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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

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Latest Activity: yesterday

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

A family Ripped Apart

I am so upset. My nephew passed away suddenly in November of last year. He has older children from his first marriage and I'm very close to them. He was still married to his second wife at the time…Continue

Started by Felicia Evans on Saturday.

My wife 12 Replies

    On January 26th of this year, my whole life was changed forever. My wife of 44 years was killed in an automobile accident. She was riding with a co-worker from their place of employment to where…Continue

Started by Orville Hamman Jr.. Last reply by vinnie perez on Thursday.

Lost Grandmother and Aunt 1 Reply

This is my first time posting this anywhere public. Last summer, we found out my Nana had stage 4 cancer. She was fine one week, and then the next week she was rushed to the hospital, and she went…Continue

Started by Bex. Last reply by Steve Suehiro on Wednesday.

Kissed him goodbye, 45 minutes later he was gone 2 Replies

First I am very glad I found this site/group for help. Thanks in advance for all the support this site has to offer. My boyfriend passed away on February 19th, (last month) of a massive heart…Continue

Started by Mary K. Last reply by Lost & Alone Mar 22.

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Comment by Connie K on Saturday

Scarlotte what  a sad story. The abuse of power is nauseating.

Comment by marlene lovell on Friday
Michelle B.......don't ever apologize for "droning" on......it is what we must do as a part of our grief. Even after four years of losing my husband, I so desperately want to talk about him.
Comment by Scarlette on Friday

My brother was killed by the police almost 2 months ago. I am struggling so hard with so many different emotions. The police were wrong in what they did. They allowed my brother to freeze to death in the woods, and refused to let his friends look for him. I am so angry. Angry at how he died. Angry with the police for allowing it to happen. Angry with myself that I didn't know in time to go out and look for him myself. The police threatened to arrest his friends that were there and wanted to look for him. If I had known he was out there and that the police weren't looking for him, I know those police would have let me look for him, or would have had to arrest me. It was -20 degrees that night, and possibly colder because it was windy and he was up on a hill. The police said that they searched hard for him, but when you look at the timeline they only looked for about 10 minutes, and then stood by for over two hours preventing anyone from trying to help him. When my dad asked the next morning why they had called off the search they told him that it was way to cold for them to be out in the woods. Yet they made no attempt to contact us, they made no attempt to call in search and rescue, they just let him die. He had a run in with one of the cops in our town years ago, and since then they have had it out for him. I believe that when they found out who it was they had out there, they decided he wasn't coming out the woods alive. The police are sworn to protect and to serve....the police in my town did none of that. They murdered my brother that night.

Comment by Undisclosed on Thursday

My sister was just killed by the man we all thought would take care of her, her husband. He also took his own life and i miss her everyday. It hits me at the weirdest time.... I cant stop crying and i'm not a crier i hate crying... but i just want my sister back

Comment by Michelle B. on March 20, 2015 at 2:57pm

I haven't been able to even bring myself to send out thank you cards for funeral thoughts and flowers.  People that I've seen personally, I've thanked them and explained that it just gets "more real" with each type of closure, and I'm not ready for that.  I feel so bad for the kids...they grieve in their own way, too, and have accomplished so many milestones just in the past few months since their dad's death. Without him. He went to every band concert, every silly school function, every parent teacher conference, sports event, even girl scout meetings when called for. Now our daughters are looking at prom dresses, our son has his first girlfriend, our daughter has chosen a college, and their dad isn't there for those things. Graduations, weddings, you name it.  I'm so sorry for droning on like this!  It takes me about 4 hours just to get a load of laundry done!  He loved doing yard work and I haven't done anything.  

Comment by Debra Border on March 20, 2015 at 1:59pm

I know what you mean.  My husband died suddenly almost 7 years ago.  In the months/years following I got the feeling that people were a little uncomfortable with my grief.   They moved on, but I didn't move on with them.  Part of me still hasn't moved on.  I've made a new life, but the memory of my husband is part of it. 

Over a year ago my sister lost her grown son.  She still calls and talks about the same things she's talked about a hundred times.  She needs that in her journey to healing, and I listen for as long as she wants to talk and tell me about her son.  It's important to find someone who understands and has the patience to help you heal.  These groups are a great resource for that.

Comment by Michelle B. on March 20, 2015 at 1:06pm

My husband and his brother were killed at work on a beautiful Friday in September. We were looking forward to the weekend - typical stuff, band contest, football, stuff around the house.  We have 3 teenagers.  I've got his ashes but it still doesn't feel real for any of us.  The wave hits at any time.  I have a good support system of family and friends, and of course our children, but I just need another type of sounding board because I don't want to become a burden.

Comment by Ashley on March 5, 2015 at 11:26pm

I lost my 3 month old son. He was my only son. He died in his crib. I found him in the crib, and that sight will haunt me forever. So I try to think of all the moments that were good with him. I always sang to my kids, and still do. Singing to him always seemed to calm him down. Its been a year since his death. So hearing the songs that I would sing to him, hits me hard. It was hard trying to explain to my oldest daughter who was 5 at the time what happened to her baby brother. She always asked. But I think she understands alittle now. She draws pictures of the family and her baby brother in the sky.

Comment by Tiffany on March 5, 2015 at 11:18pm
It's been a little over 90 days sometimes I still cry as if it just happen I wish I could have a redo I surely would've held on tighter and kissed you longer I love you this is for you https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9iywT6mODUE
Comment by Karen T. on March 4, 2015 at 7:04pm

Karla,

I lost my husband of 14.5 years this past October and I am still i the denial stage. Don't beat yourself up for still being in denial because you were/are at a distance- being physically closer to the location doesn't necessarily help. Look how physicially close with my husband I was and I honsestly still answer questions like he was still here- ex: last night my son said he was going to set the alarm clock but it looked like someone already did and my immediate response was "son, maybe daddy did it before going to bed." That response just came out almost automatically and felt so natural. But only you can know what may or may not work for you. Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

 

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