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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Lynn Boyd on June 15, 2014 at 8:35am

Alan and I celebrated our 25th Anniv. New Years Eve in Vegas. Three days later he got sick. Three weeks later he was gone.  The first two weeks in ICU thought he would pull through, the last week we slowly came to realize he wasn't going to make it.  Damn that H1N1 virus!!

I am completely shattered and so alone.  He was my lover, my protector, my best friend, my soul mate, my security, everything.  I don't know who I am now, or what I'm supposed to do.

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on June 11, 2014 at 2:22pm

Thank you very much Marcia. 

Comment by Marcia Boozer on June 11, 2014 at 12:05pm

Debra

I am so sorry for your loss with your Dad and losing someone at the hospital after a surgery (there is always a risk with any surgery) must have been heartbreaking for your family. I hope that you find your peaceful spot where you can grieve and remember your Dad. My prayers are with you as well.

Comment by Marcia Boozer on June 11, 2014 at 11:55am

As I read through all the heartfelt losses my heart feels so sad. I am glad that I have finally joined an online group for my grief and loss of my Mom who recently and unexpected passed away this Feb. I read so much pain from people and feelings that I have often felt or thought but could never say anything to anyone. I know also that as I write and read many books on grief that sometimes what comes out of tragic is actual something that leads to wonderful and new beginnings and challenges. For example, My Mom was a warrior when it came to community service. She spent most of her life as a social worker and started her own non profit helping families and even during the last year of her life, she helped families. From that I witnessed these families who needed help flourish and become self sufficient families. I also noticed changes in myself and sparking passion for what I wanted but seemed to have gotten lost in marriage, kids and homeschooling. I am now getting back in shape, finally completing my dissertation and started a community group for kids. Her sudden death had a ripple effect on me and others and maybe your loved one left that ripple effect for you but you have not found it yet.

Comment by Marcia Boozer on June 11, 2014 at 11:47am

Thank you so much JO B alexio..It does suck big time because she was so happy to have the surgery and we were making plans for us, her grandkids and even attending a good friend's birthday party.

Shay

Comment by Marcia Boozer on June 11, 2014 at 11:46am

Thank you Debra. It helps to just write or talk about it. It took me months to even be brave enough to post in a grief group. I make strides daily, some I take steps backwards and some I take steps forward. Thanks for your encouraging words!

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on June 11, 2014 at 10:48am

Marcia, I am very sorry for your loss.  It is so tough losing a loved unexpectedly.  In September 2012 my father went in for surgery and never woke up.  We knew there were risks but never expected to loss him.  All the first holiday/events will be hard but somehow we get thru them.  I have benefited from therapy and doing things to honor my Dad.  Maybe you can do things to honor your Mom.  Grieving is different for everyone so my advice is do what feels right for you.  My thoughts and prayers.

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 9, 2014 at 3:37pm

im so srroy for yore loss marcia 

its grt wen thy get beter thn it sucks tht thy get sic again thn we loze loved 1s we do

im so srroy for yore loss

Comment by Marcia Boozer on June 9, 2014 at 3:32pm

I lost my Mom on Feb 14, 2014 at 3:30 pm at a local hospital. She had just gotten back from having surgery on her leg and when I last saw her she appeared to be in good spirits and we even watched a movie together. Not once did she complain about shortness of breath or feeling ill. Within days, she called the ambulance for shortness of breath and later died that day. The hospital said that it was blood clots that had formed in her lungs which affected her heart. She went into respiratory failure every 15 minutes for about an hour when my brother and I could no longer deal with her heart giving away, we let her go. She was all we had, our father abandon us when we were young and she raised us as a single Mom. Even though we are both adults, married with children the pain still hurts. We are still in shock. Her birthday is coming upon us on the 22nd and I really do not know how  or what to do on that day. My husband already knows that "her" day is MY day. 

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on May 31, 2014 at 4:02pm

Wander, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I cannot imagine the pain and hurt you are experiencing.  Please do the best you can for your children and yourself.  I don't believe your husband would want you to give up.  I lost my father suddenly in 2012 and I know it's not that same as losing a spouse.  I found therapy and honoring his memory to be very helpful.  I think a lot of things I do to grieve are strange but we are all different.  My condolences, thoughts and prayers.

 

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