stewart p
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  • Battle Ground, WA
  • United States
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  • Michaela waldier
  • morgan

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stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"like to share an inspirational story I just read about hope and the…"
Jun 4
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Maxey, you description of a sailboat adrift in the sea describes how i feel everyday.  You said something that caught my eye when you mentioned "trying to fill the void".  May I suggest to stop trying to fill the void and begin…"
Jan 5, 2018
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Ive spent the last few years forcing myself to get up, get out and get going and nothing I do will "make it better".  It is what it is and Ive come to realize the only thing I can do is change how I deal with it.  Its a new a way…"
Dec 30, 2017
stewart p is now friends with Michaela waldier and Amy
Dec 30, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm trying dancing lessons for a few months, always thought it would be neat and I cant dance worth 2 cents, for now.  If nothing else it helps keep me busy, distracted and finding something different to do, otherwise its too easy to sit…"
Dec 30, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I’d like to just to jump back on here for a moment share a little bit, because I care about all of those here who I share a unique bond with.  I realize some may disagree while someone else might gain some renewed hope or encouragement…"
Dec 19, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"BUT, I kept making myself do it, exercising, going for walks, bike rides, take the dog to the park, eventually began speaking before groups, found a new job I like and next month I will begin taking dance lessons.  Ive also met a very nice…"
Dec 19, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda Engberg your talking about that poem?  Thanks though I can take no credit it for it.  I was bingeing on netflix again watching SOA for like the 4th time in a row, it gets kind of boring but its one of the few things I find takes my…"
Nov 2, 2017
stewart p commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Crystal, sorry to hear about you mum.  I can say from my own experience, would of, should of, could of is not worth the time and energy it takes to ponder.  Just ask yourself if what you did or think you didn't do you then, did you do…"
Oct 12, 2017
stewart p commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"i take it back, Im downright pissed and sometimes hate life.  I had to say goodbye and I never got to say goodbye, somehow that just isnt right, and Im left struggling with it each GD day of my life"
Oct 8, 2017
stewart p commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Nearly 5 years coming up and not much new to say.  Use to post on here a lot the first couple of years, notice a lot of new faces, Id say welcome but this isn't the sort of place you want to come to, more out of quiet desperation or…"
Oct 8, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I use to post on here a lot first couple of years, now nearly 5 years later lots of new faces, anyway thought Id drop in and just post this.  Ive junked out on Netflix ever since just for a distraction, watching one of my favorites for …"
Oct 6, 2017
stewart p commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"karen stephenson you just do, one day at a time, it sucks, its horrible, it stinks and nothing good about it but you go through it and in the process something happens that changes nearly everything you ever thought about life before if you let it…"
May 4, 2017
stewart p commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Coming up on 4 years for me after being married 23 and have my world shaken apart all in lousy piece of sh5%t night.  It is hard, up and down and all around, one day better, next day worst.  Ive been to bereavement groups, counseling, no…"
May 4, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I got a new dog a couple years back and went for another walk in a park where my wife and I werent able to go hike at because of her health problems before she died.  It was actually fun and I dont remember thinking even second about her, just…"
Jan 25, 2017
stewart p commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I agree and maybe Ill have to try the friend route more again, its just regardless of whether its with friends, a date a job, a coworker, relatives i find myself generally choosing to stay at home alone, even over the holidays.  I…"
Jan 23, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
i am 52, father of 2 boys age 20 and 17 lost my wife on june 14/2013 suddenly and unexpectedly to a prescription drug overdose
About my Loss:
lost my wife of 23 years on June 14/2013 suddenly and unexpectedly to a prescription drug overdose

Stewart p's Blog

What do the birds mean

I can relate completely to every step in your day as if it were yesterday, its been almost 2 years now for me and I can say that I still go through many of the things as before, just as you describe them, but not as much and as frequently.  I still see a counselor but infrequently, I lay around in bed but less often, and I do sleep through the night most often and only wake up once in a while at 4.  I prefer to sleep because I often dream about my wife and i prefer that over being awake.  Im…

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Posted on May 14, 2015 at 9:22am — 4 Comments

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At 1:29am on August 15, 2015, rachel_micele said…

Hi Stewart,

I'm glad to see your latest posts. I saved a post of yours written in May of last year and was actually looking for your profile about a month ago but couldn't find it. I thought maybe you left the site or something. Just really liked hearing, as someone further along this road of hell, your practical suggestions, words of encouragement, insight, etc. 

So that's all. Just glad you're still here and thank your for writing about the details of your journey.

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I dream about my Mom & Dad & thankfully they are always good dreams that are comforting.  An Aunt that I was close to is in a lot of the dreams with my parents.  I have one sibling. He is never in the dreams of my parents.  I…"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I rarely dream about my mom. When I do dream about her it is almost always bad. I had a horrible dream last night. It was very short. I was standing near the front door of my mom's house. I looked down to greet my dog. There was a little puppy…"
14 hours ago
Lauren A Fernandez is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I relate to you all who have posted lately.  2 years for me.  2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened.  I am still in a trauma state of mind.  Forgetful, irritable, less patient.  I isolate…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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Nothing feels real

My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Saturday
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Saturday
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Saturday
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Friday
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
"I hate my life without her now I miss her so much, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left"
Friday
Profile IconSharon batten, Eileen A. Palazza, Deanna N Nash and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Kathleen Jordan posted photos
Friday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"Even though dream moon can't do grammar, I agree. It doesn't stop...it will hit at moments out of the clear blue....4 years, 9 years or 20.  It is a loss, and it's real."
Friday
Kathleen Jordan added 2 discussions to the group What's Next?
Friday

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