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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

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Latest Activity: 19 hours ago

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Heartbroken

I lost my oldest son on Oct. 21, 2014. He was shot multiple times and then thrown out of the car onto the street and was left lying there. My heart feels as though it has  completely been ripped out.…Continue

Started by Kim Snell 19 hours ago.

Heartbroken

I lost my oldest son on Oct. 21, 2014. He was shot multiple times and then thrown out of the car onto the street and was left lying there. My heart feels as though it has  completely been ripped out.…Continue

Started by Kim Snell 19 hours ago.

12 days 9 Replies

12 days ago my wife never arrived at work. She had lung cancer, I found her in the tub after a hemoraging.They say the first go around of special dates is hard. I guess I'll find out…Continue

Started by Rich. Last reply by Sandy Hendrix 23 hours ago.

lost 11 Replies

I lost someone very close to me.. we believed we were each others soul mate.. when she was taken from me on october 10 2014 i died as well.. everywhere i go im praying something will happen to end my…Continue

Started by zombie. Last reply by Stanley Ruiz Nov 20.

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Comment by Kim Snell 19 hours ago

I lost my oldest son on Oct. 21, 2014. He was shot multiple times and then thrown out of the car onto the street and was left lying there. My heart feels as though it has completely been ripped out. I still feel completely numb and although I know he is gone I have moments where it all still seems so unreal. He is my baby and I can't believe because another human being felt it was ok to take his life that I will never see or talk to him again. He was a beautiful young man with a wonderful heart. We had our rough times but were always there for each other. The hurt, loss, anger that I feel I can't even begin to explain and I feel alone. I am blessed w/two other children but am trying to stay strong because they are hurting so much. I had 26 wonderful years with him but was suppose to be able to have the rest of my life with him. I miss him.

Comment by erin on November 19, 2014 at 5:47pm

I'm right there with you it's been 2 months and one day since Don passed, due to complications from surgery, and yet no autopsy results, except his heart was really bad, and the VA should have NEVER oporated on him, they even postponed it to test his heart, and gave green light. One day I'm married, the next I'm widowed, I have a hard time even identifying myself with that word..  What I do know was it was easy to loose myself in Him, and avoid things in myself that really needed attention.  I have also spent over 30 years in 2 relationships, and now it's my time to make it or break it. I have secluded myself alot, and it actually helps, cuz everytime someone asks me how I am, I burst into tears. Someday I will have my lightness back, and won't let this taint my pure heart! I'm so deeply sorry for all of your losses

Comment by Lynn Boyd on November 18, 2014 at 8:19am
"A million times
I've needed you
A million times I've cried
If love alone
Could have saved you
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
No one else can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
Part of me when with you,
The day God took you home."

I would never miss a single meeting of my bereavement group. They are wonderful people who understand, and it's ok to cry all you need. Currently attending "Grief during the Holidays" meetings. Meeting new people who understand my pain and are becoming new friends. It's been 10 months now....sometimes it feels like yesterday....sometimes it feels like forever. I'll never get over it, but with support, love and my new relatioship with God I'm getting through it. I know my beloved would not want me to torment myself, destroy myself and others who love me. Life must go on.
Comment by Zell on November 17, 2014 at 10:40pm

"Why" has never been the problem for me.  I know when the day comes that I stand before God in glory and see Him and my beloved "why" will no longer matter.  Only the awareness of glory and love and eternal happiness.  I have never been angry at God because I trust Him fully and accept He is sovereign and His greater purpose is beyond question.  My partner is in the best place possible in the presence of God and free from the disappointment and bonds of this world.  The difficulty is living in the present world without the love of my life, without the human love I need, without the fulfillment of human partnership, the agony of the images I was faced with when I found my beloved dead in our apartment - nothing can erase those memories and take away the pain of daily living now.  God comforts, I have hope for reunion one day, but I no longer have a life and partner - I cry all the time and I know God hurts with me, but the burden is still too heavy in this life.  Hence I pray for release and try my best to do His will in the meantime.

Comment by Danny on November 17, 2014 at 5:08pm

easier said than done Tracy

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 17, 2014 at 3:17pm

My friends.. please, PLEASE stop asking yourself WHY??? You won't get an answer.. you won't know until you're on the other side and can speak to your loved ones yourself.. Stop torturing yourself.. please.

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 17, 2014 at 3:14pm

My son passed away 15 months ago, today. He had just gotten home from a drug treatment center and he was doing so well! He had learned so much and he kept telling me all of this stuff he was learning and realizing and I had taken off work 4 days and we had spent so much time together - except the time he went to meetings- and one night his dog woke me up and I ran in his room and he was on the floor and I couldn't wake him up.. stayed unconcious for 3-4 days on respirator until we had it unplugged... of all the times, so many times.. I thought I'd walk in and see him that way or get that call.. or every time I heard a siren thinking it was for him... this was NOT the time I expected this. Not when his life was just getting back on track.. I thought. He had issues but we were close.. even with everything that had gone on - that goes on with an addict.. we had a special bond. He was the only grandson.. my only son.. He's just. gone.  Somedays it's just hard to go on.. but I have a husband, two daughters and three granddaughters and I have to. For them. 

Comment by Holly on October 20, 2014 at 9:11pm
I lost my second mom a little over a month ago. She had a sudden brain aneurysm. She was my friend, supporter, comforter, mother figure to me for over 13 years. Her death still feels like it happened yesterday. I will never forget that phone call from her best friend. I feel like I lost my mom. My real mom is still alive, but has never been able to provide emotional support to me. This is a huge loss.
Comment by Silva Delphine Reynell on October 19, 2014 at 11:36am

Anyone have any experience with loosing a boyfriend/partner? My boyfriend passed a week ago, totally unexpected after he made a stupid mistake, he was 24 years old. Absolutley devestated and heart broken. The warmest, nicest most genuine pure sou iv'e ever met. What the F to do!!

Comment by Jayne on October 18, 2014 at 12:05am

my ,mom, passed away 8 months she suffered from pancreatic cancer

I am devastated. she was and will always be my bff.

 

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Dennis C. replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Zell, I was wondering what you think. The following scriptures speak convincingly of the earth. Psalms 37:11 — But the meek will possess the earth, And they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace. Isaiah 45:18 (KJV-S)…"
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MarieSte replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
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Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Insofar as pain is concerned, yes I too am in that same pain. It is paralyzing and all-consuming and seemingly hopeless and endless.  I currently cannot work as a result of my intense grief. The last thing I want to do is add to anyone's…"
4 hours ago
Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
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Connie K left a comment for Kim Snell
"Kim I'm am am so so sorry for your loss.mI hope you can find some support and comfort here."
9 hours ago
Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"We are earthly, mortal beings Bluebird. We are not meant to live here forever. We each have a span of life and our days are numbered on earth before it even started.   Nothing can change it and yes it is damned unfair to loose our loved ones…"
11 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"I disagree. If s/he were a "just" God, my husband would not be dead, and neither would yours."
12 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"I agree that we all have the right to express our opinions. As I said, I find that I don't agree with any of Zell's spiritual/religious views, either.  I am agnostic verging on atheist, but if there is a god of any kind then I agree…"
12 hours ago
Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"The gospel may appear condemning Connie, but that is just it.  It is not watered down, wishy-washy and compromising, accepting of all paths - for a reason.  The ultimate price was paid for man's redemption. Paul’s Gospel (the…"
13 hours ago
Dawn posted a status
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15 hours ago
Poppy posted a status
"I was mad at my mom today. Kinda felt guilty. Then I realized that she wasn't perfect. No one is. It's okay to be mad."
15 hours ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Marie, it is a beautiful poem. I liked the Angelic Tidings writing as well...it is very comforting...I like the line "the indigo is like the sky at midnight sprinkled with stars as my mind now holds the thoughts and dreams that were both…"
18 hours ago
Kim Snell left a comment for Michelle H
"Michelle thank you and I am sorry about your loss. I understand what you mean about not being able to say goodbye. Never thought that I would have to. It's not suppose to be that way."
18 hours ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Jo B, I am sorry the loss of your Aunt B...very hard when too much comes our way at once...just to take one day at a time is all I can do... The third picture down of the metal figurine outside in town square...it looks like it is taken in the…"
18 hours ago
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