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Comment by Ahmed selim jouhar on August 18, 2015 at 2:15pm

Thank u connie k

Comment by Connie K on August 18, 2015 at 1:26pm

I am so sorry for your loss Ahmed and Danielle. And to everyone here on this site. It is so harsh the sudden loss of our loved ones and life as we once knew it....love and prayers to everyone.

Comment by Ahmed selim jouhar on August 18, 2015 at 9:40am

My mom died this month :( she were sick too, here doctor refused to come to our home, he claimed he were so busy, I think if he accept visiting Us maybe she will live longer, I hate this doctor, but my lost, is so big that I forget about him and every day I keep crying I am not accepting the fact that I lost my mother, I miss here so much

Comment by Danielle McEwe on August 18, 2015 at 6:18am

My sister will be gone 2 years on Saturday. It is surreal to think that it has been 2 years since i heard her laugh, saw her smile, and talked to her. She was killed in a head on collision at the age of 21 and every day my heart breaks that she did not get to live her life. She had just been married a couple weeks earlier and it devastates me on a daily basis. RIp my dear little sister...I miss you every day.

Comment by nicole irving on August 16, 2015 at 4:54am

hi Michele, sorry for your loss. as far as sleep goes for me i think i have a reasonable sleep maybe twice a week, and all the emotional stress is exhausting, i lost my fiancee 3 months ago from 1 massive heart attack, we didnt even know he was sick. as far as organising the affairs / estate..... there is nothing worse, i had an appointment fri for 2 hours with a lawyer by the time i got home i was exhausted, nauseas and sweating like you would nt believe. my son was not blood to mike but the closest thing he had to a dad, he is heart broken and the sadness in his eyes breaks me, he is angry and informed me the other day he wishes he was dead, hes 10. all we can do is push on for these kids i think, even thou there are days when you just want all the pain and loneliness to end. everything i do i think of mike, 24/7 i miss him terribly wishing we had had the chance to marry, go camping, reach or dreams. i would do anything to be able to talk to him, or give him a hug. i always wonder what he was thinking before he died... if we had taken him for a check up would he still be alive... did he realise how much i loved him..... sshould i have gone to the farm where he died instead of to the hospital, could i have spent those last few moments with him. it makes you feel as thou you are losing your mind, confuses you and fumbles your head so you cant think. but he did know i loved him, he is still around and i am going to meet with him again soon. i think the bonus of this site is in reading what everyone else is going through you realise you are not going insane, everyone is feeling the same and here people do truely understand. love your niece and think of her as your sister last true gift to the world. thinking of you nicole

Comment by Michele on August 15, 2015 at 5:44am

Tomorrow will be 5 months that my sister and brother-in-law died in a cabin fire. Everyday I feel like i put on this mask to pretend to be myself while I am at work or dealing with my family. It feels like the string that i am barely hanging on with is about to snap. The night is torture for me. I lay in bed and my head gets flooded with images of what i imagine their last moments were like. I grieve over not being able to pick up the phone and call her several times a day, its torture when I look in the face of her daughter who is at our house all the time. It rips my soul out when I call to get the sad business of their estate taken care of it just wont end. I'm just so tired it feels as if i can hardly function. How is everyone else dealing with sleep and seeing you loved ones in the faces of their children ........ its so depressing and time has not made any of this better just worse. The lonliness is so painful.

 

Comment by John Barry on August 15, 2015 at 2:18am

One of the things I learned in my grief share classes, there can be ripple affects of a loss. I was my mother's caregiver for 7 years, that's all I did. I faced a series of losses. Losing the most important person in my life, lost my job, my income...all in one moment. It's different for everyone. Some lose their social circle, a close confidant, an income, even some friends or family no longer come around. This is something we all have to look at and understand. What was the ripple affect.

Also watch out for sudden long hidden grudges or bitterness to come out. It doesn't happen often, but it can. It did in my family. That's something else we have to work on and not let that person affect our grieving. I had to cut off most of my siblings (dysfunctional family). Because of the good I did for my mother...this also made working on grieving harder. I am in a much better place in my life now. I still grieve over the loss of my mother and I'm working on rebuilding my world. I still have days and times when I cry over the loss. A memory, or seeing something can start the emotions. I'm handling those moments much better now. Holidays can be the hardest.

A suggestion here, I got from my class. For gathering, bring a friend and work as a team. If for any reason you need to leave, have a signal for the other person to see or hear...than both of you can leave. Don't just leave alone.

Comment by dream moon JO B on August 15, 2015 at 1:16am

sorrry 4 evrys loss it feals it get worse not eassy its not

Comment by nicole irving on August 14, 2015 at 7:58pm

John barry, i know how you feel, the evening before my fiancee died i was driving home from work, feeling like a teenager in love, i felt as thou i had just met him, got home and after 3 long years struggling with finance and lifestyle, told him that everything now will improve, i had plans to take him back to new zealand to see his family and we could finally start living a 'normal' life. he died 12 hrs later, my life is shattered, i feel exhausted all the time , sick to the stomache, confused....... i love him so much, why take him now.....

Comment by John Barry on August 11, 2015 at 4:52pm

My mother had passed away in 2013. I had been her caregiver for 7 years. In 2013 she had gotten pneumonia (she was 88). After 2 weeks in the hospital she was over it and was moved to skilled nursing to recover. (she also had dementia). I went into her room and say "hi". she was sleeping, she opened her eyes, saw me, smiled and went back to sleep. I talked to the nurse. She said my mother was fine, she had a slight infection, but she'll be ok. I walked down the hall, thanking GOD for her healing. Everything was back on track. 5 hours later I was woken up with a call from skilled nursing. My mother was taken to the ER. She was having trouble breathing. I raced to the hospital. I was about 5 minutes away. By the time I got there she was on life support. I was told, lack of oxygen caused her heart to stop. The next day she passed away. She was 88.

To go from one moment, thinking everything was good again....to suddenly your world just collapses. It has been a struggle.

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