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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 368
Latest Activity: Feb 12

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Lost my wife 16 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Ellis Gee Dec 28, 2019.

My Love

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West Dec 28, 2019.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

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Comment by Nancy on February 12, 2020 at 6:59am

I love that explanation Linda!!!

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 12, 2020 at 6:25am

Comment by morgan on February 11, 2020 at 3:47pm

Jen,  I agree. I would hate to waste all this suffering if it screws up my transit and reunion with the other half of my soul but how much is one person supposed to endure?  I am a blinkered mess. I look like I function to others as I have gotten better at pushing myself but there is NO joy, no happiness and only pain when I think about my love and his for me.  I am SO tired of being in pain.  And I don't mean necessarily my physical pain which I have from the stress of the grief.  I mean the mental/emotional pain of getting so little relief from missing him.  I can push it off periodically but it always comes back and punches me in the gut and then I have a breakdown and even though it relieves some of the pressure that builds it doesn't make me feel any better.  I am tired of having to make do all on my own.  Just extremely tired.  And I know all of you get it.  Our minds simply never stray far from what real living was like........the times we cherished with our soulmate.......

morgan

Comment by JenShep on February 11, 2020 at 12:43pm

I feel the same way Linda. But, I've had so many experiences that make me pretty sure there is one. I'm afraid to have wasted all of this suffering for nothing. If there is an afterlife/reincarnation, to kill myself now will mean I'll have to learn the lesson in another life since I didn't learn it in this one. There's no way I can do this again. So, like most of you, I just pray that I get to go soon. 

Comment by Joe Kelly on February 11, 2020 at 10:13am

I think I'm going down hill and very hopeful that it won't be too long now.

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 11, 2020 at 5:28am

Hi Morgan,

I know how you feel. Day after day without my Husband, I wake up every morning and hate that I am still alive. If I was given real proof there is no afterlife, I would do away with myself. 

Comment by morgan on February 10, 2020 at 11:48pm

I don't want to live without him anymore.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 3, 2020 at 6:25am

Joe,

I pray there is an afterlife. My Father always said when your dead your dead and he was one smart man. 

Comment by Joe Kelly on February 2, 2020 at 1:55pm

Linda,

YOU WILL SEE JULIAN AGAIN!

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 1, 2020 at 2:14pm

Thanks Lisa & Michele for your comments. Beside the wonderful friends on the site, the only other person I can share what I feel is with my Wonderful and Caring Psychiatrist Dr. C. I have been seeing her once a month since my Husband died 7 years ago. Because of her I have been able to function in a world where I don't belong. Like you Morgan I am just waiting to be taken from this horror. Having my sweet girl Babie J by my side has been a Godsend. She now is on hospice due to Cushings  and Dementia. She is getting the best quality of life but is slowly declining. It is like watching Julian when he approached death. I don't know how I am going to deal with her death, as Dr. C said it will hurt as much as losing my Husband. Like you said Morgan all we can do is hope to be taken from this life soon. 

 

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Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal.  I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong.  I can't prove my OBE either.  All I can do is share it.  Your original post…"
6 minutes ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
13 hours ago
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
13 hours ago
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
14 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
15 hours ago
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
16 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
17 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
17 hours ago
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
17 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
19 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, Time to go to cemetery but will reply later today."
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, I wish I had your faith/assurance that there is an afterlife in which we will be reunited with our loves. I so hope that you are right about that. I think it would make this a tiny bit easier for me if I knew beyond any doubt that my husband…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I read and log on and many times I just freeze up.  It's over two years and I should be with her already and though I don't think it will be too much longer, every minute of every waking and sometimes sleeping moment is a…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
yesterday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Sorry to see your stories here...  There is nothing worse.   I will be at 4 years in June.  After a while at least for me, the acute pain just became dull pain.  I have heard that grief is love turned inside out.  No…"
yesterday
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you bluebird for always encapsulating the horror movie we live in in a way that is gentle but firm.  I can only nod my head in agreement with each of the points you made because I am so exhausted by trying to explain this widowing to…"
yesterday
bluebird and Martee are now friends
Tuesday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me. That…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch. That's what I…"
Tuesday

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