have experienced her presence, that must be comforting. I'm relatively new to this site and seeing how many people live with grief everyday is heartbreaking. It's comforting to know there is a place we can all go for nonjudgmental support. My thoughts are with you as I'm certain you will always feel the pain of losing not just your mom but your best friend.
sory abot yore mum having c o p d i saw my dad sufer it from yrs we now fpund oyt resperty desese runs in the family my dad stopet smoking i 1973 and so did my mum in 1973 after thy got maried my dad woz my mums 2nd husband but he woz a good a man she maried my dad after she got devorsed we moved to a area wen i woz 8 or 9 wear ther woz a lot of facterys a lot of snoke coming from thm and a lot of trucks in the id 80s my dad got dignosed with co pd in 2005 i tryed smoking wen i woz a tean thnk god i did not like the taste my anti dot has ful on emthaseana but she wont stop smoking all i get is if she stopet it wud kill her she is 80 now and smoket from aged 11 we all tell her its bad for her but all we get u hav to die of som kind of desese sory if iv bean to mush
Hi! I'm sorry about your mom. My mom died on Dec 27,2012 and she was my best friend and confidante. Your mother was lucky to have such a wonderful and brave and strong daughter.
Hi Sue,
First of all I must say you r beautiful and I see where u got it from...ur mom. I know how u r feeling, as though God has forsaken you, but ur beautiful mom is in heaven looking down at u. One day u will join her nd be happy 2gether again. Right now u have to continue doing the things she would want u to do. U seem like a woman of strength to me.
Jean
Thank you for your words. Sometimes you think your going through this pain alone. Thank you for making this group. I was really close to mymom and when she passed it felt like I couldn't nteath. Its comforting to be able to talk to someone who knows what you are going through.
Well lets just say I am surviving. I go thru the daily routines as I have no choice but my heart is broken. I spend a lot of my spare time with my 80 yr old mother or my dear friend Deborah. I hope God does not take my mother anytime in the near future. She is very healthy and active. About a year ago I was finally starting to feel some what 'normal' and then my son became ill. He was living with me at the time as he was separated from his spouse. I took care of him for 6 months and he passed from complications of kidney failure. He was on dialysis and got an infection thru the dialysis port which became sepsis and he could not fight it. I too was with him when he took his last breath. Tears come to my eyes as I am telling you this. I know he is in a wonderful place and is with his dad and his Father but I still wish he was still here on earth. He has 3 small children, 6,7 & 8 and they are wonderful and doing very well. My husband of 34 yrs passed in 2008 and I never thought that would happen. He became ill very quickly and only lasted 2 weeks, he passed from complications of Leukemia. I felt so guilty after his passing for a long long time, kept thinking I should of done this or that or said this or shouldn't have said that, should have stayed at the hospital longer to be with him etc etc. It does get better with time but you still have that place in your heart for them. I just wish God will show me what I am suppose to do now and I know He will. I am so sorry for your loss. And what the jackass spouse put you through. I am so sorry. But you do have God on your side and He loves you. Thank you Jesus. Hope you have a blessed day.
Reenie
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