Traumatic, Sudden Loss

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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

lost 11 Replies

I lost someone very close to me.. we believed we were each others soul mate.. when she was taken from me on october 10 2014 i died as well.. everywhere i go im praying something will happen to end my…Continue

Started by zombie. Last reply by Stanley Ruiz on Friday.

How do i go on without him? 13 Replies

The love of my life passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago on the 6th. Funeral was the 20th, and as of yet, autopsy proved inconclusive. He had a night out with a friend, and as far as we`ve been told,…Continue

Started by Vee. Last reply by Vee Nov 6.

No getting over it 3 Replies

We sold up, left the UK and started a new life in a foreign country, We had 10 happy years here, I used to smile every day at our luck... he was due to fly to Russia for work on the Thursday, it was…Continue

Started by bernice. Last reply by Lynn Boyd Oct 2.

Going through the motions 7 Replies

Today it has been 4 weeks since I got that awful telephone call and my world changed forever.  I feel kind of numb.  Like I'm going through the motions of life but just in a daze.  I cried the day it…Continue

Started by Cyndii. Last reply by bernice Sep 30.

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Comment by erin on Wednesday

I'm right there with you it's been 2 months and one day since Don passed, due to complications from surgery, and yet no autopsy results, except his heart was really bad, and the VA should have NEVER oporated on him, they even postponed it to test his heart, and gave green light. One day I'm married, the next I'm widowed, I have a hard time even identifying myself with that word..  What I do know was it was easy to loose myself in Him, and avoid things in myself that really needed attention.  I have also spent over 30 years in 2 relationships, and now it's my time to make it or break it. I have secluded myself alot, and it actually helps, cuz everytime someone asks me how I am, I burst into tears. Someday I will have my lightness back, and won't let this taint my pure heart! I'm so deeply sorry for all of your losses

Comment by Lynn Boyd on November 18, 2014 at 8:19am
"A million times
I've needed you
A million times I've cried
If love alone
Could have saved you
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
No one else can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
Part of me when with you,
The day God took you home."

I would never miss a single meeting of my bereavement group. They are wonderful people who understand, and it's ok to cry all you need. Currently attending "Grief during the Holidays" meetings. Meeting new people who understand my pain and are becoming new friends. It's been 10 months now....sometimes it feels like yesterday....sometimes it feels like forever. I'll never get over it, but with support, love and my new relatioship with God I'm getting through it. I know my beloved would not want me to torment myself, destroy myself and others who love me. Life must go on.
Comment by Zell on November 17, 2014 at 10:40pm

"Why" has never been the problem for me.  I know when the day comes that I stand before God in glory and see Him and my beloved "why" will no longer matter.  Only the awareness of glory and love and eternal happiness.  I have never been angry at God because I trust Him fully and accept He is sovereign and His greater purpose is beyond question.  My partner is in the best place possible in the presence of God and free from the disappointment and bonds of this world.  The difficulty is living in the present world without the love of my life, without the human love I need, without the fulfillment of human partnership, the agony of the images I was faced with when I found my beloved dead in our apartment - nothing can erase those memories and take away the pain of daily living now.  God comforts, I have hope for reunion one day, but I no longer have a life and partner - I cry all the time and I know God hurts with me, but the burden is still too heavy in this life.  Hence I pray for release and try my best to do His will in the meantime.

Comment by Danny on November 17, 2014 at 5:08pm

easier said than done Tracy

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 17, 2014 at 3:17pm

My friends.. please, PLEASE stop asking yourself WHY??? You won't get an answer.. you won't know until you're on the other side and can speak to your loved ones yourself.. Stop torturing yourself.. please.

Comment by Tracy Huston on November 17, 2014 at 3:14pm

My son passed away 15 months ago, today. He had just gotten home from a drug treatment center and he was doing so well! He had learned so much and he kept telling me all of this stuff he was learning and realizing and I had taken off work 4 days and we had spent so much time together - except the time he went to meetings- and one night his dog woke me up and I ran in his room and he was on the floor and I couldn't wake him up.. stayed unconcious for 3-4 days on respirator until we had it unplugged... of all the times, so many times.. I thought I'd walk in and see him that way or get that call.. or every time I heard a siren thinking it was for him... this was NOT the time I expected this. Not when his life was just getting back on track.. I thought. He had issues but we were close.. even with everything that had gone on - that goes on with an addict.. we had a special bond. He was the only grandson.. my only son.. He's just. gone.  Somedays it's just hard to go on.. but I have a husband, two daughters and three granddaughters and I have to. For them. 

Comment by Holly on October 20, 2014 at 9:11pm
I lost my second mom a little over a month ago. She had a sudden brain aneurysm. She was my friend, supporter, comforter, mother figure to me for over 13 years. Her death still feels like it happened yesterday. I will never forget that phone call from her best friend. I feel like I lost my mom. My real mom is still alive, but has never been able to provide emotional support to me. This is a huge loss.
Comment by Silva Delphine Reynell on October 19, 2014 at 11:36am

Anyone have any experience with loosing a boyfriend/partner? My boyfriend passed a week ago, totally unexpected after he made a stupid mistake, he was 24 years old. Absolutley devestated and heart broken. The warmest, nicest most genuine pure sou iv'e ever met. What the F to do!!

Comment by Jayne on October 18, 2014 at 12:05am

my ,mom, passed away 8 months she suffered from pancreatic cancer

I am devastated. she was and will always be my bff.

Comment by Wander on October 9, 2014 at 5:38pm

Today is six months since my beloved husband left us. I can't bear this any longer. I'm struggling to hang on for my kids, who clearly need me to be here-- but I need him!! I can't do it, I just can't. I pray constantly for release from this horrible pain. I manage to get through most days, keeping my mask of "okay-ness" in place, but inside I'm endlessly screaming in agony. I hate this. It's not my life. It's not.


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Latest Activity

Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Salvation is through Christ only. This is the fact affirmed by Christ that there can be no eternal life apart from him. In this age when the spirit of pseudo-ecumenism has invaded the hearts of many, this truth needs to be vigorously pressed. The…"
45 minutes ago
Tracy Huston commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sandy - rereading your post I've reLized that I did the same thing. All the little things that I kept track of. The day he went into the hospital, the specific dates and places, etc.. That I kept up with- they do fade with some time. You…"
2 hours ago
Jean left a comment for Alisa
"I am so sorry for your loss. My mother passed almost  2 years ago and that was  the beginning of a very long journey for me. She went quickly like you mother. The doctor told me that I did everything right but I felt I had failed her…"
10 hours ago
Tracy Huston commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sandy i did go see a counselor for a little while. It did help some. Helped me with the feelings of guilt I had. If I only.. I should have... Etc.. It helped me see that if it was someone else I would be telling them of course it wasn't their…"
12 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"He is incorrect.  And evolution doesn't state that "we come from monkeys", it states that over millions of years, we evolved from earlier forms of primates. I cannot believe that in 2014 there are still people who disbelieve…"
13 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Sorry to interrupt, but Robert Monroe said that human being appeared on Earth in the present form. Which means we're not coming from the monkeys. Human being has always been having the present form. At least that's what his angels told…"
13 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Dennis, I don't know anything about Mormons. I'm really not religious. I'm having my own experience and trust my own experience. Plus when I found out Monroe books, I found out his experience fits mine perfectly. Therefore I follow…"
13 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"You're very right. To discover more you have to have an open mind. Have to be a scientist. I think that consciousness is magnetic. It explains why the deceased people are able to communicate via electricity and still are able to think. Magnetic…"
13 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
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14 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"I appreciate your response, thank you. I can't agree that "Religion is probably just a step in spiritual growth", though. If there is a god, or anything spiritual, then I think there are many paths to it, and each religion is one…"
14 hours ago
Sandy Hendrix commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My thoughts are with you Michelle, it must be so hard...I am so dreading the Holidays...peace and hugs. "
14 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Bluebird, you're right. Maybe I expressed myself not quite correct. Religion is probably just a step in spiritual growth. But if you get stuck in it, it limits your thinking. You're right, I cannot be sure if my way of thinking isn't…"
14 hours ago
Sandy Hendrix commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Oh Tracy, I so want to stay in the dark corner and cry, I cannot stand the pain, its 4 weeks tomorrow, I hate the Sundays, I hate the Mondays when we found out.  I asked my ex on that Sunday if he was using and he said - I don't think…"
14 hours ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"You also may like this personal experience I came across   "
14 hours ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"A few years back, I personally also talked to a man who had an NDE...he said he did not want to come back... Then my daughter the other day met a woman who had an NDE... From my experience, especially over the last two years, confirm this type…"
15 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"No offense taken"
15 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Dennis, I don't feel anything about the Bible. I'm sorry if it offends you or anyone else on here."
15 hours ago
Kira and Laurie ~ Jesse's mom are now friends
15 hours ago
Kira replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Hi Laurie! I'm also very much interested in NDE stories. Recently I found quite interesting ones, for example that one If you're interested, the woman claims she left her…"
15 hours ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom and Alexandra Raphaela are now friends
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