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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by dream moon JO B on December 10, 2013 at 3:58pm

we hav gt no tree ths yr dolly coz lst yr or cat puled it ovr it brke i no she dnt mean 2 do it wev jst gt singng toys ot insted evn thru we dnt feal lk selbratng xmas again ths yr coz my dad not bean hear again his bday bean on 26th dec dnt hlp eitr ths is 2nd 1 wear his not hear

Comment by anne on November 6, 2013 at 7:46pm

Through the years I have seen a lot of death. I held a friend of mines hand while she was dying of cancer, and I promised I would hold her hand until the end, and I did. I watched how her family got to tell her how much they loved her, and how they would miss her so much. I always felt cheated that I didn't get to hold my little boy in my arms, and tell him how much I loved him. Instead I had to hold my beautiful child in a body bag, and never got to see his wonderful face. He was burned so they wouldn't let me see him. I'm still not sure what would've been worse. It all happened so fast. Then when my son Ben was killed it too happened so fast that once again I didn't get to say all the things I would've liked too. Not having that special time with either of them has left me feeling ripped off, and hard to believe it happened.

The grief time was less with my Ben, I think it might've been because I did get to hold him in my arms, and I did get to see his face, or maybe because I had already been through it once before. I don't honestly know. I do wonder how different it might've been had I had the chance to know ahead of time. I do know however that if I couldn't write down all the awful feelings, pain, and sorrow that has become my life, I don't think I would've survived any of it. I do know that when a loved one is very sick, and dying that you get a heck of a lot more time to prepare for death, but are we ever really prepared for death?

Comment by dream moon JO B on November 6, 2013 at 3:21pm

i feal lk u danny i do i dnt thnk i wud loze so many after my dad died family frinds nboz 

if i had not fnd ths web site i dnt no wot i wud of dun it least on hear i can vent it dont mater if u cnt spell it least we can say how we feal say how hrt we ar we can

jo

Comment by Danny on November 6, 2013 at 8:03am

I feel sudden can be traumatic and add a lot of time to the grief process what do you guys feel ?

 

Comment by Danny on September 21, 2013 at 3:06pm

Sorry Kali. Hang in there.

Comment by Kali Grainger on September 21, 2013 at 1:10pm
Haven't been on here for quite awhile... my fiance Chris (28) was killed in a work accident 15mo (6/25/2012) ago when our daughter was only 4mo old. So now I am a 28yr old "widowed" solo mom with a broken heart that I don't think will ever mend... days aren't as bad as they were in the beginning but the bad ones do come out of nowhere.
Comment by Danny on September 21, 2013 at 2:10am

Yes Debra put him on the passenger seat and talk.  I put him on the sofa and talk as well; yes writing a journal is also good but I am not there yet.  So imagine it is all still as before at least for part of the day/week.  You have done well to stay calm.

Comment by Missy N. on September 20, 2013 at 9:05pm

Thanks Debra

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on September 20, 2013 at 5:21pm

Missy N., I am sorry for your loss.  I hope you find help and comfort here.  This is a good group and it has helped me.

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on September 20, 2013 at 5:20pm

Hi Danny,

Sorry for your loss.  I do cry when I need to.  I visit Dad's grave every couple weeks and talk to him.  My cousin told me to put Dad in the passenger seat of the car and talk with him.  Sometimes when I travel roads that we used to together I feel very calm and peaceful.  I believe Dad is with me at those times.  Take care.

 

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