Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 861
Latest Activity: 17 hours ago

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of my Husband 6 Replies

December 27th, 2015 was the worst day of my life. I lost my husband, soulmate, and best friend in a car accident. He was on his way home from work and then he was gone. I was informed by the police…Continue

Started by Glennda Wright. Last reply by Jennifer on Thursday.

I lost my ten year relationship to my prom date 2 Replies

Hello my name is Jennifer and I'm new here. This is my first time going through this so let me tell you the story. My fiancé, my prom date, my 10 year relationship has ended last year on the night of…Continue

Started by Jennifer. Last reply by Jennifer on Thursday.

My husbands death 6 weeks ago 3 Replies

On the evening of December 14th, my husband was hit from behind by a speeding truck while he was making his last turn on his motor bike to come home. I am left with a 5 year old and an 8 year old…Continue

Started by Rhiannon Thomas-Bethel. Last reply by Rhiannon Thomas-Bethel Jan 30.

I lost my young wife 6 weeks back in an accident 5 Replies

We were a happy family of 3, my wife,me n our 2 yr old daughter. on the 16th of december our world came crashing down. God took my wife away. Im trying to be strong. Need all ur help. I have started…Continue

Tags: wife, my

Started by ashish jose. Last reply by ashish jose Jan 30.

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Comment by Karen Cowe on January 28, 2016 at 3:06pm
I can hardly believe that I found this chat room. Beceause when my Mom died it was so unexpected and shocking. One of the worst parts about it was she died in her condo alone . And I didn't find her for 7 days. I should have called to check up on her but for reasons unknown to me to this day I didn't. And for that I will never ever forgive myself. When my boyfriend ( now husband) came up to see if she was ok . He was already on his cell phone calling 911. He said he could smell an Oder through the doors. I took his phone and threw it and said how dare he. I had a key so we both came in bad I called out..MOM.. No answer I then started to go up the stairs where her bedroom is and called out again.. MOM.. No anise then the third time I screamed ..MOM... Then for reasons I to this day don't understand . I crawled up the remainder of the steps. In the meantime my boyfriend had gone into her room . I was laying on the floor looking at her bed( it was dark in the room) I couldn't see her. Little did I know at the time she was on the floor about 15 feet away from me. At that oping my boyfriend shook his head and said ... She's gone Karen.. I started to act like a crazy person I stared hitting him screaming at him telling him he was a liar . I must have called him every name in the book. The rage I felt towards him was unreal. After years of thinking about it I had no reason what so ever to have done that to him. Then the Sherriffs were called by one of the neighbors thinking there was a domestic situation going on. When they got there my boyfriend just pointed and told them to go upstairs . Still I wasn't done I kept hitting him as if he had killed her. I was COMPLETLY out of control. Then I called my older sister and son and they came up . While they we were all downstairs they started talking and at that point I just put my fingers in my ears and rocked back and forth . Then they came and took her body but before they did that my sister took me down to the pool area . So I wouldn't see or hear anything else. My life was forever changed on that day in June 17,2002.
Comment by Minky Merlin on January 17, 2016 at 5:36pm
Thank u all. Had Hubby's cremation on Monday and it was beautiful. Girls cried for the first time, I think for them rather than just been told Daddy's gone they actually saw proof. Since then the girls are shouting at each other and Iam trying to play the referee and I end up shouting! This next feeling I do not understand - I saw hubby the day he died 15th Dec 2015- but Still after the cremation I do not believe he could not physically be coming home. He use to work away in London for the last 10 yrs so I am use to waiting for him on Friday nights. Iam biting my tongue not to answer the phone with his name and I am sure he will come home. He could not leave me and the girls like this. He will come home -won't he. Iam going crazy. X
Comment by Alice Thompson on January 16, 2016 at 5:15pm
Hi Minky, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and wish you strength and comfort as you get through the hours. My beloved partner had a massive stroke out of the blue just over a year ago which left him unable to comprehend anything, let alone recognise anyone, and died 9 days later. I'm no expert about this site, but I use this site from my iPhone (I like the simpler version you get that way) and mainly look at "activity", which shows the latest things people have publicly said on the various groups and discussions within those groups, as well as comments to individual people, then add to the comments. The people here are amazingly supportive, loving and generous, particularly considering the enormous pain they are suffering. You can say anything, and there are always people who understand. I find the group "Lost my spouse" is a good place to say how you're feeling. There are some wonderful fellow sufferers there who really try to help each other.
Comment by JO B on January 16, 2016 at 1:04pm



sorry fr yore loss

i go on hear coz its 1 of safer sitses it is 

Comment by Minky Merlin on January 16, 2016 at 8:01am
Hi IAm new to all this social stuff don't do Facebook or anything I just have no interest. But, want to talk so I don't feel alone. Is this how u use this site?
Comment by Hilary Christene on December 24, 2015 at 2:32am

It's been a hard day today, Jo. Lots of tears today. It's Christmas Eve now and everyone is rushing to get to their people. I guess maybe I am doing that too.

Comment by JO B on December 23, 2015 at 3:17pm

2 day is 1 of thm stress 1

im br ok en i am so b r o k e n i am so mush loss in 1 go so mush bad thngs go on its nt slf pity 

if im rantin on2 mush im sorry or if iv upset any 1 im sorry

dnt no if it xmas om fryday gt me in way i am 2 day or 2 mush ba thng goin on 2

i wish i cud buy my dad lots of candy coz he luvd swets thngs i wish i cud snd thm all a crd so on

why did god pusnh me letin mum egt demsa why her why did i get punsh coz of so mush loss

i sea merry cmasxmas mery xmas daddy or anti i cnt evn by coz thy not hear 

im cryin im fed up im so sad mad so on

Comment by Hilary Christene on December 13, 2015 at 11:57am

Day 115 today. D's pajamas are set on his side of the bed, with the lavender neck roll pillow I got for him. I loved seeing my big strong man snuggle and sleep with his lavender pillow. God what a big, happy, sweet bear. He always wore a watch, and would have a red handkerchief poking out of his back jeans pocket. These are folded and placed at his bed stand, and these memorial items receive my kiss for him at night.

His shaving things and toothbrush are on the bathroom counter.

When I was ten years old, I accidentally got my finger stuck between the prongs of a plug and a wall outlet. I remember how the painful shock of the electrical charge threw me backwards to the opposite wall of the room.

This reminds me of that full body spasm of pain, like electrocution, but it's ongoing, instead of over with a quick shock.

I draft a text to D every day, and then I don't send. It keeps his contact at the top of my Messages. I don't want D's contact to fall all the way down to the forgotten bottom. Yesterday my text draft said 114. Today my text draft will say 115. Tomorrow, 116.

Comment by Lizzie on December 13, 2015 at 12:44am

Tabitha, Hilary I too fall in a similar situation like you both and both your words really spoke to me. Everyday I feel that it's unfair that my love had to go, it's so painful that no words can describe it. I lie awake and think about life without him, I break into tears. I sleep with the toys he bought for me long ago, I sleep with his pajama shirt clutched to my chest.  It's only 53 days since I've lost him, I don't know how long I can carry on like this. I'm sad to realize that I'm not alone in this, that so many like us, like me have to go through this pain till we part from this world.

Comment by Hilary Christene on December 12, 2015 at 7:07pm

Tabitha, our situation is very similar. Your words reach me deeply.

I hope that my words do not add more pain to your grieving.

One thing about losing my fiance is a feeling of an all-powerful bitch slapdown by life. We had a long, mutually adoring friendship, ever finding kindred spirits in one another, and then the perfect happiness in making our future together.

There is no one else on Earth who means what he means to me. My heart was so filled with love and happiness that I thought it might swell right out of my chest. To be taken from that light footed elation to horrifying damnation... people say they are worried about going crazy from the pain, but I think I have gone ahead and lost my mind.

I am wearing my ring still.


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