"Been there too. I've cut those people out of my life. You really learn whose in your corner when you lose someone and I am finding very few are. Strangers are more supportive. Hope you are ok."
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Sharron Anderson
- Female
- RCH CUCAMONGA
- United States
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Sharron Anderson's Discussions
Numbness and Anger
29 Replies
For the last three weeks I have been unable to feel anything but anger and numbness. I feel like I am slowly dying inside. Everything annoys me. I don't want to be around friends or family. I have…Continue
Started this discussion. Last reply by Sharron Anderson Apr 29.
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"I hear you Sharon. It’s hard to know how we really are doing. I’m in 1000 pieces but look very presentable and can still carry a conversation. To all the people who know my beloved just died but feel the need to bore…"
"Thank you for checking in on me. Let's just say I'm still here functioning as a numb, lifeless shell of a human being. I am the walking dead. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Don't know how I am functioning, I just am."
"Life is a Beat Down. There are no answers only more questions.
Knowing anger is part of the stages of grief is only one more thing to know….not helpful.
I hope you will be able to open up to friends and family when you are…"
"I can understand not wanting to deal with his family. My husband's family is....not good. His father is well-intentioned and not a terrible person, but he basically abandoned his children when he divorced the bitch who birthed them (she is in…"
"Hi Speed,
I hear you in spite of my anger. The only thing I cannot do right now is deal with his family. I don't trust them and I don't want to go thru any drama with them right now. I need all my strength right now. I am a hot mess and it…"
"Sharon,
I know the feeling on the therapists. Went through three of them myself. One specialized in EMDR and that did seem to help...somewhat. One of the things I think that I liked about it was it was a solution. Not an…"
"Hi Speed,
I thank you for your insight. I am checking in. The therapist is somewhat a waste of time. I feel like I am getting textbook phrases that are suppose to make me get over all this. I don't see it. In this short period of time I am…"
"Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family. I share that path with you. I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my…"
"Sharron, I hear you on feeling alone...isolated. Some of it is imagined, some of it is actually real. I know that angry feeling all to well also.Try to come up with specific tasks for people that are offering help, even if it is…"
"I went to spend time with my family over the holidays and although it felt safe, I felt alone. I had a couple of meltdowns and then I came back and I some more. I am feeling angry about the upcoming valentines day, I feel angry that I will forever…"
"Don't give people too much credit. They are all so wrapped up in their own lives that they have very little left over to judge you or even comment.Just excuse yourself and find a private place if that makes you feel more…"
"As you have mentioned, and Bluebird commented on as well, the waves can crash down and punish an otherwise great day. Sometimes I just wish I had a camera to videotape the reactions around me. The mad rush for the door from others.
Grief…"
"Hi Sharron; just checking in. I hope you're doing all right, considering."
"Thank you Bluebird. I appreciate your support more than you know."
"Try not to worry about what other people think of you. The death of a spouse/partner is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and you are not required to act normally or explain anything to anyone. Just try to take care of yourself.…"
Profile Information
- About my Loss:
- Fiancee' died from a horrific auto accident. He was in a coma for 9 days and then died. I stayed at the hospital with him. I have no rights to do anything because we were not married. I am angry and numb and lost.
Comment Wall (3 comments)
- At 3:05pm on April 7, 2023,
James said…
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Cheers
- At 4:38pm on February 8, 2023,
Speed Weasel said…
Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family. I share that path with you. I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my mind she was the woman that I would marry. She too succumbed to injuries from an auto accident. We had such a deep connection and then it was ripped away. I never expected to face the bitter side of being so intertwined as when it was taken away. I felt SO isolated with her absence. I wasn't family, we weren't married, just (JUST) a friend. Her family was not outwardly exclusionary, most of my isolation was even self-imposed. I mean how does a parent process the loss of their child, I didn't want to add to their unhappiness. I have re-connected with her family, especially her sister who has an absolute heart of gold, but it took 30 years and a bit of explaining as to why I had been absent for so long. I have taken my college-aged daughter to most (if not all) the times that I got together with her sister. In the back of my mind, her sister is as close to an aunt as possible. It is wierd, I'll admit, but I have wanted her sister to know my family as if it was her extended family too. Sorry for the rant...just been in a bit of a low point. Jen's birthday is in Feb and needless to say, I am glad it is a short month.
- At 8:12pm on September 17, 2022,
Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong said…
Sharon,
I am truly sorry for what you have been going through. The way his family is treating you is inexcusable, they should know what you meant to him and what he means to you. The lack of being acknowledged as his fiance is also traumatic. I have no advice for you, just know that you aren't alone there are people that will support you. Reach out to friends and other family members.
This site was very helpful for me, but it seems as if it isn't as busy as it once was. Maybe try one of the other groups.
I am here to listen if you want to vent.
My heart is aching for you.
Lisa
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Mom, Me, and Jason
The three of us on my wedding day. J cried from the moment he saw me in my dress - said it was the happiest he had ever been.
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