"its been 2 years and a bit but so hard to take steps forward. i have managed somehow with a lot of problems but that special bond...taking it month t month even noow so bless you all. it never goes away but the pan had taken its own path"
"charity wolf and others no the pain does not go away ever ever. i have bee in touch with martha since 2 years and waht she says is one way to look at it ie we may need to conduct ourselves and take the steps until God calls. The first few…"
"Ya its been two years for me and the pain is very much there and i am so nervous as i try and avoid big decisions until i feel ready to take them as i did everything after taking a perspective from my parent. Have had to make one big one but…"
"good to see martha here after a while. As for the grief it is going to be there and i am trying to live with it. i have done some things to keep myself sane but l tell you its been two years now and regularly engage in a dialogue as i know we…"
Are you a math major? I noticed a couple comments with math references (infinite numbers between zero and one, and another regarding your math prof).
The reason I ask is that my son is a math major (along with computer engineering). Math is his one true love. He will be a senior at university this year then going on to his phd in mathematics. His focus will be a very specific area of number theory.
You don't run in to high level mathematicians every day, so I thought I'd ask.
I hope you are getting through the day okay today. Losing my mother has been devastating for both me and my son. My son deals with it by throwing himself into his research. I just take it day by day.
Hi,Danny ,sorry about your loss.It was my mom's 1st death anniversary on 2nd March.You are right, there will be no history of the month in the previous year.It shatters me to realize this.What do I do now?
Thank you for your comment and concern Danny. Yes, it has been very difficult to digest this loss, but moving back to the old neighborhood? I have more friends now Here than I ever did back in the "old neighborhood". I have more support, I now have a church family, the grief support group family, and I've bonded with many of my neighbors here more so than before. It's been a year of firsts....first time his birthday passed without him in April, first time my birthday passed without him, all the activities we used to do yearly like going to fairs and festivals and theme parks and the beach trips. Dreading the holidays, but that's what my new group is helping with. New Year's Eve will be the worst, because that was our Anniversary. So far I've learned to make my own new traditions, my sister is treating me to a Carnival Cruise Thanksgiving week (next week!), and will be with me for 3 weeks during Christmas and New Year's. 2 years ago he gave me an exclusive oil portrait of Princess Merida...he said it was to "make me Brave". I had no idea how Brave I would have to be. God is telling me he wants me to be happy and live my life. It's not easy, certainly not pleasant, but I'm getting through it. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and none of us is promised a Tomorrow. Live for today. That was my beloved's motto. I have to move on to honor his memory. There was even more sadness this September....I had to have our beloved 14-year-old dog Daisy put to sleep. Besides her illness, I truly believe she was dying of a broken heart because Daddy never came home again (and she was a Daddy's girl.) I just hope 2015 is a better year. For all of us in this grief community....I wish everyone Peace in your heart.
Thanks Danny for adding me as a friend. You are right the cycle of good and bad days will probably continue. Think the trick is learning to maximize output during the good days and minimize collateral damage during the bad ones.
Danny, Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss. That anchor and unconditional support is alot to lose. How is it possible for us to recover from all this? My heart aches to know how many out there hurt as much as I do. And I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone. I'm so fortunate to have stumbled upon this site. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done by now. I send you tight hugs from across the world.
"It will soon be four years since I lost my mom and today the grief is worse than ever ... I wonder will it ever go away ... and do I even want it to go? I don't mind the constant sadness, but it often becomes so overwhelming in it's…"
"I got back from the hospital. I checked in and I was there for several hours. the results came back and the doctor told me that chest x-ray came clean and that my bloodwork is normal. Also my EKG also showed no abnormalities. in short, I am a…"
"Nancy, grieving is hard work because at some point you have to pick yourself up. So your emotions go up and down. Thankfully between my daughter and work, I'm busy. That helps otherwise I would be a mess. The finality of…"
"Theresa, YES!! I almost forgot about this but I used to do the same thing. We would be out for dinner and I'd see a daughter with her elderly mother, and I just kept looking at them thinking how lucky she was to still have her mom. Looking…"
"Thank you Nancy yes I wished that we lived closer also it would be great to talk with you
Bluebell, it took me sometime to go shopping, mostly because of panic and anxiety attacks that take over, but I did and still do the same thing I would look at…"
I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post. Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other. Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim
I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.
I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me. shawn is the love of my life. my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness. im so very…"
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do
I have not had a dream about her yet
To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"