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Lost My Spouse...

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MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND 116 Replies

Annette was my life. We were married 12 years. No children. Only the two of us. We both suffered from morbid obesity. This led to fluid build up called Edema. We both took care of each other as best…Continue

Started by Richard Rivera. Last reply by Richard Rivera 16 hours ago.

February 2nd 2017... 4 Replies

My husband and I were on our way home from grocery shopping. It was a beautiful warm day in Florida. I never ever would've thought, that day was the last day I'd see my soulmate. I am 28 years old, I…Continue

Started by Krystle. Last reply by S.a.m. on Wednesday.

Lost my husband.. 2 Replies

Having a really bad week. It has only been 4 months now, so I know I will most likely have many more bad weeks. I started a journal today hoping that if I could write down what I'm feeling I might be…Continue

Started by Michelle Lynch. Last reply by Michael Feb 16.

Main Ingredient Missing 5 Replies

I was in the midst of making soup the other day, and I discovered that a major ingredient, tomatoes, was not in my cupboard. I stood there thinking that this is what my life is like - I am missing…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 16.

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Comment by John T. yesterday

Mel and Michael,

While I'm glad I'm not alone in this experience, I sincerely wish we didn't share such memories.  Thanks.

Comment by Mel Royer on Thursday

John....I also recall the moment when my wife passed as any sign of life disappeared from her eyes. I remember being numb and trying to close her eyes, they were half open...I remember thinking that wasn't right..her eyes should be fully closed and I kept trying to shut them but they wouldn't close. Her eyes stared at nothing and somewhere inside I knew I had lost her but would not believe it. I see those eyes every day and am still haunted by the vision but still know she passed painlessly and for that I am comforted.

Comment by Michael on Thursday
John,
I have a similar memory that keeps replaying in my mind. Every day, many times a day. I think we have PTSD.
Comment by John T. on Tuesday

Yesterday was awful.  I have no idea why but I kept having memories of my wife's last moments as I knelt beside her on the sidewalk and tried to perform CPR.  The image of the light fading from her eyes is overwhelming.  Thank God it was peaceful and she was not in pain.  There was no sign of suffering, which is such a profound blessing to me.  However, I've thought of that moment for over two years now, every single day, and can talk to no one about it.  It's a strangely comforting image as well as gut wrenching at the same time.  I don't even know why I'm writing this but there is nowhere else to say what's in my heart and memory.

Comment by Stacey White on Monday

Thanks for the comments.  It is comforting that others understand what we are going through.  Our birthdays are so close, now I am trying to gather the strength for his first birthday no longer on this earth - March 5th.   Trying to decide how to recognize it with respect to my two younger girls.

Comment by Denise on February 18, 2017 at 10:11pm

Stacey, my birthday was on Thursday, the first without my husband who died 8 months ago. Although I have two adult children, I went through a period on Thursday when I too felt alone and missed George terribly. I hope there will come a birthday when I can look back at the 37 birthdays that we shared and be able to be happy and not feel the overwhelming sense of emptiness.

Comment by Michael on February 18, 2017 at 8:24pm
I wish you could have a happy birthday. I hope one day you will again.
Comment by Stacey White on February 18, 2017 at 7:29pm

Well, today is my birthday - the first one without my best friend and husband who passed about 3 months ago.  I have been pretty good until tonight and now starting to wallow in self pity missing him.  I try to be strong in front of our little kids, but good grief it is so hard!  Being without him is just so, so very hard.  I have to get through this....

Comment by John T. on February 18, 2017 at 1:34pm

Last night my sister was talking to me about finally unpacking and fixing up the place where I live a little.  I just listened.  I don't want to unpack all the memories right now and there are two boxes marked "Christmas" I may never open.  Nothing really seems to matter and nothing seems permanent.  Why bother?  On top of that, I just learned there are tax issues with the tiny estate that was left behind and I may be making payments to the IRS for the rest of my life.  As if I had some sort of fortune at my disposal.  My only comfort is I could die tomorrow and all of this would be even more profoundly meaningless than it is today.  Try saying that to an IRS agent, a CPA, or lawyer and watch how they react.  No one can comprehend my feelings.  It's as if such loss is something that will never happen to them and I'm a threat to the fragile bubble of denial in which they obliviously exist.   

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 15, 2017 at 6:52am

Anne,

You said it perfectly.

 

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Shari Blough shared a profile on Facebook
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kim posted a blog post

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   momSee More
1 hour ago
Louise posted a blog post

The "How Are You?" Question

One of my friends (who hasn't contacted me for weeks) sent me a cutesy picture of a cat and a message which asked "how are you?". Cat picture aside, I am tired of this question, particularly when I feel the person asking it just wants to hear I am feeling better. As if that is possible for me five months after my husband's suicide. After I lost the love of my life, my joy and my happiness.I don't know how to answer the how are you question anymore, but I will be damned if I'm going to put on a…See More
1 hour ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Debbie I am so sorry for the lost of your Mom.  Just know she was just as important to us as we were to her. Rita I don't have advise.  My mother shut down in 2008 when my dad passed away, til this day she has not been able to offer…"
1 hour ago
Rhea updated their profile
5 hours ago
Rhea joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to berlin auger's discussion what do I do?
"Berlin I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom on Valentines day 2017. I too dream about her, and when I wake up, it really hurts that she is not here. I had a different relationship with my Mom than you did. I was her caregiver and her…"
14 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Well said thank you for the advice. But guilt is the hardest thing to let go. I can't seem to shake it. I still think over and over I could've done more, should've done more. right now I'm actually going to hopefully get help…"
16 hours ago
Profile IconRhea, Becky, Qasim and 17 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Olive! I hate that you're having to get through this day alone. You should absolutely talk about your dad. You're a whole person, not split in half with two separate losses. I wish we could sit and share a…"
16 hours ago
morgan replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, I understand your feelings.  If only we could have had more time with our loved ones.   If only something had been different.  It doesn't seem to matter if they died in front of us or in a horrible accident.  Bottom…"
17 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy,  I wish we could go out to eat tonight in honor of my mom, but my husband works nights and my dear dad passed on February 4 (I didn't know if I should mention that in here because the group is about moms).  Your experience…"
17 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Olive. I am certain she feels your love! I am always praying and asking The Lord to tell my mom how much I love and miss her, and even to give her a hug and kiss from me. You can be sure he will pass everything on to your sweet mother. On my…"
18 hours ago
BLUEBELL left a comment for PC Schmidt
"I am sorry for the loss of your Mom. Mine passed away on Valentines Day. I too was her caregiver. I wish we we not here grieving for our loved one. But we are. Let us support one another. Bluebell"
19 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Dennis, First of all, I want to thank you for replying to my comments. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and how they parallel with mine. It does help me sort through what all I am grieving. As the caregiver, a daughter, a sister and a…"
19 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, I am okay right now which I am grateful for. Olive, My thoughts are with you on this difficult day. Theresa, Talking does help and I thank you for your support. I am feeling my way through it minute by minute, hour by hour and day by…"
20 hours ago
Maxey commented on Elizabeth skelsey's blog post 4 Years and i still cry.
"I wish I could say it gets better, Elizabeth. You have gone through four years, and I have only gone through 16 months, so I can only think that my life will never hold any joy or happiness again. No, it is not health, but how can we make our…"
21 hours ago
Maxey commented on Maxey's blog post Reason for Living
"Thanks for sharing, Bluebird. The poem, unfortunately, says it all! My life has no meaning. I did think love would last forever, and I never even contemplated a life without my husband. I many times think that the end of my life should not be so…"
21 hours ago
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't help but think the same thing, that it's no coincidence. my only problem is that I'm still separated from Annette and it's just killing me inside. I still scream at night. The nightmares just keep coming and it's…"
22 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy, Theresa, and Bluebell, Please know you are all in my prayers.  Today would have been my sweet mom's 75th birthday, so it is a very hard day.  I know she is rejoicing in heaven, but I can't help but be selfish and wish…"
23 hours ago

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