Crystal K
  • Female
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
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  • BLUEBELL

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Latest Activity

Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry for the typos. Using my phone. "
Jun 11
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hey all, how are you guys doing? Havent checked in in awhile, been pretty busy with work.. Guess its a good thing cause then Im not thinking about my mom constantly.. I wonder, when do we become comfortable when we’re alone? I feel like when…"
Jun 11
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
May 25
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
May 24
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell I am praying for you.   We survived mother's day.  Last night was pretty bad for me. I was feeling anxious all day and cried myself to sleep.  A bit glad though cause I got to see my mom, even if it was just in my…"
May 17
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sending love to all of you this coming mother’s day♥️ "
Apr 30
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is just so hard and I know we are all going through it... I just wish they told me it was going to hurt this much- I would've spent every minute with my mom and learned everything about her :( "
Apr 24
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful.  I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well.  No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
Apr 24
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"In 3 months, it will be a year since my mom passed away. It feels like it was yesterday. I know I asked this before but when does it get easier to do activities that you and your mother did together? I cant bring myself to do anything that reminds…"
Apr 19
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell i feel for you. Sepsis is a horrible and very deadly illness thst not a lot of people know about. My mom also died from complications oftom sepsis, heart failure, etc. It kills me everyday thinking about it. Im sure your sister woll be…"
Apr 11
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry for the misspellings. Posting from my iphone. "
Apr 5
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you seem to always know how what to say to make me feel a littl better... I remember reading somewhere that grief comes in waves.. you’re doing fine, smiling, until a picture of your loved one pops into your head. But it seems lije its…"
Apr 5
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is my mom’s birthday to two days. She wouldve been 61. Been dreading this day everyday this past month. How can someone you knew and talked to everyday suddenly not be here the next? Then it seems like their whole life is reduced to their…"
Mar 23
Crystal K replied to Carmen's discussion So few left
"Hi Camren. I feel the same way you do. I lost my grandma in 2014 and now my mom last year. They were the only two people closest to me. My grandmas death was sad but she was 83 so I was thankful that she had a long life. My mother died unexpectedly…"
Mar 18
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would never want to diminish someone’s faith or beliefs. I just wish my faith was as strong as you guys. I am aware of what the bible says about mediums and the dangers of it. I was so distraught the first month after my mom’s death…"
Mar 15
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The first few months after her death, i became obsessed with the afterlife. Mediumship specifically. I started researching how I can develop my own skills and contact the spiriworld. Have not started yet. Although I’ve found some good starting…"
Mar 13

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I have lost others but nothing could prepare me for this.
Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.

If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:33pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)

At 5:16pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions.

At 7:23pm on September 20, 2017, Joy said…

Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, it was nice to put a face to a name. I always have these pre conceived notions of what I think people will look like. With you, it's the name, I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses. I was wrong on this one. "
45 minutes ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The blond women I was hugging afterwards was my sister. Bluebell"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I was really scared to get up there, but I am glad I did. Not everyone here has this type of Celebration of Life. But my sister's husband was very involved in the well being of his neighborhood and also loved a good get together at his…"
3 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda. I want to be very clear -- I am in no way advocating suicide for anyone, I am just saying that if that is what I end up doing, I will not allow it to keep me from my husband."
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it…"
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Dear Geraldine, Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end?  Sending…"
5 hours ago
monty thompson replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All I have noticed lately that i am having dreams with re-occuring theams. my wife leaving (though some circumstance) and having greater responsibilities to look after others.. are other experiencing dreams with constant theam's ? that…"
5 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Another morning waking with anxiety that feels like it is choking me. Missing my husband with an ache inside that I cannot explain. If only cancer didn't exist or there was a cure, my beloved would still be here."
5 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"AMEN!!!!!!"
9 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You have a very valid point, I agree with your comment."
9 hours ago
Leian joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't agree -- if there is an afterlife, I WILL be with my husband there, no matter how I die. I will tear the afterlife apart to be with him, if that is what I have to do. I don't believe in God, but if there is one, if it is a loving…"
13 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I agree with you, my Lutheran religion has taught if I take my own life I will not join My Husband in heaven. The only way I go on is that we are not widowed, still married only he is in Heaven and I am in Hell. "
14 hours ago
Trevy Thomas commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My heart goes out to you all. Grief is the hardest pain in the world. A few things I saw in your comments made me want to share.  Vickie, grief is still new for you and the early part is impossibly hard. My husband died at 49…"
16 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Oh Vickie lemoigne ecklund my heart breaks for you. There are no words that can take away the pain. "
19 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband 7 moths ago and he was my soul mate my everything. I am so lost without out him. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. How long will I just want to die cuz I'm without out him. His b day is today he would have been 53…"
20 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
20 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, amazing words. It helped me a lot. Bluebell, saw your video and felt amazing. It is great that you have such celebration of life. It is not very common in India. "
20 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That is so hard to do. My mom would tell me that she wanted me to be happy after she was gone. I would say, "Mom, how happy would you be if I were the one who was dying?" She couldn't answer that question. Who knows? Maybe if I had…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"If we each go every detail of our lives with our mothers, each one of us will find ample reason to feel guilty. But what would be the point? None of us would be on this site if we didn't love and miss our mom's with all of our…"
yesterday

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