"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash. We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us. I am so tired of being labeled…"
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Sue Waxman
- Female
- Nokomis, FL
- United States
- Blog Posts (2)
- Discussions (45)
- Groups (9)
- Photos (2)
- Photo Albums (2)
- Videos
Sue Waxman's Groups
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Tattoo Memorial
173 members
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Losing a Sister
93 members
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When will the ache subsi…
77 members
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
945 members
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Murder Victims Families
67 members
Sue Waxman's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- My name is Sue. I am 57 years old, live with my Golden Retriever and 5 cats. I work in animal rescue. My husband left me 4 years ago for a younger "skinnnier" girl. He broke my heart deeply. I have 3 sisters who I have no relationship with because they are just horrible people. They used me, or I should say I let them use me for years when I was married and have unlimited funds to do things for them and their families. My mother, my only parent lost a very courageous battle to throat cancer June 26, 2011. She was all I had in this world. She was always there for me. We share December 19th as our birthday. I believe that cancer is created by evil and God takes away the pain it creates by taking our loved ones to be with him. Evil is gaining momentum on earth. So many people dying from cancer and in other horrible ways. God bless all of you. I miss you Mom.
- About my Loss:
- Dear Mother,
I am so sad without you darling. I watched you suffer so much from the cancer, the radiation and chemo. I watched your daughter Stacey hurt you a lot. She did a lot of good things for you but she also was just plain mean to both of us. She has to live with herself. It was always YOU and ME Mom. I miss our going to the movies, shopping. Christmas is just another day now. No turkey preparation for Thanksgiving. Oh, I I miss those times. I know that you are with Granma and Freddy and Grampa Joe and Nana. How jealous I am that I am not there with you. Thank you for coming to visit me in my dreams. I am doing OK Mom. I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me. Have fun, be carefree. No more pain. No more worries about money. You were my everything. I have 5 cats now. You would be mad about that! LOL. But they are my family Momma. I never thought I would be 57 years old and completely alone. But this is my journey and I learn from it every day. Until we are together again my darling....enjoy heaven. I love you darling. But you know that. Love Your daughter Sue
Sue Waxman's Photos
Sue Waxman's Blog
I feel so alone....
It will be 2 years June 26th that Mom passed. I can't even use the word "died". My life is such a struggle. I try so hard to be the best person I can be. The job I loved, as a veterinary nurse/tech, is now something I can no longer put my heart into. The women I work with UNBEARABLE. They have told the boss that I don't carry my weight. I was floored. Had a good cry this morning. My day off - I am crying. I have absolutely no one to tell me everything is OK. My family is so…
ContinuePosted on June 20, 2013 at 7:35am — 8 Comments
Making sense of it all....
Hello,
My name is Sue. I am a 55 year old divorced 2 years ago. I barely survived that pain and loss (20 year married). Left me for of course, a younger woman. I lost everything. He had been planning his departure for a year. I am on this wonderful support site because June 7, 2011 my adorable, loving, strong, wonderful best friend and mother Nancy Preston died from complications from chemo therapy (throat cancer). She had been a heavy smoker but quit 20 years ago. Her lungs were…
ContinuePosted on July 20, 2011 at 11:31am — 8 Comments
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
364 members
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I miss my Mom!
728 members
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hi
3 members
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Tips to help one cope wi…
24 members
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Has your faith been test…
36 members
Latest Activity
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Lovely pictures everyone. Thank you for sharing. I am in the same boat. I just exist. "
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I,m grateful that I found this site. It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left. I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often. All my so called local…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Linda,
We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003. Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Morgan & Joe,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Joe, 49 years is a long time. Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union. I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35. Long…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Kelly Lieberman posted a status"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them.
My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed"Mindy,
I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
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Thank you for your kind words a couple of years ago after my mom died. I appreciate you and your faithful support.
~Meg
Sue, wishing me a Happy Birthday was nice...thank you. The letter you wrote your mother tore my heart out! You mentioned watching your mother suffer, I am assuming she passed at home. My wife passed at home and she suffered a great deal. You mention how unimportant Christmas and Thanksgiving is now....that's exactly what I was feeling yesterday on my birthday. Holidays will have no meaning now. They will only bring sadness. I was way to close to my wife and her leaving has really hurt. We were always together and I am completely lost without her. What got me the most in your letter to your mom was "I am doing OK mom, I don't want you to spend your glorious time in heaven worrying about me"...I'm crying while I am reading it. I talk to a picture of my wife all the time....I said those same words to her. I have been a wreck since my wife passed...and if she is watching me I know she is worried about me. Your words were perfect. It will make her feel better to hear them. Don't worry...I told her where those words came from...lol. I just wanted to let you know I could feel the love and the pain in your letter to your mom and I thought it was very sweet to write it. You take care....
Michael
I'm also sorry for your loss and your mother's pain at the end of her life. Mother's and daughters tend to be best friends. I know that's not always the case, but it sounds like it was in yours and I know it was in mine. Peace to us both.
Thank you for your kind comments. You and everyone one this site is keeping me going. I spent the day thinking of ways to honor my mom's memory, sorting pictures, all the cards she's sent me over the years for birthdays and holidays. It helps. And you and the member's here words help so much. I like it - one hour at a time. It sounds like a great plan.
I'm sorry to read of your mom's passing. Watching her fight an illness and then succumb to it must have been very difficult. I'm glad to read that you have experienced her presence, that must be comforting. I'm relatively new to this site and seeing how many people live with grief everyday is heartbreaking. It's comforting to know there is a place we can all go for nonjudgmental support. My thoughts are with you as I'm certain you will always feel the pain of losing not just your mom but your best friend.
sory abot yore mum having c o p d i saw my dad sufer it from yrs we now fpund oyt resperty desese runs in the family my dad stopet smoking i 1973 and so did my mum in 1973 after thy got maried my dad woz my mums 2nd husband but he woz a good a man she maried my dad after she got devorsed we moved to a area wen i woz 8 or 9 wear ther woz a lot of facterys a lot of snoke coming from thm and a lot of trucks in the id 80s my dad got dignosed with co pd in 2005 i tryed smoking wen i woz a tean thnk god i did not like the taste my anti dot has ful on emthaseana but she wont stop smoking all i get is if she stopet it wud kill her she is 80 now and smoket from aged 11 we all tell her its bad for her but all we get u hav to die of som kind of desese sory if iv bean to mush
Hi! I'm sorry about your mom. My mom died on Dec 27,2012 and she was my best friend and confidante. Your mother was lucky to have such a wonderful and brave and strong daughter.
Hi Sue,
First of all I must say you r beautiful and I see where u got it from...ur mom. I know how u r feeling, as though God has forsaken you, but ur beautiful mom is in heaven looking down at u. One day u will join her nd be happy 2gether again. Right now u have to continue doing the things she would want u to do. U seem like a woman of strength to me.
Jean
Thank you for your words. Sometimes you think your going through this pain alone. Thank you for making this group. I was really close to mymom and when she passed it felt like I couldn't nteath. Its comforting to be able to talk to someone who knows what you are going through.
Well lets just say I am surviving. I go thru the daily routines as I have no choice but my heart is broken. I spend a lot of my spare time with my 80 yr old mother or my dear friend Deborah. I hope God does not take my mother anytime in the near future. She is very healthy and active. About a year ago I was finally starting to feel some what 'normal' and then my son became ill. He was living with me at the time as he was separated from his spouse. I took care of him for 6 months and he passed from complications of kidney failure. He was on dialysis and got an infection thru the dialysis port which became sepsis and he could not fight it. I too was with him when he took his last breath. Tears come to my eyes as I am telling you this. I know he is in a wonderful place and is with his dad and his Father but I still wish he was still here on earth. He has 3 small children, 6,7 & 8 and they are wonderful and doing very well. My husband of 34 yrs passed in 2008 and I never thought that would happen. He became ill very quickly and only lasted 2 weeks, he passed from complications of Leukemia. I felt so guilty after his passing for a long long time, kept thinking I should of done this or that or said this or shouldn't have said that, should have stayed at the hospital longer to be with him etc etc. It does get better with time but you still have that place in your heart for them. I just wish God will show me what I am suppose to do now and I know He will. I am so sorry for your loss. And what the jackass spouse put you through. I am so sorry. But you do have God on your side and He loves you. Thank you Jesus. Hope you have a blessed day.
Reenie
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