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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 943
Latest Activity: Aug 28, 2018

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

A proof of love 13 Replies

I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?Continue

Started by Toni Jones. Last reply by Christine Jun 3, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Sara on September 12, 2017 at 6:13pm
Hey everyone. My name is sara. So 2 months have passed since i lost my big brother to suicide! My heart is broke. And i dont know how to fix it. It broke before 2012 when i lost both my grandparents in a car accident. Why do these massive trumatic things happen in life. Our family is devistated. Help. X
Comment by Christine Ford on August 22, 2017 at 11:41am

I'm new to the group.  In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her.  I am numb some days.  I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how she died.  Sometimes I think that's how Mom would have wanted it; quick.  She absolutely hated doctors and hospitals.  She was a wonderful grandmother to my children.

Comment by Courtney Boyke on August 12, 2017 at 12:40pm

Hello, Sorry for your loss.

In June my grandmother who was more like my mom than anything also a bestfriend. My family has been staying in her home because the home we were in was just falling apart and my kids were constantly sick from it. Anyways one night after a long day with kids and being outside we were watching a movie with the kids and my grandmother was taking a well needed bath after her day in the garden i noticed that it seamed longer than normal so my husband suggested to check up. when i had walked in i called for her notifying i was walking in like normal. throw the crack in the bathroom door from her bedroom door i saw her face in water... i called to my husband to call 911 and as a CNA i got her out and did CPR. while working on her my husband sets the phone next to me with the dispatcher coaching me and i kept telling her please keep telling me it was helping me focus and idk how long it was my husband said 10min but if felt like longer working on her and when they did arrive i had passed her along to them and they continued for 30min i collapsed after they got her and hooked her up to a hart monitor i couldn't move for awhile until a sheriff came over and helped me up and over the bed to get out. I still blink and close my eyes and see it all over, dreaming is blocked out i don't remember anything but knowing it wasn't good. someone speaks about it i flinch and feel sick. she wasn't unhealthy their was no issues that would make us think she would just go like that. I'm trying my best to be a mother and wife but its hard when i don't always have the ability mentally to do it all the time. I do it don't worry about that i know i can and i do and maybe my kids and husband is just keeping me going but more on things that i have done and know i have to even though i don't feel i have been patient enough

Comment by Jen on August 11, 2017 at 2:36pm
Hi Jennifer, I'm new here, but just wanted to reach out to say I'm very sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner of 12 years at the end of June. He wasn't sick at all. He got up one morning and within 15 minutes stopped breathing. I had to give him cpr for 10 minutes until the ambulance came and they did it for another 10 until they got him back. He never woke up and died in intensive care 2 days later.
I understand the trauma and flashbacks that you are facing, it will ease a little with time. I spent the first month blaming myself that I didn't call the ambulance quick enough or didn't do the cpr properly to bring him back.
I couldn't face my living room I redecorated the whole thing so I would stop seeing him lying on my sofa or floor slipping away from me. I had to make it look different, silly I guess but it has helped me a little.
Try not to focus on the trauma and the specific details of his passing.
Just remember the love you shared and the beautiful family you made together.
My words probably don't help much as I'm pretty much still a mess myself. But sending you big hugs and all the positivity that I can muster. Take care of yourself and your little ones x
Comment by Theresa on August 11, 2017 at 5:44am

Jennifer to add my mom wasn't sick in the hospital, she went in cardiac arrest upon arrival to the hospital and I was on my way I got there immediately after and I have to live with that the rest of my life.

Comment by Theresa on August 11, 2017 at 5:43am

Jennifer, I am in the same situation as you but with my mom, one minute I was talking to her and the next they tell me she is in full cardiac arrest, I remember everything the drs the nurses, the room, the machines, watching them do chest compressions, and then the dr looking at me and saying do you want us to continue this, it awful and then I went into a fog for one year.

Comment by Theresa on June 18, 2017 at 5:19am

It just gets "softer" he will always be in your heart.

I think about my mom every single day and its been 1 1/2 yrs

I call it my new life

Comment by Melissa Malone on June 18, 2017 at 12:55am

Lost my husband April 30th.  I was supposed to go first as I had 2 hospital stays in less than 2 months. Wade found me unresponsive and I ended up on a ventilator in ICU. Wade has almost never been sick. I find him unresponsive and he basically died in route to hospital. I miss him terribly. I feel that my heart is broken and my soul shattered. I can't sleep or eat. I've lost 20 lbs since he passed. Does this pass at some point?

Comment by A. Buyten on May 16, 2017 at 6:48pm

Thank you Jackie!

Good words! Dance! I have been refreshed from my girlfriends sudden passing of 4+ years ago. By the love of my now girlfriend that I have known for 10 years. It is good I am able to carry on. I have never stopped loving my girl that passed. I still cry, I miss her, and feel incomplete in a way. But it has subsided and that is good in the way of feeling less anxiety, so that is easier for me to live a fuller life day to day. So like you said "Dance" and dance when you can. Smiles!

Comment by nicole rae on May 16, 2017 at 2:23pm

in my suicide support group its called "getting used to the new normal" its taking one day at a time. concentrating on one moment at a time is all we can do.

 

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