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Comment by Cindi B on March 16, 2012 at 1:08pm

I miss her so much. Sometimes I still can't believe this happened. I feel so empty and alone without her. It was always us against the world, and now it's just me. It's not right. I wonder if I did everything I could have. Neither one of us was ready for this. I honestly can't imagine where my life will go without her. It's like I'm just coasting but not really living. I just want one more conversation, so she can tell me what to do. I'm completely lost with out her.

Comment by Kris Baclawski on March 16, 2012 at 9:15am

Over twenty years ago, a dear friend lost his parents within 6 weeks.   With the loss of his parents and the dysfunctional behavior of his only sibling, he had to walk away from that relationship.  He's told me that the first year was the hardest.  He often dreams about his parents though mostly in more comforting scenarios.   Bless his heart, he's been with me every step of the way with my mom's passing--even to coming in the wee hours of the morning to the hospital to sit with my sister and me as we had Mom's life support removed.   It's about 6 weeks from Mom's birthday--and 3 months til the first forever as Melissa so eloquently put it.  Today is actually my grandfather's birthday (Mom's dad)--and I'd like to think that he and Mom are heading off to trout fish in some heavenly river.

 

Comment by Melissa Broome on March 16, 2012 at 2:06am

Tammy & Mark sorry for your losses. Tammy I hope you find your camera..

Mark sorry your friends are being jerks, hopefully they come around

Comment by Melissa Broome on March 16, 2012 at 2:04am

next month my mom will be gone a year. to be honest this year has been the hardest year of my life. I keep having anxiety knowing my mom is not a phone call away anymore, Having the 1 yr anniversary approaching has brought out all my emotions full force. I miss my mom everyday but it's been extremely hard the last few days for me. I dream about her every night. and sometimes it's comforting but the last few times. One min she's alive and then she has died numerous times in the same dream it's really hard. When I wake up I lose her all over again    I don't know why this is happening to me again. I have not dreamed this since right after she passed. I can't wait to get these few months over with. I will be over the first forever. I'll be glad to get that part behind me once and for all.

Comment by Mark on March 15, 2012 at 2:41pm

I'm new to this site.  In time I'll begin to tell my story in detail.  It's now been 90 days since my mom has been gone.   Those that babble and say "it gets better with time" are complete liars.  It has progressively gotten worse.  Either that or I'm hitting a wall and coming out of the shock so some of these feelings are emerging that I've surpressed.  Besides dealing with this horrible loss I'm also dealing with the most incensitive friends on the earth.  I actually got a text message yesterday from a friend letting me know I was a lousy friend for not contacting them within the past two weeks.  Like an idiot I called them up and apologized.  None of these so called friends wants to hear about what I am dealing with personally. They all want me to snap out of it and go back to being their fun loving buddy.  I'm sick of it.

Comment by Tammy Dresslar on March 15, 2012 at 12:08pm

I am so mad and hurt today. My camera with the last pictures of my mom is not turning up. It was a years worth of pics on that memory chip. I have tossed the house and vehicle high and low. I have had nothing but issues with my boyfriends kids including taking things.

Comment by Tammy Dresslar on March 14, 2012 at 1:25pm

I am having a numb couple of days. I think it's mainly denial. We still haven't had a service yet b/c my family is disfunctional. I hope closure comes after we have that on her B-day. I am so tired of particular family members wanting things of value. She left me in charge, which I thought would be easier. It's not. Hopefully after July these " family " and I can go back to not speaking. I feel guilty, but now that I don't have to worry about my mom, I have been able to do things like school , that wasn't possible the last 10 years. I just wish she were here physically to see.  

Comment by Tammy B. on March 13, 2012 at 10:02pm

Elaine, I hope you're feeling better today.  I wasn't able to go to work today because I was feeling a lot like you were yesterday.  I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow, so I'm wishing and praying the same for you...take care!

Comment by MSB on March 13, 2012 at 2:35pm

Thanks, Bob. It is so good to know that i am not alone in my lost world. i know my mother is no longer here. But, sometimes, especially when i am home, i feel like i am stuck living in a little world with her. I talk to her all the time, mostly at home.

Comment by Bob Naples on March 13, 2012 at 12:05am

There was a time when I thought things would never get better.The only thing that saved me is,due to my research on the afterlife,I have no doubts about where they are,and that when our time comes,we will all be together again!Until then,it's going to be difficult,and we just have to do the best we can to stay in the present,For you look back,and we get depressed,and we look forward,and we have to deal with the anxiety!Holidays will come and go,and to be honest,they just plain suck,but it does get easier with time.Until then,we need to help each other through all of this,and thank the Lord for groups like this that are available at a push of a button,so we can vent our feelings,and know that we are not alone!

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