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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

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Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 11, 2012 at 2:59am

My therapist has asked me those questions as well. For me, I know my mom would want me to be happy, that's all she ever wanted for me, and I too want to enjoy life but I just can't seem too..the emptiness and loneliness is just too much for me. At first I thought I was holding onto it because I didn't want to forget the memories and how much she meant to me, and I felt guilty as well for not crying all the time..it flip flops though for me, like a freakin rollercoaster. One minute I feel like I can breathe again, and then the next minute, I'm in despair! But you're right, I feel like there are no answers at there!

Comment by Kali Grainger on September 10, 2012 at 10:56pm

Kitty, I ask the same questions... If I don't cry all day I feel guilty.  If I didn't have my baby girl I would likely spend all day in bed crying but because of her I have to get up and keep going. But I don't want to hurt his feelings...

Comment by Kitty Peine on September 10, 2012 at 8:47am

I should have added that my therapist said I could take the happy memories with instead of the pain. Life would be a lot more pleasant wouldn't it.

that is something else i have to work on. :)

Comment by Kitty Peine on September 10, 2012 at 8:41am

I am close to my mom as well. I can't imagine not having her to talk to. I am so sorry for your loss.

It comes to mind, we really have no answers for each other. We can only listen/read, empathize, support and share our thoughts and experiences. But there really are no answers, are there.

My latest thought on my grief is....am I hanging on to the pain of the grief because:

1) that's all I have left?

2) if I don't hurt for him, am I discounting him?

3) if I don't hurt for him, am I disrespecting him?

4) if I don't hurt for him, will I forget him?

The only person that has these answers is me. I think I am going to be awhile working this one out.

It is all a journey.

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 9, 2012 at 6:51pm

It's easy to take care of others and give everybody else advice but I find it very hard to listen to my own advice. I contacted a medium not to long ago, couldn't tell me much, just that she was happy and at peace. I already believed that before I contacted him and I thought that I would feel 100% better after that but I don't..I still hurt tremendessly!

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 9, 2012 at 5:58pm

i lost my granmother weni woz a tean an d tht woz painfull  2 u sound like me to mush human fealing i went on line to find a sycic i got 2 jenna and a nother 1 who dose a free reading cudent get my dad to cumt hru what i wanted just said i hav to be carfull this month i l be in voled in a acsentend thats all i nead to har me bean acsebent prone and iv got to take beter care of my health i no i tell other people to take care of thm selfs and i foget to take care of my self coz im to busyey of thinging of others my dad used to say thng of yore self for a change jo but i like to thng off others as welll

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 9, 2012 at 4:06pm

Exactly, I mean it's not like I want to talk about her 24/7 but sometimes I would like to, and I would rather it be good memories. Some people will never understand!! Losing my grandfather when I was 10 was rough, I was super close to him, but losing my mom has been the most painful experience in my life!

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 9, 2012 at 3:35pm

its best 2 tark abot the best tims jennifer coz the bad memeriys haunt u and death dose mess with evry1 it makes it worse on my dads side coz its sush a big family that u get sic of going to funrells my mum is as bad as i am still stuck at the 1st wall i no the 1st yer or 2 is the worse 

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 8, 2012 at 9:08pm

Kitty, I know, I shouldn't take it personally but it just hurts because I enjoy talking about the good times because if I don't, then I'm haunted by the memories of her in the hospital going through so much pain. I know they love me and everything, and you're right Death messes with everyone! I'm not in denial anymore, nor do I bargain, but I'm having trouble getting out of the depression/anger stage..it makes it harder when you have complicated grief!

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 7, 2012 at 3:52pm

but i no ther is a load of other tests u can find on line i no thats 1 of them and hears is another ( whish stage of grief are u) fogive me for the bad spelling  

 

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