"its been 2 years and a bit but so hard to take steps forward. i have managed somehow with a lot of problems but that special bond...taking it month t month even noow so bless you all. it never goes away but the pan had taken its own path"
"charity wolf and others no the pain does not go away ever ever. i have bee in touch with martha since 2 years and waht she says is one way to look at it ie we may need to conduct ourselves and take the steps until God calls. The first few…"
"Ya its been two years for me and the pain is very much there and i am so nervous as i try and avoid big decisions until i feel ready to take them as i did everything after taking a perspective from my parent. Have had to make one big one but…"
"good to see martha here after a while. As for the grief it is going to be there and i am trying to live with it. i have done some things to keep myself sane but l tell you its been two years now and regularly engage in a dialogue as i know we…"
Are you a math major? I noticed a couple comments with math references (infinite numbers between zero and one, and another regarding your math prof).
The reason I ask is that my son is a math major (along with computer engineering). Math is his one true love. He will be a senior at university this year then going on to his phd in mathematics. His focus will be a very specific area of number theory.
You don't run in to high level mathematicians every day, so I thought I'd ask.
I hope you are getting through the day okay today. Losing my mother has been devastating for both me and my son. My son deals with it by throwing himself into his research. I just take it day by day.
Hi,Danny ,sorry about your loss.It was my mom's 1st death anniversary on 2nd March.You are right, there will be no history of the month in the previous year.It shatters me to realize this.What do I do now?
Thank you for your comment and concern Danny. Yes, it has been very difficult to digest this loss, but moving back to the old neighborhood? I have more friends now Here than I ever did back in the "old neighborhood". I have more support, I now have a church family, the grief support group family, and I've bonded with many of my neighbors here more so than before. It's been a year of firsts....first time his birthday passed without him in April, first time my birthday passed without him, all the activities we used to do yearly like going to fairs and festivals and theme parks and the beach trips. Dreading the holidays, but that's what my new group is helping with. New Year's Eve will be the worst, because that was our Anniversary. So far I've learned to make my own new traditions, my sister is treating me to a Carnival Cruise Thanksgiving week (next week!), and will be with me for 3 weeks during Christmas and New Year's. 2 years ago he gave me an exclusive oil portrait of Princess Merida...he said it was to "make me Brave". I had no idea how Brave I would have to be. God is telling me he wants me to be happy and live my life. It's not easy, certainly not pleasant, but I'm getting through it. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and none of us is promised a Tomorrow. Live for today. That was my beloved's motto. I have to move on to honor his memory. There was even more sadness this September....I had to have our beloved 14-year-old dog Daisy put to sleep. Besides her illness, I truly believe she was dying of a broken heart because Daddy never came home again (and she was a Daddy's girl.) I just hope 2015 is a better year. For all of us in this grief community....I wish everyone Peace in your heart.
Thanks Danny for adding me as a friend. You are right the cycle of good and bad days will probably continue. Think the trick is learning to maximize output during the good days and minimize collateral damage during the bad ones.
Danny, Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss. That anchor and unconditional support is alot to lose. How is it possible for us to recover from all this? My heart aches to know how many out there hurt as much as I do. And I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone. I'm so fortunate to have stumbled upon this site. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done by now. I send you tight hugs from across the world.
"It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights,…"
"Bluebell, being a hospice nurse has to be tough
I think you are right because of your own experience you will be stronger than you think.
I am off today and I am going to run errands it helps to occupy my mind, but not completely.
"I just read the recent posts and wanted to say how only this evening I was thanking the universe that we humans are mortal. Whether it takes another 30 years (and like Jackie the thought of another 30 years terrifies me and saddens me beyond words)…"
"Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was…"
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.
This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3 whole days of coherence. But, I seriously did appreciate it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania
You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone
Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now.
Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one
I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"