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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 365
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by joe kelly on Wednesday

How do you guys have your settings?  I didn't have a problem before a couple of days ago.

Comment by joe kelly on Wednesday

I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can.  I sent a message to ninja  to check if I have a setting wrong.  I have pics to be seen by friends set.  I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left this world), that I have on many different types of storage and watch them each night before sleep on my TV which has usb ports.  Thank you all for your nice compliments.  All of our Loves are beautiful. 

Comment by Monty on Wednesday

Hi Joe

that is such a beautiful history and you had such a beautiful wife. 

it shows we should all treasure what we have.

thanks for sharing

Comment by Trina Mamoon on Wednesday

Hi Joe,

Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time.

Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us our soulmates. And I am grateful, even though we only had 19 years together. But so many people don't ever get a soulmate. But all of us here did. And I am grateful for that gift.

Comment by Linda Engberg on Wednesday

Hi Joe,

Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates.

Comment by joe kelly on Wednesday

I don't know why but I can't see or post any pics.

Comment by joe kelly on Wednesday

She was sent to save me.  There was a fate of that.  Too many coincidences to be otherwise.  I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship.  We both moved to a State, same area at the age of 2.  We lived about eight to ten blocks away from each other.  At age 5, She moved a little north to a town adjacent to our original.  I, at age 7, moved north in the same town but only about 2 miles from where she lived in that adjacent town.  There was a high school on the border of the towns that served both.  Friends of mine, were in her class.  At the time we both didn't have a boy/girl friend.  She needed a date for her junior prom and one of my friends told her of me.  In March, 1967, it was picture day where everyone had to go to my side to get their senior picture taken.  They set up a time for us to meet at an ice cream parlor.  She, all Her life told everyone that when She first saw me, She knew I was the one.  Love at first sight.  I felt the same way when I first saw Her.  She led such a good innocent life that I was her real first boy friend.  I really lucked out that day.  Here she is the day we met.

Comment by Linda Engberg on Wednesday

Hi Everyone, 

Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did alone was run. He was always at every race I ran. The worst part I miss is his smiling face at the finish line. But I know his heart was beating in mine. This is one of tattoos I have on my arms.

Comment by morgan on Wednesday

I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.  Now I find I need to hear that I am not alone in my misery as I crawl through the hours that make up a day which extend to a month and total a year.  Just to know what you are feeling helps because so much of the time I have felt the exact same way.  

Although I have to admit I don't think I could do something as energetic as 26 mile runs.  Wow, Linda, that is amazing.  I mean how do you manage to breathe?  I have lost so much of my physical abilities.  You should be very proud that you are able to do it for Julian. I bet he is breathing for you!!

Trina.....as usual we feel much the same.  I can absolutely feel how you wanted to just disappear for the 15th and it was very kind of you to meet with the student of Joseph but I know exactly what you felt when you said it took you days to recover because of the amount of energy it took to do it.  I SO get that.  You hit the nail on the head.  At this point in our time without our loves we get better at functioning but the energy it takes to do everything much less something where you have to grin and bear it to bring some "normalcy" to engaging with someone who knew him.......oh dear, how hard that must have been.   I ran into an old friend of my husband about a month ago and he had no idea my love had died and he was so shocked and I just collapsed.  I barely made it into my friends car and I just melted.  I can imagine how difficult it was to stay focused during the time with Josephs student and there is every reason for it to take days to recover.  It took everything you had....bravo to you and I hope you are getting some of that energy back.  

Marita, like you I have a terrible time doing anything that remotely has a connection to what we did together.  I just can't handle it.  I have just given up pushing myself too hard and have to be ok with it.  The things I have to do I force myself but if I know I have a choice and it wont make much difference I decline to do it.  On looking back I see I was trying to present myself as being able to do things because others needed to see me as the "old" me.  Now I just consider that their problem not mine and I am working towards being able to be a full time hermit. 

I think overall I am just angry I am being put through this.  I never wanted to live alone and I am certainly never going to be with another man and though right now I have a friend staying with me who just needed a place to get through for awhile, I feel alone.  Its not that my husband chose to leave me alone.  I'm not angry at him.  I'm mad that the universe sees fit to keep me behind.  I want to be where he is and even if he isn't there its got to be better than this painful daily burden we all carry here.  

Monty, you are very kind.....and have more patience than me.  I guess part of that might be because of your boys but you are always wishing the rest of us well.  I want that too, I just don't think to always say it and you do.  Its a truly kind way of thinking......I think everyone here has similar feelings its just you say it.......thank you.....Each of us seems to help carry the weight of the rest of us and each of us has a different way to reach out......so in that vein, take care the best you can.......

And here we have three new people joining the website looking for advice and help......Its just so hard to keep up with the emotions that result from each of our situations.......I would have no way to write to everyone but I do hope they find nuggets of help by reading....its pretty much all we've got.

Comment by Marita on Tuesday

Trina,

Thanks for your encouraging words.

 

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dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
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Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
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Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
yesterday
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"How do you guys have your settings?  I didn't have a problem before a couple of days ago."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can.  I sent a message to ninja  to check if I have a setting wrong.  I have pics to be seen by friends set.  I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"She was sent to save me.  There was a fate of that.  Too many coincidences to be otherwise.  I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship.  We both moved to a…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Wednesday
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Tuesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Tuesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"WOW, that's great! "
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Tuesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in a constant state of paralysis.  I seem only to be able to do things when I know I have to.  Simple things go undone.  Dust builds up on my bedroom furniture.  I look at it and say to myself, I should dust.  But…"
Tuesday

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