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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 924
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

A proof of love 13 Replies

I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?Continue

Started by Toni Jones. Last reply by Christine Jun 3.

Loosing my father unexpectadly 1 Reply

Hi i lost my dad just over 2 months ago now and its harder and harder everyday for me to cope. He was run over by a car on his way to my house and just a house over is where he was found i cant get…Continue

Started by Dawn Mohi. Last reply by John Barry May 9.

book 6 Replies

no 1 giv us a book on way we deal on loss we do it way we doContinue

Started by JO B. Last reply by JO B Apr 25.

unexpected 2 Replies

hi i am 16 and i tragically lost my step father the night of july 1-aka july 2 2015 but it was at 2:51 am. i had gotten home that night from being with my friends and i went to bed and i was awaken…Continue

Started by sivan yarchi. Last reply by sivan yarchi Mar 1.

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Comment by Theresa on Sunday

It just gets "softer" he will always be in your heart.

I think about my mom every single day and its been 1 1/2 yrs

I call it my new life

Comment by Melissa Malone on Sunday

Lost my husband April 30th.  I was supposed to go first as I had 2 hospital stays in less than 2 months. Wade found me unresponsive and I ended up on a ventilator in ICU. Wade has almost never been sick. I find him unresponsive and he basically died in route to hospital. I miss him terribly. I feel that my heart is broken and my soul shattered. I can't sleep or eat. I've lost 20 lbs since he passed. Does this pass at some point?

Comment by A. Buyten on May 16, 2017 at 6:48pm

Thank you Jackie!

Good words! Dance! I have been refreshed from my girlfriends sudden passing of 4+ years ago. By the love of my now girlfriend that I have known for 10 years. It is good I am able to carry on. I have never stopped loving my girl that passed. I still cry, I miss her, and feel incomplete in a way. But it has subsided and that is good in the way of feeling less anxiety, so that is easier for me to live a fuller life day to day. So like you said "Dance" and dance when you can. Smiles!

Comment by nicole rae on May 16, 2017 at 2:23pm

in my suicide support group its called "getting used to the new normal" its taking one day at a time. concentrating on one moment at a time is all we can do.

Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 12:15pm

Thank you Jackie, I will be thinking of you and everyone tomorrow.

Take care

Comment by Jackie cooke on May 13, 2017 at 8:38am
Sending you love Theresa, I'm having such a bad day I have cried all day. Some of my tears are for everyone else on here to. Know I'm sharing your pain xx
Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 7:56am
Tomorrow is Mother's Day it will be my second mom about my mom just as hard as the first one
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 7, 2017 at 1:45pm
If I Begin to Dance Again

If I begin to dance
does it mean I am too alive?
If I sing again
Does it mean I have forgotten you are gone?
If I laugh out loud
does it mean I have forgotten
You are forever silent?

If a day goes by
without a tear
is your memory fading?
If your name
is not spoken
does it mean you never were?

If my heart is light for an instant
does it mean I mourn you less?
And If I should get through a day
without the image of your last moments
does it mean I forget your suffering?

If you are dead
can I believe and live
and ever be the same again?

And if I am never to be the same again...
will it mean
that you have left me with the gift of
being more not less because of you?
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 4:28pm
Thanks Anne x
Comment by AnneJ on May 6, 2017 at 3:45pm

Jackie, every word made sense. AnneJ.

 

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Latest Activity

KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
5 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
6 minutes ago
Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
9 hours ago
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
yesterday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
yesterday
AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
yesterday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
Tuesday
Nora posted a status
"Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
Tuesday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
Tuesday
Jennifer B posted a photo
Tuesday
Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Tuesday
Bethany posted a blog post

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
Monday
gregory harvey posted a blog post

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
Monday
morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
Monday
Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
Monday
Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, If I could I would just copy each word of yours and paste it here. I am exactly in the same boat. I know how you fell and what is going on with you. I will have 3 months tomorrow and today is 13 weeks since my Steve just gone, disappeared into…"
Monday
KIM Montgomery added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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Missing my Best Friend

Again, I am missing my best friend tomorrow will be 7 weeks.  I went back to work last week and it helped some.   Getting into a routine helped.  The issue I have is when I get home he is not there.  That was our time together. Yesterday being father's day the adult kids were lost as was I. My son lives close by and my daughter is 300 miles away.  I was alone without the kids, just my 2 little dogs.  I am so thankful for them.They say go back to work it will help, they say it has been 6 weeks…See More
Monday
Mike H. posted a blog post

Mourning by Definition

MourningThe outward expression of grief over a death or some other calamity. In Bible times, it was customary to mourn for a period of time. In addition to weeping loudly, mourners wore special clothes, put ashes on their head, ripped their garments, and beat their chest. Professional mourners were sometimes invited to funerals.—Ge 23:2;…See More
Monday

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