Crystal K
  • Female
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
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Crystal K's Friends

  • Frances Koonce
  • Avi
  • Joy
  • BLUEBELL

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Latest Activity

Crystal K is now friends with Frances Koonce and Avi
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The indifference is hard. I hate it when people ask me how Zim doing or how lifw is... I just want to scream at them “how do you think it is!” My boss constantly asks me and everytime I just respond with a “fine” or…"
Aug 13
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys I know I havent posted recently but I do keep up with all your posts. Still battling the same things. Ive decided to see a therapist to help me deal through my emotions.  thinking of you all ❤️"
Jul 23
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, wanted to share this with you guys. Today is the one year anniversary of my mom’s death-and coming across this has helped make today a little more bearable. "
Jul 9
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everone, wanted to share  this with you guys. Its made today (the  1 year anniversary of my mom’s death) a lot easier. "
Jul 9
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Now Im more worried about my anger/resentment issues because its gotten to a point where I am so envious of others and Ive also avoided contact with family members because I havent forgiven them. And I know they must be going through their own guilt…"
Jul 1
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, yes we do torture ourselves with guilt but like you said its so hard not too... I too feel so guilty over little things... I feel guilty just smiling sometimes... You’re right I do go longer periods now without thinking about my mother,…"
Jul 1
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you guys. Happy birthday to your mom Theresa.  Brett, I am dreaming of my mom less and less frequent. I wonder if it is our memories with them fading :(   I thank God for pictures but sometimes I know I am slowly losing the…"
Jun 28
Joy left a comment for Crystal K
"Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of…"
Jun 28
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys, sorry I've been MIA for a while. You guys give me a lot of comfort but sometimes even being here is hard, talking to each other about our moms. Bluebell, just read what you are going through! I hope you are feeling better!  I…"
Jun 28
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry for the typos. Using my phone. "
Jun 11
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hey all, how are you guys doing? Havent checked in in awhile, been pretty busy with work.. Guess its a good thing cause then Im not thinking about my mom constantly.. I wonder, when do we become comfortable when we’re alone? I feel like when…"
Jun 11
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
May 25
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
May 24
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell I am praying for you.   We survived mother's day.  Last night was pretty bad for me. I was feeling anxious all day and cried myself to sleep.  A bit glad though cause I got to see my mom, even if it was just in my…"
May 17
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sending love to all of you this coming mother’s day♥️ "
Apr 30

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I have lost others but nothing could prepare me for this.
Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.

If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 6:36pm on June 28, 2018, Joy said…

Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of her all day every day.

At 9:33pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)

At 5:16pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions.

At 7:23pm on September 20, 2017, Joy said…

Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm glad that I was with my mom when she passed over. I was the last person that she saw and I was able to tell her that it was okay, but you bet I was haunted by all that I saw. There is no good way."
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No she always used to say to me “you never know when it will be your time” I’m mad at myself for not being there and the reason was that I stopped at her house on the way to the hospital thinking they will have to get her settled…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJade Rogers, Butterfly, Tammy* and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
3 hours ago
Butterfly left a comment for Avi
"Hi , I lost my mother on April 14, 2018. Was with her when she passed. Love if her life. It was hard watching her go and seeing the fight in her face and her knowing that was it as far as being with me again in physical body. She is now a gorgeous…"
3 hours ago
Joy left a comment for Frances Koonce
"Thanks for your message Frances. I just saw it. I appreciate your kind words. God bless you.  I don’t post on this site likebI did when my mom first died. It’s still hard adjusting to her not being here.  Her death has helped…"
4 hours ago
Joy and Frances Koonce are now friends
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, so glad for you I so wish I could have the same experience I finally after much though realized what it is that I am having a hard time with about my moms death.....why did she go in CA, I cry and realize that I will live with not knowing…"
4 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have made a decision to take baby steps to recover from the trauma of the bleed in my brain. The first step I am working on is thinking of myself as a whole person who has the desire and courage to return to living a life without thinking of…"
7 hours ago
Ginger commented on Susan Dee Leatham's blog post While I was sleeping
"Thanks Susan,for this very inspiring post, I lost my daughter on Feb. 18,2018 and reading this has given me so much more peace as I talk to her  everyday."
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm glad I was able to help a bit.  :)"
23 hours ago
Elynn m replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you bluebird for the kind words.  That's a great idea to write to our friends.   I still send Christmas cards, and birthday cards, but I should send a card once in awhile too. Thank you for the advice."
yesterday
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm sorry you're feeling so down.  It's good that you have your children and your sister-in-law, but no one can take the place of your husband.  As far as your friends, it's quite possible that they just don't know…"
yesterday
Donna Barringer updated their profile
yesterday
Profile IconDonna Barringer and Angel Moore joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Crystal K and Avi are now friends
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn and Monty I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J."
Friday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"thank you Monty for your comments.  I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say.   I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends,…"
Friday
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn sorry so to hear of your loss and how your feeling. My wife passed December last year and i have also found that people have stopped calling and don't come around. I too am feeling isolated and alone. Luckily for me i have my sister…"
Friday

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