Lynn Boyd
  • Female
  • Vacaville, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
59-yo grandmother and homemaker
About my Loss:
My husband of 25 years, we celebrated our 25th Anniversary on New Year's Eve in Las Vegas, had a wonderful time. Immediately after we got home, my husband got sick, was hospitalized in ICU and died three weeks later from the FLU and double pneumonia. I am all alone, all family members live very far away. We just moved to this new house barely 3 years ago, I don't know anybody here. I'm not handling this very well.

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At 10:00am on May 21, 2015, sunflower said…

Dear Lynn, you seem such a positive person until you suffered the loss of your husband had you aways had an upbeat view on life?  Mark  and I complimented each other if had such a great sense of humour and imagination whereas I am more serious and bookish.  I miss him so much, I keep thinking back to Christmas I had no idea of what was ahead for me.  My brother came from London and helped me sort his things out, as long as his toothbrush etc where in the bathroom I kept expecting him back.  You think you have accepted eventually that they are physical gone but just for an instance I sometimes forget especially if I have had some vivid dream.  At this point in time I cannot see a future without him it just seems so bleak I feel for everyone going through their losses of loved ones.  When I lost my mum 4 years ago I never for one moment thought I would have to go through all this grief again.

Mark use to buy me ornaments of fairies and angels so your photographs are very apt.

My warmest wishes.

At 9:59am on May 21, 2015, sunflower said…

Dear Lynn, you seem such a positive person until you suffered the loss of your husband had you aways had an upbeat view on life?  Mark  and I complimented each other if had such a great sense of humour and imagination whereas I am more serious and bookish.  I miss him so much, I keep thinking back to Christmas I had no idea of what was ahead for me.  My brother came from London and helped me sort his things out, as long as his toothbrush etc where in the bathroom I kept expecting him back.  You think you have accepted eventually that they are physical gone but just for an instance I sometimes forget especially if I have had some vivid dream.  At this point in time I cannot see a future without him it just seems so bleak I feel for everyone going through their losses of loved ones.  When I lost my mum 4 years ago I never for one moment thought I would have to go through all this grief again.

Mark use to buy me ornaments of fairies and angels so your photographs are very apt.

My warmest wishes.

At 7:53am on May 20, 2015, sunflower said…

Dear Lynn

I Iove the photographs you have posted you look so happy with your husband. At the moment I can not bring myself to look at any of Mark's I seem to deliberately try not to bring his face to mind to avoid another way of getting upset.  At this moment  I cannot image how you have managed to go on and be so supportive of myself and others on this site.  Lately I feel I am feeling just as bad as I did back in January.  Feeling so alone is just a bad place to be.

My warmest wishes to you.

At 7:01am on May 18, 2015, sunflower said…

It was very kind to respond.  I expect you know and appreciate how alone and lonely I feel.  I just feel there is no  point to anything any more and I drag myself out of bed each day to look after my cats, one is quite elderly, 18 years old, the other on about 12 years she was a stray  so not quite sure.

I have been going to bereavement councelling but all she kept saying last week was ' grief takes as long as it takes' which I felt very unhelpful.  I do not seem to be making any progress.  I have spent the weekend mostly in tears and the pain nearly breaks me in two.

It is only 4 years in July since I lost my mum and I was only coming to terms with that last year.  My dad passes exactly 21 years ago today.  It is so heart breaking not having Mark here to share all this with.

My most kindest thoughts to you and my admiration for your perseverence.

At 8:45am on November 18, 2014, Danny said…

Its tough Lynn.  My parents are married for 53 years so it is really tough to digest as I can see.  It might help moving back to the old neighbourhood.

 
 
 

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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
2 hours ago
Aimee Hall Fuszard updated their profile photo
3 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Joe for your posts. In a weird way it gives me a lift.  How?  Because I know that I am not making up how hard this suffering is.   My closest friend and sibling also know how I feel about dying and I know I would not have to…"
4 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe that is incredible. thanks for the time and energy sharing. i think ill look at some of your suggestions and see what will work for me. for me this week has been hard. 1 week until first anniversary of her death, i don't know what to…"
5 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Read second post first Morgan. Had to break it up into two parts and did it backwards."
7 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
""As the years are passing I feel the need more and more." When I read some of you guys suffering so long, it gives me great fear that despite my health neglect, and legal preparations, I don't know when it will actually come to…"
7 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, "I read your words and it brings me to my knees."  I keep asking God to let me go many times a day.  I tell Him/Her/It that I will never relent until my prayer is answered.  I ask my love to keep asking too and have…"
7 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Bluebird for nice comment about my Julian. He was so caring and was my rock. Being with him for 24/7 for 13 years of our retirement was bliss, I thank God for this time together.  Morgan & Joe I keep believing there is eternal love…"
11 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I read your words and it brings me to my knees.  I so want to join my husband.  As the years are passing I feel the need more and more.  I am not sure I understand totally how your OBE has given you more faith that somehow we…"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice…"
12 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, Your Julian looks like such a nice man in that photo; what a lovely smile! Joe, Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are right."
15 hours ago
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life…"
15 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Bluebird, It is impossible for us to know for absolutely sure what exactly happens when we die.  Oh, how I would love her to appear before me and tell me she's here and waiting for me, but I also know that she can't do that…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, I am so glad that the folks on this forum feel the same way I do. Society is always trying to label people, if we don't agree with them they think we are weird or crazy. My sweet Husband Julian taught me to ignore what other people…"
18 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry, I meant Linda and Monty and Joe."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I fully agree with you both, Linda and Monty. My deep and abiding grief is the only response I could possibly have to my husband's death. My soulmate was torn from me, and I don't know if his wonderful soul still exists, or if I will ever…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Daylight India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want.  Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. "
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months…"
yesterday

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