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Lost My Spouse...

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I really hate this new life 19 Replies

Why can't we all just wake up in the morning and realize that this was just a dream and our loved ones are laying beside us? Can't stand the holidays now, She made the holidays special. We was…Continue

Started by Kevin Bailey. Last reply by Kevin Bailey 3 hours ago.

No one seems to remember 6 Replies

Stay social, they say.  Keep in touch with your "support". Don't let others tell you what to    say or think.   Sounds great, and sometimes it actually works. Tonight I went out to hopefully see…Continue

Started by Kathleen Jordan. Last reply by Kathleen Jordan yesterday.

MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND 179 Replies

Annette was my life. We were married 12 years. No children. Only the two of us. We both suffered from morbid obesity. This led to fluid build up called Edema. We both took care of each other as best…Continue

Started by Richard Rivera. Last reply by bluebird yesterday.

Choosing someone 9 Replies

As much as I truly and dearly love my kids, there's just something very , very different about the relationship we have with our spouses whom We choose out of everyone in this world to love, honor…Continue

Started by Kevin Bailey. Last reply by Maxey yesterday.

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Comment by Crystal yesterday
I've been heartbroken before, I've been through a painful divorce, my daughter moving out to be with her dad, my parents divorced, 3 surgeries and nothing hurts like the loss of spouse . Nothing. All that other stuff roled up together doesn't even compare. The loneliness. It's terrible.
Comment by Kathleen Jordan yesterday

Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have had to move in with me until the mold is out of their trailer.   they tried to go  back the other day and it really hurt.  It felt like I lost him all  over again.  normal doesn't seem to be normal yet.

Comment by Crystal yesterday
I just lost my spouse March 17th. A little over a month. It still feels surreal. I am still on meds so I'm not sure if I'm numb or in denial. People keep saying I am taking it so well. Well, they don't see what goes on when I go home. I wander around looking for things to do. I feel lost in my own space. I adopted a 2 month old puppy this week, thinking it would help my dog who was very depressed over my husbands passing, as they have spent the last 3 years together, all day, every day, as his cancer kept him from working. The puppy did help. I see a spark in my dogs eyes I hadn't seen in weeks. Which makes me feel accomplished. And ithink it'll make me feel better too, now that I have something to come home to to take care of, as my oldr dogs are very self sufficient and I have a 15 year old son
I just feel like the other shoes gonna drop and I'm gonna lose my mind. Cause I am coping ok, but I feel like it's going to get much worse.
I had to do electrical hook up stuff today and it made me miss my hisband uncontrollably, since he was so tech savvy. But I refused to ask for help, as I need to learn to do these things on my own.
The new normal
Sucks.
Comment by Jerry yesterday
Here in the central midwest to a formally known as a beautiful spring weekend. My wife a couldn't get to thus season fast enough, now 12 Saturday's ago I knew I dread this weather. Soooo painful to continue as a spectator of this now, CRAP world I am in, hate it, just hate it. Only 53 yrs old' and couldn't give a damn about tomorrows. Rain,Shine,Snow,Sleet,Day,Night,...it's all hell now, consider it our "normal"
Comment by Jackie cooke on April 16, 2017 at 6:47am
I can't see any point in anything, I have never been alone, I was with my partner from the age of 16 and I'm now 51. There's no money to speak off and paying the bills is scary. I feel for you bonnie I really do, I to keep feeding the birds as it's something we were both passionate about, but there is no joy in it now. If i hadn't got my dog and cat to care for i would have made sure I left here to go with my love, but there is no one else to care for,them. So I just go through the motions like a robot day after day with no end of this torture in site
Comment by Bonnie Gould on April 16, 2017 at 5:27am

I'm trying to find something of beauty left in life - maybe a cardinal at my bird feeder or the sunset beyond the trees as I feed the dogs on the porch at night. Those small moments are what I'm counting on to help me hang on to life. My husband died just over 3 weeks ago after a 3 month battle with brain cancer. For 3 months he'd been unable to walk, see much, and think completely rationally. I could take care of him then, but now..... I feel like a kid whose parents have just died and has been thrown out into the world to raise themselves. I feel adrift, alone, and scared about the future. Although all the platitudes that people say haven't helped, I'm hoping that in the future my faith may return so that I feel some hope and comfort.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 9:06am
I had the Saturday morning normal, just doing normal things, then my world ended . How come rapist and murders and child abusers stay living
Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 8:30am
I was just thinking the same, this time 5 week ago was a normal mundane Friday, usual boring jobs, nothing exciting, oh how I want it all back
Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 8:29am
I'm sitting here alone wishing I could get sick, how wrong is that, but I just don't want to carry on
Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 2:28am
I know Jerry, we have a huge garden and spent hours together working in it, our green house sinful, of all our plans for this year, baskets waiting to be filled. I got no interest now.

Comments I have recieved, least you got summer coming up! Least it's light nights. Neither of these th it's help me at all. It's 5 weeks tomorrow since my life ended and everyday is worse than the first
 

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Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa I am hanging in there. The last couple of days have been tearful. I am so grateful I have this group to talk with and my sister to cry with. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is feeling so alone. It was 2 months April 14th since…"
1 hour ago
Kevin Bailey replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion I really hate this new life in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin I feel the same way, I just feel a little comfort being surrounded by her pictures but I can't really look at them for too long because I just wanna go back to that time. My grief is apart of me, it's a wound that will never heal or…"
3 hours ago
cin po joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
4 hours ago
cin po commented on Nora's blog post A New Look at the 7 Emotional States of Loss By Dr. Natasha Josefowitz
"I recently lost my partner. I thought I was okay. Then I realized I am not. I feel lonely. I feel sad especially when my partner's brother felt entitled to our savings which was in my partner's bank account. My partner did not leave a Will…"
4 hours ago
rhonda jean commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm in the same boat as you Theresa. My moms 2 yr anniversary was the 15th. Easter was hard! I agree the first year is a fog, and the second one is harder in a different way - it seems so much more real and permanent. Finding ways to carry on…"
5 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, thank you so much, I had to do the same thing 17 years ago when my dad died. I hope you are hanging in there, it takes time.  Like I said before the first year after my mom passed, I was in a haze, I just couldn't see through the…"
6 hours ago
Jackie cooke replied to morgan's discussion Loss and Attachment
"Himmorgan, I have just found and read this am I in bits, it's 6 weeks since my world came to an end and I still finding it hard to just keep breathing everyday let alone function as a person. I to have no children, I don't really have…"
8 hours ago
Tanya and sweetbug are now friends
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa I think it was an excellent idea to get a medication that will make you more comfortable. Anxiety is tough to deal with. I am glad it is already helping you. Take care, Bluebell"
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, yes I do go to a bereavement class at our church once a month. Yes I do agree being around others does help  "
16 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks for checking in on us, Theresa. Easter and the two year mark of my mom's passing were within two days of each other, so it was tough, especially Easter Day, which I was mostly alone for. The rest of the time I was with my husband and…"
17 hours ago
morgan commented on Jane's blog post just want to die
"Count me in...I cannot find any reason to live.  I have gotten much better at functioning.  But reason?  Nope.  I am simply going through the motions.  There are still nuclear moments mostly lasting anywhere from five…"
21 hours ago
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Creating a MENTAL SPACE perfect to HEAL
21 hours ago
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Creating a MENTAL SPACE perfect to HEAL
21 hours ago
silvia maria posted blog posts
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Mike posted a blog post

From the Heart

What does success in coping with death mean to you? Does it mean you can now walk your dog through the neighborhood and actually look up and smile as people go by?  Does it mean you went and bought flowers for the oak barrel that has been neglected for the past year? Does it mean you made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in God knows how long?  Or did you just go for a ride without crying or talk to your kids about something stupid and inconsequential?      There are no secret answers…See More
yesterday
Jane commented on Jane's blog post just want to die
"me too Maxey, I have one brother who would miss me, and that would be it.  If it weren't for him, I'd probably kill myself... but my mother was strong until she passed 2 years ago :( She never killed herself despite all the loss she…"
yesterday
Kathleen Jordan replied to Kathleen Jordan's discussion No one seems to remember in the group Lost My Spouse...
"And now I am trying to get my folks to move in with me. They are staying here because  their house got contaminated with mold. I thank my hunny because the house is already set up for them because of him,and it has been helpful to me to call…"
yesterday
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've been heartbroken before, I've been through a painful divorce, my daughter moving out to be with her dad, my parents divorced, 3 surgeries and nothing hurts like the loss of spouse . Nothing. All that other stuff roled up together…"
yesterday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have…"
yesterday

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