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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Hilary Christene on December 24, 2015 at 2:32am

It's been a hard day today, Jo. Lots of tears today. It's Christmas Eve now and everyone is rushing to get to their people. I guess maybe I am doing that too.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 23, 2015 at 3:17pm

2 day is 1 of thm stress 1

im br ok en i am so b r o k e n i am so mush loss in 1 go so mush bad thngs go on its nt slf pity 

if im rantin on2 mush im sorry or if iv upset any 1 im sorry

dnt no if it xmas om fryday gt me in way i am 2 day or 2 mush ba thng goin on 2

i wish i cud buy my dad lots of candy coz he luvd swets thngs i wish i cud snd thm all a crd so on

why did god pusnh me letin mum egt demsa why her why did i get punsh coz of so mush loss

i sea merry cmasxmas mery xmas daddy or anti i cnt evn by coz thy not hear 

im cryin im fed up im so sad mad so on

Comment by Hilary Christene on December 13, 2015 at 11:57am

Day 115 today. D's pajamas are set on his side of the bed, with the lavender neck roll pillow I got for him. I loved seeing my big strong man snuggle and sleep with his lavender pillow. God what a big, happy, sweet bear. He always wore a watch, and would have a red handkerchief poking out of his back jeans pocket. These are folded and placed at his bed stand, and these memorial items receive my kiss for him at night.

His shaving things and toothbrush are on the bathroom counter.

When I was ten years old, I accidentally got my finger stuck between the prongs of a plug and a wall outlet. I remember how the painful shock of the electrical charge threw me backwards to the opposite wall of the room.

This reminds me of that full body spasm of pain, like electrocution, but it's ongoing, instead of over with a quick shock.

I draft a text to D every day, and then I don't send. It keeps his contact at the top of my Messages. I don't want D's contact to fall all the way down to the forgotten bottom. Yesterday my text draft said 114. Today my text draft will say 115. Tomorrow, 116.

Comment by Hilary Christene on December 12, 2015 at 7:07pm

Tabitha, our situation is very similar. Your words reach me deeply.

I hope that my words do not add more pain to your grieving.

One thing about losing my fiance is a feeling of an all-powerful bitch slapdown by life. We had a long, mutually adoring friendship, ever finding kindred spirits in one another, and then the perfect happiness in making our future together.

There is no one else on Earth who means what he means to me. My heart was so filled with love and happiness that I thought it might swell right out of my chest. To be taken from that light footed elation to horrifying damnation... people say they are worried about going crazy from the pain, but I think I have gone ahead and lost my mind.

I am wearing my ring still.

Comment by Felicia Evans on December 12, 2015 at 6:59am
Sorry for your loss Peggy.
Comment by Felicia Evans on December 12, 2015 at 6:57am
Peggy, you are not alone. The holidays are so hard right now. My oldest nephew passed away suddenly last November the day after Thanksgiving. The whole family was affected by this especially since our mom passed away 4 months earlier. His 7 little children lost their father and my sister lost her oldest son. It is so tough right now. My other sister was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago so we are helping her get through her chemo and everything else to come. We are having our family Christmas dinner in Dec 26 instead of Dec 25 because my sister has a chemo treatment on Dec 22 so we want to make sure she feels good enough to enjoy the dinner. My heart goes out to his children. I can't see them as often as I did when my nephew was alive. His wife keeps them in the house a lot. Whenever she lets my sister have the kids, my sister tries to bring them around the family. His wife starting seeing a man 3 months after my nephew passed and now she may be getting married again. I am trying not to judge her as I don't what it feels like to lose your husband. I think it is too soon but who am I to say? I miss my nephew so much. We were always very close. I never thought he would be gone before me. It's still hard...my sister is trying to be strong but I know privately she weeps.
Comment by dream moon JO B on December 11, 2015 at 3:58pm

im so sorry 2 evry 1 on hear 

all on hear coz of losss /losses

Comment by Tabitha on December 9, 2015 at 10:07am
Peg, you're not alone. The holidays are sooooo hard when you've had a loss. I'm so sorry you lost your sister-in-law. Sometimes family isn't who we are born related to, and your life's path crosses those special people's for a reason. Hang in there.
Comment by Peggy on December 9, 2015 at 9:22am

Hello All,

I have been looking for a support group for traumatic loss in my area for a while with no luck. I am happy I found this group.

Here is my story,

On June 27, 2015, I lost my sister-in-law to a tragic car accident. The truck in the opposite lane on a highway lost control, crossed the median and flew into the air and landed right on top of her vehicle. Her friend and her were killed instantly.

My sister-in-law is the only girl in the family and so am I. I am very close to my in-laws as my family are not around. My sister-in-law and I fight and talk like siblings, but I was never truly mad at her. My MIL used to tell us little things here and there and now only my MIL and I are left behind. She depends on my husband and I for everything ever since my sister-in-law died.

2 days before she died, she called me. Out of a blue she said to me, "Peggy I love you. You are my little sis." This sentence just keeps circling my head and I am in tears every time I think of her. I miss her so dearly.

It has been over 5 months since she died. I got better at one point after joining the local support group, but the closer it is to Christmas, the sadder I am. We had a very tough Thanksgiving and I am not looking forward to our Christmas this year.

It is just so hard to lose someone this way. I have never got to see her to say goodbye. She died on the highway not being able to come home.

I just need to vent it all out. The ache is so deep. Please tell me I am not alone.

Peg

Comment by Rj on December 9, 2015 at 8:08am
It may be "different" but the pain, heartache and grief are equally the same if the loved one was your world.
 

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