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Comment by Dreama on August 17, 2014 at 9:46am

I DO have a book that I wrote if anyone is interested I have it on audio as well called "I Miss My Daddy" at Amazon. My dad told me to "keep helping people" when he passed so I wrote the book. If anyone is interested feel free to message me I have codes you can use to get it for free for those who can't purchase it but the codes are limited I think I have like 19 of em left. I didn't write it to make money so I don't mind giving it away. 

Comment by Danny on August 16, 2014 at 7:12pm

I agree with Lynn that the grief books at the local library helped me a lot and more than even a support group in a way I have acted as my own counselor to some extent. 

Comment by charles daley on August 16, 2014 at 3:29pm

thank for you lynn  for your comment i'm sorry for your loss what you said is right i'm the type of person that keeps everything inside. i know that will make it worse but i have nobody to talk to i'm alone angry guilty not at them for passing on but at myself for not doing enough for saving them.all i know i can't live without them all i want to do is be with them but i take the easy way out i been killing myself for the last 5 years when my wife got sick and now my mom passed away 5 months ago on the same date i just can't let go because if i do let go i feel i let them down if that makes any sense.all i know inside me is this as a husband and son and a caregiver i let them down

Comment by Lynn Boyd on August 16, 2014 at 8:41am

I'm so sorry, Charles, the pain of losing a loved one is profound.  I would rather endured ANY kind of physical pain than this emotional pain since losing my husband only weeks after our 25th anniversary.  What I can tell you is you are not "crying for no reason", you are crying for the love you felt for them, and the more you cry underlines how much you loved them.  You will not always feel this way.  I know that's hard to understand, I was told the same thing and didn't believe it then.  I do believe it now.  Treasure your memories, find ways to memorialize them and keep their spirits alive in your heart.  You need to cry and vent your anger.  Go to a private place (even inside your car) and cry as hard as you can.  Scream.  You can't keep your grief bottled up inside you, it will make it all so worse.  You will never, ever "get over" your losses, but you must, and will, get "through" them.  Do you think your loved ones would want you to forever grieve and destroy your own happiness while you are still alive?  I think not.  Just try to be good to yourself, don't feel guilty if something makes you smile or laugh, and most of all KEEP LIVING, if only to keep them alive in your heart and memory.  It will take time...so give it time.  But go ahead and cry all you need to. Even screaming and yelling at God is a kind of prayer, and He is still listening to you.  Don't try to find "reason", because there is none.  Find a support group or go to your local library and find the books on grief....there are many and they have helped me immensely.  God Bless You....Namaste.

Comment by charles daley on August 15, 2014 at 8:04pm

i need some advise i really miss my wife and mom so much there are times i want to end this but i can't go that way i cry for no reason there is so much anger and guilt inside me i don't what to do i'm really lost without them i have nothing left to give

Comment by Danny on August 8, 2014 at 6:08am

Getting help right now for post traumatic stress disorder may help.  'Sudden' is very hard be it a child or parent or other.

Comment by Rachel on August 8, 2014 at 2:30am

Here comes another sleepless night.
Here comes the pain.
Wishing things had never changed.
Wishing she was right here in my arms.

I can hear her say "I love you Mom" like it was yesterday.

Here comes the FIGHT of giving into the pain.. Holding back the tears.

Why? Why so young?

Comment by Karen B on August 7, 2014 at 3:36pm

Im new here.I lost my Dad last Oct 2013 suddenly while he was out biking..he had a heart attack or something like that..he did had a heart bypass in 2008 and he had saw the dr. not long before he passed away and he was fine..then he was gone..it's been hard..he had started a business in 1996 and it's still going..both my brother and I work there so that also makes it tough some days.

Comment by Rachel on August 7, 2014 at 12:30pm

Its so hard to be anywhere.  Mostly at work. My co-workers are talking about their children and grand children.  And it just breaks my heart.  I have to excuse myself.  How are we suppose to react?  How are we to deal with that?  I hurt, I hurt so bad.  This is worsse then actual physical pain.  I'm amazed how freinds seem to distance themselves.  I feel so lost.  I don't know what to do or where to go from here? I miss my child so much. I don't see how anyone can go on feeling this way.  Of of yall are the BRAVEST people I have ever met.

Comment by Sigrid on August 4, 2014 at 12:14am

Hi everyone, I'm a newbie here and just trying to figure things out. On August 8, 2013, my husband and son were killed together in a car accident. My son was 16 and very much looking forward to a drive in his grandpa's restored Mustang. While visiting his parents, my husband and son went out with my father-in-law for a drive. They were rear-ended by a young woman when my son slowed to make a left-hand turn and were killed instantly. My father-in-law survived, but with serious facial injuries. The accident report has stated that my son was driving correctly, and so was not at fault. The other driver will be charged with two counts of careless driving causing death, but we are waiting for her to be found by the police so that she can be charged. It is heartbreaking that this is being dragged out. Thankfully, my daughter is still with me. We are doing 'ok'. Outwardly I am very composed, but no one sees me freaking out in the privacy of my own home. I am thought to be a very 'tough' person and am commended for it, but it is killing me. I am very scared that this desperation won't end. Does it really get any easier?

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